There Are Two Wolves Inside Of Me, One Wants Me To Be Productive So I Won't End Up Thinking About Things

there are two wolves inside of me, one wants me to be productive so I won't end up thinking about things I shouldn't and the other just wants me to do nothing all day

What is love?

Warning: none

Genre: fluff

Pairing: Anton x reader

Love. It was something you had been infatuated with since you were a child, ever since you saw your first romantic film. You were obsessed from then on, and as the years passed, you grew up wondering who you would fall in love with. What would they look like? What would they smell like? Would they think you were beautiful? Will it stay forever, as in fairy tales? You couldn't wait to grow up because you were so excited and ready for love. But, while you did so, you noticed people claiming to be in love and seeing them stab each other in the back, repeatedly shattering each other's hearts.

Is that what love is? Hurting each other?

Maybe love doesn't look as it does in movies. But you'd never know because you're in your late teens and haven't fallen yet. You desired for that adolescent love phase that everyone went through, something you'd remember for years to come. When will it happen? That question kept you awake at night as you watched romantic movies and shows and watched these characters fall in love. Maybe you weren't pretty enough, didn't get out enough, or were never destined to love or be loved. Perhaps this love thing was a hoax.

"So when are you getting a boyfriend?" That was a question you'd heard far too often for your comfort. You tried everything, changing your appearance, acting like the girls who got all the attention, even dating apps, but nothing worked. Even if you did get some attention, it wasn't the kind you were looking for; they wanted sex, while you wanted a relationship. Is that too much to ask?

As a result, you gave up. You were still a virgin in your twenties, had never had your first kiss, and had never been in a relationship. You had grown accustomed to being alone by this point, which was unfortunate. After seeing your friends get dumped and cheated on, you might have gotten lucky. But your heart yearned for someone to adore. Until you met him, that is. He was compassionate, soft-spoken, and considerate to those around him. You never expected someone like that to fall in love with you, yet he did. When he confessed to you, you didn't believe him at first and laughed in his face, believing it was a joke.

“You? You like me?” You let out a snort, “Anton please stop joking around.”

His timid smile had faded into a deep frown, and his puzzled eyes examined your face for an explanation. He assumed you liked him back, but he could be mistaken.

“I’m serious y/n, I like you.” You stood there dumb founded realizing he wasn’t joking.

Anton soon became your first boyfriend, and you quickly began to feel that feeling that everyone talked about, the feeling that you believed you'd never feel, the feeling that you felt was a lie. You fell hard and fast in love. Your heart would swell with excitement every time you thought of him, and a silly smile would appear across your lips. But you didn't mind since you were in love, and it had come as a complete surprise.

That's when you understood you can't rush a feeling, especially one as powerful as love.

You were certain he felt the same way because every time you looked at each other, his eyes twinkled and his ears turned the brightest shade of red. He'd grasp your hand and never want to let go, leaving soft kisses on your knuckles telling you how beautiful you were and how he never wanted you to leave his side.

Now, love wasn't easy, and it wasn't all rainbows and sunshine as the movies depicted, but they got one thing right, you would do anything for the one you were in love with. You were a fool in love because love made you a fool.

“I love you y/n” he smiled leaving a kiss on your forehead.

“I love you more Anton.”

©heejayy 2023 — any reposts or translations of my works are strictly prohibited unless granted permission

ENHYPEN AS KINDS OF LOVE.

────𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗌𝖺𝖿𝖾 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝖼𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝖺 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗈𝗇.

𓋜 enha as love in the form of words ㅤ. .ㅤ𝑣𝑖𝑜𝑙𝑒𝑡ㅤㅤ𓍼ㅤㅤ𝑔𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑒𝑛 & fluff ࣪  ㅤ˖ ㅤ𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖑ㅤㅤ৲ lowercase intended ㅤ. ⠀𓈃 ๋ ㅤ𝐍𝐄𝐖 峠

( yeonie.notes ) please show lots of love, 1592wc. fem!centered. FEEDBACKS & REBLOGS WOULD BE REALLY APPRECIATED.

꒰⠀hee⠀⠀⎯⎯ ⠀⠀seung.⠀꒱⠀⠀ 🖇️ 𝄒⠀⠀ ﹙𝑣𝑖𝑒.﹚ as 'i know baby, you don't have to say anything' kind of love. the guy who can read even your silence. heeseung looks at you more than anything in his world, he knows you more than you know yourself. he remembers everything about you from the brand of your conditioner to the friends you don't talk to. if there's anyone who can see right through you even in the worst of times, it's him. your comfort in a bustling town. to him love lies in the little details, in understanding what can not be understood, in the language of the eyes.

