Finding Your Way Back (Part 1)

Finding Your Way Back (Part 1)

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Prompts -310 - “Every day she’s wondering why I’m not there!"

Click Here for Part Two.

You tried desperately to hold on to several thoughts, tried so hard not to let them stop running through your head. You had no idea how long you’d been gone for but it was long enough that you were barely functioning.

‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. I am an Avenger. I have magic.’

There used to be more thoughts, you were sure there used to be more thoughts but you couldn’t remember them anymore. You thought there might’ve been another name, another something, anything, but you didn’t know any more.

‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. I am an Avenger. I have magic.’

They had taken you so easily, strapped you down in a chair until you couldn’t remember who you were before. You used to have more thoughts but they were gone now.

Now you didn’t remember anything that happened, you couldn’t feel your own body, did you even have a body anymore? There used to be pain but now there wasn’t. Were you dead?

‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. I am an Avenger. I have magic.’

Sometimes you heard people, voices, cars, sounds, but you didn’t register them completely. Never knew exactly what you were hearing. You felt cold, so cold, a lot of the time but then sometimes you felt cool air, like you were outside but you couldn’t remember.

Why couldn’t you remember?

‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. I am an Avenger. I have magic.’

There used to be pain. Now there was nothing.

-

“Tell me you found something?” Bucky asked as he walked into Tony’s workshop. You’d been missing for four months, four months of Bucky trying to track you down but HYDRA had become smarter. There were less of them now that the Avengers had started taking them out but they were smarter now that they had you, you were their secret weapon.

The magic you held was powerful, more powerful than anyone should have access to. Forged by an infinity stone, the power should've killed you like it killed the hundreds before you but for some reason, one even the Sorcerer Supreme couldn’t even explain, the power had merged with you, making you one of the most powerful witches to walk the earth.

The abilities you had, well they were enough to bring the Earth to its knees. In the hands of HYDRA there was no telling what would happen.

Bucky knew you wouldn’t willingly follow their orders but he also knew how effective their methods were.

“She was spotted again.” Tony said, his voice heavy with sorrow. This was the seventh sighting of you, you looked worse and worse each time. By the time you were spotted you were gone before they could get to you.

It was like HYDRA was taunting them.

Wherever you were seen, shortly after a major disaster was reported, usually with dozens dead.

“You have to find her!” Bucky yelled, stalking towards Tony, effectively pinning him against the desk.

To Tony’s credit he didn’t flinch, he looked straight at Bucky with his head held high.

“I’m gonna find her, I promise you that much, I’m gonna bring her home.” Tony promised. He wouldn’t rest until you were safe.

“Every day she’s wondering why I’m not there!” Bucky tried to yell but his voice broke mid sentence as tears filled his eyes, he knew first hand how bad HYDRA could be, the thought of them hurting you-

“We’re gonna get her back, we won’t stop until we do.” Tony promised again, letting his hand rest on Bucky’s shoulder.

Bucky scrunched his eyes shut for a moment before nodding.

They were going to get you back.

-

‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. I am an Avenger.’

What was an Avenger? You couldn’t remember, you tried to, you tried so hard to remember but you couldn’t. The name didn’t mean anything to you anymore.

‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. I am an Avenger.’

Days and weeks dragged without you knowing. You sat there, were you sitting?, motionless. Some days you longed for the pain, anything to tell you that you were alive but nothing came.

Nothing ever came.

-

‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N.’

That was your name, you were Y/F/N Y/L/N. You didn’t know anything else any more, couldn’t remember anything else. Everything felt empty, you tried to remember what came after that but you couldn’t.

-

‘My name is Y/F/N.’

How long had it been? Days, time, it had no meaning to you anymore. You didn’t know what you were or if you were even real. Nothing happened ever, nothing that you could see, nothing you could feel, nothing you could remember.

‘My name is…’

-

“Holy crap!” Tony exclaimed as he looked at the data in front of him.

It had been seven months since your disappearance and not a day went by where Tony wasn’t looking for you. By now he had a long, long list of HYDRA bases, some abandoned, some active, but none ever held you.

He and JARVIS had been looking through the new data when they saw you. Your face was partially covered but the camera was at just the right angle.

It was definitely you.

Tony was quick to make his way up to where the jet was always on standby for such an occasion, he had already told everyone to suit up and meet him there.

“You found her?” Bucky asked as soon as Tony came into view.

“I found her.” Tony said, relief flooding his system. He knew it wasn’t going to be any easier, getting you out and dealing with the aftermath, but right now he just wanted to focus on the good news.

He was startled out of his thoughts when Bucky pulled him into a rough hug. The pair of them weren’t exactly friends but they got along just fine. Tony knew what Bucky was feeling though and hugged him back.

“Thank you.” Bucky whispered before pulling away and boarding the plane.

It took a good fews hours to get to where you were. In that time the team went over multiple different plans and ways to get you out. By the time they landed they had a fairly decent plan but still had no idea what they were walking into.

-

Outside your room sounds of guns and knives, metal and thunder could be heard by everyone except you.

You were oblivious to the absolute destruction that was happening in order to get you back. You had no idea that there were bodies piling higher and higher as the Avengers took down anyone who stood between you and them.

Bucky moved through the building as quickly and as quietly as he could. Though the trigger words were long gone, he had snapped back into the Winter Soldier faster than ever, using all his training against the people who created him.

He checked room after room, growling when he didn’t see you in any of them.

He had to stop, he had to think carefully. Bucky knew these monsters, he knew how they thought. If they knew there was even a slight chance somebody would come for their most powerful weapon, where would they hide her?

It took him less than thirty seconds to find an answer and then he threw stealth out the window as he ran down corridors, shouting through the comms for the team to meet up with him.

-

No thoughts ran through your head anymore.

You couldn’t remember who you were. You knew there used to be many things you were supposed to remember but you didn’t know anything anymore.

-

“She’s gonna be alright, Buck.” Steve said as he took a seat next to Bucky who was sitting at your side in the hospital.

“What if she’s not? Sure they think she’ll pull through physically but we’ve got no clue what they did to her head.” Bucky said. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, he felt defeated. Sure he had you back but what if he was too late, what if HYDRA had gone too far.

“It’s Y/N.” Steve said like that explained everything. “She’s a fighter.”

Bucky had nothing to say. Whilst it was true and you were one of the strongest people he knew, he also knew you were just a human. Sure the infinity stone had given you powers but ultimately you were still a human and there was only so much damage the human mind could take.

“She’ll pull through,” Steve said as he stood to leave, “She always does.”

-

It had taken a month and a half for your body to fully recover. In that time you were moved from the hospital and into the compound’s medical wing. Bucky had yet to leave your side for longer than a shower and forced meals that he swore he didn’t need. Any time away from you wasn’t worth it.

In the space of that month you had opened your eyes and twitched your fingers a few times but other than that made no move to wake up.

As the days went by the hope lessened significantly. Bucky spoke with you everyday, he begged and pleaded with you to just wake up, just let him know you were going to be ok. When he left your side to shower he cried, he punched the walls and broke most of the bathroom whilst cursing the world.

He’d apologised to Tony but the man shrugged it off, telling him to get back to his girl. The whole team was dealing with it pretty badly, most days the weather was terrible with thunder spreading right across New York.

“Please wake up, doll.” Bucky whispered, his voice cracking as he took your hand in his. “C’mon, doll you can do it.”

-

‘Doll.’

That wasn’t your name, at least you didn’t think it was your name.

A flicker of a memory, so faint you could barely recall it but you managed.

‘Doll.’

He called you that, the man with the metal arm. He called you doll but it wasn’t your name.

Who was he? You knew him somehow but you couldn’t remember. Why was he here? Was he one of the people who hurt you?

‘Just show me you're awake, ok? Just squeeze my hand if you can hear me, baby.’

Squeeze your hand, how? Did you have a body? You couldn’t feel it.

‘Just a little squeeze, c’mon baby, for me.’

It was the man with the metal arm. Nobody else called you baby or doll. At least you didn’t think so, it was hard to remember. The memories, they were so far away.

He sounded sad.

Your hand. He wanted you to move your hand. Where was it again?

Focus.

It took a long time but eventually you squeezed your hand, once, twice, three times.

‘Y/N, can you hear me?!”

Y/N!

That was your name, your name was Y/F/N….

You thought there was more, there should’ve been more but you couldn’t remember the next bit.

Instead you squeezed your hand again.

-

Bucky let out a slightly hysterical laugh as he looked down at you.

“Good job baby, that’s it. You’re doing great.” He praised as he looked at your hand like it was the best thing to grace the Earth. “So good.”

Doctors came swarming in when they were altered via JARVIS about the changes, chattering about how this was a good sign and where to go from here.

Bucky watched them from the doorway, a huge grin on his face.

He didn't doubted your strength but he also couldn’t deny HYDRA’s methods. They were enough to make anyone lose their mind but here you were finding your way back. It was going to be a long, exhausting road but you were finding your way back.

Read part two here.

I Can't Lose You Again (Part One)

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Requested - Yes - Anon - Loki x reader where the reader is being held prisoner at the TVA because she knows Loki better than anyone else - the rest is up to you. Thank you!!!

“Who was she?” Loki asked as the reel came to an end.

He had just witnessed his entire life play out before him, ending long before it should have and having accomplished nothing he thought he wanted. He recognised nearly everyone shown, his mother, father, the Avengers, Thor…but there was a woman that he had no recollection of, clearly not yet meeting her but important enough to his future self for her to be included.

