Boo-hooing

Boo-hooing

(Chapter 13 of two souls entwined in the North Pole)

"What's all this boo-hooing going on here?" Bernard asks, magically coming from somewhere in the kitchen, pita sandwich half eaten in his hand.

"Hey, how ya doin?" He nods to Neal, mouth half full of food.

"It's nothing Bernard. We're just saying goodbye to Charlie." I explain.

"What goodbye? Charlie, you still got the glass ball, right?" He asks, swinging his free arm around my waist.

"Yeah." Charlie nods, brushing tears away.

"Well, all you gotta do is shake it whenever you want to see your dad or sibling." Bernard explains.

"Really?" Charlie asks in awe.

"They can come back to see you anytime of day or night." Bernard reassures.

"Hey, have I ever steered ya wrong?" He asks.

Charlie shakes his head as Neil and Laura approach us.

"Nice sweater. Did we make this?" Bernard asks, trying to check Neil for a tag as he shakes him away.

I chuckle. I don't know if he's genuine or not, either way it's funny. He turns and looks at me with a love struck look. Walking over to me he caresses my face.

"Your laugh is the most mirthful noise I have ever heard in my sixteen hundred and twenty two years of living." He says as I stare into his captivating chestnut eyes.

I snap out of it hearing Neil's distressed voice. Bernard's hand drops from my face to entwined with mine. Turning, I see Neil approaching Laura.

"Laura! They're sucking us into his delusions. Look at the elaborate measures they've taken. " Neil tries to reason.

"Neil, relax." I say.

Stepping into the chimney, Bernard gives me a kiss and poofs into glitter. Dad follows me. Placing a finger on the tip of my nose, we shoot up the chimney. On the roof sits our sleigh and we load into it. From down below on the street we hear voices.

"Chief! Look up there!" I hear a police officer shout.

The voices of children ring out through the quiet night. Hushed whispers of parents are also hears. All of them talking about us.

"Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night!" Dad calls out and cracks the reins.

The reindeer take off and we are gone in the blink of an eye, soaring through the black night sky. We place presents under every tree from Illinois to Ohio. Suddenly a light with Charlie's face on it starts rapidly blinking. Pressing on the button beside it, we are teleported to Laura's living room.

"Hey sport!" I call to Charlie.

"Dad! (Y/n)!" He runs to us with his arms open.

"You miss us already? We've been gone, what? Ten minutes." Dad asks checking his watch.

"We were on our way to Cleveland when we got your call, sport." I ruffle his hair.

"Do you wanna go for a quick ride?" Dad asks him.

"Yeah!" Charlie jumps up and down in excitement.

"Of course, it's up to your mom." I chime in.

"Please mom?" He gives her his signature puppy dog eyes.

"Go on. Get outta here." Laura jokes.

"All right. Hold on." I say grabbing ahold of dad as he boops his nose.

Back in the sleigh we continue to deliver all the presents, this time with Charlie with us. Landing back in front of Laura's house, I give Charlie a quick hug.

"Now, I know I'm only a shake away, but I'm gonna be packing for the pole. So if you need me again, just call my cell." I tell Charlie.

"Sport, I love you so much. I couldn't have done this without you." Dad gives him a kiss on the cheek.

We take back off and land on our roof.

"Dad, just fly back without me for now. I've got to pack our things, and a big, green sleigh shouldn't be on our roof in the morning when people wake up." I hug dad goodbye and open up our house.

Going upstairs, I open my room. Taking out my suitcase, I start packing all of my belongings. I had all of my clothes already folded, so this goes by pretty quickly. I go into Charlie's room and pick up his stuffed bear dressed like Santa. I can't help but think, how often will I get to see him. I guess he could always FaceTime me, if there actually is wifi in the pole. I decide to take it with me, a souvenir of my little brother.

"What's wrong snowbird?" I hear a voice I've grown to love ask me.

"Just thinking about Charlie." I say turning around to face Bernard.

"You know, your dad isn't the only one who can teleport." He grins.

