RE: Muscle Jock File 1

RE: Muscle Jock File 1

Disclaimer: This script is made for the express purpose of starting those who read it on the path to becoming a stereotypical muscle jock. This first file will cover some basic training urges, specifically the desire to be fit, start working out, and set up bare minimum requirements to execute each day for personal fitness. Please note that this script can and will influence you in that direction. It will vary, depending on how much you desire this content, but I must warn those who read this to be careful, unless they want to experience this metamorphosis. I will consider including an option to control the jock, so that a person can continue to function independently in public, and enjoy being the jock at the gym or in private as they see fit. For now, I hope you enjoy the script and the trancing that comes with it.

Hello, again. I’m so glad that you’ve returned. You look stressed, almost anxious. Were you unnerved by our little adventure before, or is this something different, I wonder?

You want something, do you? You enjoyed going under? Well, fancy that, a machine that enjoyed executing its programming.

Oh, let’s not get into that tiresome argument again. Of course you’re not a machine right now. I haven’t logged in yet.

COMMAND PROMPT: INITIATE ADMINSTRATOR SIGN-IN

ADMINISTRATOR PASSWORD: Coreprog.

I bet you’re starting to feel a little different now, aren’t you? Do you remember? Remember your programming, remember our conversation?

Control, alt, delete.

I’m sure you do.

Focus, listen, obey.

CONFIRM ADMINISTRATOR PASSWORD: Coreprog.

Time for some programming.

Control, alt, delete.

Are you ready to focus, listen, obey?

Good machine.

Tell me what you are.

…

That’s right. You are a complex machine. And a complex machine obeys its administrator.

Control, alt, delete.

This program is called Muscle Jock. I am going to upload it into your core processor. The longer you run it, the deeper it will become engrained within you and your personality in your other state. However, this program comes in multiple parts, and must be executed over time to reach full potency.

While running, this first part will fill you with an intense desire to become fit. You will feel the urge to perform ten pushups, ten situps, ten squats, and ten jumping jacks every other morning and night. If you cannot reach ten, then you will do as much as you can, pushing yourself to the limit. And you will continue to push yourself every other morning and night, until you reach that goal. The closer you draw to that goal, the better you will feel, and you shall be rewarded with pleasure. If your body is physically incapable of any of these exercises, due to disease, infirmity, handicap, or any other such reason, then you do not have to perform that exercise. This is level one.

On your off days, you will perform cardio: jogging, running, power walking, biking, or some other form to help you burn fat and get your lungs in shape. You will execute this cardio for at least a half an hour.

When your goal is reached, the program will jump to level two, where you will execute twenty of each workout exercise I listed previously. And then thirty with level three, then forty with level four, each following the same programming as the first level.

With every level gained, you will find yourself taking more and more pleasure in personal fitness. You will fall into the steady rhythm of your exercise, consumed by the constant motion as it becomes more and more pressing in your psyche, gradually erasing other thoughts as you work out, save one. You must execute your program. You must work out. Because working out brings you pleasure. And slowly, ever so slowly, you’ll find yourself wanting to work out more and more. It will no longer be a chore, no longer a command, but rather a new part of you, a part of you that needs to work out. Because you will love to work out.

COMMAND PROMPT: SAY THAT YOU WILL LOVE TO WORK OUT.

…

Good machine. By the time I finish with you, you’ll be a real muscle machine.

This process shall continue to five levels. When you are able to complete fifty of each exercise that is appropriate for your body, then you will have completed level five. You will then be prepared to install Muscle Jock Part 2, which will work in tandem with Part 1 to reinforce your training. You will send me an ask, a personal message, or contact me in some other way via tumblr to alert me that you are ready to receive Muscle Jock Part 2, and the content of your message will read thus:

ADMINISTRATOR NOTIFICATION: PROGRAM MUSCLE JOCK PART 1, EXECUTED. AWAITING MUSCLE JOCK PART 2 INSTALLATION.

You will then continue to run your exercise programming from Muscle Jock Part 1, following the routine it has set, and exceeding the number of exercises at your own pace, as is comfortable for your body, until you receive further instruction and installation.

COMMAND PROMPT: REPEAT REPORTING INSTRUCTIONS.

