Written In The Pages (RM) CH8

Written in the Pages (RM) CH8

"That's a terrible idea, Namjoon" Jin snarks.

"I thought a serenade sounded sweet.." Hoseok said.

"He's talked to her like,, twice??? And your plan is to follow her home? Bad idea."

"Yeah, Jin's right." Yoongi adds.

Jimin pipes up, "What if you wrote her a card?"

I think for a moment, "Isn't that too... obvious?"

"What's wrong with obvious?" He asks, "It can't be worse than stalking her and singing her four lines in the middle of her house, can it?"

I sigh, "what would I even write in a card?"

"Something like Oh Y/N~ I'm so in love with you! Every night when I go to bed I dream of kissing you-"

"sHUT UP!" I groan as I cover my face.

~

𝄆 Y/N POV 𝄇

Falling in love is like picking flower petals. He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not. One day I think he likes me, the next I'm sure he doesn't.

Love is a beautiful thing, but sometimes it can be so hard. Does he like me? Why else would he go to all this effort for me? But at the same time, why would he want me when he could have anyone?

I might love him, but sometimes I just feel so insecure at the thought of him.

I think back to when me and Namjoon last talked. He had tried to talk to me, explaining that he did care. But I had jumped to conclusions and let my insecurities get the best of me. Was I the reason he wasn't talking to me? He must be giving me space because he thinks I'm mad at him.

I grab my phone and open it up to instagram. Messaging him, I write:

"Hey Namjoon. I'm sorry I didn't let you finish what you were saying last time... I guess I just got caught up in my anger. It wasn't fair to you"

After a while, I see three little dots.

𝄆 NAMJOON POV 𝄇

I typed out a message to her:

Me: Wait, so you're not mad at me?

Y/N: Of course I'm not mad at you! I thought you were mad at me..

Y/N: I... overheard these girls saying that you were just hanging out with me as a joke.. I know you would never do something like that! I just....

Y/N: I just started to feel like I wasn't good enough for your friend group

Me: Don't listen to them. We decide whose good enough for us, not them. I'm sorry they made you feel that way.

Y/N: Can I ask you something?

Me: Anything

Y/N: Just out of curiosity, what type of person would you date?

I pause. Do I tell her? Do I tell her what I've tried to tell her multiple times now?

No. I can't tell her over instagram DMs. When I tell her how I feel, I want it to be special.

Me: Someone smart, funny, pretty,

Someone like you.

Me: What about you? What type of guy would you date?

Y/N: I don't know haha. I haven't really thought about it.

Me: Would you consider... someone like me?

Y/N: ...maybe

Y/N: would you consider someone like me?

My thumb starts to type 'yes', but right as I'm about to press send my screen turns black.

"Shoot! My phone died!"

I'm not having another misunderstanding. Our conversations keep getting interrupted. If I can't send her the text, then I'm just going to have to tell her in person.

Tomorrow I will tell Y/N how I feel.

~

I rush into school. It's 8:00am still, plenty of time before class starts. I walk into the classroom to find Y/N sitting at her desk, a book open on her table.

"Y/N" I call out.

She glances up at me, worry painting her face.

"Y/N. I need to tell you something"

The classroom is empty, as class doesn't start for another half hour. Yellow sunlight paints the desks, slowly tilting as the sun continues to rise. The light brushes over her hair, highlighting a few strands that excitedly bounce up as she lifts her head.

"What is it?"

"I-I.." I stutter, "I need to talk to you"

She bites her bottom lip, looking down, "Is it about our conversation last night? Listen, I'm really sorry about-"

"No. It's, It's about... how I feel about you"

After a pause she bursts into laughter, "about the ideal type thing? It's okay if you don't feel that way about-"

"No!"

"Stop interrupting me!" She jokes, "it's okay if I'm not your type."

"No, what I meant was that you are my type! That's what I was trying to say before... my phone died."

She gives me a deadpan look, "your phone died?"

"It did! But that's why I've decided that I'm tired of being interrupted. I need to tell you that-"

"Namjoon! How's it going!" Jin yells as he opens the classroom door.

"NO!" I shout back at him. I then turn to Y/N, "I need to tell you that I like you. I have feelings for you. That's why I keep talking to you, why I always want to have lunch with you, why I got so angry at what those people said about you, because I like you. And I want us to be more than friends. And I understand if you don't feel the same but I just needed you to know that"

She looks up at me with shocked eyes. Did I yell all of that too? She closes her book and breaks eye contact, looking out the window at students walking in to school. Jin has a wide-eyed look on his face as well, probably surprised at my sudden outburst.