“She was one of the few people who saw the good in you. One of the very few people who thought you could be more than the villain, who saw the potential in you.” Mobius said, causing him to screw his eyes shut and shake his head.

“As if there could ever be such a person.” Loki scoffed. He knew what he was, the film reel only highlighted that.

“Her name is Y/N. Thor brought her to Asgard during your time spent there as prisoner. She wandered down to your cell despite being told never to go by Odin. She was there for the battle, saw all the destruction and chaos but still she asked you for your side of the story.” Mobius said, pausing as Loki interrupted him.

“Why on Earth would she ask for my side of the story?” Loki asked bitterly, his eyes still wet with tears.

“That’s exactly what you asked her.” Mobius smiled, “You dismissed her, told her to leave but she didn’t listen. She stayed and sat with you in silence and continued to do so as the days went on, sometimes she brought books and read to you. Eventually you caved and told her your side of it. Somehow she decided that you weren’t all bad.”

“Then she is a fool.” Loki snarled, finally turning to face mobius.

“A fool,” Mobius chuckled fondly, “I don’t think so, I think once upon a time she was the villain and she was given a second chance. I think that made her kinder. Besides, she’s a fool you love more than anything, she’s a fool you lived for, a fool you would’ve died for without hesitation.”

Loki stayed silent for a few moments, processing the information. It seemed utterly impossible for anybody to love him, the thought of it was ridiculous. How could someone see good in him, he was the villain…he was always destined to be the villain.

“What happened to her?” Loki asked eventually.

“After Thanos was defeated and the Avengers brought everybody back, she hoped you’d be brought back too. When you weren’t, she was lost, broken. She had lost the one person who truly believed in her and she couldn’t deal with it. She used the time machine and went back to the moment before Thanos attacked you, she tried to warn you, she tried to change the future but that future couldn’t be changed.”

“What happened to her?” Loki asked again, this time more harshly, a dangerous edge to his tone.

“The TVA stepped in; she was to be pruned but then the decision was changed. We’ve been looking into you for a very long time, needing information and trust me when I say nobody knows a Loki better than Y/F/N Y/L/N.” Mobius said with a smile that Loki didn’t understand.

“She’s here?” He asked instead.

“She’s here.” Mobius confirmed.

“You dare to hold her here, for what? Because she knows me? Let her go.” Loki ordered, stepping close to Mobius who just chuckled in response.

“If it makes you feel better, she hasn’t given up any information about you. Refuses to speak to any of us, so they put her in a time cell hoping that’ll convince her to talk but I don’t think it’ll do any good. Even when she knows you’re dead, she’s still protecting you, consequences be damned.”

Loki thought she sounded foolish, to you he was dead, why wouldn’t you bargain for your own life? Give them information and make them let you go. A small part of him was pleased though, loyalty like that was almost impossible to come by.

That small part of him wanted to know you but he knew that was impossible.

Loki sighed, too quiet for Mobius to hear, before taking a seat on the step.

“I can’t go back, can I?” He asked, knowing the answer. He was never going to get to experience the things he’d seen. “Back to my timeline.”

Mobius looked at him, he really did sympathise with the God, watching how you had held up against the interrogations for him, well he must have been worth it.

In a moment of weakness, Loki confessed everything that only he knew…well things he hadn’t told you yet at least. He admitted that he didn’t enjoy hurting people, didn’t enjoy being the villain, admitted how weak he felt so conjured fear to feel powerful, he explained everything to Mobius, he explained the illusions, how he wanted to control.

“You do know yourself.” Mobius said, pleasure in his voice.

“A villain.” Loki admitted in defeat.

“That’s not how I see it.” Mobius said, watching as Loki looked down, not giving away what he felt about that statement. “That’s not how she saw it either.”

“I can’t offer you salvation,” Mobius told him, “but maybe I can offer you something better. Like I said we’re holding Y/N here because she knows Loki’s better than anybody.”

“What do you mean ‘Loki’s?” He asked, it hadn’t occurred to him that the plural had been used earlier either.

“A fugitive Variant’s been killing our Minutemen.“ Mobius told him, causing Loki to raise his eyebrows.

"And you need the God of Mischief to help you stop him?” He asked as he stepped closer to Mobius

“That’s right.” He nodded.

“Why me?”

“Because” Mobius began, “the Variant we’re hunting is you.” Loki’s eyebrows raised in confusion at this.

“I beg your pardon?” Loki said, they were hunting him?

-

Loki agreed to help and was quickly tasked with watching educational videos about the TVA, their policies and protocols but his mind kept wandering back to you. You were here somewhere, risking your life by withholding information. He admired you more than he wanted to admit and knew he had to meet you.

“Hey.” Mobius greeted as he walked up to his desk to see Loki sat with his feet up.

Before he could say anything else Loki spoke:

“I went to see her.”

It wasn’t a surprising statement to Mobius, in fact he’d been waiting for Loki to ask since he first heard about you. After the first outing with Loki to track the Variant down, he admitted he was growing fond of the God, so despite restrictions he nodded.

“I thought you might want to. Leave it to me, I’ll sort something out.”

-

You sat on the floor, eyes dry as you’d long ran out of tears.

It isn’t real.

You kept repeating the statement to yourself, not wanting to forget. It was so easy to forget that this wasn’t real. If you let yourself you could pretend Loki was alive, you could give in and lose yourself forever in this fake world they had conjured up for you.

Somehow you resisted, though as the days dragged on it was getting harder.

Every few minutes the scene would reset itself when you didn’t play your part.

Loki would stroll in through the door, calling out for you.

You remembered the moment they were playing for you, you were supposed to meet him at the door and he would bring you in for a soft kiss. He had had a long day at the Grandmaster’s side, playing his part so the two of you could escape.

It had been weeks since you had first arrived, breathing a sigh of relief when Loki stood in front of you. You were welcomed immediately once the Grandmaster found out you knew Loki and since then he had been working his way up in the man’s good graces.

After the two of you pulled away from each other you were supposed to go over to the sofa where Loki would wrap you up in his arms, tucking you in so your head rested under his chin. He’d place soft kisses on your forehead and let his fingers dance along your skin.

It was a moment of peace for the pair of you.

Then the scene diverged from how it should of continued, instead Loki told you how you were merely a pawn in his game, you had run your course and he no longer needed you, he told you how glad he was to be rid of you, how you were a villain just like him, he told you to stop playing the hero, reminded you of all the people you’d hurt, all the lives you ruined until you couldn’t take it anymore.

Right now, Loki was berating you, you wanted to cry, you wanted to scream and punch the walls and beg him to stop. You had done all of that in the early days and it made no difference, the scene always played on no matter how much you begged.

They said if you told them about Loki they’d let you go but you refused to talk. He might be dead but according to them there were other Loki’s out there and whilst none would ever come close to your Loki, you wouldn’t betray any of them.

You didn’t know how much time had passed, it could’ve been mere minutes or years, but the orange light appeared in the shape of a doorway and a man was stepping through.

Mobius.

You liked him. He was always nice to you even though you knew it frustrated him when you wouldn’t give any information up, he never hurt you like the others.

“Hello Y/N.” He said, his voice soft and smile friendly.

“Mobius.” You greeted, voice empty of emotion.

Mobius hated seeing you like this, he really did. He remembered you when they first brought in, so full of fight and spirit. Seeing you this broke didn’t sit right with him.

“C’mon.” He said, holding out a hand for you to grab, frowning when you flinched.

After an awkward pause you did take the offered hand and let Mobius take you through the doorway.

“No.” You said as you stepped out, turning to go back through the door but it was already closed.

“Y/N,” Mobius began, his voice changing to resemble that of how someone would talk to a frightened animal.

“No, not here, only in there,” you said, gesturing to the empty space where the door was only moments before. “He’s never here.”

“Y/N, this is Loki.” Mobius tried again but before he got the chance to give you an explanation, you exploded.

“My Loki is dead, Mobius!” You yelled pushing Mobius away, the fight you had thought long gone coming back stronger than ever, you felt the anger build inside of you, it felt like it was going to burn you alive. You hadn’t cried in a long time but the tears came pouring down rapidly now. “He’s dead, I watched him die! So don’t stand there and tell me he’s my Loki. Whatever kind of torture this is, it won’t work. You hear me, I hope the Loki your tracking finds you first, I hope he burns this place to the ground.” Despite the anger and the yelling, Mobius couldn’t help but smile as you echoed some of Loki’s first words to him.

“Y/N, is it?” Loki said, taking a hesitant step towards you.

You turned away from him, refusing to play whatever game Mobius had set up.

“I’m afraid I don’t quite know what to say, it feels like you know everything about me and I so little about you.” Loki confessed, he really was at a loss but seeing you so sad, so broken, so tortured…it pained him.

“You’re not my Loki.” You whispered harshly, though it sounded like you were trying to convince yourself rather than him.

“No, I’m afraid I’m not, for I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting you yet. Though I do envy my future self for having got so much time with you but perhaps it was better that way, I don’t think you would have liked this version of me as much.” Loki was shocked to find he believed the words wholeheartedly.

“You’re not my Loki.” Was your only reply.

“I know.” Loki repeated. “I am from your timeline though. I’m the Loki that just lost to the Avengers in New York.” Here he watched as you looked to Mobius, who gave you a sincere smile whilst nodding.

