Reality Checklist

Reality Checklist

Continuing my Jaehyun writings with this angsty piece, inspired by UNIQUE's "Reality Checklist."

I can't help but write him this way; I know he's going to act this out so well. Let's manifest Actor Jaehyun for 2022!

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

POV: 3rd person

Word count: 502 words

Additional notes: If this is your first time reading my work, welcome! However, I'll be linking some writing that is in the same timeline like this one since it's part of one of my many unfinished series. Feel free to read those first or read them after this.

Warning: Uh, there's some suggestive content here.

---

He never thought it would affect him like this.

As Jaehyun took another swig of whiskey, he groaned at the thought that he was actually in love. He fell in love with the girlfriend of his best friend, and he risked everything to be with her.

He was currently in a hotel room abroad for a project, and he looked at his room in disdain. It reminded him they had a fancy dinner at a hotel and fucked afterward.

He remembered the way her teeth grazed on his dick and how delightfully painful it was for him. He took another swig of his drink before fishing out a carton of cigarettes in his pocket.

He was never one to smoke often, but tonight felt like the perfect time to do so. He would channel all his thoughts into the smoke he would let out, and hopefully, he could forget about her.

He knew he was a player, but it wasn’t explicitly known by anyone who didn’t know him personally. However, he didn’t show this side to her. She was one of the people he wanted to have, but he never thought he would be invested in her.

Most of the relationships he had were very brief due to his schedule, and most of the time, it was all about fucking. He needed that release, like most guys his age.

But when he met her, especially when they got to know each other better, he observed her well. He knew how to make her ideal coffee, he knew that she didn’t like it when he wore his cap backward, and he knew that she liked to be eaten out. He knew everything there is to know about her, compared to the other women he had been with.

Was there a thrill in being with someone who was taken already? Maybe so, he told himself, as he put out the third stick he was smoking.

His mind now raced to thoughts of how things would have turned out if he got to her first than his best friend. Would he be this observant? Would he care for her more than his ex-lovers?

“Fuck this,” he groaned for the umpteenth time, eyeing the now-empty bottle of whiskey beside him. “I should forget about her. She made her choice already. It’s not me, and it’s never been me.”

He stood up, drawing open the curtains to his dark room. It was already nighttime, and he looked at the bright and bustling cityscape. He has already seen this scenery a couple of times in different countries, and he would usually find this beautiful.

But now, he felt empty. Everyone was moving, yet here he was, still in his thoughts.

He took out his phone in his other pocket and scrolled through the numbers in his contacts. He dialed a number and pressed his phone to his ears.

“Hey, I heard you can get me someone for the night. Can you find me one by 10:30 p.m.? Thanks.”

---

FIN

Angst fics can help people come to terms with their own grief, begin healing, or give people that good cry that they need.

Smut fics can help people affirm and accept their sexuality. It can help them explore their sexuality in a safe way. They can also just be fun, and having fun is a drastically undervalued way to improve your mental health.

Dark fics can help people face their fears or process their trauma. It can make them feel safer and more secure. It can help them find their courage.

Fluff fics can give people rest and respite and comfort. It can give them hope that soft places exist and that maybe there is one out there for them. It can bring up their mood, which, if they have depression, can be a life saver.

And every fic people write makes someone feel less alone.

Point being, just because a particular thing doesn’t serve you, doesn’t mean it lacks value.

This is not to say that we have to consume all fic uncritically. Of course not. It is just to say that entire “genres” aren’t trash or lacking value just because they don’t serve you.

Dangerous, B-side

Listening to the same song repeatedly can give you different outputs, but this was my initial draft to Dangerous.

I still wanted to share this since I like the tension between Essie and Jaehyun here, so I hope you enjoy this one.

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

POV: 2nd person

Word count: 1,040 words (Wow, it's longer than what I've been writing lately lol)

Additional notes: Like with the previous post, I'll be linking some writing that connects to this one.

Warning: Suggestive themes ahead!

---

You knew it would be dangerous to be near Jeong Jaehyun.

You knew the power he held – he was one of the most handsome men you’ve met, and you knew you could give in to anything he asked you to do.

At first, you didn’t really mind him. You were focused on turning down the flirtatious attempts of his best friend, Johnny Suh, who decided to let you know how memorable you were to him when he saw you in Starbucks.

But when you and Johnny decided to become friends, Jaehyun was the first person in his circle of friends that you got to know better.

He was the perfect gentleman, and you appreciated that. You thought he would be a cocky bastard who would use his handsome privileges.

