Wait.

Wait.

What if the story of Bungou Stray Dogs is just a frame narrative. So maybe Atsushi is telling this story to his children, but it's their bedtime, so he tells them that he will tell the rest of the story the next night. Atsushi then cuddles for the rest of the night with his husband, Akutagawa, who pretends to be a vampire, making both of them laugh.

In the morning, their children meet up with Chuuya and Dazai's children, who are joined by Higuchi and Gin's kid. Kenji and Kyouka reveal that they are engaged. Poe and Ranpo call in from America to say they can make the wedding date. Yosano and Kouyou shed tears at this beautiful turn of fate. Nikolai and Fyodor show up, and everyone is jokingly mad at them. Fyodor promised to bring his band over for the wedding. Nikolai says he can provide the entertainment. Kyouka and Kenji have invited Mori and Fukuzawa, who were currently on a honeymoon in Italy.

Fukuchi died because he set one order wrong and ended up killing himself and nobody else.

Aya and Teruko live with Bram and Sigma.

Kunikida started up his old relationship with Katai, and managed to clean him up a bit.

Jouno and Tetchou live happily but the Hunting Dogs group chat keeps getting spammed by Jouno and his text-to-speech.

Tachihara and Tanizaki get together after Naomi forced him to go on a double date with her and Haruno.

Lucy and Lousia get a thing going on, leaving Fitzgerald and Steinbeck alone. They get a thing going too.

Lovecraft stays asleep (he tired of this)

And they all lived gaily ever after (pun intended).

This was Asagiri can keep the mystique of what happened, leaving the fandom to wonder how everybody was still alive, and begging Asagiri on a daily basis to ask him how he did it.

There is no other way.

yeah sure therapy is nice but teen sokouku is faster and a lot cheaper

Theory (yes again)

I'm crazy, so I shall force this upon thee.

Dracula - Bram Stoker

Count Dracula - Fukuchi/ Fyodor

Jonathan Harker - Dazai

Mina Harker - Chuuya - sweet innocent maiden who gets harmed by Fukuchi and is manipulated and gets bad dreams

Quincey - Atsushi - dies fighting Fukuchi/ Fyodor, tries to keep Akutagawa alive. Got rejected by Akutagawa but still loves him

Renfield - Nikolai - Attempts to gain immorality by eating insects (Fyodor wannabe essentially)

John Seward - Sigma - Nikolai's doctor, extremely very confused

Lucy Westerna - Akutagawa - Turns into a vampire and has to be killed

Brides of Dracula - The Hunting Dogs - 'Vampires' only obey Fukuchi.

I just remembered that Higuchi and Gin are both Vampires. Let the shenanigans begin.

Kenji these days scares me. He's all 'I looove cows' and then he's like 'Yes I am the re-incarnation of a fearsome demon, and I will eat you and your whole family' to back to 'OMG I LOOOOVE KYOUKA'

Have you drawn fancy Victorian Ranpo

That. That can be arranged

Bonus a pocket sized ver