Me: *shaving*

me: *shaving*

small cut: *bleeds*

me: this is it this is how i die

Here we see Paul Rudd using his mystic powers to levitate the confusing object known as a "basket ball"

Weird Stuff I've Heard in Orchestra #3

~Our director has just drawn a map of the US from memory~ "That's only 49, we're missing one." "Which one are we missing?" "Someone pull up a map." "UTAH! We're missing Utah!" *chorus of: Oooh...*

Me: I don't have the energy for this

Someone: For what?

Me: *gestures vaguely*

If a mermaid were to lay eggs, and a centaur were to fertilize them, would the offspring be half fish/half horse or....??

do you agree

reblog if you agree