functionaldisaster - Mostly confused
Mostly confused

I'm definitely a mess, but I do get things done. Lived at least 21 years. Expect a bit of everything here. Not too active, uni's attempting to tear my head off. p.s. I'm broke, if you send a personal message asking for money it's a block on sight.

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Hello! How Can I Make A Pizza Without An Oven?

Hello! How can I make a pizza without an oven?

Hey!

Fantastic question! Now I know pizza purists will argue and tell me this isnt pizza. Simply put though. If it tastes like pizza. Looks like Pizza and smells like Pizza. Its Pizza! There is two methods i can reccomend. Either way you go it starts with the pizza dough. This recipe does 2 Large pizzas but also holds well in a fridge for 2-3 days.

1.5 Cups of Warm Water, 1 package instant yeast (7g), and a pinch of white sugar. Mix well in a bowl and let stand till frothy. Then add 3-4 Cups of plain flour and mix till a shaggy dough forms, knead gently till smooth and elastic. Divide into how many pizzas you want and wrap in oiled plastic.

Now, the fun part! Cooking. So method one is the simplest. Preheat a large non stick pan to medium heat. Lightly oil the pan and roll your dough to roughly the size of your pan (Make sure to prick your pizza dough once rolled with a fork to prevent excess rising.) Cook your pizza dough flipping once nicely coloured and cooked. Finish cooking on the other side and remove from the pan, then dress with your favourite pizza toppings. I also highly reccomend using a tomato passata in place of a tomato paste (Paste is too acidic.) The other method is almost the same, except after cooking one side, flip it (Placing raw side on pan to cook,) add your pizza toppings and sauce, once the pizza is assembled, turn up the heat a touch, add a small splash of water and cover with a lid or a large heatproof covering. Let cook until the cheese is melted and your pizza looks delicious, remove from the pan and cut, eat and enjoy!

As always thanks for the support and thanks for the ask, feel free to ask anything anytime.

Cheers

Tay

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More Posts from Functionaldisaster

1 year ago

Hello! I noticed you wrote something for Darksodwrs Samael, I'm so happy! Might I request some... Headcanons I think would be best, for Samaels s/o or, if the relationship isn't established just yet, crush, always ‘draping’ him in earnest, kind yet simple compliments? From both his spectacular appearance to his brilliant mind? Apologise if this is a bit vague! Thank you!

Hello! I Noticed You Wrote Something For Darksodwrs Samael, I'm So Happy! Might I Request Some... Headcanons
Hello! I Noticed You Wrote Something For Darksodwrs Samael, I'm So Happy! Might I Request Some... Headcanons

Author's note: Hello Hello friend! I'm excited to give another try at writing for Samael, so hopefully you will like this one. I decided to do some headcanons, with a bit of a little tiny drabble at the end. Best of both worlds.

Relationships: Samael/Gn!Reader (just how it turned out; not a nickname or anything that could allude to a specific gender in sight)

Warnings: None, unless you consider flirting with a demon something to warn about ;3

Hello! I Noticed You Wrote Something For Darksodwrs Samael, I'm So Happy! Might I Request Some... Headcanons

Samael is of the sort who believes that behind every single compliment, wink, gift- is a motive. Be it monetary, physical, or something else entirely. No one does something without expecting something in return, be it now, or down the line.

That thought process very quickly gets challenged however, when he meets you.

As a human associated with the Horsemen, you have a lot to gain from making nice with him; Or at least making a tentative enough relationship that it secures more of the safely of your realm.

But everything you do just, doesn't make sense to him. No matter how hard he's tried to wrack his brain, there isn't a solid reason as to why you do and say the things you do to him.

You'd first asked for a tour of his palace- odd, given humans have a fear of Hell, but he had indulged. Maybe you're looking for structural weaknesses, or ideas of what he's researching to relay back to the Horsemen so they can keep an eye on him. He doesn't think it would be too unusual for them to use you in that way; Even if they are not fond of the two of you being in the same realm to begin with.

But no, that doesn't turn out to be the case. You just ask about paintings and gold coins, curiously looking up at towering statues of demons who's names you have not the slightest clue.

And as if that isn't odd enough for the demon to deal with, not soon after, you start complimenting him.

Not even just about his power or stature, but odd seemingly minuscule things. And for the first time, he doesn't have a response to them. At least none of the usual ones. They all feel so, crude, in comparison as to what you're saying to him.

'Do all demons have wings like yours? They look amazing...'

'Have you really been around that long? You need to tell me about some of the things you've seen.'

'Has anyone ever told you your voice is, really soothing?'

You always have a smile when you say these things, and for the first time, Samael is genuinely confused and almost unsure of what to do. On one hand he wants to be suspicious, but on the other, he feels like he's getting wrapped around your finger.

Each time he sees you he's yearning for a compliment to come from your lips. Less so because of narcissism, and more so because they sound so earnest. You mean each and every one of them, unlike others who are only seeking to throw platitudes at him.

Maybe that's been your plan the whole time, to make him like you like this. He almost becomes furious at the idea that it's actually working.

You're on his mind far more than anything else, thinking of you and softening some of his sharper edges so he doesn't wound your gentle soul with harsh words he's used to using towards other demons.

He starts getting you physical gifts in retaliation; A handcrafted sword, jewelry suited to your tastes, mythical texts in books bound with gold filigree. All extravagant, and nothing he's even done before. He didn't even go through this sort of thought for Lilith.

