How To Become The Smartest Woman In The Room

how to become the smartest woman in the room 💭

topics to study:

philosophy

languages

art history

literature

fine foods

classical music

history

architecture

psychology

political science

Go cry about it. Then come back stronger than ever.

Bad grade on a test? Go cry about it.

Got rejected? Go cry about it

Feeling left out? Go cry about it.

Listen, im not trying to make you feel upset or angry in anyway. I am genuinely telling you: if something has happened that is actually negatively impacting your life very strongly, GO CRY ABOUT IT. Express those feelings. Scream into your pillow. Punch your bed. Pour your thoughts onto paper then rip it up and burn it. Feel the feelings vividly.

But what about after that? Are you going to keep crying about it? Are you going to keep victimising yourself and feeling sorry for yourself? Yuck. Look girl, cry about it, then come back stronger than ever.

Like Haruki Murakami once said: “But we cannot simply sit and stare at our wounds forever.” He was right. We can cry and let the wounds hurt for a bit, but then we must get up.

Life moves on, so must we.

You can either make excuses, or make a way.

people say marriage isn’t a fairytale or that it won’t be perfect which I understand and agree with but honestly if he’s not my actual soulmate who I can experience true love and connection with I’d rather be single because otherwise I’d just be getting married for what? just for the sake of it to fulfil a societal expectation or something… some women talk about marriage like it’s such a chore and be like ‘you’ll understand when you get married’ well I don’t want to and I hope I never do

Thursday’s Watch.

How I got my life together.

Getting your life together, and I mean really getting it together, should be a priority of yours. You can’t miss out on your life by staying in a pattern of losing it all, pulling it together as quickly and as carelessly as you can, and then losing it all again because you weren’t ready enough or devoted the first time. I made a choice to pull my life together when I was 18, and I’ve stayed improving myself ever since; I bettered my mental health, fixed my body, changed my mindset, found an aesthetic and style that worked for me and that I loved, and have done my part to keep steadily improving my life and my mindset. If you are devoted to yourself and your life, you will do well and find that the path towards your future will become much clearer as time goes on.

Exercising.

You need to be exercising, bettering your body, and taking the time to nourish yourself and your health. This means eating whole meals and taking the time to cook and prepare them, considering removing heavily processed foods and alcohol from your day-to-day diet, and taking the time to do at home or in gym workouts. I do Move with Nicole videos in the morning, finish up with a quick yoga session, go to the gym in the evenings, and make sure that my body is being fueled by real foods and being properly hydrated throughout the day. You will live in the same body for the rest of your life; you need to make sure that you’re caring for it and nourishing it in ways that will let it support you for the rest of your life. You won’t regret a health journey, and you should actively be on one. 

Socializing.

Isolation will kill you, and if you already have anxiety, it will worsen it. You should be meeting people, getting to know them, leaving your comfort zone, and trying new things. Your late teens and early twenties are all about taking the time to know people, making and losing friends, and figuring out the sorts of people you want to have in your life forever. You have to socialize, go to social events, join clubs and different activities, and get out of the house. I’m a person who believes in spending time around and loving other people, and that has saved my life. If you aren’t sure how to socialize, don’t have friends, or aren’t sure of what you like, now’s the time to learn how. You don’t become good at meeting people in one day; it takes time and failure, but the more you do to leave your comfort zone, the easier it will become as time moves along.

Studying.

I believe that life is meant for learning. It’s important to always be learning, to always be bettering yourself, and to always be keeping your mind busy. While I strongly believe that every woman should have a university education and a degree, I understand that it’s not always feasible. If it’s not possible for you to get a degree, you have to learn a trade, a skill, a language, or find something to occupy your mind so that it’s not idle. It’s important to always be doing something, and it’s important that you’re pursuing a passion; life isn’t much if you’re not passionate about what you’re doing, so you have to find them and do more with them. Education can come from work experience; it can come from pursuing projects, cultivating wisdom, and spending your time nourishing your mind and reading books. Life is a learning experience, and you should be in constant pursuit of educational excellence. 

Seeing More.

Life is about seeing more and seeing things you’ve never experienced. If you’ve always wanted to watch a tennis match, step into the ocean, or see the sights in a new city, now’s the time to start making plans to do those things. We all deserve to see and experience beautiful things, so it’s important that we find the time to do so. If I hadn’t made the time to find beauty in the mundane, I wouldn’t have made it far. You don’t have to spend money pursuing beauty; I find the most beauty I’ve seen in my life is found on short walks and time spent around my city. You should spend your time both looking for beauty and becoming beautiful too.

Doing More.

Doing more is next. I’ve spent my life trying new things, failing, succeeding, having a good time, and learning about what I enjoy. You should be doing more; your twenties are for moving away, visiting new cities, trying new foods, working jobs you hate and finding jobs you love, going to new restaurants and getting into new relationships, and doing more with yourself. All of the greatest women I’ve ever known have told me that they spent next to no time resting in their twenties because they had so much life to live. I’d encourage you to do things without holding yourself back, and if you don’t know what to do with yourself, find things to do. You can't waste your youth being idle; now is the time to get out of your room, see the world and what it has to offer, and do more with yourself and your gifts.

Richarlotte x

essential soft skills for personal excellence

+ emotional intelligence: the ability to understand emotions (yours + others) with empathy and how they impact behaviour. without it you are liable to be defensive, self-centred, and experience a feeling of disconnection (from self + others).

+ resilience: how well you react when something bad happens. do you fall apart or can you navigate challenges without setting yourself back?

+ critical thinking: the ability to slow down and approach ideas with rational intelligence so that you can make thoughtful, considered decisions instead of impulsive, reactive ones.

+ adaptability: remaining flexible to the circumstances and cultivating the ability to deal with change (see also: resilience). can be more difficult if neurodivergent; they key is to be gentle + forgiving with yourself.

+ (healthy) self-discipline: doing what you need to do regardless of whether you 'feel like it' (see also: emotional intelligence, so that you're not ruled by your emotional state). remember that you can cultivate healthy discipline with gentle nurture that builds confidence over time, rather than toxic discipline that uses shame, fear, and punishment.

+ self worth: continuously building the foundational idea that you are worthy of the good life. without self worth, most attempts at self-improvement start with grandiose ideas of huge change and result in broken promises, difficulty sticking to goals, and a spiralling shame cycle.