Ok Guys, Not To Yap Again, But I Really Want To Talk About Strangers By Ethel Cain, And More Specifically

ok guys, not to yap again, but i really want to talk about strangers by ethel cain, and more specifically the line "If I'm turning in your stomach, am I making you feel sick?". I think this line can be two sides of the same coin; one side is resentful and angry, the other self sacrificial and insecure. Ethel was put through horrible trauma by her father, I think she sees the parallel between what both of these men did to her. It's the betrayal and how they both thought they could use her and her body how ever they want, both using their power over her(the dad's authority and her idolization of him, Isaiah using drugs). When she says "If I'm turning in your stomach," she's means to turn in your grave, her body is now one with Isaiah's and that is her grave. She is unhappy with how she was used, especially when she believed she loved him (she was manipulated and drugged, even in death she still struggles with understanding what really happened). But that line also refers to the dread and anxiety you feel when you're guilty, a pit in your stomach, something doesn't sit right. When she asks "Am I making you feel sick?" She is hoping and begging over and over to know if he is guilty, if he is ashamed of what he has done. To know if, maybe, her father and all the other men who have wronged her also get sick with themselves over the guilt. This brings me to the next way this could be interpreted, which is Ethel's need to be good and righteous, so selflessly, for the people she 'loves'. In this way of thinking, she couldn't bear making somebody feel bad because of her--> never being able to blame and completely resent those who hurt her. She just wants to know if she is good, in many Christian denominations (i was brought up catholic, so tell me if im wrong) you are always comiting some kind of sin. She also talks a lot about how the sins of her fathers are now placed unto her, is she stained. It's kind of like the idea of the original sin, something your ancestors did that have stained the bloodline. It's also the belief that, when one has no guilt given unto them by God, the act was his will "if it's meant to be then it will be, and i forgive it all as it comes back to me" but maybe she worries that, if it was right, if he has no guilt, then she deserved it. i really suggest watching ep. 5 of midnight mass to get what i mean, more about that kind of belief. She was placed with this feeling of deservedness due to her family tree, but is she really that bad? Even while he is eating her, does she taste good? Does he feel sick? Was it worth her life?

addicted to thinking about regulus black as a living wound. he’s an erased act of history. he’s defined only through three separate acts of betrayal, first his brother, then his family, his friends. he is a massive scar on the life of anyone who was close to him and he leaves those marks on everything he touches. the reader can only really get a sense of who he was by tracing the exit-wounds he left on the lives of other people… he isn’t haunting the margins of the story because he walked away from it, with purpose, a long time ago. he’s a fragmentary text of which translation will always be approximate. he is the fact that even the oldest, healed-over, invisible wounds will be reopened through exposure to scurvy, too much time spent at sea. he’s the burnt edge of a manuscript! he’s the scar that unknits itself when proteins denature!!

Well, my boyfriend's in a band

He plays guitar while I sing Lou Reed

(This is kind of building off/more thoughts about @florsial s post) I really think that people misinterpret how bartylus are as very very dark. But I think they're only really evil and crazy towards others, not each other. I think theyre the epitome of loyalty, devotion, worship, and understanding/acceptance, in the most beautiful way. They are all of these things in the most Hozier coded way, if you get what I mean. Like the obsession is not in a stalker way, but in the way of still getting butterflies from a smile, even after decades of being together. And worship in the way of seeing someone truely as they are, never undermining or trying to change that, and loving it all. They are really the definition of finding The One. Somebody who is every part of you as yourself. I could never really believe that they would be with other people because they fit so well. They would be so obsessed and sick in love, they would never glance another's way. They wouldn't even argue that much (contrary to popular belief). They are both very very passionate and love with their whole beings, they give every part of themselves to each other, so vulnerable. They've been through so much together, and never doubt each other. They're best friends and stick through to the end. They may act out and be crazy and evil, but for each other, so good. So good, it would be just natural for them to act like that to each other. I don't think at all that they would be perfect, especially because they both have their own traumas and issues that would cause problems, but overall, they are not as toxic as people think they would be. There are two sides of passion, one of violence and rage, and the other of love and devotion. They would both put their violent side outwardly, but to each other they would just be in their own little bubble of true understanding and worship.

(Btw, take this with a grain of salt, I think this can manifest in different ways, and it can be fun to have them be a little darker towards each other in fics, this is just how I think they would be and their main traits as a couple)

Found this on Pinterest, I think I've finally met my match😞