As you got to know more of Johnny’s friends, you didn’t get to hang around Jaehyun that much. But when you did, you started to feel weird around him. Were his looks and gestures getting to you?

You were conflicted since you were also starting to develop feelings for Johnny, despite the not-so-ideal start of your friendship.

You never thought you would feel like this again – falling for two people at the same time. It was bad, but in the end, it was your choice on who you wanted to get together with.

One of the most unforgettable moments you had with Jaehyun was when he kissed you at a party. Your ex was one of the attendees, and you asked him to hide you. He misheard you and pecked you on the lips.

You couldn’t remember what happened after – were you too drunk to recall if you two have already done it? You shut your eyes, trying to recall as much as you could. No, your body didn’t ache when you got home, and you had a good night’s rest.

As you watched Jaehyun grill meat with Taeyong, you couldn’t help but think if you ended up with him instead.

You had shared interests – you loved vinyl records, and you loved drinking wine. You liked his music selection better than Johnny’s, and he was very chill to talk to. He seemed such a calm person who would perfectly complement your feisty personality.

“Penny for your thoughts, Essie?” He asked, flashing you his trademark dimpled smile. “Oh, it’s nothing,” you mumbled, looking away to recover from the embarrassment you felt at looking at him for too long.

“Hey baby, can you help me with this?” You heard Johnny ask from across the room, and you crossed over to where he was. You were thankful he asked you for help because you needed to distract yourself from such tempting thoughts.

You had dinner with Johnny and his friends in your apartment since it’s been a while since all of them got together. Almost everyone had solo projects, and most of them got back to the country recently.

“If someone deserves a solo, it’s you,” Johnny said to Jaehyun, pointing his chopsticks for emphasis.

“Yeah, we agree,” Taeyong and Doyoung chimed in. Everyone else in the room nodded in approval, even you.

Oh, the thought of Jaehyun singing sexy R’n’B songs excited you so much that you felt the familiar wetness on your underwear.

You cursed yourself at this thought and decided to eat more kimchi to forget that sensation.

“Thanks, guys. Maybe soon, I’ll get that project,” Jaehyun said, ears red with embarrassment. Since he was sitting beside you, you were tempted to stroke his red ear and feel how hot it was.

“I’m sure you will; we just have to wait,” you squeaked, slowly looking up from the bowl you have been focusing your attention on.

“Aw, thanks. That means a lot to me, Essie,” his voice was so soft that you thought you were the only one who heard it. Maybe it was really meant for you.

When you looked up from your bowl, he gave you a heartwarming smile. You smiled back, and he touched your wrist. “I look forward to your support, dear,” he whispered.

You could only nod at his response, your body heating up from his touch. You looked away again to see if anyone was observing your interaction but saw that everyone else was involved in their conversations.

It was as if the world stopped, and only you and Jaehyun were having this intimate conversation.

“You keep on looking away from me tonight; is there something on my face that you don’t want to tell me?”

You didn’t expect his words, and when you looked back at him, he tightened the grip on your wrist.

“No, there isn’t anything wrong with your face, Jay! What makes you think there is?” You were beyond flustered, and you could feel your breathing become ragged.

“You aren’t usually like this when we talk,” he loosened his grip now, “and I like it better when the people I talk to can look at me directly on the face.”

You sat up straight and stared at his face. You saw the bags on his under eyes becoming darker and the pimple patches around his nose. When he smiled, you saw there was one more pimple patch underneath his lip.

“Well, fine. You look stressed. I believe you don’t get pimples, yet here you are, wearing pimple patches to a dinner.” You deadpanned, pointing at the patches around his face.

He laughed at your words and swatted your hand away. “It’s normal to have pimples, but I never thought I’d start breaking out now.”

“Don’t be too stressed. You know it’s bad for the health,” you said before going back to eating. “You should take your advice too, honey,” Jaehyun chuckled and mimicked what you were doing.

You rolled your eyes as he also reached for the plate of meat you were holding. “Yeah, you don’t have to remind me of that. Now please, can I have some meat?”

“Jaehyun! Are you teasing Essie?” You heard Johnny comment, probably because he saw how irked you were. Jaehyun let go of the plate of meat and watched you take it for yourself.

No one answered Johnny’s question, and the night continued with everyone catching up on their endeavors.

---

FIN

P.S. That was a lame-ass ending, but my mind stopped working after that. I had to get the tension out of the way hehe.

Burnout Teaser, B-Side

I'm the type of writer who gets triggered to write something because of a song.

