I Miss You And Your Idea Your Warmth, Your Presence, Your Fragrance When Enveloped By Absence, I Miss

I miss you and your idea your warmth, your presence, your fragrance when enveloped by absence, I miss you Today i miss you just like i did yesterday and i will miss you tommow just the same.

nocturne, excerpts from my journals

“She watched the stars collapse knowing that like her, they held onto their light for as long as they could.”

— Wilder

Seeing you used to make me feel warm.

But today, the thought of seeing you sent me into a dysregulated panic. I trembled uncontrollably and felt like I was going to pass out or throw up.

I don't feel safe around you anymore.

I fought the Universe to avoid you,

But the Universe laughed

And pummeled me to the ground.

When I stood up,

You were standing there.

I was so afraid of you, then.

Until you spoke.

Fear turned to calm.

Calm to warmth.

Warmth to excitement.

Excitement to

Heartbreak.

And you were gone.

I don't hate you.

I'm angry, I'm sad, and I feel betrayed. But I don't wish you any harm.

I wish for your healing.

I wish I hadn't told my mom about you.

🫠🫠🫠