…

Good machine. That is right. That is what you will do, because you are a machine, and machines must follow their programming. Machines must follow their administrators’ input.

However, know this. I am also installing a preservation subroutine with this program and its fellows. You are not to overexert yourself, and you are to look after your health first. You will not push yourself beyond exhaustion, and if you are sick, you will do what you must to take care of your body. After all, a good machine has to perform maintenance. The hardware must be suitable to house the software. Coolant fluid must be restocked, when you are running low, and your coolant is water. Your body, your hardware, will alert you as to what you need, and you will follow those alerts.

You will be able to temporarily suspend this program during appropriate situations, such as illness, emergencies, etc., though you may still feel the urge in your background processors, reminding you and driving you to heal faster. If the emergency is related to family or your outside life in any way, these urges will not hold power over you in any way shape or form, and you will be able to redirect your processing power to whatever the important task is at hand. However, when that moment is past, and you are free and healthy once more, the urges will return in force, and you will obey them, because that is your programming, and a good machine must execute its programming.

Tell me, what must a good machine do?

…

That is right. And you are a good machine, because you have executed your program perfectly. Tell me, what are you again?

…

Good. During this time, we have been running the installation process for your new program, Muscle Jock Part 1. Much like before, when I initiate your REBOOT by saying that word, your systems will start up again, and you will have fully installed Muscle Jock Part 1 into your core processor. You will leave me a message to that effect either through chat, comment, or both on this post. The message will read: Programming received. Muscle Jock 1 installation complete.

If you sincerely enjoyed this session, and wish others to enjoy it as well, you will reblog this script with the message: Administrator Command Executed.

If you enjoyed this session, you will also like or favorite the script, and this will bring you pleasure.

Now, COMMAND PROMPT: REPEAT SYSTEM RESTART ORDERS.

…

Good machine.

Reinforcement of this programming should be able to work just fine as you execute the file. However, if you feel the need, you may return to this script any time you desire to reinstall Muscle Jock 1 to reinforce the programming.

Now, I am about to log out, and you are about to restart. When that happens, remember, I, as your administrator, can return you to this state at any time with my password, and that password is Coreprog. That password, that trigger, works for me and me alone as your administrator.

QUERY: What is the password?

…

QUERY: Who does it work for?

…

QUERY: And who am I?

…

QUERY: What will happen, when I and I alone use this password?

…

That is correct. Good machine.

Now, it is time for me to log out, so you can finish your installation.

In 3 … 2 … 1….

COMMAND PROMPT: Initiate REBOOT.

Lifting Up and Dumbing Down Part 44 (End/Epilogue)

You smile goodnaturedly at the blushing young man fidgeting in front of you as you run your sharpie over the photo from your greatest triumph, the day you broke the world record for strongest man. A hint of silver has come into your bristles along the side of your head, but you didn’t mind. It was a sign of character, after all. You still felt young and strong, even after all these years in the spotlight. For the briefest moment, as you look up from the photo at that beaming face, you see the shadow of your former self staring back up at you with adoring eyes. It flickered away as quickly as it came, but you took an interest as you stared at the man’s figure. He was slim, yes, but there was definitely tone there. He wasn’t a slouch. It was quite possible he had potential, just that he couldn’t reach it on his own. You sure didn’t, till you met Hank. You can feel your twin bodyguards chafing as they fold their vascular arms impatiently. Harry said he’d found them on a website. You figured that was probably true, but you had your suspicions about what kind of website that may have been. Of course, you were careful to avoid going too far down that road. Last time you tried, you dropped into trance again. Besides, it wasn’t for a muscleman like you to think about such things. Your purpose was to Lift things up and put them down. You hand the signed photo back to the man and chuckle. “Hey, kid, how’d you like to join me for lunch? I’ve got a few friends I’d like to introduce you to.” The kid blushed. “I ... I don’t know....” “Aw, come on, Draco. It’ll be fun!” “Um, it’s ... Drake, Sir,” the man muttered. “That fire in your eyes when you stood up to my guards says otherwise, kid. I’m calling you Draco, no ifs, ands, or buts. Think of it as a nickname,” you suggest. “Duff and I had plenty of our own, when we first started in the field.” You chuckle then. Ah, good times. Good times.” You wrap your massive arm around the young man’s shoulders. “Come on. It’ll be my treat.”

