Send-help-oof - Sometimes, I Wonder How I Ended Up Here

If you call pedophilia a kink please unfollow me and never talk to me again

So, I get severe migraines -and when I say severe, I mean I’m out for a few days. Either way, my head is so sensitive that when storms come and the air pressure changes, I can tell because my head begins to hurt. Either way, I was at the mall with my friend and I told her that it was going to rain. She looked at her weather app and told me that I must be mistaken as it’s supposed to be sunny, and I told her to just trust me.

Long story short, it did rain and now my friend thinks I’m prophetic.

Rosé: If you’re American and coming to Australia, I’m gonna go ahead and say that you should be 100% way more worried about being king hit by a dude named “Dane” in a bintang singlet than any fucking spiders that exist here.

Jisoo: What does this say in English?

Jennie: Good sir, if you are a resident of the United States of America and coming to visit the sunny land of Australia, allow me to inform you that you should rather be more concerned about being sucker punched by a gentleman named “Dane” who is likely to be seen wearing a wifebeater with a beer company logo on it than by any of the dangerous spiders that exist on this lovely continent.

Jisoo: Okay, so what does it say in American?

Jennie: You’re more likely to get sucker punched/cold-cocked by an asshole than you are to be bitten by a spider.

Lisa: Well, rattle my spoons, that don’t make a lick of sense. Wot in tarnation does this hootenanny say?

Jennie: If ya mosey on by Australia, you best be fixin’ to get some fisticuffs more'n checkin fer spiders.

Rosé: This is a Rosetta Stone for a single language.

Wendy: I’m semi excited about this new girl, but I’m gonna try to keep my expectations low this time

Irene: Yes, guard your heart-but not your vagina.

Random mugger: *points gun at Chenle* Give me your money!

Chenle: *holds up an uno reverse card* No, give me your money.

Mugger: Wtf

Chenle: *runs away*

*later to Doyoung*

Chenle: And that’s how I avoided getting mugged

Doyoung:

Doyoung: From the bottom of my heart, what the fuck, Chenle?