Thinewhobreathes - *INHALE* *EXHALE* - Tumblr Blog

How dare you say that, I'll have you know my father is a graphic designer

Your penis isn't real; cut it off.

2017 Toyota Corolla, it's my home.

I chose Tiana!!!

Sometimes, it takes a real man to make a real decision

Sometimes, it takes a real man to make a real decision

I love staring down into the grates on the sidewalk. Like you never know what could have fallen in there: someone's keys, a phone, coins, the last will and testament left by a rich man for his children but mysteriously is lost and then gets found at the last moment by your evil step mother saying everything goes to her but you know that it's fake but you have no way of proving yourself so you have to go on a adventure with your sister and your one weird friend in order to find the true will, or even sometimes a baby pacifier!!

I am a true american; my blood is red, my skin is white, and my balls are blue. 🦅🇺🇲🔥

My computer: Are you a robot

Me: Wha- noooo, I'm a human with flesh and blood and *screech* and blood a- blood- blood

Cowboy sounding narrator: "Some people brighten a room but ..."

Me (in a full denim cowboy outfit kicking in a saloon door): "I denim"

Thought this was funny

Thought this was funny

With my eye sight if you're farther than 5 feet people are shadows but with color.

Haha "bool"

Aesthetics tumblr is just a bunch of people trying to say the coolest word under a picture that isn’t theirs

I did this and I have to say that it was a battle to understand what the heck the bot was trying to say.

The lines "Jesus take the wheel" just don't make sense to me because Jesus probably can't even drive so it would be really unreasonable to let him "take the wheel", also he doesn't have a driver's license so it'd be illegal.

New music theory, if you go low enough you get high.

Contribass I think you mean soprano 1

You know what they about guys with big hands?

They uh... have big hands.

What do you call a hoard of snorlax?

Asleep.

Abc, what is a bee sea and how does it exist?

I’m cold hearted, I’ve never shed a tear, not even once, it was just water in my eyes, cause I came out of the swimming pool a while ago

I love this.

I thought about trying to learn a new language, but then I remembered that I barely understand my native one.