This is one of them, which I'm not sure if I'll include in the official timeline of Burnout. What do you think?

Mahal ko kayong lahat!

POV: 2nd person

Word count: 479 words

Additional notes: Italics are parts of the letter Y/N is reading.

---

I’m the only motherfucker in the city who can handle and stand you.

That familiar line has been used on you, and you never thought it would make you cry. You loved the stripped-down version of that song, and you jokingly dedicated it to him.

He even played the song for you on the piano in a drunken state. He was never one to play the instrument often, “but for you darling, I’ll do it all again,” he slurred with a dopey grin on his face while looking at you then. You remembered returning the same smile before bursting into laughter. This happened during a party in New York that both of you crashed into, and you told him that you had no regrets about doing this. He agreed and then decided to do it again next week.

Fuck it. You couldn’t help but be reminded of how the both of you were so inseparable. The memories you had together were too vivid, beautiful, and felt like they came from an A24 movie. The tears that continued to fall felt hot on your face, but you had to carry on reading the rest of the letter.

I might not be the only person to claim that now, but I wish that the next motherfucker who will love you not turn out like me.

I hope your future partner will give you everything you have always wanted and make you feel satisfied. I also pray that you have a good future ahead.

I don’t know if this is how you wanted closure, but I hope this wraps up things between us. I loved you, Y/N. I will never forget that. But life happens. We feel things. We do things. We hurt. We never mean to, but it’s not always how the other person sees it. And I sincerely apologize again for everything.

If you think this letter brought upon more questions, I leave it up to you if you want to reach out to me. Not that I’m discouraging you, but you call the shots. I might be there, or I might not be. The future is very unpredictable.

Well, I guess that’s it. Thank you, Y/N. Goodbye.

You shut your eyes as you read the last words of his letter. Did this answer everything that had been running in your mind since he left? Will this closure help you completely move on from him?

You folded the paper hastily back into the envelope and threw yourself in your bed. It had been only a day since you got back, and then you got this surprise. Feelings that you had locked away in a chest deep in your heart resurfaced, and you promised yourself that you were okay now. But you really weren’t.

Johnny Suh still had a deep impact on you, and he was the best you ever had.

---

FIN

Biohazard

Johnny Suh can make the funniest faces look like he’s flirting. Case in point: 

What does that have to do with this post? And what’s up with the title? I guess you have to read on to find out why. I’m such a tease, but let me have that moment from time to time. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: This is the last fluff generator-inspired post for now, and it comes from this prompt: 

Essie bakes Johnny cookies out of love. Unfortunately Johnny is pretty sure these cookies are a biohazard.

POV: 3rd person

Word count: 1,300 + words

–––

This week was particularly tiring for Johnny – he was busy with work as a DJ. He was invited to be a guest DJ at a popular radio station for a whole week and even played some tunes after each session. Sure, it might pay a lot, but it can be exhausting to be up at 11 in the evening and end the day around the wee hours of the morning.

Because of this stint, he wasn’t able to hang out with his girlfriend lately. Essie worked regular hours – 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. – and when she came home, he was taking his second nap for the day. She would rest around 9 p.m., and he always ended up seeing her sleeping form on her bed. It pained him that she didn’t want to sleep on his bed without him in it.

“I’ll sleep on my bed for the meantime, okay? Please don’t take it personally,” she told him one time, with a sheepish smile on her face.

As much as he respected her wish, all he wanted was for her to sleep on his bed, so he could smell her scent when he went to sleep at six in the morning.

Essie would leave the house at five in the morning, and he was just on his way home. There were times that he offered to drive her to work, but she declined.

“You’re too tired already, I’ve got this,” she said softly, squeezing his hand.

He didn’t sound convinced, but once again, he had to respect her decision. He felt as if she wasn’t interested in their relationship anymore, but he was incorrect.

In fact, his girlfriend wanted to make it up to him by baking something. She had been looking at cookie recipes as of late and wanted to recreate them, even if she hasn’t baked them before.

She knew he would appreciate her effort even though she isn’t a great cook.

As soon as Essie got home from work on Friday, she got down to baking matcha chocolate chip cookies. She even hid her supplies so she could truly surprise him.

Johnny left early since he had to pick up Doyoung at his place. Sorry, you won’t see my handsome figure here tonight, but I’ll make it up to you this weekend! Love you baby princess~ was his message on a neon pink sticky note posted on the fridge.

She smiled as she pocketed the note in the pocket of her apron. His message motivated her to make the best cookies ever, which she hoped was the case. She rolled the sleeves of her shirt and shouted “Let’s get it!” like what their friends liked to say.