"heeseung i really-" you squeal walking into the shop as he holds the door open, "want a strawberry and cream frappuccino? i know baby," his words form a smile on your face, one that lights up your eyes, one that heeseung mirrors his heart all giddy and warm. "then i'll be at-" looking around the interior you turn back to him, "the table by the window, i know baby," giggling at how well he knows what you like, you press a tiny kiss on his cheeks,"i'll be waiting!" i'll be waiting he mouths at the same time as you walk further away, grinning idiotically before the cashier snaps him back.

꒰⠀jong⠀⠀⎯⎯ ⠀⠀seong.⠀꒱⠀⠀ 🖇️ 𝄒⠀⠀ ﹙𝑣𝑖𝑒.﹚ as 'dont worry, i will take care of it for you' kind of love. the guy who doesn't let you lift a finger. to him you're the princess that doesnt have to do anything. your every wish and your every desire is a goal for him to accomplish. the beaming happiness on your face when you get what you want is the source of his joy. the feeling of coming home yet discovering new places you never knew of: places filled with more sunny days. your warmth in a cold winter. to him love lies in the willingness to give endlessly, in being connected by actions, in prioritizing you.

"jay, it broke!" before your whine can even bounce off the walls jay is there right behind you, "don't worry princess, i'll fix it, come here sit on my lap," his hands move delicately as he sews the broken butterfly pin holding your blouse together. "you need to be gentle while putting it on okay?" he reminds you softly as his thumb wipes off the tears threatening to spill from your eyes at having almost ruined your favourite outfit. "can we have some ice cream cake later?" you ask closing your eyes at the feeling of his lips leaving a kiss on top of each one, "you have a cold so only a little bit, alright?"

꒰⠀jae⠀⠀⎯⎯ ⠀⠀yun.⠀꒱⠀⠀ 🖇️ 𝄒⠀⠀ ﹙𝑣𝑖𝑒.﹚ as 'i gotta kiss you before you leave' kind of love. the guy who gotta show how much he loves you. your companion in every event from family dinners to office parties sim jaeyun is the man of your life and man of your dreams. if ever you need to go alone, he waits for you, roaming around the area and picking up your favourite food. for him it is absolutely necessary to express his feelings regardless of your surroundings and regardless of the situation. your star in an empty sky. to him love lies in the small moments, in the little kisses and hugs, in the whispers of words.

"jake what are you doing!" the more you try to wiggle out of jake's arms the tighter they get, "don't you think you're forgetting something, my love?" your repeated slaps against his hands are in no vain with the way his lips find the crook of your neck leaving fluttering kisses down to your collarbone. "my goodnight kiss when will i get it?" more than the words spoken you gasp at the way he stops whispering, "we are supposed to be sleeping in different rooms! stop it before my parents find us!" "well it's nothing they don't know, i love their daughter too much."

꒰⠀sung⠀⠀⎯⎯ ⠀⠀hoon.⠀꒱⠀⠀ 🖇️ 𝄒⠀⠀ ﹙𝑣𝑖𝑒.﹚ as 'stay there, i'm coming to get you' kind of love. the guy who is always a call away. be it in the middle of the day or at the break of dawn, if you need him, he's always there. needs to see you safe and healthy to able to breathe in peace. if it so happens that you are hurt, he turns the hospital upside down. it's you and him against the world, let's you know that he'll be the one to stay even if everyone else leaves. your pillar in a pile of debris. to him love lies in being by your side in every situation, in changing your restless into calm, in the compromise and accomodation for another.

"sunghoon? i feel weird," your words slur into the phone and sunghoon immediately knows something's wrong. "angel, what's wrong? i'll be there in five, don't move from the bed okay?" there inside your apartment unit he finds an empty bottle of medicine containing ethanol. "my prey is here!" squealing, you hop off the bed and scurry over to sunghoon, "angel you shouldn't consume drugs so carelessly," he scolds, picking you up when you jump on him. giving in to your puckered lips he leaves a wet kiss before pushing a finger against your forehead. "now lets sleep off the intoxication,"

꒰⠀sun⠀⠀⎯⎯ ⠀⠀woo.⠀꒱⠀⠀ 🖇️ 𝄒⠀⠀ ﹙𝑣𝑖𝑒.﹚ as 'i believe in you, you can do it' kind of love. the guy who inspires you to be the best version of yourself. in his world there is no giving up and there is no going back. teaches you to take a step even when it feels like nothing is going right. helps you focus on the present, nurturing a mind guided by reason and heart. it is important to him that you do what you love and you do it with courage. your strength in a harsh society. to him love lies in the encouragement, in the pushes out of comfort zone, in a cheer amidst a silent crowd.