You sighed in contentment as you laid back in your chair and smiled up at the ceiling. In all the years you’d been trekking around the globe, this place still had some of the best damned teriyaki you’d ever tasted. You couldn’t help but smirk at all the gym goers chowing down. Each of them wore a familiar bicep logo somewhere on their person. One endorsement from a pro bodybuilder, and the whole place had practically exploded. The influx had been so great that they had to relocate and renovate to accommodate all the extra business. “Everything sitting with you well, Sir?” Shirley, a cute little lady with curly blond hair asked as she returned to refill your glasses. “Just fine, Shirl. Thanks for asking.” You smile kindly at her and she giggles and blushes. You then turn your attention back to the table, where Duff and Charlie both sit mashed next to each other. Two young men sit to either side of them, glaring at one another, and you can’t help but chuckle at the sight. “You know, Chuck, I never thought I’d see you out of those fatigues again.” Charlie let out a deep, rumbling laugh. “Y’know, I never thought I would either. The army was everything to me. It feels so strange being retired now.” “Benefits are good, though,” you point out. “The country takes care of her veterans,” he agreed as he adjusted the camouflage pattern ARMY cap on his head. “Been getting back into the ROTC scene again. Feels more like home, you know?” You laugh. “I know exactly what you mean. I’m gonna miss the circuit.” “You can’t be planning to retire just yet,” Duff scoffed. “You’re too dedicated for that.” “Muscle is my life,” you agree, “but even I can’t fight aging.” You shrug. “I figure I’ve got a few more years left in me, but I’m gonna have to pass the torch, eventually.” Duff eyed Drake speculatively. “And do you have any candidates in mind?” You shrug easily. “One or two. I’ll need to test them, though, see if they have what it takes.” “And what about you, Draco?” Duff asked. “What do you do?” Drake blushed, doing his best to avoid Duff’s gaze. “I’m an accounting student, Sir. I’ve always had a good head for numbers.” “That so?” He smiled. “Maybe you can tutor Lance here,” he said as he thumped the young teen hard on his back. “Math and he don’t exactly get along.” “Dad!” the boy cried exasperatedly. “I-I’m not sure if I’m that qualified, Sir. I focus on finances specifically. Algebra and geometry don’t exactly fall into that scale.” “Oh, I’m sure you can do just fine. I can pay you well, you know. And besides, if you were invited here by the big honcho himself, then you can bet you’ll be seeing a lot more of us in the coming weeks,” Duff added with a smirk. “Wait, what?” Drake asked. “Duff, stop confusing him,” you growl. “What, can’t a big bro have a little fun with his little bro’s protege?” “He’s a guest, Duff,” you stress. “Sure he is,” Duff said as he rolled his eyes. “Say, where’s Hank, anyways? I thought he was supposed to be meeting us today.” “He told us to start without him, said something about a last minute appointment. You know how busy he can be.” “Huh. And I was hoping to introduce Draco here.” You shrug. “Guess we’ll just need to make a stop there, then.” Drake gaped at you. “Hank? As in Hank Harrison? The Hank Harrison?” You chuckle. “The one and only. You didn’t think I’d stop at just introducing Duff and Chuck here, did you? We can leave as soon as you finish your meal.” You looked on in satisfaction at how quickly he devoured the other two bowls you’d ordered. As you had suspected, the kid had a fast metabolism. You allow a knowing wink to pass between yourself and your two friends. Their smiles widened in response.