\\\

Essie wasn’t sure if what she made was edible or not. The cookies she baked were comically huge, a bit too hard, almost burnt, and the matcha kind of looked like mold. But when she took a bite, they were passable. It wasn’t too sweet nor too bitter. It didn’t taste like burnt batter either.

“I hope he’ll like this,” she mumbled to no one in particular as she shoved them in a pretty box.

As soon as she was done with her baking, she went to sleep. In her dreams, she felt bad that she didn’t even turn on the radio for the past few days to listen to Johnny. She tossed and turned in her sleep, feeling like a failure of a girlfriend.

And of course, she had to show off her nonexistent baking skills to make it up to him.

This woke her up, and she cried, frustrated at how his schedule was slowly tearing them apart. When she walked to the fridge to throw out the cookies that she made, she saw Johnny holding the box she put them in.

Her eyes widened in shock, not used at how early he was. She checked the clock, and it was 5:30 a.m.

“Hey baby, you’re up early. Go back to sleep,” he said, approaching her with the box of cookies she made. She eyed it with disdain, which he noticed. “Something wrong with this?” He placed the box on the table, and she could only sigh in response.

“I hope you like them. It’s my first time baking cookies so…” She sat on the chair across him, fiddling with her fingers so she couldn’t look at his expression.

“Is that so? How cute of you!” He cooed, using the cute voice he liked to do when talking to children. She felt her cheeks grow warm and covered it with both hands.

As she heard him unbox the cookies, she wanted to crawl back into her bed and hide in the covers. He didn’t deserve to eat these mediocre cookies, but she also wanted him to feel that she was making an effort to keep their relationship afloat.

“Baby…what the hell is this?”

The tone of his voice scared her, and she buried her face deeper in her hands.

“Those are supposed to be matcha chocolate chip cookies…” she mumbled.

“They look like a biohazard, baby. Are you sure it’s safe enough to eat?” She heard his footsteps walk closer to her, and he gently removed her hands from her face. He let her see her creation, and she cringed at it.

“I did my best, okay? I just wanted to make it up to you by creating something out of scratch…” She said with her eyes closed, tears threatening to fall from them.

When she heard him take a bite, she took a peek and saw an indescribable look on his face. She couldn’t decipher if he found her creation delicious or terrible. He took another bite with his eyes closed, chewing the cookie carefully.

“So…how was it?” she asked cautiously, her eyes glued on his face. It looked like he could cry at any moment as well.

“Passable, baby. The cookie’s a bit too hard, and I couldn’t taste the matcha that much,” he said as he took another bite.

She sighed in relief and relaxed on her seat, watching him finish the cookie on his hand. Once he did, he wiped his hands on his jeans and returned the box in the fridge.

“You’ll have to learn how to properly bake with me, okay? Why don’t we do it later?”

He picked her up from her seat and carried her bridal-style, which startled her. She wrapped her arms around his neck awkwardly and nodded. He kissed her forehead before he adjusted his hold on her since one wrong move on his part, or she would fall on the floor. She sensed his intention and helped him by pushing herself higher so his hands can carry her comfortably.

“You’re sleeping on my bed today since I’m back,” he whispered too closely to her ear, making her flinch. “You don’t have to do that,” she grumbled, loosening her hold on his neck.

“But I want to. And I know you missed this,” he teased as he even breathed down her neck. “Younghooooo!” She squealed, her face red in embarrassment. He laughed at her reaction and readjusted her once more in his arms as they approached his room.

“Let’s sleep now, okay? I’m ready to call it a night,” he said as he carefully placed her on his bed. “At least now I get to cuddle with my favorite plushie!” With that, he jumped on the bed and tackled her.

Essie felt defeated but in a good way – she knew she couldn’t do anything but accept his love by being the big baby that he still is.

They slept in each other’s arms – she was in her pajamas while he was still clad in his turtleneck and jeans.

He was so tired that he didn’t mind that his girlfriend’s cookies didn’t taste that great – he was happy that she still loves him and would do something out of her comfort zone to show her affection.

He felt like the luckiest man alive, but now, luck would be put aside for his much-needed rest.

–––

FIN

P.S. The face he makes in the GIF is something I imagine the look he’d react to Essie’s ‘biohazard’ cookies, and then he’ll wink at her for her effort and cuteness.  

My heart goes to these men.

Foreign Swaggers forever!

THE CEO, THE MANAGER, & THE INTERN