Then you turned to look at him.

“2012 Loki?” You asked, wiping at your eyes.

“Yes. I was captured and Thor was ready to take me to Asgard when the tesseract was released and I made my escape.” He watched as you played the information over in your head, matching it up with events you remembered.

“That’s when the TVA got you?” You asked, hesitant to believe it but Mobius was the only one who hadn’t lied to you yet.

“That’s when the TVA got me.” Loki confirmed, shooting you a small smile. “I heard they got you because you tried to save me.”

“Tried being the key word,” you scoffed, “I was so close, but they whisked me away and reset the timeline. I’ve been here ever since.”

“Staying loyal to a dead man?” Loki asked, causing you to smile.

“My Loki might be dead but there are other Loki’s out there, I refuse to betray any of them, especially one causing the TVA so much trouble.” You said, missing the way Mobius grinned.

“Your Loki must have meant an awful lot to you to inspire so much loyalty.”

“My Loki meant everything to me.” Was your reply.

There was a pause in the room and Mobius was quick to gesture to the chairs around the table. You hesitated for a moment which Loki noticed and he moved to pull a chair out for you. You couldn’t help but smile at him, the gesture was something you had become so used to, God you missed him.

“So, this Variant?” Loki asked, looking away from you to Mobius.

The three of you spent the next few hours going over the information the TVA had on the Variant and if Loki moved closer to you…well who could possibly blame him?

-

“Oh, my goodness. Don’t tell me the Variant ambushed and killed another team of Minutemen?” Here Loki paused to let out an exaggerated gasp causing you to laugh silently into the palm of your hand. “And stole their reset charge as well.” You couldn’t help but let out a snort of laughter causing Loki to grin widely before the two of you were shushed.

You both froze as you locked eyes with Loki, you raised your eyebrow at him causing him to smirk. Slowly he turned around to see the librarian and shushed her back.

You couldn’t have wiped the smile off of your face if you tried.

-

“Wait, I’ve got it!” Loki exclaimed after a long silence were the two of you continued reading the files Mobius had left.

“What?” You asked, looking up at him.

You watched as Loki scooped the folders up before reaching a hand out to you, you didn’t hesitate as you took it and let him pull you along.

“Where are we going?” You laughed.

“To show Mobius.” He told you, looking back to smile at you before hurrying over to Mobius who was sitting with a lunch tray.

“I found something.” Loki said, placing the files on the table and taking a seat, dragging you into the seat next to him, so close your knees brushed together.

Mobius ignored his words as he replied, “No, I said don’t bother me until you’ve read all the files.”

“We have read them all.” You and Loki said together, pausing to look at each other with small smiles and turning back to Mobius who watched the two of you with a raised eyebrow.

It wasn’t long before you were hiding a smile as Loki demonstrated how his theory worked using Mobius’ salad as Asgard and another worker’s drink and some salt. One of the many things you loved about Loki was how expressive he was when he was explaining something, especially when it was something he was passionate about. The hand gestures, the demonstrations, even just how elegantly he spoke…you loved watching him talk like this. There was an ache in your chest at seeing this again, but you managed to push it aside.

“There’s the apocalypse.” Loki said with a proud smile.

“That’s the apocalypse?” Mobius asked looking down at his, now ruined, lunch.

“If everything around you is destined to lead up to that one moment then whatever you do won’t have an impact,” You said looking from the salad to Loki who was nodding at you with a pleased expression, “right?”

“Exactly!” He exclaimed. “So, the Variant hides out in these apocalypses,”

“And nobody would ever know because whatever that Loki is doing can’t affect anything, whatever they do doesn’t stop the apocalypse.” You finished and Loki looked so pleased as he turned to face you.

“Not bad.” Mobius said, causing you and Loki to quickly look away from each other, making Mobius chuckle.

-

As Loki and Mobius tested the apocalypse theory out, you were forced to stay behind. Whilst you were allowed to help out with the research work, Renslayer had denied you access to leave the TVA.

You were sort of glad for the opportunity to be alone. Seeing Loki again was hard, he was so much like your Loki which made sense because technically he was your Loki just an earlier version of him. His mannerisms were so similar that sometimes you had to pause to catch your breath as the ache in your chest grew.

Sometimes Mobius sent Loki on a task when he saw you were getting overwhelmed and in the few minutes of Loki’s absence, Mobius would sit with you and talk just above a whisper, sometimes he praised you, sometimes he told you stories, whatever he did always grounded you and you were so thankful to the man.

Some days it was almost like the time cell they had you in were you just wanted to pretend that he was the Loki you knew, pretend that he knew you too. You wanted him to wrap his arms around you and just let the world fall away. It would’ve been so easy to do it but you pushed through it and carried on with the helping find the other Loki.

-

“So, tell me where you’re going again.” You asked Loki as Mobius spoke with somebody.

“Earth, more precisely Haven Hills, Alabama, 2050. It’s a corporate town owned by Roxxcart until it’s wiped out by a hurricane.” Loki told you.

“And that’s where you think Loki’s hiding?” Loki looked at you watching as you nervously bit your lip. He frowned seeing how worried you were.

“Hey,” Loki said, placing his hand under your chin and guiding you to look up at him. He let his palm rest against your cheek. “What’s wrong?”

You sighed as you let your eyes fall closed. You didn’t know what was wrong, you just knew something didn’t feel right.

“What if something goes wrong?” You asked instead of answering.

“It’s going to be fine.” Loki assured you with a small smile but you just shook your head before moving away from him to pace.

“You don’t know that Loki, you don’t know it’ll be fine!” You exclaimed, causing Loki’s eyes to widen in concern.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Loki whispered as he reached for you, pulling you close so that your head rested on his chest. He felt you tense up for a moment before relaxing into him and he let his hand rub comfortingly up and down your back. “Tell me what’s wrong, darling.”

That seemed to be the final straw for you and before Loki knew it you were sobbing into his chest, gripping him tightly like he’d disappear if you let go.

“It’s ok, you’re ok.” Loki continued to whisper soothing words into your hair as he held you.

Mobius turned to call Loki over, the task force ready to leave but when he saw the two of you huddled together he gestured for everyone to move away to give the two of you some privacy.

“Tell me what’s wrong, love, so I can fix it.” Loki said after you began to calm down. He pulled you away from him, frowning as you whimpered but relaxed as he just wiped your tears away, keeping you close the entire time.

“The last time I…” You trailed off, taking a shaky breath, “The last time I lost you, you told me everything would be fine. You were lying of course; you knew you were lying but I didn’t. I didn’t know just how bad it would be and now you’re going to face another Loki, one who has been avoiding and killing minutemen for longer than I’ve been alive. I can’t lose you again, I can’t lose you.” You rushed out, your voice breaking at the end as another round of tears fell from your eyes.

Loki paused for a moment and just watched you, feeling his heart clench in sympathy. He hated his future self for dying, for leaving you alone but he also knew how much he loved Thor, he’d rather the both of you live without him than him having to live without either of you. Maybe that made him selfish but he could see why his future self had made the sacrifice.

“I’m sorry, darling,” He said as he pulled you back into his arms, “I’m so sorry that you were left alone, believe me if I could change it I would no matter what I had to do but if it comes down to you or me, I’m always going to choose you. I know that after only knowing you for a short amount of time so the Loki you spent years with….well I can see why he wouldn’t hesitate. You can come with us, I’ll convince Mobius, if it’ll make you feel better, but everything really is going to be ok.” Loki promised as he placed a kiss on the top of your head.

As he turned his head, he saw Mobius who gestured that they needed to go. Silently, he pointed to you and then to Mobius, pleading with the man to let you go. He watched as Mobius frowned before looking down the hallway and back to the two of you before reluctantly nodding and mouthing “quickly.”

“Let’s go.” Loki said as he linked your hands together and led you to the task force.

Mobius smiled at you softly and you mouthed a thank you towards him before you were all being ushered through the doorway.

-

The rain was…well it was apocalyptic. You watched as Loki looked up at the sky as it thundered dangerously with a small smile, your Loki did that too, just looked up at the sky and thought of Thor when the weather was stormy.

Once the task force was inside Loki used his magic to dry the two of you off causing you to jump slightly, it had been so long since you’d been around magic.

“Thank you.” You said and Loki just smiled down at you.

“The hell was that?” One of the agents asked, causing Loki to grin cheekily.

“That was me using magic to dry our clothes so we don’t announce ourselves with every squeaky footstep like the rest of you.” You couldn’t help but snort, causing Hunter B-15 to glare at you.

“Take both teams and sweep the storm shelter.” She said to the rest of the task force and everyone was quick to move.

“Loki and I are gonna check out the Green House. We’ll meet…” Mobius began but was quickly cut off by Hunter B-15.

“No.”

“No?” He asked in confusion

“You go with D-90 and take Y/L/N with you. He stays with me.” She said, causing Loki to glance first at Mobius then you, you watched him with a concerned look but eventually nodded.

Mobius and Hunter B-15 bickered back and forth before Loki cut in.

“Mobius, it’s fine. It’s fine. You can trust me. I understand I have to earn that, so, I will.” He said, again looking from Mobius to you. You smiled at him, causing him to smile back.

“Why is it the people you can’t trust are always saying, “Trust me”?” Mobius muttered to you before turning to Hunter B-15, “Okay, try to hang on to your Time Collar this time. We’ll see you in the showroom.”

