If You Wouldve Known That That Stupid River Was The Fountain Of Youth, You Never Wouldve Drank From It.

If you would’ve known that that stupid river was the fountain of youth, you never would’ve drank from it. That was 300 years ago. You’re permanently stuck at age 26. The only one you really have left in your life is your horse, who also made the mistake of drinking from it.

Danny always knew tax evasion ran in his veins. His parents hadn’t been the most… morally sound of people, and less so as ecto-scientists.

He just didn’t think their lessons would ever result in a criminal empire that spanned the entire city and then some. Danny hadn’t seen it coming. His parents definitely wouldn’t have.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Wayne. Mr. Fox.”

Danny ‘the Phantom’ Fenton sat down across from a rather tense looking (to Danny’s enhanced senses, anyways) Brucie Wayne and his right hand, Lucius Fox. He smiled pleasantly, matching Brucie’s vacant smile with that touch of Midwest suburban mother smile.

With his acquisition of multiple Gotham companies, his rather newly established Fentom Co. became one of the largest holding companies in Gotham, the first being Wayne Enterprises and the second being Drake Industries. After months of constantly working his butt off while fending off assassins, reforming Gotham’s slums and cleaning up some of the streets, and taking care of his nest of street kids, Danny garnered enough power to even stand close to Wayne Enterprises in terms of financial powers.

The topic of this meeting was, of course, the proposed merger of Wayne Enterprises’ Medical R&D division with Fentom Co.’s pharmaceutical department. Usually, Wayne Enterprises wouldn’t even consider such an offer, as their Medical R&D division was the most well funded and least likely to be part of a Rogue’s scheme- and therefore most beloved- department of the same nature in Gotham. However, Danny had something the other offers didn’t.

Blackmail.

His overly polite smile widened as Bruce’s mask twitched. His eyes slid over to Lucius Fox.

“It’s an honor to meet you, sir. I’ve heard much about your genius in… research and development.”

By that, Danny meant that he knew Lucius Fox helped develop Batman’s tech.

He did a lot of stalking that week. It felt rather… invasive, even if he did get a bunch of juicy secrets.

You know what they say: dead men tell no tales… but halfas are generally blabbermouths.

“Is that so? It is a pleasure to meet you as well, Mr. Fenton.” The man quickly glanced between the youngsters, accurately predicting that this might have something to do with Bruce’s active nightlife.

“Yes, it is such a pleasure to meet you.”

Wow, Danny didn’t think he’d ever heard anyone sound both so perky and dead inside at the same time, except for Susan at Gotham High’s bake sale.

Bruce wishes he could be a Susan. He’s at best a Becky.

“Will you be staying, Mr. Fox? You’re the head of the R&D department, correct?”

“Ah, yes-”

“Oh, Lucius! I think you had an appointment with the finance department right now! I heard Sally talk about it, you know!”

Lucius Fox sent an unreadable look at Bruce before rallying.

“Oh, it must have slipped my mind. My apologies, Mr. Fenton, it seems as though I can not skip this appointment.”

“That’s alright. I suppose it gives you… plausible deniability… should things go wrong, haha!” Danny allowed his smile to widen a little further than natural. Bruce tensed but Lucius Fox simply politely smiled and left the room.

Ignorance is bliss and all that, Danny amusedly thought.

As the door shut with a click, Bruce dropped the vacant Brucie smile and sighed.

“What do you want,” he gritted out. Danny wasn’t about to let that slide, not after he spent the better part of this month wrangling Bruce’s problem children.

“Ah, it must be because I’m from the Midwest, Brucie, but where I come from, we value these things called manners.”

You uneducated jerk, he doesn’t say.

Danny leaned back in his chair, loosening his smile into something relaxed and sharp.

“…” Oh, boy, Danny could just hear the other man’s blood pressure rising. “What is the purpose of your visit, Mr. Fenton?”

“Relax, Brucie,” Danny sing-songed in a non-relaxing way. “I’m just here to discuss a possible merger that I’m sure you’ll agree to, and give you a couple of updates on your… wayward bird.”

He heard Bruce take a slow, controlled breath. “Very well. Where. Would. You. Like. To. Start.”

Danny ignored the gritted out sentence. He passed a contract to Bruce, who took it like he was handling a live bomb.

“Here’s the proposal, Mr. Wayne. Please, look it over.”

He watched as Bruce looked over the contract with an eagle eye before lowering it, scrutinizing Danny.