"sunoo, what if i fail?" your hands tremble as you wait backstage in the conference hall, scared to mess up your first paper presentation. sunoo pulls you into a hug that feels homely, softer than ever, "trust yourself bubs, i know you'll do well. you wanted to do this since forever and you worked so hard for this, remember?" his fingers draw circles on your back and his lips leave a tender kiss on your temple. "even if it's not how you want it to be what matters is you tried. now go on, i'll be waiting." a gentle push, a reminder that he'll be right here to catch you.

꒰⠀jung⠀⠀⎯⎯ ⠀⠀won.⠀꒱⠀⠀ 🖇️ 𝄒⠀⠀ ﹙𝑣𝑖𝑒.﹚ as 'baby, how can i make you feel better?' kind of love. the guy who tells you, you're perfect the way you are. with him you never have to put a mask on, you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not. late night conversations where he reminds you how much you're worth it even if you're ordinary. because to him you'll always be the most special person: his person seen and appreciated in your own essence. your peace in a chaotic world. to him love lies in the fruit of assurance, in the acceptance of affection, in the positivity to feel life in the simple things.

"jungwon, it's snowing!" the excitement is your voice makes jungwon laugh as he runs out after you with your muffler, coat and socks in his hands. "you need to cover up bunny or you'll catch a cold," the pads of his thumb rub against your cheeks, face craddled between his palms after he has you all wrapped up. "sorry," you giggle cozying up in his hold, it makes jungwon's heart summersault a thousand times,"you look so cute, bare faced and warm cheeks all flushed," the thought of how you have let your walls down around him makes him happy beyond anything,"so perfect,"

꒰⠀ri⠀⠀⎯⎯ ⠀⠀ki.⠀꒱⠀⠀ 🖇️ 𝄒⠀⠀ ﹙𝑣𝑖𝑒.﹚ as 'i miss you' before you even say bye kind of love. the guy who can not live away from you for too long. shows you there's magic in everyday that goes by with you, in the sunrise from the balcony of your shared apartment, in the little garden you tend to together. the arrow of cupid struck through two at once: where all your moments hold stories to tell. the proof that time together is time cherished. your glitter in a dull canvas. to him love lies in the sync of hearts, in enjoying and mourning life side by side, in not missing a single moment.

"riki what are you doing here?" you're dumbfounded coming eye to eye with riki at the doorstep of your childhood home "i couldn't go another day without you," he says stepping forward to cup your face in his hands and rubbing the tip of your noses in an eskimo kiss. "let's just spend the weekend here and go back together," his forehead falls against yours eyes closed as he wishpers out how bad your absence felt. "ok, let's do that i missed you too," at that riki leaves a quick peck on your lips grinning widely, "let's make some new memories,"

BESTIEEE

I FINALLY PASSED MY HISTORY EXAM💃💃💃💃

I failed this exam A LOT OMG

BUT guess what...I PASSED IT WITH 100/100

Girl I can't believe it🥹🥹

SAUR how do you think xikers will react to you passing an exam/important test that you were working on for a long time/stressing over a lot?

You can write it whenever you can cuz I think your requests are closed, BUT I CAN WAIT. I want YOUR thoughts because you are the best writer on this app frfr. So take your time

Anyways take care bestie, don't skip your meals, love youu🤍

-🌵 anon<3

• PAIRING — bf!xikers x gn!reader

• GENRE — proud xikerss :DD, slight kissing, almost wrote a whole fic for hunter-

• WORD COUNT — 782

• AUTHOR'S NOTE — sorry this is so late!! And good job on your tests :O

• TAGLIST — @lil-elle , @hyunukitty , @cake1box , @mars101 , @nenede , @soul-is-a-strange-kid , @the-lemon-boy , @yuniniverse

MASTERLIST! – JOIN THE TAGLIST!

MINJAE ☆

Hes not even surprised atp, he knows how smart you are

But boy does he pretend to be shocked, his hand covering his mouth as he takes in another gasp

But his other hand is hiding behind his back

You seem to notice and the only thing he can do is giggle, revealing an neatly folded box

Turns out there was a very pretty necklace inside, minjae spinning you around to put it on you, whispering in your ear how pretty you look and how proud he is ♡

JUNMIN ☆

Makes sure you do nothing for the rest of the week

So what if its monday?? He'll do anything for his precious baby since you worked so hardd

Will make your meals and clean the kitchen, your room, your study area

Even gives you a bath

And he wont stop either, that is, if you want cuddles ♡

SUMIN ☆

Sumin knew how stressed out you'd get with your exams so he prepared you a little smth!!