"What do you mean?" I ask, quirking my eyebrow.

"Since you're technically the spirit of Christmas, all you gotta do is picture where you are and wiggle your ears, and you'll be there." Bernard swings his arms around my shoulders.

"That would have been nice to know, ya know!" I playfully smack his hand off me.

"I'm sorry!" He feigns a hurt look. "But just to let you know, the rest of the elves can get your stuff. You didn't have to come here."

"I figured, but I wanted to make sure I got my bag and Charlie's bear." I smile down at the bear.

"Well, now that I'm here, I can take that for you." He says taking my suitcase from me.

I grab a hold of his hand and entwine our fingers together.

"Would you like to do the honors of taking us home, snowbird?" Bernard asks, a gentle smile gracing his face.

"I'd love to." I grin back.

Wiggling my ears and thinking of my dad, we appear in the workshop. He's standing in front of all the elves when we appear in front of him. He stops mid sentence and gapes at us.

"Sorry, dad. I'm new to this." I apologize and drag Bernard off the stage and down the hall to my room.

"This is new, but as long as you're here with me, I think I can manage." I say smiling at him.

"I'll always be here snowbird."

Comfort and a visit to Charlie’s

(Chapter 10 of two souls entwined in the North Pole)

As soon as we get home dad heads to his room and refuses to come out. The door is locked to talking through it is about all I can do. How Laura can be such a cruel person is a loss to me. He barely does anything for over a week. After work I trudge to my room, change into pajamas and crawl under the covers. I just can't do it anymore. I rub my locket because it makes me think of Bernard. He'd make everything better. I just know it.

"Snowbird what's wrong?" I hear Bernard's voice come from outside my covers.

"She did it." I say, fighting back tears.

"Who did what?" He sits beside me.

"Laura took away dads visitation rights. He's not supposed to even be near him now!" I sob.

He pulls back the blanket and pulls me into his arms.

"I'm sorry snowbird." He pats me on the back. "I've got to get back to the pole for now but I'll see you later, ok?"

I nod and hug him tight. After he poofs away a knock comes from my door.

"Do you want to take a walk with me? Maybe see the Christmas lights at the town square?" Dad asks opening my door.

"Yeah, that sounds fun." I wipe my eyes with my sleeve.

We leave the house and start walking. Soon we are at a familiar house.

"Dad! You know we aren't supposed to be here!" I gasp.

"I just want to see him." Dad sighs, knocking on the door.

Neil opens the door and looks confused between us both.

"Hey Neil." Dad stuffs his hands into his pockets.

"Scott, you're not supposed to be here. And neither are they." Neil points to me.

"Don't make me beat you up Neil." Dad half heartedly threatens.

"Oh would Santa and Christmas spirit beat up someone?" Neil says, hands on his hips.

Dad moves past him into the house. I shrug and offer a half sincere sorry.

"I'm this close." dad says, fingers nearly touching.

" So you still believe you're Santa?" Neil asks pointedly.

"I don't know." Dad sighs.

Charlie comes running in. "What do you mean you don't know? Of course you are, Dad. How can you say that? Think of all those kids!"

"The only kids I'm thinking about are you and your sibling." Dad tussles his hair.

"We're fine! You can't let them down!" Charlie stomps.

Laura cuts in "Charlie listen."

" You listen! You think you know who he is. You don't!" Charlie wails.

Laura tries to reason with him " Charlie. Honey, listen. You're confused."

"I know exactly who they are!" Charlie cries out, tears brimming from his eyes.

"They are not Christmas spirit and Santa Claus!" Laura practically screams at him.

"He is too, Santa! We went to the North Pole together. I saw it. The elves are real old even though they look like Bernard called me sport, 'cause he knew everything. Right, Dad? He's (y/n)s soulmate! The necklace they have is from him!" Charlie tosses dad his snow globe.

And like that it seems like everything clicks behind his eyes.

"Thank you Charlie, thank you." He scoops him into a hug.

"Can we have a minute? To say goodbye?" I plead.

