I Hate Waking Up And Being Ready To Just Go Back To Sleep Again. No Matter The Amount Of Sleep.

I hate waking up and being ready to just go back to sleep again. No matter the amount of sleep.

30 minutes

3 hours

13 hours

I've even pulled a 30+ before (that was due to medication mixup and was scary but anyway)

Doesn't matter. Always exhausted. Always ready to hunker down for nap/sleep. Years and years of fatigue. I barely remember what it was like to be hyper and energetic and bouncing around ready for adventures.

Now I'm only ever mentally pining for adventures knowing full well my body wouldn't let me go and if I went anyway it'd be the last anyone saw of me.

I need to interrupt this pitiful whining with the observation that my youngest's silhouette right at this moment looks like shinchan standing on the dining room chair particularly his head-cheek shape and well that's all carryon

T o E s

look at this photo i took of my cat its really important

:/

Slowly and carefully changes my bedding. Making sure to take my time and not over-exert in the slightest.

Heartrate almost in the 150s says WHAAAAAAAAAAATTT? 🫠

My bed is made. Here I disintegrate.

Good day.

Woke up drenched in sweat and nauseous yet again. Just miserable. I barely got down a half bowl of cereal and have been sipping liquid iv.

I feel so gross. So weak. My chest has hurt all morning. I couldn't sleep well the last 2 nights because of irregular heartbeat knocking the wind out of me.

I just want to shower. I just want to sleep.

Just had a flashback from a decade ago.

I was chillin with one of my good friends and he was snacking on peanut butter (spooning it out and just nommin) while we were sitting on his couch watching tv.

I looked at him. Looked at the jar. And in .02 seconds scooped a blob out with my hand.

*smack-a-roo*

Handful of pb to the face.

A delightful reminisce.

Zero impulse control that fateful night.