one writes when one can no longer handle the voices in their head demanding to be heard
21 posts
Tiredbaby29 - Bored Poet - Tumblr Blog
it should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. like no i shut it off and back on again why are you still here
i cant believe i found it
Are fedoras really that bad?
YES YES THEY ARE
The problem with
I love you
Is that I meant it
...but you never did
listen close/ little enby/ the world isn't fair/ the world isn't kind/ but you keep on smiling/ let your light shine
what is this feeling...
subtle tremors shake from the marrow in bones
skin prickles in irritation to feelings unknown
small voices cry out in the midst of earth-shattering silence
wind brushes past parted lips
desperate tongue races to relieve the ache from the trembling
fingernails catch on sweaty palms
crimson drops peak on paling flesh
longing to be a cold corpse
flesh preserved in a wooden box
soft soil seeping through cracks
dressed in pale blue
holding the black rose
prepared for the eternal date
no more waiting
death waits with open arms
fate smiles from his side
leading lost souls to an eternity unimaginable
Valentine’s Day Blues
Like most
Little girls
I had daydreams
Filled with
White roses
And chocolates
Small stolen kisses
And midnight rambling
As the credits roll
Movie long forgotten
As we snuggle closer
On a couch
That’s a little too
Small
Why did love
Have to be so cruel
I wanted
Happily ever after
I didn’t need
A prince charming
No
Damsel in distress
Wasn’t the role for me
I can slay
My own dragons
Extinguish
The hellfire
That threatens my heart
But the emptiness
A simple void
Beautifully dark abyss
Where love
Is supposed to reside
In my person
A body
With a soul
But no heart
Is no better
Than a walking corpse
Playing in fields
Of rotting flesh
Dead flies
Buzz in my ears
As I whisper lies
To myself
Like always
Trying to comfort
The beast within
Claws scratch
At scarred skin
Vibrant rubies
Exposed on charred meat
Crystals of pure agony
Stain hollowed features
Crisp ivory flashes
Under dim moonlight
The canopy above
Blocking view
Of the heavens
Dancing in cerulean flames
Licking at my pelt
As bones creak
Under the pressure
Of shockwaves and despair
Isolation is a beauty
Long snow hair
Trailed behind her
Weaved with flowers
Eternal blooms
Radiating life
Well death
Wilted petals
Sucked dry
As the demon herself
Walks the earth
Grass withers
Skies darken
Clouds heavy
With unspoken trauma
Fires spark
Engulfing entire trees
Ancient and mighty
Reduced to ashes
In mere moments
Elegance glazes
Her tribulate eyes
Where earth and heaven meets
Pain will rise
Cruel reality
Slips from her lips
Poison to my weakened heart
Such a sweet melody
That she sings
Just for me
Misery dressed lullaby
Love dressed lust
Hope dressed death
I cry out
Broken howls
At the smirking satellite
That watches me
The world burns around me
Yet the room
I lay
Is barren
Reflecting my heart
Next episode
Flashes on the screen
As tissues
Lay scattered
On a floor
That seems so far
Yet close
My grave calls me
The pain in my cries
Bittersweet
A choked song
Escapes my lips
Dear love
Why must you be so cruel
I didn’t mean
To be so damaged
I tried
I will still try
Please
Give me
Another chance
Nothing more
Than a ghost
Wrapped in life
Devoid of
Happy Valentine
Miss Sun
I miss the sun
She has ran away
Her distant rays
No longer
Kiss my skin
She was here
Shining down
When kids would play
Without me
And now
I’m cold
Feeling dread
Seep through my bones
Nude
Every scar visible
Covered in fresh blood
The only heat
My frozen soul
Can feel
Subtle whispers
Turned into uproars
Silence
Vacant rooms
For their hate
Rent free
Inside my head
Paling features
Dull and bland
Lost expressions
Feelings none
Stay
I’m afraid
They wounded
The clueless lover
A constant fighter
Desperate cries
Wrack my body
As I shiver
As I shake
The ones
Who are family
Mother and father
Two fools
That forget about their kid
Sun
Why did you leave
We had something
Your light
My darkness
We balanced each other out
But the bitter truth
I am nothing
Without you
You are everything
Without me
Had I lost purpose
Caramel skin
Now rotting flesh
Disposed prison
My heart
Still bound
To the inside
Of a bottomless pit
Filled with fear
Longing for escape
Miss Sun
I still need you
Mister Moon
I miss the moon
He has been
Hiding from me
And I miss
My old friend
He was there
Watching over me
When the demons
Came out to play
And now
I’m afraid
Shivers race
Down my chilled spine
Exposed
Bare skin
Covered crimson
Warmth enveloped
Broken heart
To the voices
That no longer
Stay quiet
Leave me alone
There is no room
For your hatred
Can you not see
That my own
Fuels my bitter existence
One by one
All those
That I love
Leave
He stole my sanity
She stole my soul
A hollow cry
Escapes my desert throat
Raspy cries
Muffled by soaked pillows
The vibrant night
Outside my window
Remains ignorant
To my suffering
But why
Tell me why
Does it still hurt
Moon
Why did you go too
You and me
We had an understanding
Made a promise
As the silence threatened
To decimate my body
You told me
I wasn’t alone
Wiped away
Crystal tears
That stained
Rosy cheeks
Guess I was destined
To immerse myself
In excruciating isolation
Before quietly wilting
Like the decaying rose
Sprouted new poppies
But it is too late
To be saved
Mister Moon
I still love you
We hold on to the memories of you and me dancing in open fields overflowing with daisies and roses. We hold on for the fear of losing our childhood innocence. We play our parts in a broken society that forces kids to grow up too fast. We are one in the same; two sides of the same coin. I am the sun and you are the moon but together we make the world go around.