(And also some tissues)

Finally uncovering your eyes, you find a self portrait of yourself studying

And lemme just say how beautiful you look

The lines sketched with such care and patients, now you know why sumin had been smiling so much lately ♡

JINSIK ☆

I think this calls for pizza!! 🗣🗣‼‼

Also makes sure you do nothing. All you gotta do is just there and look pretty and that was already took no effort

Also a movie night because why not, and you've been meaning to catch up on some movies, also why not??

His arm wrapped your shoulder at all times, and will whine if you try to move around

Plus random cheek kisses, yeah, thats about it ♡

HYUNWOO ☆

Decides to buy tickets last minute and takes you to the fair!!

Lots of hand holding and pda, wiping some off the cinnamon off of your lips caused by your churros

Will attempt to get you those huge teddy bears, but sulks when he cant so you just gotta give him some kisses

Also the ferris wheel!!

Makes sure youre at the tippy top then he processed to tell you how proud his is and how special you mean to him, sealing it with a kiss ♡

JUNGHOON ☆

Yall know junghoon isnt that big on physical affection

But when he hears the news hes a changed man

His eyes shot open and his hands moving faster than his brain, picking you up and spinning you around when he gives you the biggest kiss on your cheek

Wait whaat??

Wdym he did that no he didnt stop being so delusional he didnt kiss your cheek and secretly enjoyed it but not enjoying your teasings rn shut up 🙄 ♡

SEEUN ☆

"Really?! I thought you failed!!"

His response earned him a huge punch

But hes only joking, ruffling your hair before dialing his phone, calling everyone and their mom to tell the news

Man does more than just spill the tea, he makes it from scratch

Hes overally dramatic when he tells your adventure, saying how you had to cross 7 seas just to find the right answer.. but you love him anyways 🤷‍♀️ ♡

YUJUN ☆

Hes wants to hear all about it, so spill the tea 😠😠

Another one to think you taking a test was so dramatic, having to slay a dragon just to get the right answer to a question

And boy is he listening!! (He listens to you more than minjae)

He'd be so awestruck when youre done, his jaw lefted open and hes looking at you with sparkly eyes

Hes so proud of you too :(( ♡

HUNTER ☆

Also think hes like minjae with the gift giving, pulling out this beautiful bracelet he bought months ahead of time because he knew you'd do well

But unlike minjae, he takes you out to dinner!!

Yes, a big, fancy dinner. And hes paying for it all by himself <3

Hunters prince agenda omgomg

No bc he'd drop down on his knees to kiss the back of your hand, making sure to look up at you in the process, opens every. Since. Door in sight and also pushes you into your chair. Andd he also leans against the table to wipe something off the corner of your lips, giggling to himself bc youre just so adorable. i could write a whole fic honestly... ♡

YECHAN ☆

You passed your exam? Give him a hug

You got an A?? Give him a hug

You thought you were going to fail? Frowns at you, before hugging you tightly

Spends the rest of the day giving you so much love, youre only allowed to be in his arms

And is the boy so soft??? The most gentle hes ever been ♡

you still sleep with plushies ♡

author’s note. as a person who’s still sleeping w plushies !! it’s totally normal !! and i just thought its a cute idea to write a reaction like that so here u go ^_^ maybe i’ll do other unit versions,, we’ll see!!

warnings. jihoon’s is a liiiiiil suggestive if you think about it …

┆彡 JEONGHAN [ 정한 ]

this mf…

like ofc he noticed the plushies on your bed while he visited you

but he thought it’s just a decoration!!

and once you invited him to sleep over

which was supposed to be super cute and relaxing, just the two of you

so all snuggled and watching a movie in your bed, he noticed you were clutching to a plushie of a dog

he frowned and noticed the plushies are all over the bed

"angel, do you sleep with all of those? isn’t jr too cramped?" he teased, grabbing a random one and poking its eye

when he was met with silence, he noticed the pout on your lips :(

and he immediately feels guilty, especially when you clutched the dog even closer

"i was just asking because you know… i don’t want to kick them from the bed in my sleep" jeonghan tried to save himself and it kind of worked

"if that’s a problem i can…" you started and he couldn’t bear it anymore <\\3

“no, no. i’m sorry, i just… im not used to this” he cupped your face, pecking your pout "it’s not a problem. it’s… quite cute"

it takes him a while to get used to all the plushies staring at him lol (and sometimes getting tangled in the sheets between you, him and your limbs)

but he finds it really adorable :”)