Laura scrunches up her face but Neil nods and ushers her off.

"You saw the ball come to life! You saw it!" Charlie says joyously.

"You bet I did," dad starts but Charlie is ready to run to pack a bag.

"Well, wait, sport. Sport. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I think it's a much better idea if you just stayed here with your mom." Dad explains.

"I wanna be with you two though!" Charlie says.

"I love hearing you say that" dad wipes his eyes.

"You mean I can go?!" Charlie asks excited.

"Boy, this bird is dry. Haven't you people heard about basting?" I hear a familiar voice and I see the face of my boyfriend stuffed with turkey.

I hold in a giggle but my smile is bursting at h the seams. He smiles back at me.

"Bernard!" Charlie jumps up.

"Hiya sport!" Bernard nods at him.

"Bernard, can I go? Please, can I go, Bernard?!" Charlie pleads, puppy dog eyes engaged.

"It's ok with me." Bernard shrugs.

He grabs our my hand and dads. I hold Charlie and he poofs us away. In mere seconds we are at the pole. An elf whisks Charlie away to help on the sleigh and our outfits.

Bernard whisks me away while dad bonds with the reindeer.

"How do you always know how to make things better?" I grin.

"Just part of my charm I guess." He presses his forehead to mine.

I move forward and lock our lips. The faint taste of turkey lingers on his breath. I kiss him hard and he kisses back harder. My tongue grazes his l bottom lip and he gladly opens to me. He lets out a light moan and I can't help but to think dirty. My hands find his hair and his hands meet behind my neck. His hair is unbelievably soft. I wonder if the carpet match the drapes. I'm sure he would be beautiful down below, just like the rest of him is. My finger grazes his ear and he damn near buckles out from under him. He pulls me as close as he can, his half hard erection pulsating against the inside of my thigh, and when we might get a little too carried away a knock interrupts us. We quickly untangle ourselves from each other. Our faces hot with lust and embarrassment. His hands shifts his bag to hide his growing hard on.

Dad stands in the doorway. "Was what I think was happening in her, happening?" He points between both of us.

"Well, that depends on what you thought was happening!" I rush.

"So the answer is yes." Dad nods smugly.

"I am an adult you know!" I cross my arms.

"You're still my little kid. But if it had to be anyone I'm glad it's you Bernard." He nods.

"Well thank you sir!" Bernard beams, his hands fidgeting.

"Just don't be doing that around me. I would like to think of my kid as innocent even if they're not," dad starts.

"Guys! Quinton and I have got to show you this!" Charlie burst in.

Bernard smiles at me and I pull him out of the room. He's perfect.

The spirit of Christmas?! (chapter 4)

The hallways seem to twist and turn in random directions but Bernard seems to know how to navigate it like the back of his hand. He looks back to make sure I'm still following every once in a while. I'm practically tearing off my skin at this point. My tattoo is hot to the touch and I can feel it through my sleeve. Bernard rubs his wrist every now and then, looking to me with furrowed brows. It seems like an eternity following him when we finally are met with a door. It's rounded with light blue paint on it. Strings of pine decorate it with painted on snowflakes speckled onto the varnish. Bernard reaches into his impossibly large bag and fishes out a key, it's handle matching the doors design. Turning the key and pushing on the door it gives a large creak, almost like it hadn't been used in decades.

"Well this is it." Bernard says, fully turning to me. "Welcome home (y/n)!"

"Your home maybe! Not mine!" I joke.

"Well, your home too now. At least it will be after the next eleven months." Bernard says sternly.

He motions into the room and I enter. The entire room is ice blue, except the few red and green accents. The biggest bed I've ever seen sits on the back wall. It may look like winter in here but I feel like I'm being boiled alive. Bernard follows in behind me.

"No offense, but this is bullshit!" I growl out at him.

He looks slightly taken aback but replies with "well I'm sorry you feel that way"

"Look, I stopped believing in Santa a long time ago. This has got to be some demented nightmare my mind has conjured up. One moment a guys falling off our roof and I'm putting on an old trapper hat I found the next I'm here and your spewing nonsense about me being the spirit of Christmas!" I say sitting onto the bed.