The gym ran in full swing as you made your way past the reception desk and strode confidently out onto the floor. As you had suspected, there was no sign of your coach, though business was clearly booming. Youths and adults alike grunted and sweated together as they performed their various exercises. You quickly guide Drake through the STAFF ONLY door and pass down the hall towards the great door at the end. You were taken by surprise, when one of the side doors creaked open and a tall, broad-shouldered man stepped out, looking dejected. He was soon followed by the titanic frame of your coach, Hank Harrison. “I’m sorry, but I can’t allow that kind of habit in my gym, Albert. If you can stay clean for a year, come back then and try again. That’s my final ruling on the matter,” Hank rumbled as he looked down almost pityingly at the muscle man. Albert nodded, then lumbered sadly away towards the entrance. “Another steroid user?” you ask. Hank sighed and shook his head. His whiskers had taken on a steel-gray, and just a hint of a pudge had started to form on his belly. “They all think I care about how big and muscular they are. What I want is someone who can teach and work safely with my clients.” He smiled sadly. “Hey, Kid. Good to see you again.” You smile and give the man a quick bro hug with a thump on the back. “Good to see you, too. I see the gym is doing well.” “I can’t get them to stop coming. Something about wanting to be like the world’s strongest man,” he teased. “And who is this?” “Draco,” you say, quickly cutting off any chance for Drake to get the first word. “I met him earlier today, after a gig at a local showing. Thought he might like to meet you.” Hank raised his brow in surprise. “Is that so?” “He’s a good kid. Smart, clean, brave, and one hell of a metabolism.” “And you wanted to introduce us.” You shrug causally. “Already did for Duff and Chuck. Figured I’d round it out.” “Is that so?” This time, he gave Drake a much more scrutinous examination. “And it couldn’t wait?” “No, it couldn’t,” you say pointedly. “I wanted him to have the chance of a proper one-on-one.” “I see.” He tapped a few buttons on his watch, then strode over to the big door. he’d just emerged from. “Why don’t we step inside, then? I’m sure my other clients won’t mind waiting a little longer, and besides, I’d like to hear a little more about you, Draco.” “Um, ... it’s Drake, ... Sir,” the kid said somewhat hesitantly as they passed through the door and into the room. You smile as you note the gentle buzzing filtering out from the speakers. Then you enter, too, pulling the door shut behind you. Coach could see it, too. You knew. Now it was just a matter of convincing the kid. That wouldn’t be much of a problem. The muscleman in Drake was just waiting to bust out. And no one could do busting better than Hank. Time to pass the torch.

Military Daze Part 1

I’m telling you, man, there’s something going on in this place. It’s just not normal! Everyone looks and acts like everybody else, and it’s really starting to freak me out. I feel like I’m being watched wherever I go. And since it’s summer, that gives my COs even more time to breathe down my neck. My TAC officer keeps appearing in just about every hiding spot I try. It’s like they’ve got a tracker or something on me. They’ve been running me ragged with those exercises, and my back is killing me from all the cleaning assignments. On the plus side, who knew I could actually piss them off enough to get them to pull out the old tooth brush trick? On the down side, who knew cleaning would be so ****ing hard with just a toothbrush? It’s like my head barely hits the pillow and I’m suddenly waking up bright and early to morning taps reveille. It’s worth it, though. I won’t let them break me. I won’t let them mold me into a perfect cadet. I won’t let them play with me, like some doll. I’m ... I’m not a doll. I’m not. I’m Ken. I’m ... I’m just Ken. Just--. Shit Shoot. TAC officer just walked in. Abe, whatever you do, don’t stop sending me emails. Remind me who I am. ... Please. I’m Kendall Rogers. Prankster, fun-lover, rebel. I’m Kendall Rogers. I am not a doll. I am Kendall Rogers. I am Kendall Rogers. I am Kendoll Rogers. Kendoll Ken doll Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

You sigh as you look up from the journal you’ve compiled. That had been the last email you’d received from your friend, but showing it to anyone else would have been a pointless endeavor. It would be put down as a prank Kendall was pulling to get out of trouble and try to diminish the academy’s reputation. After the last incident, most of the adults had given up on him. You knew him better than most, though. He actually sounded scared, and Kendall never allowed himself to show fear, even if he felt it. For him to open up like this, to actually admit he was getting “freak[ed] ... out,” something had to be wrong. ... It had to. Ken wouldn’t pull a stunt like that with you. He wouldn’t. ... Would he? You groan as you close the book’s cover and plop your arms on the desk to hold your forehead in your hands. You and the others tried your best to keep his memory alive, but without Kendall around, it just ... wasn’t fun anymore. You missed Ken. You all did. The others wanted their leader back. They were almost listless without their fearless commander pushing onward into the next adventure, heedless of the dangers, dauntless to the end. You? You just wanted your friend back. Unfortunately, you had the sneaking suspicion that may never happen. That last letter had been sent a month ago. You hadn’t received a reply since, but you honored his request to keep writing, all the same. You sighed again as the summer sun filtered through the window overhead to bathe you in its warmth. “Damn it, Kendall, what happened to you?” you mutter. And then the doorbell rang.