And with that everyone went their separate ways.

-

“You can trust him, you know.” You told Mobius once you were far away enough from the others.

“No, you can trust him.” Mobius said with a fond smile. “Me however, well we’ll see.”

The two of you walked behind the group following as they led you into a room full of people seeking refuge.

“Check the bag for reset chargers.” One of the hunters said and everyone was quick to set to work as the people around you panicked.

“Hey! These people are scared.” Mobius snapped at one of the hunters who was being particularly vicious towards the people, looking at him now you recognised him as one of your harsher interrogators.

“They’re about to die. They should be scared.” He snapped back causing your eyes to widen in horror at the harshness.

“Not of us.” Mobius said calmly.

“Please we’ve got women and children.” A man said as he gently grabbed your arm and pleaded with you. You looked at him with tears in your eyes.

“I’m so sorry.” You whispered before Mobius led you away. “You’re really going to let these people die?”

“Our job isn’t to save them.” Mobius said sadly, sympathising with you. The first few missions are always the hardest.

“No,” You scoffed as you moved away from him, “your job is to make sure they die.” You hissed before stalking out of the room.

Tears made their way down your face as you left the room but you angrily brushed them away as you tried to find Loki. You had always thought something seemed off with the TVA but seeing their work up close made you nauseous.

A thud snapped you out of your thoughts and you peeked around a corner just in time to see Hunter B-15 hit the floor. You spared her little thought; Mobius would find her and instead you followed Loki.

You saw Loki standing alone but talking to somebody.

“I see, that’s your plan, lure us all here so you can blow the place up.”

You watched as a giant of a man came from nowhere and kicked Loki in the chest sending him flying backwards. The man, a Loki perhaps?, just thanked him for helping stall for time before hitting him again sending him further back. Loki used his magic but still the man showed no signs of slowing down.

“Stop hiding.” Loki commanded, causing you to raise an eyebrow. More than likely the Loki variant then, hiding in the bodies of refugees.

A sick feeling suddenly came over you as you watched the Loki variant choke Loki, images of Thanos and Loki invaded your mind and it took everything for you to stay quiet.

You breathed a sigh of relief as he let Loki go though it was short lived as Loki went flying again, smashing into one of the stands.

The Loki variant’s eyes turned green before the man hit the floor with a laugh, suddenly there was a hooded figure with glowing green hands standing behind him. As Loki’s voice bounced around the room, the Loki variant pulled his hood down.

There stood a woman. Loki in her true form.

“This isn’t about you.” She snarled.

“Right.” Loki said, sounding dubious before the power shut down. The last thing you saw was a smirk on the Loki variant’s face.

The lighting turned red as the Loki variant picked up a tempad, you watched as the familiar orange doorway appeared and that bad feeling you had about Loki coming here grew painfully.

This wasn’t going to end well for anybody.

She waved at Loki before stepping through the doorway and moments later Mobius, Hunter B-15 and another Hunter where running down the hallway shouting for Loki to stop.

“Loki, wait!” Mobius pleaded and Loki actually looked torn before shaking his head and walking towards the door.

“Loki!” You yelled, finally stepping out from behind one of the isles.

Here Loki paused before turning to you, his eyes were wide as he looked at you and, in that moment, you knew what would happen.

“Please.” You whispered and he looked crushed.

Mobius was near him now, nearly within distance to grab him, to push him away from that damned doorway but he was too late.

‘I’m sorry darling.’ Loki mouthed before he ran through the doorway.

The orange faded to nothing just as Mobius reached it and you could do nothing but stare at the doorway with an aching heart.

Read part two here!

Secrets & Sleepovers

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Prompt - ‘So if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me for I too, am fluent in silence.’

Night after night Spiderman took to the streets fighting bad guys for hours on end and then had to attend school the next day on very little sleep. For the most part, he managed, the spider bite giving him all sorts of cool abilities, one of them being able to last longer without sleep than regular humans.

School was a nightmare most days. The workload was piling higher and higher as the semesters went on and on top of that he had to deal with Flash on a regular basis. The lack of sleep made him more susceptible to losing it on Flash but he somehow managed to keep it to verbal arguments lately. The last thing he needed was to accidentally expose his powers in a fight with Flash.

Peter Parker loved being Spiderman but some days it was all too much. Every little noise, the scent of the city, the feel of his clothing, his senses became overwhelmed and all he wanted to do was hide under his blanket and sleep for weeks.

Unfortunately that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. With exams around the corner and someone needing to look out for the little guys, Peter was overworking himself and it was only a matter of time before he crashed and burned.

You let out a loud groan as you let your head hit the textbook in front of you, missing the way Peter smirked at you.

“If I ever have to look at another math book again, I may cry.” You grumbled into the book. You and Peter were currently sitting in the library studying for an upcoming exam.

When you had first sat down, you had raised an eyebrow at Peter. He looked like he hadn’t gotten any sleep judging by the dark circles under his eyes, there was also bruising around his left jaw and a small cut just below his hairline. When you had asked him about it he shrugged it off and told you he was staying up late studying and that bruise was just him being clumsy. You weren’t sure you believed it but you let it go for now.

“Considering we got to a school that specialises in that stuff, I’m not liking your chances.” Peter grinned, causing you to sit up and throw a crumpled up piece of paper at him.

“Hey!” He exclaimed with a laugh. Moments later you heard a shushing noise causing you both to quietly chuckle.

“Let’s take a break.” Peter suggested, moving to put his books in his bag. You were in desperate need of some food and a stretch so you were quick to follow.

It wasn’t long until the two of you had found a small diner and had a selection of food in front of you.

You noticed how Peter shifted and winced a few times before settling in.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” You asked again.

Peter cursed himself, he thought he was good at hiding his secret but you always managed to see through the lies he gave. It was another downside to having this mutation, the lying. He was constantly lying to you, to Aunt May, to everyone but he couldn’t risk anyone finding out. He wouldn’t risk the people he cared about getting hurt because of him.

“I’m fine,” Peter assured with a bright smile, it was hard not to smile back though the concern didn’t go away. “Trust me, after finals I’ll be good as new.” He knew that wasn’t true but he just wanted you to stop worrying about him. With all the stress right now the last thing he wanted was to add to that.

“Ok, ok, I’ll drop it but if you wanna talk about anything…”

“I know and I appreciate it, Y/N/N, I really do.” With that you finally did let the topic drop. Peter was right, everyone was stressed and overly tired right now.

-

The days were starting to blend into each other. Peter was struggling to get through the day, dreading the nights where he would fight crime but if he didn’t do it and somebody got hurt...that was on him.

Nobody else would feel the pain he felt, not when he could do the things he could.

Peter was sitting on the roof of a tall building, legs dangling over the edge. He’d long taken his mask off, knowing he was safe up here. Tonight had started off rough, he’d stopped a mugging but had taken a few hits from the man's knife and plenty of bruises were quickly developing on his face. Thankfully his healing speed meant that the knife wound had knitted itself together quite quickly to stop the bleeding but that only made him more exhausted.

He wouldn’t know where the bruises ended on his face and where the bags under his eyes started. He so desperately wanted to do nothing more than clasp into bed.

He was exhausted.

Shaking his head, he blinked hard against the sudden wetness in his eyes, cursing himself for becoming so emotional but he couldn’t help it. Between school and secret identities, he was stretching himself way too thin.

With a sigh Peter stood up. He had to get moving otherwise he’d end up falling asleep on some cold rooftop. He swung for what felt like hours, really it couldn’t have been more than twenty minutes, before landing on a fire escape.

He hadn’t realised it but somehow he had ended up at your house. The curtains were still open and he could see the soft glow of the lamp.

Mentally he chastised himself for coming here but who could blame him? You had always had a way of making him feel safe, making him feel like everything was ok even when it was falling to pieces. When he had lost Uncle Ben you had been his rock. So who could blame him for subconsciously seeking you out when he was feeling like this.

He looked in the window and saw you sat at your desk, books and papers spread out in what looked like a chaotic mess but he knew you would know exactly where everything was.

He wanted so desperately to knock on your window, to just sit with you in silence and feel like the world wasn’t about to crumble but he knew he couldn’t.

For starters he was still in the Spiderman suit and secondly he knew if you caught a glimpse of him now, bruised and beaten, you wouldn’t stop until you found out his secret.

He stood up, ready to leave and continue swinging around for a few more hours despite the exhaustion. You however heard something outside and turned to look, from your seat at the desk you had a perfect view of the fire escape just outside your window and your eyes widened as you saw Peter.

You ran over to the window, pushing it open before Peter had a chance to move and the two of you froze, locking eyes with each other waiting for someone to break the silence.

When the silence stretched for an uncomfortable amount of time you spoke;

“You’re Spiderman.” You stated rather than asked, the evidence was clear before your eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Was Peter’s quiet reply, his eyes grew wet as he tried to hold back tears. You took in each cut and bruise on his face, wincing in sympathy. It explained a lot really but you’d seen the videos of Spiderman, you’d seen the risk he put himself in time and time again.

You didn’t like it but even without Peter’s explanation, which you would definitely be getting, you knew he wouldn’t ever give Spiderman up, knew how much responsibility he must have been putting on himself. The exhaustion made a lot of sense.

“Come in.” You said, stepping out of the way so he could climb in. Peter hesitated but did as you asked, standing awkwardly by your window as you rummaged around in your closet.

