I Changed Some Things, And Now We Have Patroclus

I changed some things, and now we have Patroclus

They look like this in my head,I'm too lazy to draw Patroclus :)

Diomedes king of Argos

some of my favorite pallas “scumbag” athena bits from the iliad:

shoving sthenelus out of the chariot b/c she’s going to drive diomedes into battle and she can’t be bothered to like ask him to get off

punching aphrodite in the boob

saying that aphrodite scratched her hand on a brooch when she’d in fact been stabbed on athena’s orders

making a deal with ares to stop interfering in the fight and then immediately giving diomedes special shiny powers

convincing pandarus to shoot menelaus in book four and then guiding the javelin to kill pandarus in the book five

the many, many ways she cheats during the funeral games to make sure diomedes and odysseus win

everything to do with hector’s death and deiphobus 

all the times she and hera stand in the back of the room and mutter about destroying troy together

Diomedes king of Argos

Book IX: Agamemnon promises many concessions, gifts, and treasures to Achilles if he stops sulking returns to the battle. Including offering to Achilles to marry one of his daughters when the war is over and they return to Greece. To which I say: lol. Remember the last time he was told that he was to marry Agamemnon’s daughter. Fool me once shame on you fool me twice won’t get fooled again shame on me and he is done with being shamed by Agamemnon

odyssey adaptation where a mini odysseus appears, pauses and explains how he'll get out of his latest misadventure