Okay So Funny Idea-

Okay so funny idea-

Rivalry is the only way to court a Hatake.

Being rivals with a Hatake means you are courting them.

Kakashi : *waiting for Gai, for almost over 20 years (!), to finally give him any fucking gifts that he could accept, signifying they would now be mates*

Gai : ETERNAL RIVAL !!! :D

Kakashi : *silently crying in his head*

Kakashi's ninken : *sigh in pain*

Gai : *has absolutely no idea about Hatake courting* ? :D

In the pure world :

Sakumo : *wincing for his son* aouch... My poor little pup...

Dai : *annoyed at his son obliviousness* SAGE DAMNIT SON-

Also... The Senju brothers being half Hatake.

Izuna : Aha ! We meet again rival !

Tobirama : Pardon !? since when ?! *Blushing shocked*

Izuna : Eh ??? *Confused*

Hashirama : !!! You didn't tell me Tobi ! :0

Madara : Izuna you moron ! They're half Hatake !!!

Izuna : !!! OH UM- NEVERMIND ! *blushing embarrassed*

Hashirama : Aw :'( *disappointed*

Tobirama : ... *Is secretly disappointed too*

Touka : *is laughing like a hyena*

Hikaku : *is sighing in exhaustion*

The rest of the Senjus and Uchihas fighting : *Stop fighting to observe bemused at the interaction*

During the summer where Hashirama and Madara meet... :

Madara : So are we rivals now ?

Hashirama : Ah- um... Maybe...? If you wanna, I wouldn't mind... *Is fidgeting, shy and blushing*

Madara : *looks at him confused* ???

Hashirama : I'm half Hatake...

Madara : OH- hhhhhhh... No. Sorry... *Looks away blushing, actually sad he has to say no*

Hashirama : Oh... ;'( *Sad little puppy*

Ok so...

Why I've I put Namikaze as Feral...

I just thought it'd be funny. :)

The name sound a lot like kamikaze, and I thought "hey, what if", so voilà !

The "We're so good that we literally cannot die even when it a suicide mission." Type of clan lol.

Annoy the living shit of the Hyugan, Uchiha and Hakate but they don't say shit because the Namikaze are so eager and sweet and happy and so so obvious it sickeningly adorable-

Making them sad is literally a crime in Konoha.

They are perfect little angels.

Yes that child Namikaze did infact absolutely exterminate an entire squadron entirely on their own without any weapons nor jutsu. Yes they did tear those bodies apart with their bare teeth and ate some human meat raw, directly form the dead bodies.

But looks at them.

Their are absolutely adorable and have absolutely no fucking idea of how powerful they are and how must terrifying their being.

They're an angel, really.

(and the other Villages don't know what to feel about That so they Don't. Touch. That with anything at all)

(and yes I'm talking about Namikaze Minato :D)

Omfg yeeessssss, and it's not intentional each time ! X3

Uzui was chilling peaceful as the one first one here, waiting for the other to arrive with Himejima. He was talking calmly (or as calmly this man can be) with his fellow hashira.

Until...

Someone suddenly just touch his shoulder.

He will let every single one of you that he absolutely did not jump on Himejima in his scare nor scream like a little girl, nuh huh. Not at all. But if he did, it wa- um... He means would be completely and absolutely flamboyant !

Kanae stop laughing-

Anyway-

He turn his head towards the person whom (and no, he didn't have to get down Himejima.)... Just touch his shoulder and nothing else. To... Someone he doesn't know ?

"Sorry... Tomioka Giyu... Newest hashira... Hello ?"

Oh yes ! The new guy ! Water hashira if he's not mistaken. "Hey Tomioka ! Welcome and congratulations on your promotion !" Eh ? That seems to make him uncomfortable ? Oh well. "Pleased to meet you, Tomioka-san, welcome and congratulations." He simply hum as a response. Huh, he doesn't seem like the talkative type. Oh well, too bad.

He goes to his corner on his own. And Uzui tries to listen to his heartbeat...

Eh ?

EH ?!

EEEEEHH ??!

He... He doesn't... Have an heartbeat...?

"Himejima...?" "Yes... I know..."

Oh. This is why he... No they didn't hear the guy arrive.

"Okay what the actual f-"

YES YES. OMG IT FITS PERFECTLY IN MY AU OMG-

Kid Kakashi : *looking confused at Gai and Obito because what is going on. Ps, he's blushing so hard right now* ???

Gai and Obito : *completely and absolutely oblivious* >:D

Rin : *has an idea of what the deal is but isn't sure so doesn't say anything*

Genma and Ebisu : *know but can't be bothered to do anything about it*

Minato : *trying so hard to not laugh*

Choza : *sighing exhausted at the drama, too old and tired for this shit*

Kushina : ... I'm telling them.

Mikoto : Don't you fucking dare. This is too hilarious for you to tell them.

Kushina : omg you're so right !

Mikoto : I usually am.

Sakumo in the pure world : *resisting the urge to fight the shinegami just to punt those two little brat trying to court his baby wolf pup*

Dai, also in the pure world : *holding Sakumo's back, trying to calm him down, because one of those two brats is his son !*

Uhhh random hatake au in which challenging a hatake to a fight three times in a row/clashing with them three times insinuates you wish to court them, and so Kakashi spends the majority of his life mentally screaming because these people might not know it but in the eyes of the Hatake they're all attempting to court him? help??

... '-'

5 years old Kakashi whom just lost his dad by his suicide : ...

15 years old Minato whom's has absolutely no fucking idea how to take care of a child : um... Hi ?

Kakashi : 🖕

Minato : ah-

Kushina, Mikoto and the rest of the group (this generation of the rookie 9) whom still are training with their Senseis : Lol get reck.

Minato : ... *Pouts before get6a genius idea because he was a wild forest orphan child before Jiraya, also, basically adopted him* Do You Wanna Bite People ? :D

Kakashi : !!! 👍

The rookie 9 : wait no-

Minato and Kakashi infront of the Hokage : *no regret* :)

Hiruzen : *so many regrets, hiding his face in his hands, shaking his head, sighing*

Sakumo in the pure world : *laughing his ass off*

I will never get over the fact that Minato had to have been fifteen when he became Kakashi's jonin sensei. Not only did these utter brainiacs let a five year old become a soldier, they then TRUSTED ANOTHER CHILD TO SHOW HIM THE ROPES.

Why aren't there more fics about what a batshit arrangement this was.

And the Nohara...

The purple Markings :) yep

An Uzushigakure Clan, close with reptiles (snakes and lizards) and the main medical/poison specialist of the Village.

They have two main branches.

The Shikon (fang) Branch have eyes markings. They work with snakes, poisons and medicine. Everything that does something to the body without "touching" it. They have particular like characteristics, like a long tongue and elongating body membres (arms/neck).

The Sukēru (scale) Branch have cheek markings. They work with Lizards, nerve strike Taijustu and Tealing Justus. They can lose and regrow membres and organs. Yes, the heart too. (As long as they can use their chakra and still a completely healthy and functioning brain)

Both Branch have reptile like yellow eyes, sharp long fangs, little scales on their body and a naturally "poisonous" chakra.

Orochimaru is mostly of the Shikon Branch. Rin is mostly of the Sukēru Branch.

It is quite common for the two Branch to marry into eachother.

Rin : *gasp as she quite literally come back to life* Holy fucking shit- worst way to destroy a seal, would NOT recommend-

Kakashi : RIN !? D';

Obito : RIN !? D';

Rin : Madara's a lil bitch.