I Fought The Universe To Avoid You,

I fought the Universe to avoid you,

But the Universe laughed

And pummeled me to the ground.

When I stood up,

You were standing there.

I was so afraid of you, then.

Until you spoke.

Fear turned to calm.

Calm to warmth.

Warmth to excitement.

Excitement to

Heartbreak.

And you were gone.

Today is the last day I'm allowing myself to cry about you.

I wish I hadn't told my mom about you.

🫠🫠🫠

“I have learned that when sadness comes to visit me, all I can do is say “I see you.” I spend some time with it, get up, and say goodbye. I don’t push it away. I own it. And because I own it, I let it go.”

— Carolina Zacaria

You said you liked me, and I liked you, too.

It was refreshing to move slowly--to not rush into things. To ease into the physical affection and the romance.

Slow was what I needed.

The last person I dated SA'd me on our second date and acted like it was nothing. It was oh so familiar. My body remembers how to freeze like it always does.

You didn't do any of that, and I was so glad.

I know it's selfish to say this, but I wish I had more time with you. I wish that your feelings didn't change so swiftly.

I won't chase after you, though. I respect your decision.

Thank you for being kind to me.

Tonight I saw a really neat bird (a juvenile yellow-crowned night-heron), and I thought of you. I was super excited about it and got an awesome photo. I wish I had someone to share it with (someone who'd be equally as excited to see it).

One day, I'll find my person, and we'll be excited about all the little things together.