"You... like me?"

"Oh yeah. He's had the biggest crush on you since last year. He's spent the last week trying to tell you, it's really kind of-"

"Jin! Shush!" I whisper-yell.

Her small smile turns to a big grin, "you've liked me since last year?"

I rub the back of my neck, "well... yeah"

She jumps up from her desk like she's about to hug me, then stops and fiddles with her fingers, "I... I like you too!"

"Really?!" I smile too, "I.. That's, can I hug you?"

She smiles and nods. I pull her into me, resting my arms on her shoulders.

"Ew, get a room you too" Jin groans.

I pull away from Y/N, "we had a room until you showed up."

He just laughs and walks away, leaving his bag at his seat. Me and Y/N smile at each other. We stay in silence until class starts, only interrupted by our awkward giggles.

Feel free to request ideas for oneshots/drabbles/reactions/scenarios!

I might not write all of them but I will try my best! Remember that this blog is SFW and so I will not be including any mature content. Other than that it's cool!

:)

Seeds of Hope (JHOPE) CH6 - A Traced Reflection

As I wake up, I reach for my phone to text Hoseok. Except I don't find it on my nightstand where I left it last night.

Opening my eyes as I sit up in bed, I find myself in a completely different room. This isn't my bedroom...

I find a phone on a desk. Walking to the far side of the room, I pick it up and open the recent texts:

April 8, 4:35 pm Namjoon: Hey this is Namjoon from the cafe! Now you have my number too!

Me: Ah! Thank you :) were you able to finish the song you were writing?

Namjoon: Well, there's still quite a bit of work to be done on it, but I showed it to some higher-ups and they loved it!

Me: That's great! I'm happy for you :>

Namjoon: yeah... hey, are you open to meeting again? Maybe at the same cafe?

Me: Without spilling my latte on you? That'd be lovely.

Namjoon: Great! Does this Saturday sound good?

Me: Yep! See you then!

-

Namjoon? Cafe? Yesterday I was having dinner with Hoseok and my mom... what happened? Where am I now?

Frantically I run out into the hall, a studio apartment awaiting me. It was nice, but it wasn't mine. I walk towards the calendar.

April 4 - meeting with board directors April 7 - Final Project Due!!! April 9 - Dinner w/ mom April 12 - Date with Namjoon!!!

Hearts were drawn all around April 12. Was today Friday? Was today the day of the date? Or another day?

I run back into the room to grab the phone. Unlocking it, I notice the date. April 12, Saturday. I run my hands through my hair in panic, trying to form a game plan as a new message pops up:

Today, 8:53 am Namjoon: We're still on for later, right?

Shoot. That's today. Cleary I was very excited to meet this man, and he seems kind, but how do I tell him I have no idea who he is? Much less who I am!

I scramble into the bathroom. In the mirror I find the same face I've always had. At least some things stayed the same. Bringing my hand to my face, I notice faint markings on it. Looking closer, I discover that it's the same number Hoseok had previously written there. As it was in permanent ink, it was going to take a while to wash off.

I start cleaning up the lines with a new pen to ensure I have it in case I wake up in another new universe. After that, I go back to the phone.

To Hoseok's phone, I send a quick message:

Me: Hello! Is this Hoseok?

Going back to Namjoon's chat I face a harder situation:

Today, 8:53 am Namjoon: We're still on for later, right?

Me: The date later?

Within seconds, he responds:

Namjoon: Yeah, it's Saturday? Did you forget ㅠㅠ

Me: Well.., I did forget, but would you believe me if I said I forgot everything else too?

Namjoon: What do you mean? You forgot you're identity haha

Me: Kinda...

Namjoon: Don't tell me you're serious?

Me: I woke up this morning and didn't know anything about this world! Who I am, where I was, who you are!

Namjoon: ..this world? Namjoon: what was the last thing you remember?

Me: being at my house with my parents last night and my friend...

Namjoon: okay, do you have anything to prove it? Maybe any of their phone numbers so you can ask? Maybe you just got a small concussion and they can tell you what happened..

Me: I have one of their phone numbers, I already reached out to him. But it was real! My memories, my life, I'm sure this girl is nice but she is not me!

Namjoon: okay... relax. We'll figure this out together. Can you meet up a little earlier? I can give you directions

Me: yes!

-

Looking around the bustling cafe, I tried to find the face of the man I'd never seen.

"Stacy! Over here!" A voice called.

