Leebythegods - Ur Dad

a portrait of the self in space \\ cmartine

Derealisation is a jarring and frustrating experience that can be extremely difficult to recover from. What are your experiences with feelings of detachment from reality?

.

.

.

I feel like every person, for some reason or another, will have an experience of derealisation in their lives. Derealisation is defined as ‘a mental state where you feel detached from your surroundings’. During this, reality might feel distant, like you are outside of your head and watching yourself or like you are seeing the world through a filter or film-like haze.

For me derealisation has always come with a busy, yet empty feeling. Reality becomes painfully bright and loud and it feels as though I am seeing the world with extreme sharpness- but at the same time all that overwhelming business is hazy, inconsistent and incomprehensible. Nothing feels articulate or tangible. I question whether I and anything around me is actually real, or if I’m dreaming or possibly even dead.

I created this illustration after a very jarring and overwhelming episode of derealisation. I’d been in a social situation that required my attention and conscious participation but I was so scatterbrained and overwhelmed that I struggled to even respond to my name. I was so unaware of my own body that I was clumsy and uncoordinated, and I couldn’t produce a single coherent thought through the haze. All I could do was find a quiet spot and try to draw my experience to help me process it. This illustration, a portrait of the self in space, was the outcome of that. I think it might be my most accurate representation of an overwhelming experience yet.

Need help from some willing punks !

I want to be punk; and not just in aesthetic and style. I've come to realise how tired and disturbed I am of my own complacency and the staggering lack of change i see around me, in the larger world and in my local communities. I know what i want to see, i feel strongly about what needs to be done, but i am without the bite and information and the know-how to feel i can do much.

I need all the punk you can throw at me. I need literature and media around punk ethos, punk politics, around punk action. I need to feel like i can put some bite behind my desire for change.

I've started my own slow research and teaching myself around anti-corporatism, environmentalism, anti-authoritarianism, im deepening my understanding of the massive reach and impact of capitalism. But it mever feels like enough.

Please any punk who sees this send everything and anything my way. I need to start feeling like i can do something

one thing about adhd is I don't have habits there is no such thing as something being like brushing teeth in the morning for me I forget to do that too. if my body wouldn't be able to do the breathing thing automatically I would be dead by now

having a ponder about being aromantic and the kinds of friendships or qprs I might want to have

omfg i forgot that i never showed tumblr my greatest achievement. my pride and joy, my pi-ass de résistance

Well now you know I have to ask- why do you hate liberals?

Ok so the main issue is their support of capitalism. Capitalism exploits workers, greatly exploits the global south, gives capitalists (the people that own capital not the supporters of capitalism) way more than they could ever hope to work for. Literally look up the numbers on bezos and other billionaires it’s ridiculous. There’s a LOT more on capitalism but that’s enough for this post.

Besides their support of the system that exploits us, they fail to understand the connections between capital and the state. They’ll say things like “vote with your dollar” without realizing that people with more dollars get more votes. On a larger scale this means governments are going to side with capital. The nature of power structures is to centralize like this.

Liberals will say they support bipoc and queer folk without caring to change the power structures oppressing us. Sure they’ll sell rainbow pins on Etsy but they aren’t going to address the structural changes that need to be made to protect queer people. Sure they’ll support black artists but we can’t do anything about the prison industrial complex. Maybe putting even more cops on the streets will help /s

So much of what they do is performative. Look we painted Black Lives Matter on a street. We solved racism. Look all the corporations used rainbow logos for a month. Homophobia and transphobia have been defeated. Like at least you sound like you want change but only enough to keep enough people happy so the status quo doesn’t change.

Last point I’ll mention is that liberals always expect compromise. One side is fighting for their rights and the other wants that side dead. Liberals come in saying come on guys let’s be civil here. Surely there’s some compromise we can come to. My existence and the rights of others are not up for debate. Compromise is what got us the three fifths rule where African Americans were counted as 3/5 of a person. Compromise gets us the 13th amendment which outlawed slavery except in cases of s crime. Which then leads to the prison industrial complex and the prison population of today. Compromise is what gave the right the Supreme Court, ending abortion rights for millions of people.

That’s a good portion of why I don’t like liberals. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.