“This is… very fair.”

Danny raised an eyebrow. Of course it was fair. Danny wasn’t interested in exploiting the Waynes, despite them being very able to afford it.

He’d brought fifty manufacturing sites for pharmaceuticals, and offered up a building where both companies could send their workers. He provided top notch security- that definitely didn’t have any talons on staff, what were they talking about?- that came from his own security division. Granted, most of them were reformed and trained goons, but hey, creating jobs can only help Gotham’s economy and help break the cycle of poverty, right? Guaranteed by the Wayne name and, most importantly, uncompromised medicine that was accessible to everyone would be a damn good start. He’d also have Penguin’s empire to distribute it to those who couldn’t make it to a clinic or a store, and there were plans in there to work with and establish contracts with Gotham’s welfare department. Well… once Danny finished replacing them with people who wouldn’t try to take a cut of the funds and actually cared about the people. He was thinking… the multitudes of poor grad students and parents that need income. He’s in the process of building childcare centers and…

It’s a good thing he managed to save money from the taxes (thank you, Gotham’s morally ambiguous tax experts that were in desperate need for clients! He could do it himself but having a team of accountants at the ready was seriously so helpful.) because ancients knows the government weren’t about to step into Gotham and help the people here. He needs so much money to pull all of this shit off and a lot of it has to be clean.

Danny inwardly sighed and marked another thing onto his to do list.

Make money laundering fronts.



“Of course, Mr. Wayne. You didn’t think I’d come in here demanding money, did you?”

“I considered it.”

“I am, in fact, trying to help Gotham. You might not agree with my methods, but I’d rather not damage Wayne Enterprises when it’s doing so much to help the people.”

Ugh, he was doing too much work. Danny just wanted to- hah- chill at home and read bed time stories to his kids.

Bruce Wayne, the specific blend between Brucie and Batman, regarded him silently. Danny felt like he went up a few notches in the respect ladder.

Nice.

“You’re a criminal.”

“Says the man in the bat-suit breaking into places and assaulting people.”

Bruce’s hands spasmed around the contract. Danny smiled at him, taking a sip of the coffee they’d prepared. Oo, nice!

“Ah, I heard you’re adopting- pardon, fostering- Tim Drake. Getting empty nest syndrome, Brucie?” He slipped back into using Bruce’s first name. The proposal was formal. This… was very much not.

“What about it?”

“That’s very kind of you. Speaking of which, well, of your birds, I was wondering if you remembered what I asked you to do.” Danny continued, not giving Bruce a chance to reply. “Didn’t I ask for you to keep your birds in line, Brucie?”

The CEO straightened even further, form filling out to be Batman’s imposing figure. “I did.”

“No, you didn’t. Do you know where your charge is, right now? No, not the formerly dead one,” Danny tilted his head, smile shrinking.

“Don’t you dare do anything to Tim. I swear, if you even lay a hand on a strand of his hair, I’ll-”

“Sit your Armani clad ass down, Bruce.” Danny snapped. “Your son’s in your office. I don’t harm children, and your assumptions are deeply insulting. Threaten me again, Bruce, and I’ll make sure you know exactly how much I know about your birds, your cousin, and the commissioner’s daughter.”

Bruce snarled but leashed his anger just enough to sit back down. He itched to go check on Tim, but leaving a threat like Phantom unwatched felt inherently wrong.

“Your other son,” Danny continued. “Is doing quite well. He’s learning that he has hobbies again. He’s actually working under me, you know.”

“He’s what.”

Oh, yeah, that tracks. It figured that Jason wouldn’t tell Bruce about anything. He’s still conflicted about his death. Danny got it.

“Ah, that’s precious information. You’ll have to offer something of equal value if you want to know. There is, on the other hand, a piece of information I’ll give you for free.”

Danny paused for the dramatic effect. It was lost on Bruce, the ultimate drama queen of this world.

“The League of Assassins are hanging around Hotham lately. It’s getting tedious, getting rid of them. I suggest talking to your old flame, you know, with words and what little communication skill you’ve got rattling around in your noggin to get them to pull back. Her interest is… unnaturally focused on Jason.”

Danny read the dark agreement swimming about Bruce’s face and inclined his head. “Should negotiations fail, rest assured that Jason will be protected.”

“…Thank you.”