┆彡 JOSHUA [ 조슈아 ]

joshua entered your bedroom when you asked him to bring a hoodie from there

and he stood there, like a deer caught in the headlights

(haha,, deer… get it?? because he’s… yeah, i’ll shut up)

you were concerned why he’s taking so long and when you saw him peek at the plushies curiously, you gasped

"um, yeah… i still sleep with those…" you mumbled and were met with his ^▽^ smile

"this is so adorable, why didn’t you tell me earlier?” he asked and noticed a deer plushie

when you murmur that you were just shy, he hugs you and places kisses on your face while giggling

you’re seriously the most precious human that he’s ever met :(

and honestly he only fuels your cute habit by buying you more and more plushies

and he just loves when you send him pics of them chilling with you in your bed

or when he cuddles with you and all the cute plush animals surround him hehe

it’s like a new life mission for him,, to buy you all the plushies in the world :”)

especially the deer ones hehe so they can remind you of him <3

┆彡 JIHOON [ 지훈 ]

you usually hid your plushies when your boyfriend came over,, for the time being you wanted him to think you’re normal lmao

but one day after a date you went to your place

and when you entered your place, jihoon’s lips were immediately on yours.. not even giving you a second to breathe…. messily making out……. the plushies were the last thing you wanted to think about

so when he led you to the bedroom, placing small love bites on your neck;;; you froze

jihoon panicked that he did something wrong but then he saw your face getting red while looking at something

plushies

and then you saw him smile brightly, erupting into giggles

"just when i thought you couldn’t get any more cuter” he snickered "why i never saw them before?"

so you explained everything and he was just <\\3

he doesn’t really mind it, only when you prefer to cuddle them instead of him >:T

or will randomly punch them.

and steal.

he’ll steal some plushies to put in his studio,, so they can remind him of you :((

and that he can cuddle something that smells like you when he’s taking a nap there :((

(obviously he’d rather die than admit it)

┆彡 SEOKMIN [ 석민 ]

actually it’s the first thing he notices when he enters your room for the first time ㅠㅠ

you see his shocked expression and feel the rush of embarrassment hit your face

"i, uh… those are–" you started but he walked up to your bed and picked up a fluffy, white cat plushie

"so adorable! and there’s so many of them, woah y/nnie!" he cooed and looked at you, eyes wide "can i touch…?"

and his hearts melt when he sees your face lit up, a visible relief washing over your expression while you nod vigorously

"wait, i can even tell you their names" you grin and he’s so soft like,, moments from melting and turning into a puddle on the floor :((

so for the next hour you introduce every plushie and their names and backstory!!

and he treats them so gently, almost as if they were made out of the finest china <\3

will absolutely love to sleep w you in his arms, alongside the plushies that he knows how much they mean to you

and you allowing him to cuddle w them too is also something that makes seokmin fall for you even more (if that was even possible)

┆彡 SEUNGKWAN [ 승관 ]

kwannie and you usually did sleepovers at his place but once he asked if you can do one at yours

he saw you tense up a bit and got concerned that maybe he pushed some boundaries

”sure but… um, i sleep with plushies…” you mumbled

seungkwan blinked once. twice.

“okay, so?” he frowned like it was (because it is) the most normal thing ever

and he could see how happy n relieved you got ^_^

he needs to get used to it lmao like,, so. many. stuffed. animals.

he listens as you explain where u got each of them and their names

"and i bought this one because it reminded me of you. i named it booboo" you grinned and showed him an orange plushie with a happy face on it

he swore he could just melt down in this moment, right here right now

but oh my god. gets SO offended when you cuddle booboo to sleep instead of him >:(

“eh, that just sucks” he throws a tantrum and turns his back to you, pouting

but then you put the orange plushie into his arms and wrap your hands around his waist, cuddling him like he was the plushie itself

and atp he doesn’t even care that it makes him the small spoon, he loves the proximity <3

masterlist <3

taglist. @mirxzii ,, @primoppang ,, @l3visbby ,, @nicholasluvbot ,, @planetkiimchi ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @slytherinshua ,, @kazmura ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @dazzlingligth

seungkwan thanking moonbin for always loving svt...scoups joining them for the daesang...woozi mentioning how he's been making music for svt for a decade and he finds joy in how carats repay them with achievements like this...wonwoo saying "thanks to carats i have one more thing to brag about to my mom"...these 13 gentlemen truly deserve so much love and happiness and im glad that they're getting not only that but above it all they always, always, have each other and their relationship just gets better with time and perhaps im emotional asf