It took a few moments but eventually you found a pair of sweatpants and an old shirt you’d stolen from Peter and held them out for him, smiling as he raised an eyebrow at you.

“I think you own more of my clothes than I do.” He joked but you could still see the tension in his shoulders, giving away just how anxious he was causing you to sigh.

“Listen, I’m not angry and I’m not going to ask you to give Spiderman up or anything. Hell, I’m not even completely surprised it’s you behind the mask. Sure I wish you would’ve told me but I get why you didn’t.” You told him sincerely, stepping forward and reaching up to lightly touch his bruised cheek. “You’re so brave. I promise we can talk about it in the morning but you look exhausted.”

“I’m so tired,” He whispered, his eyes falling shut as he leaned into your touch, “God, I’m so tired.” He repeated.

You took his hand and guided him to your bed, making sure he was tucked in before climbing in yourself. Peter was quick to move from his side and rest his head on your stomach causing you to smile down at him. You let your fingers settle in his hair, gently running your finger through it causing him to cuddle closer to you.

You continued to stroke his hair long after he had fallen asleep, a warm feeling spreading inside of you with every happy sigh he gave in his sleep. You were determined to make sure Peter was well rested and looked after from now on, seeing just how bad things had gotten for him. The pressure you knew he would put on himself would be enough to make anyone crack but Peter had held himself so well.

It wasn’t long before you were falling asleep too, a smile on your face as Peter reached for your hand whilst murmuring incoherent words.

Some Things Are Worth The Risk

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Prompt - 'But he'd learned long ago that a life lived without risks pretty much wasn't worth living.’

Working for the FBI and hiding secrets, especially when you worked in the BAU surrounded by some of the best profilers in the world, was incredibly difficult but by some miracle you had managed it. The first few months on the job were terrible, you kept to yourself despite the team's attempt to draw you in, you dreaded every time you were called into Hotch’s office, thinking that he knew what you were hiding.

Eventually though, after months on the job you figured if they hadn’t found you out by now then it was unlikely they would. You began to relax, accepting the invitations for drinks at the bar and going to the dinners Rossi hosted. The team didn’t question the change in your behaviour, they just assumed that you were shy and it had taken you a while to adjust to everything.

Though you never forgot the secret, the weight of it constantly felt like it was resting on your shoulders, hell it was the whole reason you had joined the BAU to begin with, but you’d gotten so good at hiding it that some days it was easy to ignore it.

So when Hotch called you at three in the morning with a new case, you had no reason to be worried. Why would you be? It was standard to get called at all hours for a case, there was no rest for the unsubs. It hadn’t taken you too long to get to the air strip but everyone else was already on the jet when you walked in. You took the empty seat next to Hotch, sitting opposite Rossi and Spencer. Everyone looked to be in various states of waking up and you knew you were no better, eyes more shut than they were open, fully intending on falling back asleep once the jet was in the air.

Hotch didn’t start talking until the jet had taken off. He handed out the files to you all and you flicked it open, not paying too much attention to where you were going, your eyes going straight to the pictures. All the women looked similar, all in their mid to late thirties, all with the same skin colour, hair colour and length. Each woman had one slash wound across their neck, which was determined to be the cause of death, each had been stabbed twice, once in the stomach and once the right thigh and each woman had chemical burns on their eyes due to bleach being poured into them.

As you read over the information you found yourself subconsciously sitting up straighter, eyes widening with each bit of information. You knew that MO but there was no way it could be who you thought…it was impossible. A life sentence prevented it from being the person you thought it was.

Hotch noticed your tense form and gently nudged your shoulder with his. As you let yourself get closer with the team, you found yourself getting especially close to Aaron Hotchner, you weren’t even sure how it had happened but before you knew it you found yourself being invited to his house for dinner with him and Jack or going out alone for dinner when Jess offered to watch his son. You found yourself developing feelings for the older man, knowing that it couldn’t go anywhere, he was your supervisor and the director was already breathing down the BAU’s neck. It didn’t mean you would stop spending time with him or savouring the small touches he gave you.

“You ok?” He whispered when you didn’t look away from the file in your hand. Before you could respond Penelope’s voice was sounding through the jet.

“I’d love to be the bearer of good news once in a while but that has yet to happen,” As she spoke you looked up at Aaron and gave him a small nod, forcing a smile on your face. He didn’t look convinced but he let it go for now, you knew the second he got you alone though he would question you again.

“Another victim?” Tara asked.

"Yes, no ID yet but I should have one for you by the time you land. She was found the same way the other victims were, in her home, tied to a chair with the same,” here Penelope paused to grimace before gesturing to the screens in front of her with a pink fluffy pen, “wounds. Local police are waiting for you guys before they move the body.” Penelope informed you all before saying goodbye.

“Reid, Morgan I want the two of you to head straight to the newest crime scene. JJ, go to the station and get a head start on the media. Lewis and Dave, head to the last crime scenes and see if you can see anything. Y/N, you and I will head to the ME and see what they can tell us.” Everyone nodded along and began to strap themselves in for the land.

You had a bad feeling about this case.

-

“So each victim has the same set out ligature marks on each wrist but there are no defensive wounds. All the victims have the same stab wounds but what interested me about them was how precise they were.” The medical examiner said as she gestured for you to look at the pictures displayed.

“They’re in the exact same place each time.” Hotch said as he stepped forward to examine them.

“Yes, whoever did this also knew exactly where to hit so that the victims would be in an excruciating amount of pain but wouldn’t bleed out. There were also chemical wounds in their eyes created using bleach.”

As the medical examiner spoke you continued to examine the bodies whilst Hotch looked at the different images displayed. The MO was too similar to ignore and you knew there was one thing missing, one thing that if you confirmed was there would send you spiralling. You knew where to look but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

The medical examiner and Hotch continued talking and you took a deep breath, glad Hotch’s attention wasn’t on you, if he glanced at you now he would have immediately pulled you from the room and made you tell him what was wrong.

You stepped closer to one of the bodies, it wouldn’t be there, you thought, it couldn’t be there because there was a life sentence in place that meant this couldn’t happen again. You squeezed your eyes shut before opening them again and pulling the sheet of the victim, it took a moment before you let your eyes shift down to the victims left hand.

“Y/N.” Hotch said, turning to face you after hearing a crash. You had pulled away from the victim so fast and ended up crashing into the table full of supplies, sending them toppling down to the floor. “Y/N.” Hotch said again, hurrying over to your side.

Tears fell down your face and you felt the air leave your lungs. You gasped for breath and felt your head felt like it was pounding. This couldn’t be happening but the evidence was right there in front of you, a small cross carved onto the victim’s fourth finger right where a wedding ring would rest.

“Y/N, hey, listen to me.” You heard Hotch say softly, though you could hear the slight panic in his tone. “Copy my breathing.” He instructed and though it took a long while eventually your breathing evened out and the feeling of being light headed started to subside.

Hotch watched you collect yourself as best you could with tears still running down your face before he spoke.

“What is it, Y/N?” He asked softly.

“I know who the killer is.” Was your whispered reply.

-

Hotch drove the two of you to the precinct, neither of you saying a word as you followed him into the conference room. Everyone looked up at his arrival, Derek ready to fill him in on what they gathered but one look at your puffy, red eyes cut him short.

“What’s going on?” He asked instead.

“Get Garcia on the phone now.” Hotch requested, Tara was quick to call the woman who answered cheerily.

“Garcia, I need you to look up a William Parker quickly.” He said and Penelope promptly started typing, the only sound to be heard as they awaited her answer.

“Um, right, here it is, William Parker, aged 53, born in…Charlevoix, Michigan. He had a wife and a daughter.” Garcia read out and Hotch turned to look back at you. You hadn’t told him how you knew Parker, only that you were sure he was the killer. He hadn’t doubted you, not after a reaction like that, he trusted you on this.

“Had?” Derek asked, leaning forward in his seat, "What happened to them, baby girl?”

Hotch was still watching you and saw how you tensed up, what was going on?

“Give me a sec, I’m getting them unsealed right now.” It took a couple of minutes in which the team shot each other looks of confusion and looks of concern in your direction but Penelope let out a small ‘ah ha’ and drew their attention back to the phone. “Wow, ok, are you thinking this guys your unsub because if so I’d say you're absolutely right.”

“How so, Garcia?” Hotch asked. You glanced up and saw him looking at you. It was taking everything in you not to flee the room right now.

“Well, he was arrested years back for killing his wife. Police showed up at the house when their neighbour called the police after hearing crying for hours. They found the wife tied to a chair, two stab wounds in the stomach and right thigh, bleach in the eye and a slash wound to the neck.” Here Penelope gasped, “Oh no.”

“What baby girl?” Derek asked.

“The crying. Parker’s daughter was found covered in a mix of her and her mom’s blood. She was tied against the chair her mom was in, covered in cuts and bruises.” Hotch, who still had yet to take his eyes off you, watched as you rubbed your wrists the realisation hitting him.

“Garcia, what happened to the kid?” Rossi asked and Hotch saw your body shake with silent sobs.

“She got placed in witness protection so it’ll take me a while to find out exactly where she is now but it seemed she was moved out of state after giving evidence at her dad’s trial.” Penelope said as she clicked a link before gasping. You might have been young in that picture but she’d know your face anywhere.

