| Not Lauren| An ADHD bitch who obsesses over fictional men | Currently: Tired |
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He’s just a little guy.
Little Gummygoo version 🐊💚💛
Something’s Fishy Here (Merperson!reader)
Notes: My contribution to Mermay 2024 while I still have motivation to write this month.
Characters: Alhaitham, Diluc Ragnvindr, Wriothesley, Dainsleif, Neuvilette, Capitano
Warnings: mentions of physical violence
Masterlist
Alhaitham (Lemon Shark)
Sumeru was known as the land of kelp. It was a large kelp forest before the reefs of Fontaine and after the clear waters of Liyue and Mondstadt.
You, being one of the more curious members of the merfolk, had been traveling alone for a time.
Sumeru, as it happened, was one of the places you’d been wanting to visit the most.
That was when you first met Alhaitham, a lemon shark merman who was a tad more standoffish than most others of his subspecies.
You were a beta fish merperson, your tail frilled and colorful. It was one of your only defense mechanisms save for the shorter claws you had compared to other more aggressive merfolk that came from harsher places.
Alhaitham was, by all standards, a good lover to you. He treated you well and kept you safe if ever he saw someone as a threat.
One time, you accidentally flipped him over while you were bothering him and that was the day you realized what Tonic Immobility was.
He likes nuzzling your neck and is practically attached at the hip to you all evening after a long day apart from you.
Diluc Ragnvindr (Red Snapper)
You were a shark, so you often tended to be a bit of a loner.
That’s why you were so surprised to find that you had feelings for Diluc, a Red Snapper merman.
Diluc didn’t really know how to react when he found you were often there to help whenever he needed assistance, but he figured out why when you bared your teeth at Donna when she tried to make him uncomfortable and get in his personal space.
Soon enough, he plucked up the courage to ask you to be with him. He noticed you looked rather excited when he asked, and you happily said yes to him.
He definitely laughs when he realizes you can go into tonic immobility.
He doesn’t do it often, given that you’re in a trance for almost fifteen minutes every time he does it, but he does find it heavily amusing.
He likes staying close to you, given he rarely gets to have a break from work, so you usually help him with his work when you’re not working for the Adventurers Guild.
Wriothesley (Great White Shark)
Shark Wriothesley is the best Wriothesley
You were a swordfish merperson, but you quite liked being around Wriothesley even before you got into a relationship with him.
There’s a lot of hunting competitions between the two of you.
Wriothesley, despite knowing you can hold your own, definitely fights for you whenever you two get into any skirmishes with others because of his more instinct driven nature that rears its head in fights.
His territory is the Meropide Trenches that separate the north and south hemispheres of Fontaine’s waters.
He hates it when you flip him over. His tonic immobility lasts for a little over ten minutes, but he still hates it because it stresses him out.
He’s fiercely protective of you, but it’s because he loves you and doesn’t want you getting hurt.
Dainsleif (Greenland Shark)
He’s definitely a Greenland Shark merman in my personal opinion.
Khaenri’ah used to be a reef system, but during a tectonic shift, was sucked deeper down in the ocean, resulting in a tsunami due to the colliding tectonic plates.
The tsunami wiped out many in the population, which were sharks, and Dainsleif, cursed by the Seven alongside the other pureblood Khaenri’ahn people, slowly became a Greenland Shark, but his tail remained the same deep royal and navy blue colors it had always been, despite the fins morphing over time to tolerate the far lower depths of the sea.
That was when he met you, a snailfish merperson, who lived closer to the deeper depths of the trenches.
You got along well with him, and often visited him given how easily you traveled to the deeper parts of the trenches without any trouble.
He’s a tad more protective, but that’s because he doesn’t want to lose you as he has most of not all of the other people in his life.
Neuvilette (Swordfish)
Neuvilette is a swordfish merman, I’ll die on this hill.
Instead of being protective and possessive of you, he mostly just tries to avoid situations where you would need his protection.
He likes giving you gifts, it’s one of the ways he expresses his love for you.
Suddenly, your home is filled with little trinkets and shiny things he finds whenever he’s out and about in the reefs.
He also speaks to the melusines, who swim around with you when you’re unable to see him due to his work.
He likes physical touch, it’s one of the things that calms him down in the rare occasions where he gets angry.
