In One Of The Most Stunning Losses Of Recent History, Richard Thompson Is Now Declared Extinct. The Possibility

In one of the most stunning losses of recent history, Richard Thompson is now declared extinct. The possibility was announced at the close of July, but it took a full month for official confirmation to occur. On 27 August at a well-attended conference in Washington, DC, several of the leading researchers on this one-of-a-kind specimen offered their insights and anecdotes about the unique and unfailingly gracious life that he lived. There are no words that can describe how monumental the loss of this rare bird, how deeply it affects the natural order of the world. I can’t stop crying. If you can, please donate to help fund Parkinson’s research.

One of the more well-known aspects of Zoroastrianism is the ‘sky burial’, where your body is placed on top of a tower and left for carrion birds to devour. As it is a religious ceremony it might be covered under the First Amendment but please check your local ordinances before leaving your corpse on a tower as the Health Department may take issue and it is a pain getting building permits in the first place. ‘Best’ is a very relative term, birds have digestive systems to suit their various diets. Lammergeiers are capable of dissolving bones, Turkey Vultures have acids powerful enough that diseases are killed by it, and the less said about Chickadees the better. That is a question more suited to @blurds but I can tell you first-hand it is harrowing and you do not ever want to experience it. As remarked upon by scholars Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J in their treatise Miracles, Pelicans can and will attempt to engulf you and your personal property in their hellish expansible maws. Do not seek out Pelicans, for they are already seeking out you. Do Not Feed Yourself To Birds Please Everybody Stop Asking Me How

I am 100% willing to stake my professional reputation as the Lead Ornithographist for The Academy of Bird Sciences on the fact that the bird pictured above is incorporeal and furthermore that leucism is in fact a fraud perpetuated by the so-called ‘scientific’ community.

Animals live or die by their coloration; white animals only exist in areas with intense snowfall, and even then the coloration tends towards seasonal and not year-round and is used primarily for camouflage. Most non-scientists are aware of this fact, and can explain trivially how animals that don't blend in with their environment are easily spotted. As a consequence, any animal that stands out will be at much higher risk of predation.

Surely that should be enough to debunk this "leucism" business, but there is one exception to this law of nature. Albinism is an actual variation of natural colours; it is a genetic anomaly which renders the animal incapable of producing pigment. This can be ruled out in the Phantom Hummingbird pictured above, however, as the eyes are not the characteristic pink seen so often in albino creatures. It is also not a bird species known for seasonal colour variation, so you can't say it is winter camouflage either.

Really, the only conclusion left is that the bird pictured is in fact a ghost. I'll grant that it runs counter to "established" animal lore but quite frankly? Classification errors are made all the time by scientists on the bleeding edge of practically any field of study. At most I will be willing to grant that the above bird has suffered from exposure to the afterlife and has with the shock lost all of the colour from their feathers. Life often looks like death when it has encountered it so intimately, after all.

But honestly, I just wanted to clear the air on this and defend the TABS field interns who work so hard to bring this information to the world in the first place. Lots of people say they are interested in learning cool new things, but very few are willing to do the actual fieldwork necessary to expand our knowledge of the world. Overall though there are just enough people willing to doubt the given explanations by the so called 'learned establishment' that we can continually advance our understanding of the universe. Glad I had the opportunity to address this; for more information please refer to the first letter in every sentence of this response.

Once believed to be local superstition, Phantom Hummingbirds have been confirmed to exist. Incapable of direct interaction with the physical plane, these etherial flappers nevertheless show aggression towards more conventionally-present hummingbirds. Whether this is due to perceived slights in their previous life or simple envy over the ability to drink nectar, nobody knows.

Patreon! It’s a thing, and The Academy of Bird Sciences needs your help to stay open.

Famously discovered by leading ornithartisan Andrew Smith, Wallcreepers can be found congregating near sites of hope-tinged grief and placid turmoil. Preliminary studies suggest these “little worries” can detect the resonant traces of human emotion, though the exact mechanism remains undiscovered. For more information and original artworks, please visit www.littleworries.com

if you don’t love newspaper spider-man with all your heart then honestly fite me irl (x)

semi-legitimate question: is Swooping behavior common to Magpies in general or possibly even other birds? I live in the North American Great Lakes Region and for several years now, whenever I mow my yard I am accosted by an unidentified avian from around mid-spring until nearly fall. It specifically seems to hate the lawnmower as my family is able to move around the yard on foot unmolested and the behavior lasts much longer than it would if it were defending it's offspring. How do I make peace?

Semi-legitimate answer: I’m not a comparative ornithosociodynamicist so I can’t speak as to the difference between swooping and Swooping, but in your case it sounds like less of a nest protection stratagem and more a way to drive off a perceived predator. I am also not a terribly good ornithobehaviourotomist so take the following advice with a grain of salt.Without further information I can’t really speak as to what might ameliorate the animosity, but you seem to have narrowed it down to the lawnmower being the root cause. Did you buy it second-hand from someone who claims it ‘fell off the back of a truck’? If so the lawnmower might actually belong to the bird and they are doing their level best to reclaim stolen property. If the mower has an explosion engine, it’s very possible that the bird is attempting to enforce avian noise ordinances and/or suffers from migraines so you should switch to a generally much quieter and environmentally-friendly electric mower.Worst-case scenario is you’ve stumbled on one of the few birds who not only eschew modern technology but also attempt to force this ideology on others, in which case your peaceful recourses are to get a pushmower, landscape your yard so as to minimize the necessity of mowing in the bird-enforced territory (personally I suggest a fruit and vegetable garden), or you could simply wait until the bird moves out or dies of natural causes.