I looked over to find him. He was tall, very handsome. He seemed way too good for me. Somewhere I felt like I'd seen him before, but maybe it's just a head injury. Clearly I'm not thinking clearly.

He walks up to me, "Ah, I guess you wouldn't know. I'm Namjoon, nice to meet you"

I shake his hand, "did she look like me? How did you know?"

"I've been thinking of your face since we last spoke" he smiled.

I just stared up at him.

"Er-,.. I guess that's a weird thing to say, considering...."

"It's okay, Namjoon. I'm sorry, you do seem really nice. I think I must've really liked you"

He spoke, "well, maybe you still can"

He noticed you bite your bottom lip, looking down.

"I know, it's just," I gulped, "I don't want to lose everyone I've ever known"

-

The two of us sat down at a table after ordering our drinks. We discussed simple things. He was easy to converse with.

"So, you said you had a friend that you'd messaged?" He asked.

I flipped my hand to show him the writing on my palm, "yeah, he had written his number down a week or so ago. Luckily I could copy it while it was still visible"

"What was his name?"

"Hoseok"

"Oh... his name wasn't Jung Hoseok, was it?"

"Yeah, it was! Yeah, he was a trainee for a K-POP group? Also with two other guys, Jimin and Taehyung"

He stares at me, his mouth wide open.

"What?"

"Was their group's name BTS?"

I think back to when I saw them practicing, back when I first met them, "hmm, I'm not sure. I don't think I ever got the name of his group"

He pulls out his phone and starts typing, "I'm telling Hoseok to come over right now, this is crazy"

"What? You have Hoseok's number too?"

"Yeah? I'm in his band? Of course I have his number."

Namjoon quickly texts back the friend. And yet, Hoseok still hasn't responded to me. He sets down his phone.

"So, Stacy, how do you feel about going on a little trip?"

Seeds of Hope (JHOPE) CH5 - Your Numbers

(Stacy POV) Dinner was awkward, to say the least. My moms seated me next to Hoseok at the small table. Every now and then when one of us would reach for something, our arms would brush against each other. Leading to my mom and eomma giggling at us.

They asked him questions, mostly about where he's from and why he started dancing. I wasn't listening to most of it. I was distracted with fretting about my midterm tomorrow.

Eventually we finished dinner, and as the final plates are picked up, I lead him to the door.

"I hope you do well on your test tomorrow!" He leans against the doorframe, "It was fun tonight; having other people to talk to and eat with. Felt kinda like home"

I smile, "Yeah. Thank you for helping me with my dancing, by the way! I never would've been able to do this without you. You're a life saver"

"Maybe next ti-" He's interrupted by my Eomma, yelling to us from the kitchen.

"You should get his phone number, Stacy! In case you need help again"

I start to blush, hiding my face in my hands.

He laughs, "here. Give me your hand"

I pull my shaky hands away from my face. Immediately they're engulfed by his warm hands, gently writing out his phone number on my palm.

"Call me if you need help again. Or if you just wanna chat" He pulls his hands away. Without another word, he is gone. Back to his apartment.

In reality, he's only next door. The thumping of my heart pulls me towards him, but my brain forces me back a million miles away.

"He was cute, Stacy. Do you know if he's single?"

"Eomma!" I shout, "Stop being so blunt with everything! Gosh, this is so embarrassing.."

✿

Things were going well. I finished my midterm for dance and surprisingly got an 87%. I began talking to others in my dance class. I made friends with two of them, Taehyung and Jimin, who apparently were in the same group as Hoseok.

They told me funny memories about the band and I told them about America. We got along really nicely. It was pleasant to have someone to sit with at lunch.

It had been around a week since I'd spoken to him. Getting home, my mind wandered back to our conversations. Eyes lingering a little too long on Hoseok's door, I miss the part where it opens.

"Oh, hey Stacy" He greets.

I don't miss the sorrowful glint in his eyes. He seems sad, or nervous, or maybe just tired. I pretend to not see it, "I got an 87% on my dance test a few days back! My teacher even complimented me, saying I did well. Thank you again for helping me!"

For the first time, I see him smile.

"That's great! I knew you'd do well. I know you don't love dancing, but you do have good rhythm"

"Thank you, but really it's all thanks to you" I said.

"Um, so I asked some of my friends in my group and they are actually in one of your classes! Do you know Jimin and Taehyung?" He asks.

"Yeah! We're good friends now, surprisingly" I laugh.

"Oh" He responded, "That's great."

Again I see that darker look in his eyes. I finally remember.

