Roceit Greek Hero AU

Roceit Greek Hero AU

Where Roman is a Greek hero(maybe a Demigod one maybe not) that is sent on a quest to kill the nearest Medusa, who is Deceit. Everyone thinks that Deceit is killing people by turning them into stone using his glare but actually it turns out that he’s just so good at sculpting that he makes all of his creations look hyper realistic. Roman, a known patron of the arts, decides to drop everything and sponsor(and probably also be his muse) instead.

Moxiety but RUDER

Patton: Alright listen up you little shits.

Everyone else: ???!!!???

Patton: Except for you, Virgil. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here.

Virgil: * blushes furiously and confusedly *

~~~~~~~~~

Virgil: * points at Logan * Fuck you.

Virgil: * points at Roman * Fuck you!

Virgil: * points at Remus * FUCK you!

Virgil: * points at Patton * You’re cool.

Patton: : D ?

Virgil: * points at Deceit * And fuuuck you, I’m out.

Virgil: * ducks out once more *

Virgil: * runs into the room * Give her back! 

Virgil: * gets his pet back from Remus and pets the spider lovingly * She doesn’t like being manhandled!

Patton: * crying in the corner in fear *

Roman: *screams at a spider*

Remus: *picks it up by the leg and dangles it in front of Roman’s face*

Roman: *screams and runs away*

Okay but imagine-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypktDAYYebg

The Kevin Hart “My Mom Gave Me Permission to Cuss One Time” bit but with Deceit giving Remus permission to mess with Logan only for him to go overboard with it LMAO.

Sanders Sides as Homestuck Quotes

Logan: It’s really weird. This human emotion you call friendship.

Virgil: Friendship isn’t an emotion fucknuts.

Logan: Well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. 

Logan: It was because shut up. Shut up is why.

Virgil: That’s an ugly rumor. Whoever told you that is a filthy liar.

Virgil: And you should probably stop hitting on him all the time or whatever.

Roman: I can’t control myself. I must have a weakness for insufferable pricks.

Patton: N...no!

Deceit: A fair rebuttal. However, consider this counterpoint-

Deceit: Y...yes???

Roman: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn’t factor into the solution in at least some way.

Virgil: Patton? What the fuck.

Patton: Can’t talk chasing dogs.

Logan: Honestly, Thomas. The conversation we are having right now bears a striking resemblance to absolute nonsense.

Roman: This is some very powerful Juju. You’d be messing with some forces we don’t fully understand.

Remus: Sounds like a dare to me.

Roman: Oh my god.

Roman: Moral of the story is blue kid is a dumb nerd but is right when he says stuff.

Thomas: What happened to Deceit? Why is he passed out on the floor?

Virgil: Because I punched him in the face.

Thomas: What?

Virgil: You heard me.

Headcanon Time: Remus is the only side Deceit doesn’t do the hand over the mouth thingy too. Not because he particularly respects him or anything but because whenever he tried to the trash man would always make some terribly sexual comment about gagging.