“You are most welcome. Go ahead and discuss the contract with Mr. Fox, I am sure you’ll find little problems with it. Ah,” Danny stood up, fixing his suit jacket. “And you should probably check up on Timothy. He’s probably having a great time in your office, Mr. Wayne.”

“I’ll see you out.”

“Of course.”

Having Batman escorting him out should probably be more intimidating.

Danny stood in the elevator, waiting for Bruce’s contemplative silence to put itself into words.

Sure enough, “What… what kind of hobbies does Jason have now?”

“I’d tell you to ask him, but you two aren’t on speaking terms, are you? He likes books, of course, but recently, he’s found an interest in glass blowing. He made quite a bit of progress on his attempts at sun catchers.”

“I see.”

Well, Danny’s not about to step on that landmine any more than he has to.

——

“Danny.”

“Oh, hey, Jason. Sit down, we were about to have dinner.”

Jason clambered into the window. Danny sighed. He had a door, but by the way Jason never used it, it was like the door didn’t exist.

“Mind telling me why the old bastard showed up on my rooftops with a bunch of glass and glassblowing tools?”

Danny smiled. “No idea.”

“Uh huh.”

Danny placed a hand on his chest and put on his best woe-is-me expression. The teen’s face twitched in annoyance. “Doubt? At me? Why, I never!”

A bread roll thwacked him in the face.

For the ask game:

Not DfO AU

All for One decides to retire. He meets Izuku by chance and decides to give him the AfO quirk copy, to see what he'll do with it.

*hisses at the non dfo au*

1 - After he got half murdered by All Might, AFO decides that it's time to retire. But since he cannot abide the thought of not messing things up, he picks a bullied kid with some wrath in his heart and decides to offer him the chance to be someone. He gives him a quirk to steal quirks and leaves his shadow inside it, so it will corrupt the boy and All Might will be forced to kill a child who used to be his number 1 fan.

2.A - It. Completely. Fails.

2.B - Vestige AFO barely has the time to say "Actually, All Might kinda sucks..." that Izuku bitch slaps him into submission. One does not insult All Might in front of the ultimate fanboy.

3 - Izuku is very happy to have such a cool quirk, obtains more quirk, decides to be hero, etc. On the day of the entrance exam, Nedzu calls All Might and tells him that one of the students has the ability to steal quirks and curly hair and so on. Izuku, after the exam, is asked to go to the principal office, which makes him freak out because he isn't even enrolled in UA, how can he be already called into the principal's office??? But he explains that yes, a strange man gave him a very cool quirk.

4 - No one is willing to believe that AFO could just give quirks without asking for something in return (meanwhile Vestige AFO is screaming to be let out, please, it's full of All Might merch in there, he will be good!) so they share a glance where they both agree that Izuku is probably AFO's secret lovechild and that Izuku doesn't need to know that.

5 - Through his first month in UA, Izuku keeps meeting people, heroes and villains alike, who immediately squint and ask if he is AFO's secret lovechild. Even Todoroki asked it! He keeps telling them that no, that's not the case, he has two parents that he loves very much, and neither of them is a supervillain, but as Todoroki keeps pointing out, one of his parents is "out of country" and "never around" because "working abroad".

+1 - One the day of PT meeting, Izuku arrives with both parents. One is Inko. The other is Star and Stripe.

I hope you have fun with this 5+ headcanon ask, an AU where Izuku is born with your Life Drain quirk.

1 - Inko almost dies while delivering Izuku so his quirk is discovered quickly. The hospital starts to make noise about isolating the baby somewhere so he doesn't endanger anyone in the nursery but Hisashi calmly advise them to be quiet and keeps his son with him, thank you very much.

2 - Life Drain allows Izuku to drain people of their energy in order to heal/be stronger. If he is injured, with a lot of effort, he can hold on using his quirk, but he will have to heal. It also affects everything/everyone close to him, which makes wonders for his social life. In order to appease people's worries, he wears gloves. It's one giant bluff because he doesn't need to touch people to use his quirk. (However, touching someone is the only way for him to drain a specific target.) He can't redirect the flow of energy and heal someone. It's a quirk perfectly suited to keep him and only him alive.

3 - Izuku isn't bullied because one simply does not bully someone who could put you on a tee-shirt. People do avoid him, though. The only exception to both of those statements is Katsuki, who takes offense in how Izuku does his best to appear harmless and "one of the good ones", calling him a hypocrite on several occasions. There is also the fact no one in his class is comfortable with the idea of him being a hero because they think his power makes him a liability in the field.