"Well, whether you believe it or not, you are now Christmas spirit." He says standing in front of me.

I take off the blasted hat that began this all and set it beside me. I begin to roll up my sleeves when I hear Bernard let out a soft gasp.

"Umm, what's your last name again?" Bernard stutters out.

"Calvin, why?" I blink in confusion.

I go to itch my arm and Bernard seizes my wrist.

"Ah! Fuck that hurt! What the hell is wrong with you dude! You're being really weird!" I yank my arm away, gently rubbing my wrist where he grabbed it.

"Language! But uh, I don't know how to say this," Bernard starts.

"Say what? That I've finally lost my marbles and need a mental evaluation?" I spit.

"We're soulmates," he breathes, calmly grabbing his sleeve and pulling upward.

Lo and behold there in the same handwriting reads the words (Y/N) CALVIN.

"What's a soulmate?" I hear a quiet voice ask from the doorway.

We both whip our heads around to find Charlie standing a few steps in the doorway.

I rush to him, sweeping him into a protective embrace.

"It's like a best friend, but more. It's the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It's who you're destined to spend eternity with." Bernard tries to explain without fumbling over words.

"Well, sissy (y/n) hates Christmas, so I don't think she's your soulmate" Charlie says and then waddles over to the bed.

"Well, they'll learn to love it because they are now the spirit of Christmas, sport!" Bernard shakes his head, curls bouncing in every direction.

"Yeah, not gonna happen dude." I raise my eyebrows and lift Charlie onto the giant bed.

"Well it's got to happen or you and I both die. So..." Bernard trails off.

"How about I get is some hot coco and we talk about this?" Bernard tries persuading me.

"Ok I guess, but don't think that this will change anything!" I call after him as he leaves.

"He's nice." Charlie smiles at me.

"Yeah he is, but I think we will be talking about adult business, so... scram" I shoo him out of the room.

I flop on the bed and close my eyes, hoping once I open them I'll be back home in my bed.

"This can't be real!" I tell myself.

"It's 'bout as real as it gets." A voice cuts through my thoughts.

I open my eyes to see Bernard approaching with a mug in each hand. He hands me one and I cautiously take a sip. It's the best thing I've ever tasted. I set the mug onto a nearby coaster to cool off.

"So... what's the nonsense about soulmates?" I ask him.

"Every elf has a soulmate. It just makes things easier here. But never in my two thousand years of living would I have guessed that mine would be a human. Let along the child of Santa and the spirit of Christmas. I didn't know it was even possible." Bernard explains.

"This is crazy! I feel like I'm loosening it. First soulmates, Santa, Christmas spirits, This has got to be the weirdest experience ever!" I rant.

"Well you're stuck with the pole now." Bernard pats my back and I feel warmth radiating from my tattoo.

"Yeah, fat chance this is even real. When I wake up I'll be back in my bed." I retort.

"Well, yeah. You have to get ready to move here. Can't just yank you from your home you know." Bernard sasses.

"What's this b.s. about Christmas spirit now?" I raise my eyebrows at him.

"I'll have to train you. I'll stop by whenever I can and teach you how to use your magic." Bernard illustrates.

"This is crazy. I have a job! I can't just wait around for an imaginary soulmate to show up and teach me magic! I have to support my dad!" I clamor while jumping up.

"I can see that this is getting us nowhere. It's fine you're in denial right now but here. Take this." Bernard fishes around in his satchel and pulls out a locket.

"Rub this whenever you need to see me and I'll be there. No matter the time." Bernard clasps it around my neck.

"If I'm your soulmate, wouldn't you want me here now?" I ask lifting a brow.

"I've waited over two thousand years for you, what's one more?" Bernard smiles a sad smile.

I rush forward without thinking, my arms wrapping around Bernard's neck and causing him to wobble.

"I'm sorry. If you were real I'd gladly stay here with you!" I cry.