~K. Sin
Goodbye
I always try my hardest To see you smile That special sunshine smile That only you can do I hold my breath As I go to great lengths For your melodious laughter To fill the room Even if it means Embarrassing myself I would do anything For you I try To be okay Put on My fake face And pretend That my world Isn't crashing down Around me Broken shards Of a discarded heart Embedded in a bitter soul Bleak and hopeless Crimson waves Washing away My sins Crystal tears Making their way Down rosy features As a hollow cry Is never heard By bystanders Unknowingly witnessing The destruction Of the once Radiant child Pure and blissful Beaten down By words Pushed away By loved ones Forgotten completely By friends There is no love Left in the void Caged inside A bony prison Steady beating Pounding skull Wasted space No more A soft smile Graces my features As I close my eyes For the last time K. Sin
Our Time
Ky: *looks out over the city* This is our kingdom
Alex: *smiles* Hell yes
Ky: We will bring chaos
Alex: *pouts* But snack time though...
Ky: *sighs* After snack time...
Love’s Game
Trusting someone
To stay
The idea that they
Have the simple human decency
To at least wave
Before disappearing
Into the skyline
The blinding sun
A mask
For the thieves
That escape
From love’s grasp once more
Heartbreakers and heartbroken alike
Wait in distress
As they stare
Into the vast sky
Shimmering stars
Highlighting the moon’s
Crooked smile
Gasping for air
The ethereal beauty
Of the night oasis
Crystalline stained rose cheeks
Flushed from exhaustion
Of chasing after a dream
That they will never capture
Unrealistic hopes crushed
By reality’s cruel game
Playing with the hearts
Of those who abandon
And who have been abandoned
Lovers are no more fools
Then the lonely cries of the isolated soul
A. Simone
Foolish Lover
Thinking
Times were ok
But it's not
How longing for you
The simplest of conversations
Have rendered the mind immobile
Staring at the ceiling
Of a room
Dimly lit
By the faded light
As it passes
From the tv screen
To pale walls
Watching
As a heart breaks
It's always
Painful
Forcing down
These damned crystalline tears
Streaming down rosy cheeks
Flushed features accented
By choked sobs
Desperate cries
Muffled by drenched pillows
The moon tries
To shine light
Through tight-lipped blinds
But it's muted
Constantly silenced
As the body
Collapses into itself
The heart shatters
And the soul grows bland
But that heart
Belonging to a fool
Still chasing love
Hoping one day
That maybe
Love will be kind
And the heart can rest
Arms wrapped around a fool
Since the fool
Has found home
In the arms of their lover
A. Simone
Feelings??
