Greeknerdsstuff - Greek_nerd - Tumblr Blog

in case anyone else is as bad at geography (especially ancient geography) like i am, wikimedia has an awesome map showing where all the notable characters in the trojan war hail from

this is just a section, click through for the much bigger map. (man, sarpedon and pyraechmes travelled FAR)

No it’s kinda crazy that Hector and Andromache had Astyanax/Scamandrios during the war.

Was he a happy accident? Did Hector weep in fear mixed with the joy, that his son will be born in a world where the victor is not decided- that any moment he can be harmed by his enemies? Or did they plan him, was Hector so confident he’d win the war, seeing it as a glorious story he’d tell his one day when he is older and Hector king?

she’s a poor little meow meow. she was born in a wet cardboard box all alone. she’s suffered more than jesus. she’s misunderstood. she’s a silly guy. she experienced the horrors. she did all those crimes. she has done nothing wrong. she deserves to kill. she’s the most interesting girl in the world. i didn’t say a name, but she popped into your head, didn’t she?

For one reason or another I found many Apollo stans who either claim that an ecranisation made their favourite god completely dirty if he rapes, curses or kills people in it (you know, as if he doesn't do that in a lot of myths...) or accept an actual mediocre depiction of him as long as his bisexuality and effeminate appearance aren’t erased, because everybody knows that these are the core, main, ultimate relevant aspects of his identity and nothing else really matters.

pylades and orestes 

This is how I think that scene went

The Oresteia be like:

wait, 'ares is feminist' crowd is attacking athena now? man things sure went a full circle

I have yet to find an Ares stan who doesn't hate and talk shit about her.

I love when people are like “this character is a war criminal” and show a character from a setting where we have no idea what the rules of war are. Like yeah they’re a torturer or murderer or whatever but if you wanna call them a criminal over it you gotta back it up with some kind of indication of what things might be in their conventions.

Stephen Fry: describes Paris as "intelligent" in his new book, "Troy."

Me: ...

you don't understand. every single greek warrior mourned the death of patroclus. every single sea goddess and nereid mourned his loss. the greatest warriors of the greek army like menelaus and ajax were prepared to die defending his body from the trojans so that it could be taken back to camp. achilles' horses literally cried at his death. at losing patroclus, achilles immediately wants to die as well. achilles' refusal to be parted from his body was so strong that thetis has to protect it from decay. this man was so universally loved that the entire greek camp mourned his death for DAYS

odyssey adaptation where a mini odysseus appears, pauses and explains how he'll get out of his latest misadventure

I changed some things, and now we have Patroclus

They look like this in my head,I'm too lazy to draw Patroclus :)

Diomedes king of Argos

Diomedes king of Argos

If Achilles has zero bullies, I'm dead

wish i had enough followers so i could post “patroclus” and 600 billion people would respond with “yayy!!” …..

“We need more evil women in media!!” no because y'all couldn't even handle [insert any complicated morally gray female character with a long, rich history from Greek mythology that has been reduced to "girlboss" in modern retellings]

The horror of seeing what’s to come (Helenus & Apollo)

Apollo voice I think we’re gonna have to kill her, Orestes

some of my favorite pallas “scumbag” athena bits from the iliad:

shoving sthenelus out of the chariot b/c she’s going to drive diomedes into battle and she can’t be bothered to like ask him to get off

punching aphrodite in the boob

saying that aphrodite scratched her hand on a brooch when she’d in fact been stabbed on athena’s orders

making a deal with ares to stop interfering in the fight and then immediately giving diomedes special shiny powers

convincing pandarus to shoot menelaus in book four and then guiding the javelin to kill pandarus in the book five

the many, many ways she cheats during the funeral games to make sure diomedes and odysseus win

everything to do with hector’s death and deiphobus 

all the times she and hera stand in the back of the room and mutter about destroying troy together

My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “The Epic of Gilgamesh” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw the mountain warn me in a dream about Humbaba

My buddy Enkidu pacing: the gods are lying to us

forever thinking about how achilles’ name means “grief of the people.”

Book IX: Agamemnon promises many concessions, gifts, and treasures to Achilles if he stops sulking returns to the battle. Including offering to Achilles to marry one of his daughters when the war is over and they return to Greece. To which I say: lol. Remember the last time he was told that he was to marry Agamemnon’s daughter. Fool me once shame on you fool me twice won’t get fooled again shame on me and he is done with being shamed by Agamemnon