Aroha, Please Dont Take This As Failure Or Your Fault

Aroha, please don’t take this as “failure” or your fault

Moonbin has been so amazingly loved by us but (speaking from experience) you can’t make someone stay for you alone. Society collectively still has a long way to go with mental health. We seen many times an artist being vocal about it and even channeling into their art and still passing. People need more than kind words. Those are always needed but people need therapy and/or medication, less toxic work environments, etc etc.

I can be surrounded by love and still need to be admitted. I can hear a dozen positive things but the one negative will stick the longest. I can have tons of good things happen but one bad thing ruins my day. I need medication. I need therapy. I need a better environment. I NEED more than happy people.

WE need more than happy people.

Please please, right now just…

breathe

Talk to someone. Or be alone.

Laugh at something that makes you happy. Cry to sad music.

Write a random story. Write about your pain.

But please just don’t take this as a failure. We loved him as much as we could and we always will.

Remember him for everything he’s given us, not how he left us

Damn y’all nasty😂

…says the one writing it 👀

Out of my drafts, what should I post after the yunho drabble series finale?

TW:// suic*de, depression, sadness

If you are from my other blog you may not be unfamiliar with this kind of post especially for S & J

Whenever you see someone else’s journey end this way when you’ve felt that before, I think it hits you different. It hurts in a way you can’t fully explain. You see the hurt it spreads and the void it creates. But you also understand that pain(the best way each of us can understand another person) since you’ve been there.

These are the moments I also hope and plead for more. I beg there is something good to greet us on the other side. Something that takes them and comforts them to let them know they won’t suffer anymore, that they’ve done so well and they can rest now.

If it’s all just just darkness we won’t know the difference but honestly I can’t take solace in that. It doesn’t have to be “God” but they deserve more. WE deserve more. At the end of our journey, at the end of our suffering, we deserve unconditional peace and happiness expelling all our earthly sorrows.

Where he is now, he is resting. They all are.

old draft i just found

Imagine you want Chan to cum inside you so bad that you try to coax him into it. Mewling ‘please’ over and over again as he reaches his peak. He gets mildly annoyed but just fucks harder to make you cum first until he pulls out to cum on your stomach. You pout but he says something about it being too gross and weird.

You get very quiet after that, not speaking a word as he cleans you up. When he gets into bed you immediately get up to go to the living room. He is disappointed since he was hoping to fall asleep next to you since he had to work early the next morning but he goes to sleep anyway.

Two nights later, he came home earlier than usual to spend time with you but you’re obviously upset. You’ve barely spoken to him or touched him since that night. He’s barely even made eye contact with you. Felix notices the tension but doesn’t say anything until he sees you walk right past Chan out of the kitchen when he was clearly going to say something to you. He finally asks “Is everything ok? She’s been like this for a few days.”

Chan, now annoyed though slightly embarrassed, speaks through pink cheeks. “She is just upset she didn’t get what she wanted.”

“What did she want?”

Chan stumbles and stutters for a moment before just saying something vague about a “bedroom fantasy”. “I just don’t think I should sacrifice what I want just so she’s not a brat. I don’t want to feel gross when I’m sharing a moment with her.”

Felix’s brows furrow knowing you wouldn’t be that upset over something so selfish but he isn’t sure what it even is nor is he sure if it’s his place. Before he can say anything you speak up from the doorway.

“Fuck you, Chris.” Both men look towards where you were standing with angry tears. “I’m not being a brat and I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable.”

“Then why have you been acting like this?”

“Because” you paused and Felix noticed you were hugging yourself. “Because you keep calling me gross and weird”

Felix was alarmed at the sight of your tears and rushed you comfort you. You fully buried yourself in his arms.

“I didn’t call you gross, just what you were asking.” Chan tried in vain to argue.

“Do you think having your cum on my stomach is better??” You fired back. “Or my mouth or my ass?”

Felix was frozen, veeeery sure he should not be hearing this.

Meanwhile Chan was lost for words.

“Sex is fucking gross in general but I’m not trying to make you do something your uncomfortable with. I just don’t want to be called weird or gross.” He could barely hear the last part because you buried your face in Felix’s chest as you began to cry harder. “I thought I could share things with you but you made me feel bad about myself instead”

Chan felt worse than bad. He hadn’t thought about that, any of it. Sex isn’t the most sanitary thing. Personally he’d never had cum on him the way you had so he couldn’t even argue how gross it might’ve felt relative to cumming inside you. Most importantly, he hasn’t meant to insult you. He would never try to hurt your feelings especially in a vulnerable moment.

“______ I’m so sorry!! I hadn’t thought about it like that.” He apologized profusely. Felix tapped you gently, pointing to Chan whose arms were now open to give every bit of comfort he could. You accepted, albeit hesitant, though once you were there you squeezed him tight as you cried. He squeezed back, tears of his own falling as he continued to apologize. After a few minutes, he picked you up, yours arms still tight around him, taking you back to his room.

Felix stood there for a moment. “I feel like I shouldn’t have heard any of that.”

In the end, Chan’s innocent comfort turns to apologetic lust and he ends up granting your request. From the moment he feels himself release into your waiting walls he learns something- he loves it.

He gets hooked instantly from that moment. You smiled contently not knowing you’ve awakened the beast- Chan’s breeding kink.

I didn’t proofread or format 🤷🏽‍♀️ I just wrote some shit out so I might delete

In light of Moonbin’s passing, I may not post my normal content for a few days. If anything you may see me posting and reblogging comfort fics. It hurts really bad