Tell me
Goddamnit
Get up and answer
These questions
That decided
To lay waste to my mind
Because
My heart got tired
Of speeding up
Slowly racing
Every heart wrenching moment
Wasted
On another person
Who saw me
As nothing more
Than a stepping stone
I tried
For fuck's sake
I gave my all
And for what
What did I get in return
Besides overlapping scars
Broken trust
And my personal favorite
Shattered desire
I was thrown
Into a spiraling landslide
Of overwhelming emotions
All of which
I couldn't understand
I don't want
To love you
Since you clearly
Don't know how
To love
And I'm not
I'm not even mad
I hate it
This forgiveness
Floods from the depths
Of my despair
As if the scars
And confusion
You caused
Never happened
I look up
At my ceiling
As the cars
Rush by
Tires screech
As if they have
Somewhere to be
In the middle of the night
Or maybe
They are running
Like I am
From the truth
And the street lights
Numbingly illuminate
My bedroom
Through cracked blinds
Allowing the muddled hues
To paint my walls
I wanted
To be ok
Claim to be unbothered
As if you
Had no hold on me
All of my confidence
That has been slowly dwindling
Flailing embers
Dancing further
From hell’s flame
Suddenly vanishes
And I hear it
The cries
My damn cries
These choked out sobs
Being muffled
By pillowcases
Soaked in my desperation
For a feeling of acceptance
As my body
Curls into itself
Trying to hide
From the voices
That scream
Inside my own head
Tell me
You
You
You
You didn't mean it right
That everything
We went through
Holds no value
In your heart
And I was never
Even a glimmer overlooked
In your manufactured world
Carefully crafted
To benefit you
And you alone
Please
I don't want
Empty promises
Made
By a broken soul
I don't care
If you don't like
Certain parts of me
And desire change
I will not
Destroy the few pieces
Of my identity
To force myself
Into the mold
Of your lover
When I clearly
Am not the one
When your issues
Become greater than mine
When all you see
Is what I
Can do
For you
Then don't bother me
I'm going to leave
Watch as my back
Fades into the distance
The shackles
You placed around me
Clank against
The floor
I don't have the time
The patience
The heart
To deal with this
I bled myself out
And the hollow feeling
That resides in my chest
As I search
For the steady beat
Of my dismantled heart
Inside its bony cage
A soul
Drowning in blood
Beautiful crimson waves
Choking it out
Darkened by frostbite
Of a frozen world
Each cold shoulder
Feeling as if
A refreshing summer breeze
Is warming me up
Ever so slightly
As I float
In nothingness
My world
Has faded out
Drained of all color
No longer
Am I able
To enjoy the beauty
Of a sunrise
Or dawdle in the peace
Of a sunset
I reach out
Palm facing hell
As fingertips poke
At the heavens
As if trying
To remind myself
That I am still
Among the living
But without love
Not from myself
Not from others
Is this really
What it means
To be alive
Or am I merely existing
Pointlessly exhausting myself
Trying to forge a path
And call it my own
Before I close my eyes
And rest
Never to be bothered
Ever again
A. Simone
US Helplines:
Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
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Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
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Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253
Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453
UK Helplines:
Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail [email protected]
Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111
Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: [email protected]
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b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: [email protected]
b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)
Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: [email protected]
Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600
Drinkline: 0800 9178282
Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail [email protected]
Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight
India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614
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Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868
FREE 24/7 suicide hotlines:
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(Source)
Love
It’s so hard to love someone
When you don’t even know
How to love yourself
Each passing moment
You daydream
Of falling off bridges
Nose dives off skyscrapers
Eternal plunges into the abyss
Hoping that one day
The voices
Will be quiet
You keep screaming and screaming
But no one hears
Each shallow breath
More suffocating
Than the last
I’m trying my best
To understand
Where I went wrong
Because clearly
I hurt love
So bad
That it chooses to abandon
My blatant cry
As darkness washes over me
Cleansing my sins
In waves of ruby rose
Stained glass
Obscuring the view
Of my dismantled body
As it lays
Before the alter
Praying to gods
That don’t bother
With the likes of me
I’m trying hard
To run away
From these frantic feelings
That keep me fleeing
From a world
Of the unknown
I fall in love so easily
But I fall out
Just as quick
It fluctuates with the phases
Of my snow moon
Waxing and waning
Right before my eyes
My own heart
Shattered glass
Embedded in my soul
Stained from my past encounters
With each passing second
I lose a piece of me
My mind
Slowly deteriorating
As the sun sets
On yet another day
Full of silent suffering
Unexplainable anguish
This undeniable yearning
To be held
Dressed down
With the fear
Of being touched
My sins are great
And now I know
Love is no match
For my desperation
The tears I cry
Are those of a whore
Whose body
Finally lost its appeal
Nobody listens
To the vacant moans
Hollowed out
In the vast church cellar
As I face my demons
With a gleaming smile
Painful lust
Ingrained in my eyes
As I remember
That I
Have no use
Good only for my body
Which isn’t even ideal
No relationship
For bitter souls
I’m growing tired
Of this pointless fight
It isn’t relenting
Any time soon
And I’m sleepy
Let me lay
In my pink coffin
Covered in white roses
Stained red
With my blood
And darkened
By my soul
As it escapes my body
Why do I write
When the world around me
Weeps at the sound
Of my aching heart
It has been broken
Time after time
Never fully healing
This is my suffering
Despair I choose
Tears welt in eyes
That no longer see
Desperate cries
Echo in hollow rooms
As I break down
Because of you
Again
A. Simone