Though he rarely shows it, he does often worry about you, even if you can defend yourself.
Capitano (Great White Shark)
Another shark merman.
Capitano is one of the larger shark merfolk, so he usually doesn’t even need to fight for someone to get the message to leave if they bother you.
You’d wandered into his territory by accident, but you, being a remora fish merperson, immediately thought he was friend shaped and swam up to say hi.
He’s perplexed by you. Few to none of the other merfolk in these waters swim within half a mile of his territory, but he’s certainly not one to refuse the company of someone as kind as you, so he lets you explore.
He slowly grows to realize he has feelings for you, and it’s only when he sees Dottore, a tiger shark, going after you that he realizes that he’d rather fight someone to the death than see you hurt.
After all, it ought to be only him biting you, and certainly not to kill you.
After that incident, he asks if you’ll be in a relationship with him, and you say yes.
He’s a good lover, and provides most anything you wish for.
He’d raze the whole ocean if only to see you happy.
me walking into the grocery store to buy everything bagels
卓越したボディコントロール Σ(ﾟДﾟ) ｽｯｹﾞ! Body control of a horse archer
（ Reddit:r/Damnthatsinteresting u/rgatoNacho ）
interesting fact i have titanium in my spine
reblog only if you’ve received less than 1000 boops! we can all get each other to “max”
Sticky hand wall update
@briefnutstudent
You can only reblog this today.
Little old Italian lady: Do you have zucchini?
Me: Yes, right here.
Lady: Is how much?
Me: $2.99 a pound.
Lady: It's usually $1.49.
Me: Yes, in the summer.
Lady, pauses, then grabs two: I put it in a soup.
Me: Oh nice, what kind are you making?
Lady: You will not fantasize about my soup.
And then she walked away. "You will not fantasize about my soup" will be in my head forever. I love you, little old Italian lady.
why did it make me think of that dinosaur soup ladle
I saw this and knew I had to reblog it because there’s no way this isn’t true. I thought about it for a bit and what if he was talking to someone who has a shorter fuse like Kaveh or Faruzan when it comes to subjects they’re passionate about like architecture or ruin technology?
Two minutes in and someone’s about to throw hands in what started as a discussion over Sumeru’s architectural and technological history.
Between someone who studied architecture for who knows how many years of his life and is an architect, someone who’s been around for little over like a century and spent most of her time researching mechanisms and ruin technology, and the guy who probably witnessed said history himself, someone is throwing hands and it’s not Zhongli.
Zhongli would drive them both insane for the fun of it and I’m absolutely living for it.
I’m tired of people acting like Zhongli is a serious and chill guy who would never cause problems on purpose as if he isn’t one of the biggest menaces out of the Seven. He used to throw mountains at Venti for annoying him. He, the god of history, starts fights among historians for shits and giggles. He tried to gaslight the Traveler into thinking he was totally not at the Chasm guys really Aether/Lumine you must be seeing things maybe you should go see Baizhu. When Qiqi wanted “Cocogoat” milk he was like “Oh yeah sure totally let’s go look for it” knowing damn well it was a wild goose chase. He made the Traveler sing to a flower and then was like “Oh would you look at that” when a Whooperflower jumped out to maul them. I love him. He’s like a cat pushing things off the counter to see how people react. I would pay to see him interact directly with Neuvillette because I know for a fact he’d get on that man’s nerves and argue about water tasting just to feel something. Furina used freedom from godhood to take a nap and Zhongli used it to give psychic damage to anyone who talks to him longer than 5 minutes. Iconic.
REBLOG if you have amazing, talented WRITER friends.
Because I certainly do, and I love every single one of them and their work.
LAURENNNN 🩷
Girl I’ve missed you 😞💔
How’ve you been? What’s going on?? :D
Also my fiancée gave me an Itto plushie for Christmas and he sits on a little throne above my bed (and yes, I’m still obsessing over him and most likely won’t stop)
And I also had a fairly…*GULP* interesting dream last night regarding two dragons in which one of them was French and they were accompanied by a certain Himbo I’m sure you’ve heard of
I don’t think I can disclose the contents of my dream (unless you want me to 👀) without my face being an embarrassing shade of pink and interrupting myself to let out some giggles more than a few times
Anyways yeah :3
Miss you girl, lots of love from Lottie 🫶
OMG LOTTIEEEE I’VE MISSED YOU TOO!❤️
It’s been a bit of a stressful year for me and I’ve been on a hiatus forever but it’s because I have like no motivation with burnout which sucks. But anyways other than that I GOT A WEIGHTED STUFFED CHEETAH FOR CHRISTMAS AND ITS SO NICE AND SO SOFT. I’ve named him Toast, courtesy of a friend of mine for suggesting the name.
