It Physically Pains Me To Hide The Work I Commissioned From @kidclampdown For The Project. I Was Sent

It physically pains me to hide the work I commissioned from @kidclampdown for The Project. I was sent multiple progress shots throughout and somehow the end result is more beautiful and richly-coloured than I could have possibly anticipated. If you’ve got an ounce of sense in you and some pocket change (seriously, d.w. criminally undercharges for incredible work) then you should absolutely get a piece of art custom-made for you.

I need some help identifying a GBHE which accosted me recently while I was attempting to pick paw-paws near a creek. The Heron, apparently offended by the shaking of trees necessary to gather paw-paws, attacked me mostly by kicking me in a startling but largely ineffectual manner. The kicks were too graceful for a Gross Blue Heron, but a Gorgeted Heron would surely be better armed. Racial profiling is rampant in my area and I am reluctant to report the incident without all my details in order.

note: the events of this ask are not fictional and i am willing to pay for assistance in the form of paw-paws

I would first like to congratulate your keen instincts! Bribing me with fresh in-season fruit is in fact the ideal way to expedite any and all inquiries here at The Academy of Bird Sciences. Please get in touch with me for shipping details.

That said, you’ve not given me a lot to work with for this identification! The azure ardeids are incredibly diverse, comprising something like one out of every four in the Family as a whole. Photos go a LONG way towards helping differentiate species. If you don’t have easy access to a camera, a short essay of about one kiloword is commonly accepted as equivalent.

Now that I’ve got all of the disclaimers and administrivia out of the way, I am of a mind to say you encountered a juvenile Guerrillous Blue Heron (which must never ever be confused with the much better-tempered Garrulous Blue Heron). Because you’ve promised me fresh fruit, I’ll push back the other birds I had on slate this week and do a quick writeup for you.

Live too far away for fresh fruit bribes to be effective? Support me on Patreon!

The third-cleverest of all the fishes, Salmon have developed a unique style of feeding. Rather than hunt underwater as normal, these fish will precariously perch on the edge of waterfalls and simply wait for the annual migration of grizzlies to arrive. Exhausted by chasing each other up waterfalls, the sodden bears make an easy meal for these intelligent icthyids.

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I am super stoked about this!!! This is the first I think actual factual non-commissioned art inspired by my work here at The Academy of Bird Sciences.

HOWEVER

(she says, pedantically)

It appears you’ve accidentally drawn a Gorgeted Blue Heron instead! The giveaway was the fact that it’s holding a sword; Gross Blue Herons use short clubs or their own bodies because it makes their racially-targeted violence more ‘personal’. Gorgeted Blue Herons on the other hand are all about martial appearances, cleaving to more ‘elegant’ instruments of warfare.

Don’t feel too bad about this sort of misidentification! It happens all the time among field interns, no doubt in part because the Alpha codes all resolve down to GBHE.

Night shift doodle! How better to represent the Gross Blue Heron than with the V of Swords. He’ll take everything you have and doesn’t even feel a little sorry. Inspired by @maverick-ornithography​.

Where is the little Facebook button on your posts so I can share your words of wisdom with the aviary masses??

If you are reading on Birdscience.org instead of through the Tumblr dashboard, you should see three dots at the bottom of every entry. Click on them, and it should show a bunch of ways to share the post across a variety of platforms. Here, have an informative .gif specially made just for you!

First described by famously colourblind zoologist Carl Linnaeus, the Grey Phalarope can be distinguished from other Phalaropes by their rusty grey feathers and banana-grey beak with a black tip. With a diet consisting of equally-drab insects and small crustaceans, these wholly unremarkable birds spend their lives blending in with their surroundings.