4 - The Sludge villain doesn't make it in this AU because from the moment he starts to push down Izuku's internal organ, Life Drain goes "WHEEE!" and All Might shows up to see a panicked teenager pushing down the body of a dead sludge villain in the sewers. That's one hell of a first impression but All Might reminds him that he did that in self defense as he was about to be killed, accepts not to reveal what happened to the Sludge, and keeps an eye on him to make sure he gets psychological help. I don't think it's an AU where Izuku gets OFA because Life Drain is already way too powerful on its own.

5 - In this AU, I would be more interested in showing the bias that come with dangerous or scary quirks. Yes, every quirk is supposedly accepted but people with "villainous" quirk kinda have to put on the persona and make sure not to be perceived as threatening in order not to worry "the others". Also, obviously, I would terrify people with those moments where Izuku shows the depths of his anger.

+ 1 - The Todoroki/Midoriya match would be so humbling because Todoroki would take one step on the ring then drops to the ground, suddenly exhausted.

+ 2 - You know All for One is living his best life with his son who has a quirk that makes him easily ostracized but also... Izuku can't die. It's like an in-built vault!

For the ask game: an AU where All Might and Izuku forget to tell Inko that they're going to I-Island.

Ah yes, The story of how Midoriya Inko drop kicked the Symbol of Peace.

(I am going to change the prompt just a little bit to make it funnier.)

1 - Okay so you have to understand that Izuku is a very independent child and it's normal for him to disappear during an entire day without giving any news. Inko has learned not to worry. However, because of that habit, Izuku only left a message to his mom when he was already on the plane.

2 - Izuku left quite the good message, calmly explaining where he was going, that he was with a teacher, and when he would be back. Except that all that Inko heard was "I have been smuggled out of the country by an adult I barely know." She completely panics. Calls Izuku a thousand times but his phone is off (because he is on a plane). Calls Hisashi but he doesn't answer either (because he is in Tartarus).

3 - Now, most people would have called the police but Inko has... ahem... a past that makes her distrustful of the police and heroes alike. So she kinda hops on a plane and gets illegally into I-Island. As she does, she ends up in a warehouse where a group of shady looking people have also gotten in the island. They look like villains, they might be involved in a smuggling ring, so she very politely asks them if they have seen his son.

4 - Wolfram, who had just been talking about his nefarious plan, doesn't know how much this strange Japanese housewife heard. He makes vague threats and allusions about how he can definitely help her find her son, already planning to kill her. Unfortunately for him, all that Inko heard was "Oh yes, we definitely got your son, are up to no good, and are going to do something stupid." Parental adrenaline kicks in. The spirit of Yor Forger possesses her. Twenty minutes later, Inko exists the warehouse. There is a tiny bit of blood on her but she wipes it and keeps looking for her son.

5 - The strange man who is next to Izuku never sees her coming. She drops from the second floor and drop kicks him. He immediately passes out, maybe because of the kick, maybe because of the sheer shock.

+ 1 - Once All Might wakes up, he apologizes to Inko and that's how she learns that her son is on friendly terms with the Symbol of Peace! Hooray!

Hello Katydid! For the ask game, Gray ends in Donald's school instead of Eunjang, please!

After the Stephen Incident, Gray's former teacher mailed his test scores to all schools in the area. Donald pulled strings to get Gray in because he sympathizes with a brilliant student with a bad record for personal reasons. Then Donald forgot about him.

At first this is better for Gray because Donald's school is far better run. There's bullying in the form of protection money but people don't just randomly deface Gray's poor bag and attack him in the hallways. Gray isn't interested in starting trouble and keeps his head down. His emotional issues fester unaddressed.

Gray first attracted Donald's attention via his math puzzles, at which point Donald put out an order to ensure no one messed with Gray. They started regularly chatting at school about smart people stuff.

Gray saw Donald surrounded by delinquents and misunderstood that someone was bullying his new friend. This triggered all his Stephen issues and he beat the crap out of them. Donald did not help because he was too busy re-examining his sexuality.

After that Donald become obsessed with getting Gray to join his side and Gray was annoyed his new friend got involved in this delinquent nonsense. In desperation Donald sought out advice, but it's far too embarrassing to ask any of his subordinates, so he went to Gerald: a former musician with a fanclub. Gerald is sweating knowing that the fate of Eunjang rests on his ability to get a highly antisocial miniature crime boss together with a highly antisocial killing machine.