My eyes water and he hugs me like I might slip away at any moment.

"Well, I think you'll be seeing a lot more of me around." Bernard smiles.

"You better get to sleep though. I'll always be with you, right here." He pats my chest and makes his way to the door.

"Goodnight Bernard!" I call to him.

"Goodnight snowflake!" He calls back, closing the door behind him.

I reach for the folded pajamas Bernard left. I unfold them to see that they are embroidered with my initials. I change into them and pull the covers back. This has to be the softest pajamas I've ever felt. I nearly melt into the soft sheets. My tattoo no longer burns. I hope I have this dream every night!

I feel called out 😬

My first edit! I posted this on tiktok and thought y’all over here might like it too! 😁

Charlie's best night ever

(Chapter one of Wrapped in love!)

I hear a commotion and rush downstairs. In the door way is dad hissing at mom? Making my way into the living room I see Charlie staring in wonderment at the colored lights adorning the tree, a giant, color changing star sits on the very top. Ornaments we've made over the years are speckled throughout the tree. Charlie and I's faces are framed and hung near the top. That picture was taken the Christmas before the divorce. I remember how all Charlie asked for that Christmas was for the fighting to stop. It's sad when a 4 year old asks to keep their family together. I wrote a letter as 'Santa' to apologize. I wrote that it was out of my hands and that if they were happier apart that you should be happy for them. I remember the downtrodden look he had after reading the letter. I had started work as a librarian rather than go off to college. I had to keep dad afloat. If I wasn't here I don't know what he would have done.

"Why do they always have to fight?" Charlie urged.

"Dad's just playing. You know how he is." I give him a side hug.

I hear the door shut and dad walks into the room.

"Your mother said that you no longer believe in Santa. Is that true?" Dad asks, hand on Charlie's shoulder.

"Santa's for babies!" Charlie shrugs.

"I believe in Santa, and so does dad. Are we babies?" I ask.

"Well, I guess if you believe, I can too. Since you're so smart you'd know what's real and what's not." Charlie smiles up at us.

"That's better! Now how 'bout I make you two the best Christmas dinner you've ever had?" Dad pulls out a cookbook and thumbs through the first few pages for poultry.

"8 hours! If I turn the heat up high, it will cook faster." Dad whispers to himself.

Charlie gives me a knowing look and I stick out my tongue, making him giggle. He pulls me by my sleeve into the living room.

"Let's watch the muppets Christmas carol!" He says, turning on the roku and putting Disney plus on.

"Oooh, you know me too well buddy!" I plop down beside him.

The credits begin to roll when smoke comes billowing out of the kitchen. Through it dad can be seen using a fire extinguisher on the turkey.

"I think dad needs some help." Charlie nudges me.

"Yeah, let's go help him sport." I say getting up and walking to the archway of the kitchen as Charlie follows me and climbs into a chair.

"Need some help?" I lean into the arch.

"Help?! No! Everything's fine!" Dad whips his head to us, moving to block the sight of the burnt turkey.

" That is exactly why you want a high-quality fire extinguisher right in the kitchen." He waves smoke away.

"Those flames were really big, dad!" Charlie flaps his arms.

"Yeah, turkey's funny like that." Dad excuses his idiocy as flames engulf the turkey.

"Dad!" We shout as I point behind him.

He douses the turkey with foam and wipes the sweat from his brow.

"It's done." I joke.

Dad glares lightly and responds "Let's just go out to eat!"

We pile into the car and begin to drive, dad naming off several restaurants then disappointingly sighing at them being closed. We soon come to Denny's. It's probably the only thing open at this time of night on Christmas Eve.

"How about Dennys, sport?" I turn and ask him.

"I don't wanna eat here!" Charlie sticks his tongue out, and shakes his head.

"Well sport, it's the only thing open and I don't think we want another turkey debacle." I say opening the car door and unloading him.

"What are you talkin' about? Everybody likes Denny's." Dad crosses his arms. "It's an American institution!"

"Sure dad." I hold Charlie's hand as we enter the restaurant.