The Itto plushie sounds adorable. Anyways other than that I haven’t really had much else happening in my life but that’s probably for the best with how hectic my life has been recently (hence the need for a major hiatus) but I’m alive I swear.
Also happy new year! Here’s hoping 2024 goes well! Lots of love from me too!
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
I hope you all get lots of lovely presents and that your Christmas is a good one!
Warnings: None, just a short little fluffy scenario to somewhat bring me back from the writers block.
“One”
“Two”
“Three”
You’d been counting off the push-ups Capitano has been doing since you first joined him in what looked like a personal gym, not that you minded, he looked easy on the eyes whenever he ditched the heavy Fatui clothing he wore every day.
“Eleven”
“Twelve”
“Thirteen”
You were an odd but lovable person, a bookworm with a passion for art. He knew how much you loved to draw and sketch and sometimes, on the off chance you were able, paint. Capitano, however, loved you all the same, always holding you whenever he had the time and bringing you to meetings to keep you close to him whenever he could, where he felt you were safest.
“Twenty-five”
“Twenty-six”
“Twenty-seven”
Your voice was the thing that grounded him and made him relax after a long day of work and annoying subordinates, namely Tartaglia, who pestered him nonstop to spar with him.
“Thirty-two”
“Thirty-three”
“Thirty-four”
You paused for a few seconds, frowning slightly before looking at your lover.
“You know, I recently received an invite to Tartaglia’s home to help him discuss who would look out for his family while he’s in Fontaine since Pulcinella will be busy for the foreseeable future in Inazuma dealing with the things going on there now that the Vision Hunt Decree has been abolished for quite some time. I was hoping you wouldn’t mind if I went out to Morepesok and visited. I’ve heard that Teucer, Tonia, and Anthon are lovely children.” You said, ceasing with the counting. Capitano somewhat faltered at the change of subject, still trying to maintain focus on the number of push-ups he was doing. “Perhaps we could, if you promise not to let him ramble again. He wouldn’t keep his mouth shut and he kept asking questions about you after the meeting here at the manor. It annoyed me.” He said. His pace was steady, and he continued to make the number of push-ups steadily climb.
“Is that jealousy I hear, dearest?” He heard you ask, and only gave a huff in response to your question. “Come on, Tartaglia isn’t like that and you know it. He wouldn’t dream of angering you or of stealing me away from you. And for what it’s worth, he’s far too reckless for me to handle.” You said, gently leaning down and kissing his cheek. “But if you want to talk of other matters, then I must admit that the holidays are fast approaching, and this would be the perfect time to mention that we don’t have any plans for the holidays. The Tsaritsa has informed me that you’re not required to go to work for a week or two, I believe. That gives us plenty of time to catch up and relax.” You said, your voice a bit softer. He didn’t answer immediately, but you knew he heard you. “We can discuss this at length when I’m not in the middle of doing push-ups. Speaking of, you’re supposed to be keeping count, since you so graciously took the task of doing so.” He said, his blue eyes gazing up at you as he turned his head to look up at you. The smirk on his face clearly showed his amusement as you stumbled and tried to remember how many push-ups he’d done.
“Oops, forgot about that, sorry.” You mumbled sheepishly.
“It’s fine, no need to apologize. I’ll catch you up. I’ve just reached fifty.” He said. You smiled softly, rolling your eyes.
“Show off.” You mumbled.
“Fifty-one” you counted, looking down at him.
No thoughts except Capitano doing pushups and you sitting on his back crisscrossed while he trains. He's a bit confused at first (wouldn't you rather do something else? don't you want to go for a walk maybe?) but no, you're insistent on doing this. Your added weight is no problem for him of course and he finds himself enjoying this particular session of training far more than usual as you ramble on about whatever. (You keep track of the number of push-ups aloud for him but you end up getting sidetracked because the number grows to be far too much.)