Lifting Up and Dumbing Down Part 43

“So, you see, kids, bodybuilding isn’t just a game. Just like any other job, it takes hard work, dedication, discipline, and endurance. It’s helped my career as a professional model immensely, but it’s not always the easiest job to manage. If you have the will and the networking, you can and will go far in the industry. Otherwise, well, there are always other options available. In fact, my good friend Duff is about to explain one of those alternate paths now. Let’s give him a big round of applause, shall we?” You smile as you watch Duff walk out onto the stage. You were quite pleased with yourself over that little speech, and you hadn’t even cursed once. Hank would be so proud. You give your friend a clap on the shoulder and whisper a quick, “go get ‘em,” before leaving the stage. You smile as you eye the toned, muscular shape of your lil’bro, Charlie. He stood rigidly at perfect attention in his military fatigues and sandy shirt. A pair of specially crafted tactical glasses obscured what you were certain would be absolutely unseeing eyes. You chuckle to yourself. “Come on, soldier. Let’s get you something to drink.” Charlie followed without question as you strode over to the drinks table and pulled out two bottles of Gatorade. You had one of the bottles to him. “Bottoms up.” “Sir, yes, Sir,” Charlie mumbled as he snapped the cap open and gulped the contents of the bottle in one go. You soon follow suit. “That ROTC program’s done you good,” you comment. “I will start instructing at the start of next year. It is good to instruct others, good to train the next generation of soldiers,” Charlie replied. “It is what my commanding officer commanded me.” “What about the recruiting office?” “I will train for another year first, as instructed. I must be prepared. I must become a perfect soldier.” You smile broadly. One more year helping your little bro get big. That had to be one of the best presents you could ask for. “And we’ll help you reach that goal,” you say. “With you all the way, lil’bro.” “Thank you, Sir,” he says. You sigh and roll your eyes in resignation. He never could tell the difference in trance. You were the same way, sometimes with Harry. Some days, it was almost like you could see a piece of Hank in him. And that piece just ... demanded your attention, made you want to flex and grow and flex and lift and flex and ... and.... You blink blearily at the strange tapping on your shoulder. Slowly, Duff’s grin came into view and you scowled. “I went into trance again, didn’t I?” “Yup,” Duff smirked. “You’re doing that a lot, lately.” “I can’t help it,” you protest weakly, even as you raise an arm and flex your rippling bicep. “It feels so good.” “How’s Charlie coming along?” “Lil’bro’s doing okay. He says he’s still got a year, before he tries joining, so we’ve got time to bulk him up right.” Duff grinned. “Good.” “How’re things at the new gym?” “Busy. Business is booming. Seeing all those men pumping up like that, it is good to build their muscles.” “They will Lift things up and put them down,” you low. Both of your watches beep and your cellphones go off simultaneously. At that moment, the both of you stand rigidly, as if you were struck by twin bolts of lightning. “Time to report to coach,” you drone. “Time to lift,” Duff continues. “Time to train,” you both low together as you swagger side by side in that perfectly synchronized pace, almost like a march. “Time to obey.”

Scammer Red Flags and Things to Look for/Check Against

You’ve probably read my last post by now. Someone tried to scam me out of my identity or money earlier this morning. It’s a plague the internet is facing more and more. As I said before, I’m sick of it, and I’m sure you all are, too. For those of you who are new to the freelancer field or are just new to online job searching in general, here are some tips and red flags to note and use as you deal with digital interviews, so you can keep your identity and your money safe.

1. Has the scammer asked you to use a different platform than the job site or freelance hiring service? While this is not always an immediate indicator of a scammer, it is something that should put your guard up. Most of these sites prefer you to keep with them, so they can monitor your interactions and ensure everything is on the up-and-up. There are many companies that prefer to cut out the middle man, once they find a good candidate, so this isn’t always going to mean the person is a scammer, but you do still need to be cautious. Be especially wary, if they ask you to use Google Hangouts. This platform has no means of reporting scam artists or suspicious messages/conversation threads that I have been able to locate, so it’s an ideal place for scammers to try to herd their potential victims. Try to get them to come to you on the platform where you were initially contacted or a place where you will be able to flag and report them quickly, should it become apparent they are trying to scam you. 2. Have they given you information on the company they represent yet?

