I Have The Screenshot!

I have the screenshot!

Wait, wait, wait. What exactly does Woljif say about Lann/FemMC romance??? I've romanced Lann and I've never seen those comments. I'M BEGGING YOU, QUENCH THIS THIRST FOR KNOWLEDGE

I don’t have the screenshot on hand, but Woljif’s talking to Daeran iirc and saying that he sees how the Commander could fall for someone as muscular as Lann, and lamenting that he doesn’t know how anyone could fall for someone as scrawny as him. Daeran tells him that he should consider himself lithe or slender instead of scrawny, because more people find that attractive (Daeran even says that when he describes Woljif as lithe he’s immediately more attracted to him). Basically, it’s Woljif talking about how hot Lann is, under the guise of saying he himself is unattractive.

Some nifty programs on NRK available outside of Norway:

• 113 - follows the ambulance service in Tromsø

• Hva Feiler Det Deg - Game show where a group of regular people with the power of the internet compete with doctors to guess a diagnosis

• Da vi styrte landet - 6 Norwegian Prime ministers (both former and current) discuss their time as prime minister

• Dagsrevyen - News

• Debatten - Debate program

• Sånn er Norge - Discusses topics about Norway

• Side om Side - Comedy series about 3 families living in the same neighborhood

• Nytt på Nytt - Panel show where teams have to answer questions about the last week's events

Full list of all TV shows available outside of Norway.

Actually, people are good by nature and you're a fool if you think otherwise.

Things to Keep Out of Your Healthy Relationships!

(Alternately: how to identify problematic YA romances.)

Written by yours truly, contributions from @jltillary, @theinkrepository, @time-to-write-and-suffer, and @sakrebleu.

Non-consensual physical intimacy, especially in situations where it’s portrayed as being done for the benefit of the victim or situations where the victim forgives the forced intimacy because they decide they like it after it’s already been forced on them. Examples:

Forcing a partner to accept physical comfort when they don’t want it.

Kissing a partner in the middle of an argument.

Framing consent as unnecessary simply because one person is attracted to the other.

Stalking the other person, even for their own safety.

Forcing the other person into some form of physical intimacy because they “liked it last time.”

Implying that it’s normal for a certain physically intimate act to hurt and/or their partner should grin and bear it.

Skipping over their partner’s preferred forms of intimacy in favor of what they want to do with/to their partner.

When in doubt: Consent should be explicitly given!!

Non-consensual communication. Examples:

Physically stopping a partner from leaving in order to continue talking with them.

Bringing up a topic the other person has made clear they don’t wish to discuss yet.

Forcing the other person into conversations with people they previously showed they did not wish to talk with.

Manipulating the conversation so that the other person shares a secret, especially one that doesn’t affect their partner.

Emotional manipulation. Examples:

Telling the other person to do something (i.e. ‘go away’) as a test, where the person is at fault if they follow through and do as their partner asked.

Blaming the other person for things beyond their control, especially “I wouldn’t be like this if not for you/your interests/your goals.”

Claiming they’ll die (or kill themselves) if the other person leaves.

Not wanting the other person to have friends of the same gender as their partner (i.e. a man not wanting his girlfriend to have any male friends).

“If you really loved me you would do x, y, and z.”

Demanding to be the most important part of their partner’s life, above and beyond their partner’s other responsibilities.

Cheating on their partner as a form of punishment.

Acting as though physical intimacy (or any other sort of intimacy) isn’t important, but then blaming the other person for not supplying it.

Acting distant or cruel until the other person does what they want, or because the other person didn’t do what they wanted.

Demeaning actions and words, especially in instances where they blame the actions and words on internalized sexism, racism, etc as a shield, in instances outside of high-stress arguments, and whenever the character isn’t sincerely sorry for what they did or makes no point to change. Examples:

Stating the other person’s interests or hobbies are inferior or a waste of time.

Telling them they were look better if they did x, y and z.

Demanding they stop doing something or start doing something else based on their gender, race, etc.

Placing the other person in a subordinate role without their partner’s explicit consent.

Not sharing certain pieces of information because they believe they know what’s best for their partner and don’t need the other person’s consent to act upon it.

Bonus: Glorification of a partner simply for not demeaning the other person, (i.e. for acting like  an average, decent human being,) especially when the partner in question boasts how amazing they are for loving their “curvy”/non-white/bisexual/not-like-other-girls/etc partner.

Please add more, if you feel so inclined! 

I want to try this one.

You know what’s fun to write? Healthy relationships. 

I don’t mean in the sense that healthy relationships are important to portray in fiction–no, I mean, they’re actually enjoyable to scribble down. Think of these examples:

A and B kicking ass together 👍

A and B believing in and listening to each other 👍

A and B communicating their problems (doubles as good scene-setting to further explore the characters’ reactions to stress) 👍

Makeout sessions 👍

Quick kisses that makes one/both smile 👍

One swearing to protect the other and then doing it 👍

A and B both contributing to the other’s character development in sweet and positive ways 👍

One recognizing the other’s faults but not letting the knowledge overshadow why they love their partner 👍

One doing something nice for the other, even if it’s in the middle of a battle for the fate of the world 👍

A and B overcoming all the torture you throw at them but never losing their friendship and sense of peace when they’re together 👍

and more

There’s something to writing unhealthy relationships, in the sense of drama and conflict, but there’s no reason a healthy one can’t have drama and conflict while the characters still work to make their partner happy. There’s also something to not throwing unneeded drama and conflict at them, allowing them to interact with themselves and the story in positive ways. Honestly, it’s refreshing and puts a smile on your face (or, at least it puts one on mine). It shows everyone else what the characters prioritize: a healthy dynamic with the person they care about most. It doesn’t have to be boring.

(Also applies to non-monogamous and platonic relationships.)