After My Suicide I Decided That Everything I Do Is Great Beause If I Were Dead, I Would Not Have Done

After my suicide I decided that everything I do is great bećause if I were dead, I would not have done those things. Even badly - I would not have done those things at all. It was almost 10 years ago, but I still count every day even my smallest deeds and think how great I am for having done SO MUCH MORE than I would, had my suicide really succeeded.

Just in case no one has told you today

I am proud of you. I don't care how small of a step you took. Maybe you got out of bed or brushed your teeth. Drank water or ate something. Did you water your plants or care for pets? Amazing! If you're caring for children, or someone else important in your life, you're so admirable. Maybe you just cleaned a room or did laundry. You could've read or created some kind of art. You could have done none of these things. And I'm still happy you're here with us again. You conqured the troubles thus far. You've kicked their ass. You're the winner. And I know when the challange arrises again, you'll succeed. Because you're capable and strong. And you aren't alone.

Everyone, please meet Sheila. Sheila is the cleanest, nicest, vault toilet I’ve ever encountered and she is conveniently located at a trailhead that’s a quarter mile from our camp site. Thanks to Sheila, I have not had to poop in the woods this week. All hail Sheila.

Please remember your favorite writers are attention whores with a praise kink, they need validation to survive. Feed them comments and reblogs to save a life.

Of course I am. Also autist, this seems to be tumblr thing. And I hate hate hate (pun intended) when people use absolute language to mean "most people do it". I am not a person in your world? Your world is fake. If you say "good writing wins your heart over hate", you don't speak of me? Then, ffs, say "for most of us" or "often" or something like that. But if you use absolute language, of course I take it as you also talk about me. And I am not like that.

what they don't tell you is that a well-written fic can get you to ship anything, and i mean ANYTHING. notp? not anymore. you will stay up late thinking about and crying over them for the rest of your life. characters you don't even know from a piece of media you've never engaged with? fuck it, they belong to you now. problematic ship that you loved to hate and now just love to love, that you must never tell your friends about? don't worry, ao3 knows how to keep a secret. like. a well-written fic will have you acting UP and that's a fact baby !!