I Don't Want Your Attention,I Don't Want Your Pity,I Just Want To Go HomeBack To The People I Love

I don't want your attention, I don't want your pity, I just want to go home Back to the people I love

me right now

I miss my family, I love them more than anything

I realized it’s way too late for me to say this, I’ve always been a bad daughter and sister, I never made my parents proud, always fighting with my siblings, taking things for granted, I’m just a stupid, selfish, spoiled, ungrateful little bitch, and I just now realized how much I love my family, it’s only been three days since I moved out, but I miss them so much it hurts, I want to see them, hug them, tell them how much I love them

I miss my dad’s crappy jokes, it’s not even that funny but I always laughing my lungs out every time he made a joke, I miss his big warm hug he always give me when he came home, I miss the times we argued and late at night he always came to apologized to me and kiss me, I miss his scolding and sarcasm, I miss him so much it’s not even funny anymore

I miss my mom’s sweet words when she’s comforting me, I miss her small figure I always hug at random times, I miss kissing her before I went to school, I miss her telling me that it’s going to be alright every time I messed up my grades, that she will always believe in me, I miss her pouting face when all of us ganged up to tease her, i miss her scolding me for not eating, god I just want to see her again

I miss my stupid little brother’s annoying antics, I miss him crying out to me about his school and friends, and then we would talk for hours and make fun of our school, we study at the same school, I miss the times when we had to go home from school alone, I miss his teasing, he always teased me about my height and weight, my fashion sense, my guy friend that he also knows, my favorite character in anime or games, I miss him being noisy while playing online games, and I miss the times he yelled at me for being noisy, he’s at his dorm now and I can’t see him, you could never imagine how much I miss him right now

I miss my selfish little sister’s loud voice when she sings k-pop, in our bedroom, in the shower, everywhere, I miss the time when we were watching the night sky on the roof, I miss singing in a ridiculous duet with her until our brother decided to join us, I miss her always insisting on sleeping on the inner part of the bed and demanding for me to embrace her while she sleeps, I miss the times when we took a bath together, I miss fighting with her over stupid things, I miss her annoying attitude when I don’t give her what she wants, I miss her, so much my chest hurts like crazy

And I know I don’t have the right to say I miss them, after all this years I took everything for granted, I’ve never once grateful of the family I’ve been blessed with, I feel like I don’t deserve a family like this, I know I’m unworthy of my family, but I can’t help but feel like this, every time I saw a couple with their children, my chest starts to hurt, my eyes gets watery and flashbacks hit me, I miss them, and it’s getting worse every second, I want to see them

I’m not ready for college

When I die, I don't think I will go to heaven after all I've done, but I don't want to go to hell either, I just want to disappear once and for all eternity

If I’m just going to disappoint everyone, wouldn’t it be better if I just disappear?

I'm ugly

Me: *see a mirror*

Me: *laughing at my own reflection*

Me: *spit on the mirror*

Me: you're disgusting