Thinking About What Makes Humans Special And Im Kind Of In Love With The Idea Of A Sci-fi Universe Where

thinking about what makes humans special and I’m kind of in love with the idea of a sci-fi universe where humans are the first and only species that invented FTL because we just Would Not Fucking Give Up on it. all these other interstellar civilizations are thousands of years older than we are and most have megastructures and immortality and plasma weapons and crazy advanced supercomputers. but they all resigned themselves to the fact that FTL is impossible, and nearly shat themselves when these primitive backwater super-monkeys showed up in their systems by dropping out of warp drive.

“How did you do that?” they ask, with their effortless and flawless auto-translators that are centuries from anything we could achieve.

“Do what?” we reply, eyeing the oxygen meter because we still haven’t quite perfected atmospheric recycling.

“What do you mean, ‘do what?’” they press, incredulous. “Your spacecraft just crossed an interplanetary distance in minutes!”

“Oh, the Alcubierre drive? Pretty simple, we just tricked the quantum vacuum into giving off a controlled negative energy density to create a localized bubble of warped spacetime that amplifies apparent velocity. Still working on the power efficiency though, it’s real basic and eats up so much fusion fuel.”

“You did WHAT to spacetime?? With a fusion reactor?! What about relativity?!”

“Yeah it turns out Einstein was a little wrong and the universe can be treated as a single reference frame, because knowing takes precedence over observing... Hang on, how do you guys with your Dyson spheres and antimatter engines not have faster-than-light drives?”

“HOW DO YOU FUSION DRIVE SIMPLETONS HAVE THEM?! We tried for centuries and gave up on it!”

“Oh yeah it took a while but we just kept trying.”

“Why?”

“Hubris and general cosmic spite, mostly.”

I should also point out that humans are incredibly resistant to impact damage and able to naturally heal from injuries that would kill most other mammals, broken limbs in particular. part of this is, of course, because of our elevated sense of community, which drives us to care for other humans (and organisms in general) that can’t care for themselves, but the other part of it is just that we’re freakishly good at fixing ourselves.

Human vs Animals

Fuck it

Coelacanth Friday

i cannot stress the importance of letting yourself be autistic

not just the good parts, not the parts that are met with an “aw, that’s a good autistic trait, so it’s ok!”

no. fuck that. you’re autistic, and as long as you’re not hurting anyone (including yourself), do whatever the fuck you need to in order to have your needs met and feel comfortable. 

it sounds harsh, but sometimes it needs to be: fuck other peoples’ feelings. they are not the top priority in your life, you are.

the only surgery I’ve ever had (so far, fingers crossed) was for my wisdom teeth. the surgeon seemed rushed when he put the needle in and as it was starting to take effect, I guess to just keep me preoccupied, he asked me off-handed “what’d you have for breakfast?”

well that was a trick question, since of course you’re not supposed to eat anything for like 8 hours prior to surgery in case you vomit while you’re under because it would block your airway. naturally I hadn’t had anything myself.

however, I decided to be a smartass and gargle “you’re about to meet it” in response right before dry heaving and then blacking out.

Fuck it

Coelacanth Friday