Maybe If I Experience The True Spirit Of Titmas My Boobs Will Grow Three Times Their Size

Maybe if I experience the true spirit of titmas my boobs will grow three times their size

Things me and my friends have said as Hermitcraft

Tango: Guys, don't touch Impulse's hand, it's actually my dick

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Bdubs: I'm going to sleep, I gonna dream of you dying

Keralis: I love you

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Cleo: I don't think we're skilled enough to make porn together

Joe: I was in a musical once, that's basically the same thing

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Gem: I'm gonna steal Impulse's skin

Pearl: I already called dibs

Gem: Dammit

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Keralis: Why do axolotls look so traumatised

Xisuma: They've seen God

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Grian: You can't just date my imaginary therapist

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Mumbo: The unknowable future isn't so unknowable if you know there's a 1 in 12 chance of salmonella

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Gem: Name an animal named after an Australian state

Pearl: PLOVER

If Cleo wasn't canonically a zombie, I feel like living armour stand Cleo would be a pretty popular headcanon

Not once did I ever think a post about my fanfic would get over 1500 notes

Hermitcraft as things me and my friends have said: 4

Impulse: Who's the prime minister of Canada?

Pearl: Obama?

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Scar: I think I'm allergic to feet

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Joe: Put your pronouns back where you found them

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Scar: Quick, someone play Disney music

Cub: *plays final countdown*

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Ren: How many calories do sunglasses have

Bdubs: 97

Ren: Amazing answer my dude

Bdubs: I aim to please

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Grian: What day is it?

Mumbo: It's night time

One of my favorite headcanons is that Joe's hair is a greenscreen, he just greenscreens actual hair onto it