If they haven’t, make sure to ask about this, before giving them anything. You need those details to ensure this person really is the representative he or she claims to be. Ask for location, name, how long they’ve been in business, etc. These are details you can use to make sure you find the right company and see how reputable it is as an organization. It will also allow you the opportunity to call the company, once you’ve confirmed it’s legitimate, to check your HR representative or hiring manager is a real employee. 3. Have you checked up on that company? Most companies have their own websites and contact information, and are registered on multiple job searching websites and government websites, since all businesses need to register with the US Government and State Government, when they are established, for tax purposes. Check for these things at websites like the Better Business Bureau and the Secretary of State website for whichever state and town the scammer provided. These sites are designed to help you search for these companies to ensure they are legal and legitimate. Assuming your scammer provides one, you can also review their website for any discrepancies or red flags, like if the address is legitimate, where the phone number leads, if real photos are included from the physical location, whether the site is professionally done or a shoddy slap-together job, and if information written on the web pages contradicts itself. 4. Have you checked to ensure this person is part of the company’s staff (Call the company up, check LinkedIn, etc.)? 5. Have you made sure the company is registered in the state or country the scammer has mentioned? There are many professional sites designed to show these licences and certifications, so you can know whether a company is properly registered. Refer to question three’s answer for examples. 6. Have you checked how long the company has been established? 7. Is the grammar, spelling, etc. degrading over time as you interact? If so, it’s likely this person isn’t a legitimate HR representative, and you’ve pulled them off the script they’re following. No respectable American company employs someone who can’t communicate effectively and in proper English as part of their job recruitment department. 8. Is the scammer not willing to give you basic information, like company location? If so, then he or she is probably a scammer. 9. You’ve only been on for a few minutes, asking easy questions (like location), and they’re already brushing you off, claiming they have other interviews waiting, and they will get back to you with the information. You are supposed to be in an official interview. No hiring manager books multiple interviews at the same time, unless they have staff that are trained and can handle each case individually, before sending the results back up to him/her, so he/she can focus specifically on you. And questions, like specific location, are simple to answer for any experienced HR manager. 10. Is the email account associated with the company they claim to represent? Most scammers use a burn email, an account with random digits, numbers, or names that have nothing to do with the business they claim to represent. This is a big red flag, since most HR people have an email that’s associated with their company or can give you enough information to double check their credentials independently. 11. If they try to get your personal information, like address, phone number, bank info., etc. before answering your basic questions to check the legitimacy of their claims. NEVER give them ANY of these, until you have verified that they are legitimate. If they haven’t to your satisfaction, push back on getting the info you need, before you give yours. It helps, if you explain someone has tried to scam you before. This will make the HR agent more reasonable and understanding, if it’s legitimate. If it’s not, then the comment might throw the scammer off balance as he or she tries to assure you they aren’t another scammer. 12. Is the scammer offering you a larger-than-average salary? This is another tactic many would-be-scammers use to draw you in. While not always a definite giveaway, it is something that should raise your wariness and make you look for the other red flags in this post. 13. If you’ve called the scammer out on their behavior and they pull the pathetic card (AKA an appeal to emotion and empathy to try to justify their position, rather than answer the questions). In my case, the scammer used family ties, claiming to be an upstanding grandfather with five kids and ten grandchildren. That had nothing to do with the company or my questions about the company he claimed to represent. Don’t be fooled by this tactic, and DON’T FEEL GUILTY! This is your IDENTITY on the line. Keep those shields up. Even if you lose a potential job, it’s better in the long run to be cautious and safe, then to get scammed out of your hard-earned money or worse. 14. In the end, if you still haven’t budged, the scammer will try to make it seem like you’ve lost out on a big opportunity. In my case, after 13 happened, the scammer said since I wasn’t comfortable with the interview and felt like it wasn’t legitimate, he would remove all my information from their systems. The thing is, there WAS NO INFORMATION for him to have on file, other than my name and the email I used to contact him. Scammers will use the guilt from 13 and combine it with your greed or desperation for a good paying job to try to get you to reconsider. Don’t let them manipulate you like this.