"Are you with Hatsutashi?" The hostess asks.

"No!" Dad starts before Charlie interrupts.

"Dad burnt the turkey!" Charlie says one hand on his hip.

"Oh, yeah. This way. Come on. Right over there." She points to one of the only open booths.

We sit down and two servers walk up.

"Hi, I'm Judy and this is Bernard. I'm training him tonight so he's gonna help out with your table." The lady now identified as Judy explains.

"Coffee?" The man offers.

"Yes please!" I hold up my mug.

"What do you say we start out with cold glasses of delicious seasonal favourite eggnog?" Dad suggests.

"Dad, he's a kid. He doesn't like eggnog." I advise him.

"We're out" the lady snaps.

"Ok then, he'll have chocolate milk." I nod to Charlie.

"Ooh, sorry we're out." The man says sheepishly.

"Plain milk's fine." Charlie sighs.

The woman walks away as the man scrambles after her.

"At least we know they got hot apple pie!" Dad smiles.

"We did!" The lady's calls to him.

His smile drops and we order our food, eat, pay, tip, and load back into the car.

We go back inside and I carry Charlie up into his room, dad following close behind.

Dad busts out the ancient night before Christmas book. He reads about half way through before Charlie interrupts.

"What's that?"

"What's what?" Dad queries.

"A rose suchak ladder?" He sounds out.

"It's arose such a clatter, sport. Arose means it came and clatter is a loud noise. So it means there was a lot of noise." I tuck him in.

"Yes, now, please, go to sleep. Shut your eyes." Dad stands up, not finishing the story.

"How do reindeers fly?" Charlie asks.

"Antlers. You know, ther-- ther-- there's a slipstream effect-- The air go--T-They move fa-- They're weightless." Dad stutters out.

"The only reason they can fly, is 'cuz they think they can fly. Like bees sport." I kiss his forehead.

"That makes sense. Good night dad! Goodnight (y/n)!" Charlie calls out.

We close the door and dad turns to me.

"Thanks for saving me back there (y/n)." Dad pats my back and walks me to my room.

"Anytime dad, anytime." I smile at him.

"Now, don't stay up too late. Charlie is sure to wake us up early in the morning to open presents." Dad warns.

"I know dad," I close the door.

Kneeling down beside my bed, I pull out a tote full of gifts to wrap for Charlie from 'Santa'. I begin wrapping and after three hours all the presents are wrapped. Suddenly I hear something weird. Like someone's walking on the roof. But that would be impossible. I slide the tote back under my bed and focus on the noise coming from above me. A small hand grabs mine and I jump. Turning around I see Charlie with wide eyes.

"I heard a clatter!" He cries.

"Yes, yes I know. You go get dad and I'll go out and check. Don't you worry sport." I ruffle his hair.

He nods and runs off to wake dad. I rush down the stairs and throw on my shoes. Opening the door I run out, nearly falling and busting my ass. Getting outside I see the impossible, someone walking of the roof of the house.

"Hey you!" I yell out.

Suddenly the man falls and plummets from the roof the same moment dad and Charlie arrive outside.

"You got him!" Charlie cheers.

"Stay there!" I call to them, but they don't listen.

"It is santa! You killed him!" Charlie pokes the man.

"They did not!" Dad moves closer.

"And he's not Santa sport" I pull him away.

"Well, he was." He says.

I move forward and reach out towards the man. "Fella, if you can hear me, I'm just lookin' for your identification. Once I figure out who ya are, I'll-- I'll give you a lift back to the mall."

I reach inside his coat pocket and pull out a small business card.

"lf something should happen to me, put on my suit. The reindeer will know what to do." I read out.

"Yeah right." Dad scoffs.

I look back down to check on the man but I find nothing but a pile of clothes.

"He disappeared." I gasp.

"He's naked somewhere!" Dad says like that was an option.

"You gonna put on the suit like the suit said?" Charlie asks me.

"Maybe in a minute sport. It is cold out here." I pat his head.

