The Winners Of The IgNobel Prizes Were Announced This Week During A Ceremony At Harvard University. This

The winners of the IgNobel prizes were announced this week during a ceremony at Harvard University. This marked the 22nd year that the world’s most improbable research was celebrated in hilarious prize form. They are even presented by actual Nobel Prize winners!

Here are some of this year’s highlights:

Psychology: “Leaning to the left makes the Eiffel Tower seem smaller”

Peace Prize: Conversion of old Russian ammunition into diamonds

Neuroscience: Demonstrations of the limitations of fMRI analysis, AKA “Brainwaves in a Dead Salmon”

Literature: The U.S. Government General Accountability Office for producing their report calling for reports on the cost of reports.

Fluid Dynamics: For study of the unique spilly-sloshing that occurs when a cup of coffee is carried while walking.

Full list here. Scicurious is digging into the awards in detail on her blog. 

Drive-by psychoanalysis

A matronly, sweet psych professor

Was stopped by a burly aggressor.

Said she "These displays

Are Oedipal plays

For love, mother (fucking) obsessor." 

The lost art of hand lettering

I wish we could take credit for this, alas, we cannot. On the other hand, I might send them my resume. I might not be a Rabbi versed in Dark Talmudic Arts, and my Aramaic might be a tad rusty, but I could probably figure it out. Plus, I'm comfortable working with clay: that's sort of necessary, no? It wouldn't do to have a golem if its terribly disfigured. Lastly I know how to ward off Gollum: throw potatoes at him! He wouldn't know what to do!

Best of Craigslist: Looking for Rabbi Versed in DARK TALMUDIC ARTS to create GOLEM.

WANTED:  One Rabbi versed in the Dark Talmudic Arts to create one Golem for household of three. Golem will perform rudimentary household chores such as dishes & sweeping, basic Math Tutoring for our daughter in 3rd grade and basic household security. Golem must be obedient and fairly unobtrusive on our every-day lives.  We will supply all materials needed (clay, twigs, calfskin parchment, etc) needed to create the Golem. All you need to do is use your magical ancient Rabbinic skills to animate said Golem!  Please note! We are looking for a Rabbi to create a Golem: an anthropomorphic being created from inanimate matter from Jewish folk-lore, NOT Gollum: a former Hobbit turned into monster and looking for “precious”. This is important! We have no interest in living with Gollum. We want a Golem. Please respond, serious inquiry only. 

(Source)

Did you guys know you could do this?

Don't get me started on Coke and Mentos

I once had a friend, Barry Metlzer

Who always was guzzling seltzer.

His last words were a squelch

Then a sonic-boom belch

That blew him to bits helter-skelter.