"I'm sorry I didn't text you, Hoseok" I mumble.

"Hm? Oh.... It's fine. I didn't notice"

He didn't notice? I fumble with the keys on my lanyard. He is pretty friendly, he most likely has a ton of friends. He probably isn't waiting on my calls. Still, he seems unwell. I try one last time:

"I did save it on my phone though! I just forgot to actually send the text." I fake a laugh, "You're always welcome to dinner, though. My moms definitely love you."

I continued, "I know, I know it sucks to be alone all the time. This is actually the first time in a while that I've had friends"

He glances up, dark eyes meeting mine. For a second, it feels like we've known each other for years and this is just a moment like any other. It feels like for the first time, I see a layer of him past the happy smile. I see him.

"Yeah, sorry..." He brings his hand to rest on the back of his neck, "I just, it's hard living on my own all the time. I kinda feel like I don't know anyone. Like maybe.... No one really knows me"

"That makes two of us" I said.

"Really?"

"It's not like I had many friends back home, and moving to South Korea?" I snicker, "Sure, I know some Korean, but I haven't made any friends at that school. Everyone there is so.. So artsy and cool and I just-, I'm just kinda basic I guess"

"You aren't basic" He smiled. I smiled back.

"Let's be each other's friends?" He suggested.

"Only if you'll have dinner with us tonight"

NEW CHAPTER OF 'JUST PRETEND' COMING MARCH 27

Just Pretend (BEOMGYU) CH6 - Another Faded Polaroid

*NOTE: THIS STORY IS NOT REPRESENTATIVE OF THE MEMBERS IN REAL LIFE, IT IS PARTLY BASED ON THE CONTENT FROM THE MUSIC VIDEOS AND COMPLETELY FICTIONAL!! They're not actually mean it's just for the story 😭

(BEOMGYU POV)

It's lunch break, and I walk behind my friends on the sidewalk. I force a laugh and smile whenever they turn to me, but for the most part, I'm in my own world right now. I enjoy talking to Y/N, it's the only time I can talk about myself without judgement. My friends... I haven't tried talking to them about it. I have a feeling they wouldn't know what it's like to walk into a room and know everyone, and yet not a single seat has been saved for you.

As for my father, he always seems angry at me. I think he thinks I'm on the wrong track, and forcing me to think 'practically' is helping me so I don't regret my choices later. I just wish he had more faith in me, so he wouldn't assume that my choices are ones I'd come to regret.

I don't know Y/N that well. I don't know why she asked me to be her date to prom, she could've asked anyone. Maybe she figured I wasn't going with anyone else, which starts my racing thoughts. Worries of can everyone else see my insecurities? Is it obvious? Can everybody tell that I don't know what the hell I'm doing? I don't know.

And I do feel sometimes like I shouldn't be so honest with her. But, every time I turn to her, she always seems like she's listening to every word I say.

And right now, I just need someone to talk to.

"Beomgyu, you listening?"

"Huh?" I lift my head.

"So, I wanna give you another chance. I haven't told Minji yet, so you can still go out with her friend!"

I stumble over my words, "I-, I thought I said I wasn't interested"

Yeonjun laughs, "well, yeah, but that's just cause Y/N was there. It's nice of you to try to spare her feelings, but she's holdin' you back, bro"

"It had nothing to do with her. I just don't have time for something like that.. right now" I stammer.

"C'mon man, we all know she has a crush on you"

My face flushes, "why would you even SAY that? Y/N just-"

"You can be so oblivious," Yeonjun sighs, "Y/N is WAY obsessed with you. But don't miss out on something good because you're pitying her"

I grit my teeth, "I'm not pitying her. And I don't want to date your friend. I already told you"

Under my breath, I mutter, "sometimes, I don't even want to be your friend"

My friends stop as Yeonjun takes a firm step towards me, "what did you say to me?"

Suddenly, I no longer feel like the lost boy who stuck with friends who were no good for him because he was lonely. A rush of confidence takes over as I smirk, "Yeonjun, I'm starting to think you have a listening problem.

Or is it just your ego?"

He strides towards me, "what makes you think you can talk back to me? You think you're so cool now that one girl looks your way?"

"You always walk all over me like I'll come running back. Like you're better than me. What makes you think you can talk back to me?" I mock, "last I checked, this is just how you and me talk to each other now, Yeonjun"

He pushes me down to the sidewalk, "c'mon guys. Let's go"

And they follow behind him. Just like I knew they would. I look at the scrapes on my hands, then to their backs as they walk away.