“Oh my god.” Penelope said, tears filling her own eyes. That was the confirmation Hotch needed and he immediately wrapped you in his arms, everyone’s attention turning to you as you let out heart wrenching sobs.

“Garcia,” Derek says, not wanting it to be true.

“It’s Y/N, our Y/N.” She says quietly, the room falling silent except for the sounds of your sobbing.

-

Spencer handed you a cup of water before taking a seat next to you. You looked up at him, shooting him a grateful smile. You had managed to calm down a bit with Hotch’s help and now you were sitting at the table in between Spencer and Hotch. Everyone was shooting you concerned looks but you couldn’t look at them. Penelope was on the phone as the team set to work on finding where Parker was now.

“Wait, so this guy should be serving a life sentence, right?” Derek asked Penelope who began typing again.

“He was charged with life in prison but two weeks ago he got transferred and managed to escape.” Penelope told them, “It seems Parker and another man Lewis Miller managed to escape but Miller was caught pretty quickly.”

“Y/N,” Tara starts carefully, “how did you know this was him?”

“The MO was too similar to ignore but I was hoping,” You began but cut yourself off as tears began to fill your eyes. Hotch frowned sympathetically as he placed his hand on one of yours and you let yourself take comfort from the touch. You took a shaky breath before continuing, “I was hoping, maybe it was a copycat, you know? All that information was released to the press but there was one thing he did to my mom,” You choked out. Spencer pushed the water in your direction causing you to smile and take small sips. “He carved a small ‘x’ into her ring finger right where her wedding ring would sit. When Hotch and I were with the ME, I checked and the victims had the same carvings.”

With that you turned into Hotch, despite the chair's arms in between and he wrapped both his arms around you.

“We’ll find him.” He promised, smiling sadly when he felt you nod against his chest.

-

“There’s been a new body but there’s something different.” The chief informed you all as he entered the conference room you’d been given.

“What is it?” Hotch asked, standing up.

“The woman, it was a girl in her mid twenties.” He said and the whole team turned to look at you. You only had eyes for Hotch though, he turned to see you looking at him with fear in your eyes.

“Hey,” he said, making his way over to you and leaning down so that you were eye level. “This is not your fault, you understand me?” He asked.

“Hotch,” you choked out but the older man cut you off.

“No, Y/N, this, none of this is your fault. I promise.” It was like those were the words you needed to hear, you let out a shaky breath and nodded. “You need to stay here, ok?”

“No, Aaron please. I need to be on this case.” You pleaded but you could see the man wasn’t going to budge.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, but somehow he knows you’re here, that’s the only reason he’d change victimology. I can’t, I won’t risk you getting hurt. I promise you we’ll catch him but for me to do that, you have to stay here, where I know you’re safe.” Hotch told you and the sincerity of it had you nodding. You didn’t like it but ultimately you knew he was right.

“Okay.” You said, causing him to give you a small smile.

“Thank you.” He said before straightening up and pulling you into his arms. “We’ll get him.” He repeated and you nodded against his chest, fully believing him.

“I’ll stay with her.” Rossi offered as the rest of the team headed for the door. Hotch shot his friend a grateful look before turning to leave himself.

Nobody hurt you and got away with it.

-

On the way to the latest crime scene Penelope called Hotch and informed them that she had combed through security camera footage and found Parker driving away. The two SUV’s turned their sirens on and broke every road law there was, following Penelope’s instructions and taking one too many sharp turns that left them clutching their seats but eventually they caught up with the man.

Parker instantly sped up upon seeing two SUV’s but that didn’t deter them and Hotch pressed his foot even harder to the pedal. When Parker made a sharp right turn down a dirt road, Hotch spoke up.

“Garcia, where does the lead?” He heard her typing as she desperately tried to find something of interest but nothing came up.

“Nowhere, sir.” She replied.

“There has to be something!” Hotch snapped, missing the look of concern Spencer gave him from the passenger seat.

“Sir, there’s nothing ther-wait a second, ok, there’s a cabin. Not too far from where you are now, another two minutes down that road.” Penelope rushed out.

“Thank you, Penelope.” Spencer replied as he watched Hotch’s face harden.

“Go get him.” Penelope commanded.

-

The SUV hadn’t come to a full stop as Hotch jumped out of it, chasing after Parker with his gun drawn. Parker had fled into the house and Hotch didn’t hesitate before he kicked it open and entered, the team following close behind.

They split up, Tara and JJ heading upstairs whilst Derek headed down to the basement and Spencer and Hotch searched the ground floor.

Hotch paused when he heard something scrape and turned to see the back door open. He was quick to run out, spotting Parker instantly. He didn’t have a shot, not from there and chased after him.

“Parker’s on foot, backdoor, into the woods.” Hotch said through the comms.

“Copy.”

Hotch continued to chase Parker through the woods before coming to a halt. The trail split into two different turnings…Hotch had lost him. He lowered his gun as he cursed himself for letting Parker get away before he spun around after hearing a gun click.

“So you’re the bastard who got my daughter.” Parker spat, looking Hotch up and down.

“And you’re the bastard who tied her to her dead mom after torturing her.” Hotch said as he cocked his gun.

“Ah, ah, ah,” Parker says, smirking at Hotch. “You can’t shoot me, I haven’t done anything to prevent you making an arrest.”

“The way I see it,” Hotch began, not taking his finger off the trigger. “There’s no-one here but us.” He said, smirking at the man in an attempt to aggravate him. He watched as Derek and Spencer appeared behind the man but hidden behind trees with their guns drawn.

“You wouldn’t.” Parker said, his face darkening as he took a step back.

“You really want to test that theory?” Hotch asked and with that Parker pulled the trigger. Hotch, having been expecting it, managed to move before the bullet left the gun and both Spencer and Derek fired their own weapons.

He watched as Parker’s body fell to the floor and Derek confirmed he was dead.

-

“He’s really gone?” You asked Hotch, who nodded and smiled softly as you fell against his chest.

“He’s really gone.” He reassured you, wrapping his arms around your waist and letting his head rest against yours after placing a soft kiss against your hair.

“Thank you.” You whispered.

“You never had to thank me.” Hotch replied, his tone as soft as yours.

“God,” You groaned when the two of you pulled away from each other as everyone else came out of the police station, “I never wanna come back to this damned town again.” You said, causing everyone to laugh.

“Let’s get you home, mama.” Derek said as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you against him and kissing your temple before leading you over to the SUV.

Hotch watched with a smile as Derek held the door open for you and you got into the car with a soft giggle.

“When are you going to ask her out?” Rossi asked from his spot next to Hotch.

“When we get home.” Hotch replied, shocking both himself and Rossi. He hadn’t actually been considering it but he knew it was right. Screw what people would say, you were right for him and hopefully you felt the same way about him.

“Attaboy.” Rossi smirked before heading over to the SUV.

Hotch stood there for a moment, just smiling to himself before Spencer pulled him out of his thoughts by placing a hand on his shoulder.

“You ready to leave?” He asked.

“Yes.” Hotch grimaced causing Spencer to smile and with that the two men made their way over to the SUV’s before leaving the town behind them all.

-

“Wait,” Tara said, causing everyone to look at her. You were sitting next to Hotch, letting your head rest against his shoulder whilst his arm was wrapped around your waist. Spencer and Rossi sat opposite you with JJ and Derek sitting on the sofa and Tara standing in the walkway. “Is your name even really Y/N?” She asked, causing everyone to look at you.

“It is, they wanted to change it, said it was protocol but, well you know me, I’m not one for protocol.” You said, causing everyone to laugh. “I managed to convince them to let me keep my first name and then my last name came from my mom’s side, my nan’s maiden name.”

“Y/F/N /Y/L/N, it suits you much better.” JJ said, making you smile.

“I like to think so.” You laughed.

“So when you said you grew up in New York?” Derek prompted.

“I got relocated there. The family I was placed with, they weren’t the best but they were nothing compared to my dad so I just stuck it out for the next few years and then moved here to start with the FBI program.” You all continued to talk for the entire plane ride about your past and you found it was easier to talk about.

Even though your dad had been in prison, as far as you had known anyway, there was always that lingering anxiety in the back of your head. Clearly it was for good reason, you couldn’t believe he had broken out but Aaron…Aaron made sure he couldn’t hurt you again.

You smiled to yourself as you cuddled further into him, heat spreading across your cheeks when you felt him tighten his grip.

-

“Oh my gosh, you’re ok!” Penelope said as soon as the elevator doors opened. You stepped out and let yourself be pulled into her warm embrace.

No matter how bad things got you could always count on Penelope Garcia to be there with open arms and a shoulder to cry on.

“I’m ok.” You assured her, pulling back to smile at her. “Thank you for helping them get him.” You said, watching her eyes water before she pulled you into another hug.

“I’m just so glad you’re safe.” She said before pulling away.

“Need a ride home?” Hotch asked as everyone headed to their desks.

“If you don’t mind.” You smiled.

“Of course not.” Hotch replied, shaking his head and smiling at you.

He had such a beautiful smile, all the hard lines on his face softened and he looked so much more relaxed this way.

“Thank you.” Hotch promised he’d be fast as he headed to his office to sort some things out, his report could wait until tomorrow. Right now you were his only priority. He told the rest of his team that the reports could wait, it was late and everyone should go home.

You and Hotch said goodbye to everyone before heading off to the elevator, you missing the smirk Rossi was giving Hotch.

