Throwing-up-butterflies - Currently In Love With Fictional Characters - Tumblr Blog

This is so Wolfstar coded

I am crying

Transmasc!James who hasn’t told a single person outside of his family, not even Sirius knows until he begins to live with the Potters. It got sorted out at Hogwarts so no one would ever know, and it wouldn’t get figured out, he would just be James. No one knew what was in the past. James had always been James. No one could ever figure it out.

Ideally.

James’ whole perfect set up seemingly crumbled to the ground after a Quidditch game against slytherin that ended too quickly and resulted in an overall win, but didn’t really commemorate toward the House Cup due to lack of points and a too-quick catch of the Snitch. James was eager, sue him.

He was alone in the locker room, as usual, as he always waited for the rest of his team to exit before even beginning to change. He had been in the middle of changing when Regulus barged in, clearly in the wrong locker room.

Dread was barely enough to explain the way James felt, yanking his robes to his chest to hopefully cover the dark crimson binder that constricted his chest. Regulus noticed it. Of course he did. He was too observant not too.

Regulus wasn’t stupid. It clicked awfully quick for him, and then how drastic this must feel for James hit him like a brick. Eyes widening, he made quick work of an exit, huffing out an apology.

James nearly cried that night, and decided confronting Regulus would be the best option.

So he managed to find the younger before Quidditch practice, tugging him into a random empty classroom.

“What, Potter?” Regulus asked with slight annoyance at being disrupted. James swallowed.

“Yesterday. About yesterday.” It clicked in Regulus’ head what James was getting at. Regulus blinked up at the brunet. “Can you not…tell anyone? Like- please? I just-”

“That I walked into the wrong changing room? Potter, why in the world would I tell anyone that?” Regulus quickly covered, shaking his head in mock annoyance. James blinked. He wasn’t stupid. He knew Regulus knew. He also knew Regulus was obviously already denying the concept. A warm smile spread across James’ face, one that made Regulus’ heart skip.

“Thank you, Regulus.”

“Sure, Potter. Sure.” Regulus left the classroom as quickly as possible, desperately attempting to shake the feeling in his chest.

Months passed, and with each one, James and Regulus grew closer. It wasn’t intentional at first, James would beg to be Lily’s plus one to Slughorn’s Slug Club parties, and Regulus was a part of them, and who could really blame James for gawking at Regulus when he first saw him in dress clothes. They’d talk at the parties, more words being spoken at each one until they started hanging out outside of these things; sneaking up to the Astronomy tower at night, huddling under James’ invisibility cloak as they searched the castle for places to just hang out without the chance of being caught.

Until one day, James trudges into breakfast looking like fresh hell, and barely speaks to any of his friends. As if knowing this was a monthly occurrence, none of his friends even batted an eye at the mood shift. Sirius even continued on like nothing was different. Regulus had noted this during prior months, but didn’t care as much as he did now.

Again, Regulus wasn’t stupid. He could put two and two together.

So after James rejects Regulus’ offer to hang out after practice, James is wholly shocked to find a pile of items sitting on his bed when he enters the guys’ dorm that night. Peter and Remus had already knocked out, it being so close to a full moon that Remus was too exhausted to even bother going to Sirius and James’ practice. Sirius was too clingy to notice it, crawling into bed with Remus almost instantly.

James, on the other hand, was gentle with his random gifts as he examined them. On his bed sat a dark green blanket and a small box with a note placed atop it. He unfolded the note gingerly, smiling stupidly at Regulus’ neat handwriting.

My sun,

The blanket has a heating charm on it for you, and the box has some chocolate frogs and also chocolate from the kitchen. I had a House elf deliver it for me. I hope you feel better.

-R.A.B.

James couldn’t help the grin that plastered over his face. He sunk into the bed, positioning himself with the new blanket and popping a piece of chocolate into his mouth.

The next morning, Regulus was hit in the temple with a paper airplane. He gave an irate glance toward the origin before melting at James’ goofy grin. He neatly unfolded the parchment, smiling at the messily scrawled out ‘thank you I luv ya’ in still wet ink.

Wolfstar x Songlyrics

Inspo brought to you by Love is the Devil by Natalie Jane... Warnings: The Prank™️, swearing, maybe toxic!Wolfstar, songlyrics, bad English probably.

I can never really tell the truth

Whenever somebody brings up you

Remus could never forgive Sirius. Remus knew that after The Prank nothing would be the same but for everyone to ask what happened to him and Sirius really fucking bugged him. He could never tell them that Sirius hurt him so bad that their relationship would never return to how it was.

Hear your name, sets a flame

Burns to think of all the shame

He trusted him. Remus trusted Sirius. The past tense being the key because when Sirius initiated The Prank that trust went away as fast as Snivellus ran away from the monster Remus was. And when people mention Sirius, Remus feels the betrayal literally burn in the place where his heart should be. Remus knows his heart isn’t there anymore, only broken pieces of what once was.

After all the shit you put me through

Especially 'cause your love was all I knew

His first and last true love. That was what Sirius promised he would be for Remus. To feel cherish as long as they both shall live. But as Remus walks the halls of Hogwarts the only thing he feels is pain as the memories with Sirius in those halls hit him with full force.

Looking back at photographs

When you would hide behind that mask

When the pictures on his nightstand would move, Remus’ attention would always draw to the photograph of him and Sirius in Hogsmeade. Sirius smiling at the camera Remus smiling at Sirius. Was it Sirius’ plan all along to ruin what they had built or was it just an impulsive decision that cross always cross his mind?

I always wondered if I was fine

You made me believe that lie

Always saying it was okay what they did, always believing what he told him. Remus could see it now. It wasn’t fine, it was never fine. They should have never gotten together, never met. It would’ve cost Remus a whole lot less if they never met.

Love is the devil, I can't explain

Just how your words do some shit to my brain

If Sirius told him he was sorry now, Remus would probably forgive him. He is like a drug. He knows Sirius is bad for him but he can’t help but want more, want the comfort it gives him. So he keeps ingesting more and more until it kills his heart. Or him.

Love is the devil, it always tries

To come in and haunt me and mess with my mind

The problem now is that Remus needs him. Remus needs Sirius to help him feel okay again. Even if he is the reason he doesn’t feel okay anymore. He learnt how to be dependent and now he doesn’t want to be alone again.

It is bitter that I won't let myself leave

Remus will end back in Sirius’ arms. Remus knows it. They have been through to much together to split because of one mistake Sirius made. But the mistake was so big that Remus also knows that the relationship they will have in the future will be a fragment of what it could have been.

I am stuck in all the history

The happy memories, now I see

The memories are the worst. All the time they would sneak around in the halls. Go into broom closets together just because Sirius needed some attention. Remus relives everything as his own twisted show in his head as he walks through the halls. His brain’s way of being toxic to itself, convincing Remus he is overreacting and the happy memories far outweigh the bad.

Love is the devil, blinded by hate

Started a war with my heart, I'm like

But while a war of love and hate is ensuing in his brain, Remus’ heart is slowly picking up its pieces. Every piece representing a memory with Sirius, good and bad. And just as Remus’ head comes to the conclusion that the good outweighs the bad, his heart is trying to smooth out the crevices that the breaking of his heart, and the mending of it, has made. Coming to the conclusion that maybe there won’t be a next time and even if there was, it would never be this bad.

Maybe I've been mad

Maybe Remus could forgive Sirius.

just thinking about how the song Go To War by Nothing More is a very good representation of the Marauders in wartime