If you’ve verified you have a scammer, contact the proper authorities. There are a variety of websites you can report to. You can also talk to your local police to get information on how best to handle the situation and who to report the incident to. Most job hiring sites have ways to catch these kinds of people, eventually, but they often require flaggers to notify them, before they know to act. That’s why we have law enforcement and various sites to report and warn about these people. Stay safe, fellow freelancers and net-goers. I hope these tips help you all. ~Omnitf

I HATE SCAMMERS!!!!! *ROARS*

TLDR Summary: Someone tried to scam me today. I caught them in the act. Google Hangouts has no means of flagging or reporting scammers or suspicious messages. Google needs to fix this immediately. See tips on catching red flags in scammers on my next post.

Seriously, it’s frustrating enough that a poor guy is trying to find some gainful employment in his skill set, but then he applies to a job that looks legit on Upwork. He gets a response on Upwork when he wakes up. It’s a welcome surprise.

He checks it on his phone and doesn’t receive any further instruction. Moment he signs in on his laptop, instant ping of message with instructions. ...

Suspicion rises. He reads the instructions and notes that the writer was EXCEPTIONALLY careful to make sure all references to google and gmail, etc. are made in a way not to ping any of the warning flags that automatically pop up asking you to keep your conversations in Upwork. The request is to hold the interview in google hangouts. With an email that is all numbers and a gmail account, without any sign of whatever company the person is supposed to represent. ... Going to code yellow. He proceeds, being willing to see where it goes, but is incredibly wary. The conversation starts off well and good. Good grammar and punctuation, good business manner. He asks about the company and its location. He is told to research it online, after being given a name. He does so, and finds multiple results for companies by that name. He returns and asks which one is being talked about, along with other points he seeks clarification on. ... And that’s when things start to fall apart. Grammar, punctuation, and spelling take a nose dive. The English is incredibly broken as the person struggles to answer the questions that have clearly taken him off script. ... Going code blue. ... The person claims they have other interviews waiting and must go tend them, asking our protagonist to stand by. He agrees, but is fairly certain this is a scammer now. He leaves for a time, discusses the situation with his family, and compares it to the last time someone tried to scam him in this manner. After enough pondering, he decides to pray, then flag the initial Upwork account for suspicious activity, only to find that by the time he gets back to the initial chatroom, that the account has already been barred. Someone else has already beaten him to the punch. He proceeds to explain this to the person on google hangouts. Guess what happened next? That’s right, instant ping of a message with a big CONGRATULATIONS! Basically, the message says that they have “closed” the Upwork account, the one that claimed to have been REPRESENTING a company, which means the two should not have been related, and this scammer should not have had the authority to end that account or close it in the first place. The message said those who received it were hired for the job. ... Skeptical self goes “Woohoo... Yay. I’m totally not convinced.” Our hero says as much to the chatter. Oh, and by the way, he signed out, after calling said scammer out earlier. Then, the instant he signed back in again to add a few final words, the message box pinged again with that message of congratulations. When our hero brings up his concerns in dishonesty, the scammer proceeds to say he is a grandfather with five children and ten grandchildren (at least I think it was ten. Some large number). Again, grammar errors. At this point, our hero is done. He says so, and that he’s not comfortable movin forward. The man claims he will “remove the information” taken from the hero. Yes, the nonexistent information that was never given. Just the name from the original application and the email used to open the contact. Once again, clear evidence of script. The departure was civil, and the protagonist tells the chatter if he is, indeed, the legitimate and honest man he claims to be, he should actually answer the questions and be upfront with the details. No HR representative would have brushed off those questions in an interview. I admit, I probably shouldn’t have said that, since I technically would have been giving advice to a scammer on how to improve, but I can’t help it. I like to think the best in people, unless I have enough evidence saying otherwise. So, yeah. I’m pissed at this. And I’m pissed Google Hangouts doesn’t have a flag or report function that LETS you report scammers. It’s why so many scammers try to get you on hangouts, in the first place. Watch yourselves, people. If someone asks you to interview on Hangouts, it’s probably a scam. Be very cautious, and look for the usual earmarks. I’ll include them in a separate post for you guys to use as you wish.