On the ride down Hotch pondered just what he was going to say to you, how could he ask you out? Should he even ask you? If you said no it could ruin everything between you but then he thought back to how good it felt to be able to hold you in his arms, despite the awfulness of the case, and came to the conclusion that this was one of the things that was worth risking everything for.

Hotch remained silent for most of the car ride home and it was only when you spoke up he realised it.

“Are you ok?” You asked softly, drawing him from his thoughts. He cleared his throat before nodding.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. Sorry, I was just thinking…” He said before trailing off.

“Nothing bad?” You asked, biting your lip as you waited for an answer. You watched as he smiled before letting out a small chuckle.

“No, nothing bad. At least I hope it’s nothing bad.” He said, causing you to look over at him, your brows knitting together as you tilted your head questioningly. He let out a soft sigh as he pulled up to your apartment complex.

“I was thinking about you.” He confessed, his tone soft as he looked away from you. Dave had assured him multiple times that you felt the same way as he did and as much as he trusted the older profilers skills, he just couldn’t see how someone like you could be interested in him. He was so much older, he had so much baggage…he just couldn’t understand it.

“Me?” You asked, keeping your voice quiet so you didn’t disturb the quietness around you.

“Yes. You’re what I’m thinking about most of the time actually, it’s quite distracting.” He told you with a small chuckle. “I know this probably isn’t appropriate and it’s probably not the best time considering the case we just had but I wondered if maybe I could take you out for dinner some time?” He asked, trying not to fumble over his words.

You couldn’t help the smile that stretched across your face or the blush that stained your cheeks.

“Like a date?” You asked, your smiling faltering as Aaron shook his head.

“Not like a date but an actual date.” He clarified, smiling as the smile came back to your face and you let out a laugh.

“I’d like that,” You told him, “I’d really like that.”

“Good, me too.” He said, clearing his throat as he registered the fact that you had said yes. You giggled softly as he sat there silently for a second. “If we don’t have a case this weekend, are you free?”

“Yes.”

“Good, good. I’ll pick you up at 6?” He asked and you nodded.

Before either of you could speak, you let out a small yawn, only just noticing how late it had gotten.

“You should get some sleep.” Hotch said softly.

“You too.” You told him, knowing he had slept very little on this case too.

“I will.” He promised. “If you need tomorrow off,” Hotch began but you cut him off.

“No, thanks but I’m good.” You assured him, watching as his eyes searched yours before he nodded.

“Goodnight Y/N,” he whispered, leaning forward to place a soft kiss on your cheek, smiling as the blush spread across them again.

“Goodnight Aaron.” You replied, smiling over at him almost shyly before getting out of the car and making your way over to the door.

Once you pushed it open you turned to wave at him before letting the door shut behind you. You couldn’t help but lean against it, in the way that only happens in those cheesy rom-coms you watch with Penelope, smiling widely to yourself before heading up to your apartment.

Hotch was still sitting outside, smiling at the door you had just entered.

If he felt this happy after you agreed to go on a date with him, he couldn’t wait until the weekend came. This definitely was one of the things that was worth this risk and somehow, despite all the bad luck he and his team seemed to attract, he really believed this could be one of the few things that went right.

Begin Again

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Prompt - ‘In a cafe, I watched it begin again.’

Dating Derek Morgan was...it was completely refreshing honestly. Never had a man treated you as well as he did, never made you feel so confident, so happy. Your last relationship lasted for a while, you were in love with the man but he treated you like you were nothing, every little thing you did was criticised, he made you feel so small.

After the relationship had finally ended you were ready to just be on your own and you lasted for a while, you got yourself an apartment, got promoted, everything was going great but you still felt terrible as a result of the constant belittling from your relationship.

Bumping into Derek Morgan had been completely random . He was working a local case and you just so happened to be tasked with dealing with the FBI when they showed up at your workplace asking questions about a colleague who had not long been fired. Derek had been his charming self and once the case was finished he came and found you to ask if you’d like to grab a coffee with him sometime.

You weren’t quite sure if you were ready to start dating again or not but there was something about Derek that made you say yes. The two of you exchanged numbers before he left, shooting you a grin as he did.

The two of you had agreed to meet at a cafe not too far away from you. You couldn’t remember the last time you were this excited, you were dressed up nice, wearing a pair of high heels. It had been a long time since you’d worn heels, Michael hadn’t liked it when you did and it was easier to do what he said to save another argument.

After your last relationship you fully expected every guy to be like him so you were shocked when you walked in and saw Derek sat at a table waiting for you. Your ex had always been late or even stood you up without letting you know, it was humiliating, so seeing Derek there on time took you back a bit.

The second he saw you he stood up, smiling as you made your way over to him.

“Hey,” He said, his smile widening, “You look gorgeous.” He told you before he was moving to pull your seat out for you.

You paused as you watched him, never having a guy help you into your seat like this. It was such a casual move and Derek hadn’t even known how nice that was but you did.

“Thank you.” You replied, trying to hide your blush.

From there the two of you had sat and talked for hours, it was incredible how easily you were able to relax around Derek. The two of you swapped stories, admittedly Derek’s were a lot more interesting what with working with the FBI and all but when you spoke he gave you his full attention, you couldn’t help but relax as each hour passed.

Watching Derek throw his head back with laughter, you couldn’t help but remember your last relationship and you couldn’t ever remember laughing like this with him. It was strange that Derek found your stories funny when he never did.

Even though you were relaxed, you knew you were still coming off a little shy and knew Derek had to have picked up on it. He never asked though but when the date was over Derek walked you back to your car you almost told him why you had been so shy. You almost brought him up but then Derek started talking about Christmas with his family, he told you the movies they watched every year and you couldn’t help but smile at him and in that moment any thoughts of your ex left your mind.

“I had a great time tonight,” Derek told you when you stopped at your car. “Can I take you out again sometime?” He asked.

There was no hesitation this time, you knew you wanted...knew you had to see Derek again. There was something about the man, the way you were able to relax and talk so openly with him, the way you were able to laugh and joke together. There was no fear of saying the wrong thing and being shouted at, there was nothing within you telling you to get in your car and drive away from him.

In fact every instinct was telling you that Derek was special, he could be trusted.

“I’d really like that.” You told him honestly, watching as he grinned at you before leaning down to kiss your cheek softly.

“Get home safe, pretty lady.” He said as he pulled away, looking at the blush decorating your cheeks and smiling softly at you. “I’ll see you soon.”

“I hope so.” You smiled.

You hadn’t realised it then, how could you? It was a first date after all but that was the day you started falling in love with Derek Morgan. For eight long months you had thought all love ever did was break and burn and end and on a Wednesday afternoon, in a cafe, you watched it begin again.

The One

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Prompt - ‘If you wanted me you really should have showed.’

If you were to ask anybody who knew you or Jake they would have all told you the same thing; you were head over heels in love, you and Jake were the one for each other. People were more surprised to find out you weren’t dating after taking one look at the two of you and coming to the conclusion that you had to be together, friends couldn’t possibly look at each other like that.

When people asked you what the deal was between you and Jake, you just smiled. It wasn’t a happy smile but rather a smile that showed how much you wanted things to change, a smile that said I fell for my best friend hard and there’s nothing that can be done. You gave them a smile and you told them he was your friend, he was your best friend, and that was the end of it.

There had always been something between you and Jake, something that always hinted towards feelings for each other, something that gave you a spark of hope that things could change but they never did.

Things never changed.

You and Jake had hit it off pretty much straight away when you’d first met, your first day on the job Jake came up to you with a to-go cup and a bright smile on his face. He stayed with you all day, helping you navigate everything. From then on you two had become such close friends, it was a friendship that everyone should have at least once, the type of friendship were you knew what the other was thinking, what they were going to do, it was the type of friendship were you could show up at each other’s door after a bad case and not have to say anything.

It was the type of friendship that made you realise you were falling in love.

You went on for months pretending that nothing had changed. Except now you couldn’t help but look at things from a new perspective, when Jake hugged you close for longer than what was considered socially acceptable, when Jake showed up at your door with a bag filled with your favourite take out, could these things just be friendly gestures or was there a chance Jake liked you too?

-

“I call Y/N!” Was the first thing you heard as the elevator doors opened into the precinct. You walked towards Holt’s office, leaning against the door frame but staying silent.

“You can’t just call Y/N.” Amy said as she rolled her eyes at Jake who was grinning up at her.

“Ha! I just did.” Jake shot back.

“Sir, Jake always picks Y/N.” Terry said looking towards Holt who tried to look bored of the group in front of him but looking closely you could see he was amused by the conversation topic.

“Perhaps we should just let Y/N pick who her partner is.” Holt said as he gestured to you. You smiled as you watched Jake’s head shoot around as he smiled brightly at you.

You looked at Jake and hated that the first thought in your head was could he like me. Rosa had told you the way you and Jake looked at each other wasn’t how friends should look at each other but you’d always brushed her off. Since realising your feelings for the detective you could help but question if she was right.

“Y/N!” Jake greeted, “You’ll be my partner won’t you?” The over exaggerated puppy dog eyes made your heart simultaneously ache and swell at the same time. You wished this was just some school girl crush that you could shake off but it wasn’t, it was real and you ached with how much you wanted this.

“Hmm,” You pondered, watching as Jake jutted his bottom lip out some more, “I suppose somebody has to be and I can put up with you better than most people can.” You joked, smiling as he laughed and made his way over to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close.

