Rewatching Banana Fish And Realising That When Ash Goes Back To Cape Cod He Has To Deal With The Memories

rewatching banana fish and realising that when Ash goes back to Cape Cod he has to deal with the memories of his dead older brother, who essentially raised him, on top of everything else. I wonder if he went into griff’s room when everyone else was gone or if he couldn’t bring himself to do it and stood at the threshold before turning and shutting the door. I wonder if he looked at the empty house and saw griff’s silhouette in the kitchen, heard his steps on the stairs. It’s not talked about enough, but Ash was grieving. He probably couldn’t sleep under the same roof he used to share with his brother, he was probably laying awake wishing he’d gotten to say goodbye properly. Of course he wouldn’t show how badly the grief was getting to him, instead he wakes up at the crack of dawn and finds a distraction in the sound of ringing gunshots and breaking glass bottles, and he misses and he misses and he shouldn’t be because he doesn’t have that luxury. He doesn’t have the luxury of grief.