We turn around to see a ladder suddenly from the pavement to the roof.

Charlie runs up to it.

"It's the ladder!" He gasps.

"What?!" Dad demands.

"The rose suchac ladder company" Charlie reads out. "Like in the poem!"

"In the poem?" Dad shakes his head.

Charlie starts climbing the ladder and is soon on the roof.

"Get down from there Charlie!" Dad calls after him.

"You just gotta see this!" Charlie calls down to us.

Dad climbs after him. I'm freezing my ass off here so I might as well put on these pants. Pulling them on and putting on the matching coat I can feel a strange warmth permeate my very bones. I follow dad onto the roof.

"Hey sport, why don't you step back from them. I don't want you to get sick." I whisk Charlie into the sleigh.

"Easy Rudolph!" Dad shrugs at the reindeer.

"Check out Santa's sleigh!" Charlie calls to dad.

Dad trudges over to us and into the sleigh.

"There's no such thing as Santa's sleigh." Dad places his hands on his hips.

"Sure there is. You said you believed in Santa, right?" I glare at him.

"I did? I do!" He corrects himself.

"What about the reindeer? These are Santa's reindeer, aren't they?" Charlie thinks.

"I hope not." I mutter.

"I hope not. These are, uh, a gift! Probably from the cable company. We're getting the Disney Channel now. Merry Christmas." Dad rattles off.

"Now hop out now!" Dad scolds.

"I don't wanna go!" Charlie pouts.

"Listen, Charlie. I'm not kidding. Let's go!" He yells.

Suddenly the sleigh takes off, dad toppling over into the back bench, upside down. Charlie takes the reins and I help him. The sleigh lands on a roof.

"Now what do we do?" I ask dad and Charlie.

"Get the bag full of toys!" Charlie points to a sack I didn't notice before.

"(Y/n)! Don't you dare!" Dad scolds.

I grab the bag and step out of the sleigh.

"Sorry dad." I say shrugging.

Suddenly I'm rising into the air, being dragged by the bag and I'm sucked down a chimney.

"What the fuck was that?" I ask myself.

"Guess I gotta deliver the gifts." I say gently placing them under the tree.

I hear a growl and turn around to see a Rottweiler baring his teeth at me.

"It's ok! I'm here to deliver presents!" I whisper yell at it.

It whines and turns around, trotting out of the room.

"How the fuck did that work?" I question, getting sucked up back the chimney.

I land back onto the roof. Dads face is shocked and Charlie is delighted.

"How'd it feel?!" Charlie asks.

"Like americas most wanted. Now let's go!" I climb into the sleigh and we take off just to land on a near by house.

"There's no chimney guys!" I tell the reindeer, like a crazy person.

The bag lifts me up anyway and I began to plea with it. Suddenly I am forced down a smoke stack and out a chimney that wasn't there seconds before. I fall onto my ass and stand up rubbing it. I begin to put toys under the tree when I hear a gasp. Turning around I see a little girl.

"Santa?!" She gasps.

"Close, but I'll give it to ya." I grin at her.

"How come your clothes are so baggy?" She tilts her head.

"Because I need to layer up so I'm not cold." I pull out of my ass.

"And how come you've got glasses?"

"Santa's eyes aren't so good." I straighten my back for effect.

"How come you're not a boy?"

"Who said Santa's gotta be a boy?" I gleam.

"You've got to drink the milk!" She points to a cup of milk that's sat out for who knows how long.

"Sorry Sarah, I'm lactose intolerant." I smile softly at her.

"How did you know my name?" She asks.

How did I?

"Because I know everything. And I know you should be asleep by now. So off you go!" I usher her back to the couch.

I walk back into the chimney and get sucked back up.

"How'd you get in without a fireplace?" Charlie bounces.

"Yeah, how did you?" Dad joins in.

"I don't know. One just kinda appeared." I shrug.

"Take us back home guys!" I crack the reins and we become airborne.

After a while we arrive in a small patch of land covered in snow and surrounded by pine trees. What the hell is this place?