Originally Scrapped This But Its Still A Little Funny, So Here. Tag Yourself Im From The Arts Dep

originally scrapped this but it’s still a little funny, so here. tag yourself im from the arts dep

as much as the concept of Jesus being a fairly normal lad has its charms, im personally very intrigued by the idea of him being just… extremely weird. not even in a mystical sense, just…….staggeringly BIZZARRE. 

you go to the well to get some water, and here’s Miriam’s boy, staring at the sky, completely still. his expression is unreadable. you hazard a hello and ask how he’s doing, and he slowly, unblinkingly, lowers his gaze on you (he’s 8 and is missing his frontal teeth, not that this is making you any less uncomfortable) and says “I cannot speak of the state of my being, Nathan son of Saul, my brother, but rejoice for the water you shall take today will be as pure as the soul of the children of Heaven”

…you start sweating

Blond people (2)

The second time that he hated blond people was when he discovered that Germania was his father. He had just been captured by Rome. He had just seen his mother bleed to death.

He was sitting in one of the cells of the coliseum when he saw him. With a blond hair just like his. And he knew, he didn't had to ask, he didn't had to think for long. And then he hated him, he hated him with more passion that he had ever hated anyone, even himself. And he blamed him, he blamed everything that had happened on him. He blamed on him that his brothers didn't love him. He blamed on him that he could never have a family. He blamed on him that his mother was dead. He blamed on him that Rome had captured him. He blamed on him everything that happened and that didn't. And then he hated him even more.

Blond people

The first time that England hated blond people was also the first time that he hated himself. He was running, trying to catch his brothers and he wondered "is this the meaning of family?" "helplessly trying to be loved?". He got his answer hours later when they try to drown him for the first time. That is when he saw it. His reflection on the river. He saw his green eyes, his pale skin and his blond hair. He saw everything that he wasn't and everything that he should be. And then he hated himself. And then he blamed himself. He blamed on himself that his brothers didn't love him, he blamed on himself that he could never have a family, he blamed on himself that his mother always looked at him pity. And then he hated his brothers. And then hated what it meant to live.

me: okay time to go to slee-

my brain: in the sign of the four, holmes professes decisively that he will never marry, lest it clouds his judgment, nor will he ever love. in later stories, however, we see him saying things like "should i ever marry" or "should i ever have a son". he seems to have become quietly more open to the possibility of love ever since his relationship with watson flourished because watson makes holmes believe in love

me, crying: fuck you

the only acceptable post-s10 continuation of the show without steve would have been a danny-centric sitcom spin-off in which he’s navigating life as a retired single dad while steve is away. steve never comes on screen, but danny is constantly on the phone with him for half of every episode, and while we don’t /hear/ steve, danny does enough indignant repeating of whatever steve just said that we can always follow their conversations perfectly. one episode is about a school camping trip charlie goes on that steve promised he’d join as a parent, so now danny has to sub for him and he’s very mad about it because camping, steve, camping. one entire episode is just about danny learning to fake steve’s signature because technically steve is still the head of five-0 because he never officially retired before he took off, so now the team needs his name on some paperwork and they plead with danny to do it because he knows steve best. (turns out the paperwork that danny thought was super important was to get an espresso machine in the office.) one episode is about danny wanting to have a quiet day to himself and read a book, but steve keeps frantically calling and texting him because steve is at chin’s place and is trying to make a pavlova but has no idea what he’s doing and needs baking tips. all of the other cast (lou, tani, junior, quinn, lincoln, adam) are still on the show, and in every single episode you see them running around in the background of wherever danny is, doing their five-0 jobs, but completely out of context because we have no clue what their actual case of the week is. they’re usually seen in the middle of dismantling a bomb or arresting an international diamond smuggler or ducking to avoid getting hit by bullets while danny is in the foreground, ignoring the possibly literal fire behind him because he’s busy buying malasadas while attempting to get steve to tell him why they suddenly can’t facechat anymore (the answer, as it turns out at the end of that episode, is that steve accidentally died his own hair orange). 

i know i talk about this at least once a week but… holmes/watson has so much more potential than johnlock. johnlock is like insults and belittling and condescendingness 99% of the time and kindness and sweetness and tenderness the other 1%. nineteenth-century romance between a brave and kind doctor and a brave, kind coked-up detective on the other hand?? imagine. the language. the gestures. something like (and i’m just spitballing here) “in the soul i fear i have neglected, the mind i cherish above all my other qualities, and the heart i did not know i had before you graced my life with your presence, you may believe me to be, my darling, very sincerely yours, for as long as we both do live”. where are you going to find shit like that if not in the 1800s??? i like bbc sherlock i really do but it needs to get off its high horse akljfkfa