Well, I knew this was going to happen eventually, right?

-----

(2 Days Later)

It's been a while since I've been to school. I didn't want to have to face Yeonjun. Or the others. I wanted them to think I was strong, and that their words couldn't hurt me. I felt like... if they saw me cry, they'd use it against me. In the moment, I felt like none of it hurt. Like it was the end of an era of pain and bottled-up feelings and tolerating it because it was all I had. They were all I had.

It was more than any one moment could capture, it was the culmination of many moments that I told myself weren't worth fighting over. Times when I'd get talked over. Times when I wasn't invited, and they'd come up with some excuse as to why. When there was a separate group chat. When I wasn't there for the inside jokes that, apparently, can't be retold. But it wasn't always this way.

Me and Yeonjun had been friends for years, way before the rest came along. We would spend so long just talking. I felt like he got me better than anyone else could. Then the rest came. It wasn't all at once, but slowly, more and more people were added to our friend group. I no longer felt like I was Yeonjun's best friend, even though he was mine.

Up until a few days ago, he still was.

He didn't use to care so much about what other people thought of him. Something changed. He wanted to be cool, he wanted respect, he wanted to get the girl he'd been chasing for years. And I was just someone from his past. Another faded polaroid. And he never wanted to take a new one.

So, I tried to make new friends. Tried to talk to others, break into the conversation. It seemed like having friends that treated me poorly was still better than being all on my own.

I went back to them. I accepted that I'd be walking in the bike lanes while they stayed on the sidewalk. I learned how to look busy when they were telling a joke I wasn't there for. I learned to be less so they could be more. So they could take more. Because on the outside, no one can tell that I don't have friends. No one can tell that inside, I'm still on the outside. And I thought that could be enough. It would have to be.

I haven't told her, but I noticed Y/N from the beginning. It was all so familiar. The panicked glances at the announcement of a group project, the seat in the back of the room, the headphones that weren't plugged into anything. Maybe that's why I felt so comfortable talking to her, it was like I already knew her.

I hope my friends-, er... I hope my old friends didn't notice that my hands were still shaking as I talked back to them. I wanted them to think I was indifferent about it all, I wanted them to think that. But... I'm not strong. Once they'd fled, I cried my eyes out. Because even if it was for the best, it still hurts. So I haven't been to school in days because I don't know how I will act when I see them again.

———

For the first time today, I pull myself out of bed and walk into the kitchen. I reach for a glass and fill it with water. Then my dad walks in.

He clears his throat, "are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah" I mutter.

He walks to the stove and begins cooking something.

"I heard you were having some trouble with your friends"

"Who told you that?" I ask.

"Your mom" he clarifies.

"Oh" I said.

I sit at the counter and slowly drink my water. It's silent, besides the sounds of him cooking. However, it isn't tense like it has been in the past. Just a normal father and his son.

He breaks the silence, "Y'know, I get how you feel"

"You do?"

"I've had fights with friends before too. It's hard when you had people you could be yourself around, and then you have to walk past them like strangers" he continues, "did you fight, or just fall out of touch?"

"Well, Yeonjun's not the same anymore. He used to be so fun, but... now he's just weird and obsessed with being cool. I was getting annoyed at him walking all over me, so I told him that. And..."

"Yeah. 'S probably because he's insecure, lots of teens act that way" he turns down the heat on the stove, "but you shouldn't be around people that are bringing you down"

"Mhm" I stare into the glass.

It's not common for me to go to my dad for advice, but I'm finding that he does actually know how I feel pretty well.

"Hey dad?"

"Yeah?" He answers while turning to me.

"Will... will I ever make real friends?"

He ponders on it for a moment, "it's hard when you're young. I think as you get older, you'll meet new people and it's easier to find friends that you actually have fun with"

Then, I think of Y/N. She always listens to me, and she's funny and kind, and when I talk to her I never feel like I'm putting up an act.

"How do you get closer to someone that you're only kinda friends with?"

"Hmm, that's a hard question," my dad answers, "ask them questions. Get to know them. People like talking about themselves." He finishes the food he's cooking and grabs a bowl from the cabinet to put it in, "just be open to people. Don't close yourself off. Let people get to know you, and you'll find people that like you. People that you can be yourself around"

He passes the bowl to me, "I made you some soup"

I look down at the steam rising from the soup, "thank you, dad"

He nods and walks out of the kitchen. Just before he leaves, he says, "I hope you feel better soon"

I smile, "thanks dad"