I Dont Know What Went Wrong With Me A Few Years Ago. But Since Then I Feel A Neverending Emptiness In

I don‘t know what went wrong with me a few years ago. But since then I feel a neverending emptiness in my heart.

After surviving year for year and beeing on the right way to focus on myself and get a litte bit happier and confidence with the emptiness, you came into my life.

You fixed all in me which was broken in the past and you had teared down the walls I had built up to protect myself. It was okay for me, you have showed me how beautiful the life can be with someone who is loving you.

But after I found myself again, you left without a reason. You forgot about me and immediately looked for someone new.

You left an even bigger emptiness inside me that can never be filled again. You made me more broken than I could ever have imagined.

But I have no choice, I have to move on and I am afraid I‘ll never be happy again.

staring at the "I think it's best if we stop talking" text I sent as I'm crying my eyes out knowing damn well I don't wanna live without him but it's for the best..

I keep asking myself, when did I take a wrong turn? When did I become who I am?

I grew up in a good family, I was brought up independently and could always count on my family. I have both feet on the ground and don't have to be afraid of the future.

But what went wrong?

When did I start struggling so much to pretend to be strong in front of my friends and family, when all I'm doing is breaking inside?

I don't know what I've done and why I'm no longer allowed happiness and contentment.

Before I met you, I swore to myself that I’d never let anyone into my life again. Of all the disappointments in the time before I’d you, I have brought myself back to my old strength. And then you suddenly showed up and I was happy. You brought me back from the hole I was stuck in, even if it was hard at the beginning. You showed me how happy a person can be, how calm the voices in my head can become when we‘re together. And then you let me fall deeper than I’ve could‘ve imagined. How do I get out of here? Will I ever be happy again?

I only make mistakes, fall in love too quickly. I fall to pieces a little more everyday.

And then they will leave you ..

“How do you know someone is for you? They bring peace you haven’t found anywhere else. They support your effort. They water your growth.”

— Unknown