“That’s my girl.” And oh, how you wished you were.

-

You frowned as you heard a knock on your door. It had been a long day at work, the case you’d spent weeks on had gotten nowhere and was now considered a cold case - telling the victim’s family had gone as well as expected. Now all you wanted to do was hide away from everything and everyone.

With a groan you got out of bed and headed to the front door.

“Hi.” Jake smiled sadly at you. Despite everything that had happened that day, you couldn’t help the small smile that spread across your face.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, opening the door wider.

“Thought you could use some company.” He told you and before you knew it you were being wrapped up tightly in Jake’s arms.

You couldn’t help but grip him just as tightly, cursing yourself as you did so. Being in Jake’s arms, wrapped tightly up in them like he could protect you from the world, made you feel safe. It was the safest you had felt in a long time and when he pulled away you immediately missed the warmth and comfort.

“Can I do anything?” He asked but you just shook your head, not trusting yourself to speak. “I can go, I just wanted to make sure you were ok.”

“No, no,” You rushed out before you could stop yourself, “stay, please.” You pleaded, stepping aside so he could come in. The two of you headed to your bedroom, this wasn’t the first time one of you had shown up at the other’s house after midnight and it wasn’t the first time you’d shared a bed.

It was, however, the first time since you discovered your feelings for the man and this time instead of keeping some space between the two of you, Jake wrapped you up in his arms again.

You couldn’t help but melt into him and you pleaded with anyone who would listen for Jake to just make a move, give you a hint…anything.

-

“Come on, man, Y/N’s not gonna wait around forever.” Terry said one night as he, Charles and Jake were sat in the bar. The two men had been on Jake’s back for months now trying to get him to ask you out.

“Trust me, I want to but it’s not like that. She doesn’t feel that way about me.” Jake replied, a small frown on his face. He hated when the guys brought you up because it always reminded him that he couldn’t have you, no matter how much he wanted you, you were always just going to see him as a friend. He wasn’t going to ruin that friendship by telling you how he felt.

“She likes you, Jake!” Charles insisted but Jake just shook his head. He couldn’t have this conversation again, so without a word he left the bar ignoring the calls of his friends.

It hurt, only being able to have you as a friend. To hold you after a bad day but know there was nothing more than platonic feelings there, to not go home together after work and cook together, working like you were made for each other. Just being your friend was the worst but the thought of losing that friendship and you turning him down was too much for Jake so instead he smiled and continued to just be friends.

-

It had been months since you first realised you liked Jake and in that time you had given him so many chances to confess, for him to pull you into a kiss and say he felt the same way but that day never came.

Eventually you decided that you just had to give up because sooner or later this was going to destroy your friendship with Jake and that would break your heart.

“I have a date.” You told Rosa and Amy when the others left the break room. They immediately started talking and questioning you about it, both drawing the same incorrect conclusion.

“With Jake?” They asked together, Amy grinning at you whilst Rosa smirked. Both girls had been persistent that you and Jake were going to have a big romantic moment where you confessed your feelings and fell magically into your happily ever after.

“Finally, I always told you he was the one for you.” Amy continued as her smile grew. Any conversation where Jake came up, Amy had always insisted that Jake was ‘the one’.

Oh, how you wished he was.

Unfortunately this was life and people rarely got what they wanted.

“No.” You said, watching as their expressions changed immediately.

“What do you mean ‘no’?” Rosa asked, narrowing her eyes.

“I mean no. I told you Jake doesn’t like me the way I like him and I have to do something before this crush ruins our friendship. Trust me, if he liked me he would’ve done something a long time ago.” You said honestly. Jake was the type of person who went for what he wanted.

“Y/N…” Amy began but you shook your head, quickly cutting her off.

“No Amy, he had his chance and nothing happened. I can’t just sit around alone just because he doesn’t like me.” You said and with that you left the room and entered Holt’s office ready for your meeting.

-

In the two months you’d been dating Liam you had noticed that you had barely seen Jake. When he found out you had started dating Liam he smiled, it was a painfully obvious fake smile, and told you he was happy for you before disappearing for the rest of the day.

In those two months you’d only seen Jake for work purposes though he wasn’t partnered up with you anymore. If the group went to the bar and you tagged along Jake would make up some excuse so that he didn’t have to go, so eventually you just stopped going all together.

It hurt more than you wanted to admit that Jake hadn’t fought for you, there was a small part of you that hoped by dating somebody Jake would admit he liked you but instead of that happening he just avoided you and your friendship.

That’s not to say Liam wasn’t good, he was, but with him you just felt…fine but with Jake you felt safe, loved, cared for, you felt fireworks just from your fingers brushing and you felt fearless as you worked together.

As you were feeling this way, it shouldn’t have surprised you when the fight happened.

-

“I tried to ignore it, you know, pretend that my girlfriend wasn’t into some other guy but come on!” Liam yelled. The conversation that started the argument wasn’t great, you accidentally brought up Jake’s name when talking about work causing the man to explode.

“There is nothing between me and Jake!” You told him honestly, causing him to laugh bitterly.

“Oh please, don’t act like there is nothing happening there! Everyone can see it all over your face.” Liam continued to yell, continued to tell you how you and Jake were probably sneaking around behind his back, calling you every name under the sun.

Finally, after what felt like hours of having abuse shouted at you, you left, ignoring the words of disgust he shouted at your retreating figure.

It was late at night and Liam had picked you up so you had no way to get home and no money to call a cab. You sighed as you scrolled through your contacts and tried calling Terry but there was no answer. You knew Rosa and Amy were on a stakeout so they couldn’t help and Charles was busier than ever with his kid.

So, that just left Jake.

With a sigh you sat down on the sidewalk. Would Jake even answer the phone? Despite everything that had happened between the two of you, you genuinely believed he’d pick up if you called but there was a small part of you that still hesitated before shaking your head and pressing the call button.

You listen to the ringing for a long time, almost ready to give up before you heard Jake’s groggy voice through the phone.

“Y/N?” He asked, clearly just having woken up.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” You said quietly into the phone.

“It’s fine,” he assured, “is everything ok?” Those were the words that sent you over the edge and you barely managed to suppress a sob as tears fell down your cheeks.

“Um, yeah, no, I just, I-” Jake frowned as he heard another sob.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s ok. Just relax, Y/N/N, that’s it. What happened?” He asked after you’d calmed down a bit.

“Me and Liam we, um, got into a fight and he said some things,” Here you stopped to take a shaky breath, “I left.”

“I’m sorry Y/N/N.” He said, more sorry that you were so upset rather than you having broken up with the other man.

“This is your fault you know?” You laughed sadly into the phone, your emotions were all over the place right now and you knew you’d regret saying this tomorrow but you had too. “God, everyone always said we’d be perfect for each other, we were meant to be and you always laughed it off. I wanted you so damn badly Jake, you didn’t even fight for me. Even if you didn’t like me like that, you just let our friendship end. I wanted you to fight for me! That’s all I ever wanted!” You cried and Jake sat in bed with his mouth open as he registered your words.

The silence continued and you were about to hang up the phone when Jake replied.

“You like me?” He asked, stunned.

“You must have known.” Was your weak reply. Now it was out there, you finally admitting this secret, you felt light, you felt relieved. Even if Jake laughed at you, at least you’d said it.

“I would have fought so hard for you, Y/N/N, I, god, I like you so much. Every day I fall for you more and more, all I want, all I ever wanted from the day we met was you. You’re the one I want to dance around the kitchen with, you’re the one I want to take out, you’re the one who I want to lay on the couch with and talk about everything and nothing. It was always you, Y/N, and when you got with him, god, I knew then and there my chance was gone, I knew I’d blown it.” Jake admitted, surprised that he didn’t feel too nervous, he felt great, he felt confident. Even if too much time had passed at least he had said his piece.

“Jake?” You asked.

“Yeah Y/N/N?” Jake replied hesitantly.

“We’re both idiots.” Jake couldn’t help but laugh into the phone causing you to laugh too, the two of you were grinning like idiots.

“Where are you?” Jake asked and after he found out you weren’t too far away from him he offered to pick you up. With a shy smile you thanked him and hung up.

-

Soon enough you and Jake were sitting in his apartment.

“Listen, I know I’ve been a real jerk these last few months but seeing you with him…” Jake trailed off, turning away from you before continuing. “I’m really sorry. It wasn’t fair for me to take my feelings out on you, especially when I didn’t tell you how I felt.”

“I owe you an apology too-” You began but he quickly cut you off.

“No, you don’t. All you did was move on because I was too scared to say something.” Jake told you and whilst it was true you did feel guilty because this was a two way street and you could have told him how you felt.

“I was scared too.” You finally admitted after a few moments of silence causing Jake to smile shyly at you. With only a small amount of hesitation Jake reached over and brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, causing you to smile and melt into the touch.

“No more being scared, yeah?” Jake whispered as he leaned closer.

“Sounds good.” You replied just as quietly and with that Jake softly connected your lips together. His hand moves from your cheek to cup the nape of your neck as you kiss him back. The kiss itself is gentle but it was like every cheesy cliche ever, you felt fireworks as he kissed you, your skin tingled pleasantly as you felt his fingers lightly grazing your skin.

Maybe Amy was right, you thought as Jake pulled away and rested his forehead against you, smiling softly at you, maybe Jake was the one.