You refuse most of them, the latest time specifying why- saying that your time with him is good enough. And it only serves to baffle him even more.

In a way, Samael would almost classify himself as beginning to have an obsession over you. But he keeps himself in line with his expected formality, just barely.

As a human associated with the Horsemen, you have a lot to gain from making nice with him; Or at least making a tentative enough relationship that it secures more of the safely of your realm.

But everything you do just, doesn't make sense to him. No matter how hard he's tried to wrack his brain, there isn't a solid reason as to why you do and say the things you do to him.

You'd first asked for a tour of his palace- odd, given humans have a fear of Hell, but he had indulged. Maybe you're looking for structural weaknesses, or ideas of what he's researching to relay back to the Horsemen so they can keep an eye on him. He doesn't think it would be too unusual for them to use you in that way; Even if they are not fond of the two of you being in the same realm to begin with.

But no, that doesn't turn out to be the case. You just ask about paintings and gold coins, curiously looking up at towering statues of demons who's names you have not the slightest clue.

And as if that isn't odd enough for the demon to deal with, not soon after, you start complimenting him.

Not even just about his power or stature, but odd seemingly minuscule things. And for the first time, he doesn't have a response to them. At least none of the usual ones. They all feel so, crude, in comparison as to what you're saying to him.

'Do all demons have wings like yours? They look amazing...'

'Have you really been around that long? You need to tell me about some of the things you've seen.'

'Has anyone ever told you your voice is, really soothing?'

You always have a smile when you say these things, and for the first time, Samael is genuinely confused and almost unsure of what to do. On one hand he wants to be suspicious, but on the other, he feels like he's getting wrapped around your finger.

Each time he sees you he's yearning for a compliment to come from your lips. Less so because of narcissism, and more so because they sound so earnest. You mean each and every one of them, unlike others who are only seeking to throw platitudes at him.

Maybe that's been your plan the whole time, to make him like you like this. He almost becomes furious at the idea that it's actually working.

You're on his mind far more than anything else, thinking of you and softening some of his sharper edges so he doesn't wound your gentle soul with harsh words he's used to using towards other demons.

He starts getting you physical gifts in retaliation; A handcrafted sword, rare metal ornaments suited to your tastes, mythical texts in books bound with gold filigree. All extravagant, and nothing he's even done before. He didn't even go through this sort of thought for Lilith.

You refuse most of them, the latest time specifying why- saying that your time with him is good enough. And it only serves to baffle him even more.

In a way, Samael would almost classify himself as beginning to have an obsession over you. But he keeps himself in line with his expected formality, just barely.

Hello! I Noticed You Wrote Something For Darksodwrs Samael, I'm So Happy! Might I Request Some... Headcanons

"So, what is it you're going to show me?"

You can't help but keep up the air of curiosity, looking up at Samael as one of his wings casually stretches. Their shape was always curious to you, but you've never gotten around to asking if they're simply unique to him, or if the odd upside down shape is simply common among demons. He's the only friendly demon you've met, after all.

"Your ceaseless curiosity is going to get you in trouble, one day." He says so with a voice filled with teasing, so you just shrug your shoulders.

"Funny, you're not the first non-human that's said that to me." He's not surprised in the slightest at that fact, though he does wonder who else it was that said so. Presumably one of the Horsemen.

Death, if he had to guess. It would be the most in character of him to do so, especially considering he is the one most against your being near him.

"Here we are." You're a bit too busy looking up at him to notice where you've ended up, until you turn your head and notice the drastically different scenery ahead of you.

"This is my private library." He takes on step forward, still speaking to you, but also overlooking the vast array of tables and shelves. His tail gently hovers over the ground, swaying back and forth lazily.

"Almost every bit of knowledge I have collected rests here." Samael protects this area with almost as much fervor as his own life; It's the source of so much of what he knows, and a one of his grandest prizes.

After all when you're effectively immortal, things like gold and shining trinkets stop meaning as much, in the grand scheme of things. Then do things like information, knowledge and secrets, begin to hold a much greater value. So even if you may not even realize, it's a overwhelmingly large deal for him to do this.

A testament for how much he sees in you that he likes.

"You had mentioned enjoying tomes." He has a tiny smirk that reveals the sharp points of his upper fangs. "Feel free to sate your curiosity."

Mouth set partly agape you look around, the usual filigree of the demon's palace also adorning a large array of tomes. He's watching your glowing face, and in a briefly pride filled thought, he's pleased to finally get such a reaction from you. None of his other gifts had worked; And over time he's learned that you don't want strictly physical things.

What is odd for him however, is that getting this reaction from you doesn't earn him anything. Normally that would've been his only goal, but now, it's only seeing your fondness for him that he desires. A small repayment, for all of the kind little human words you've shown him.

"Seriously?" His smirk grows wider, showing off his sharp teeth even more. At which you smile back, feeling your face grow a bit warm.

"Thanks, Samael. This is amazing."

"Now, go have your fun. Before the Horsemen come to steal you back." He gestures with his head forward and watches as you trot away. Though as you start to look around, Samael's mind begins to wander as well.

Now that he's earned your friendship, Samael begins to wonder what he can do to earn more, looking at the way you're gleefully peering around. You've shown so much of your little soul to him, and he wants more. Not to toy with it, or snuff it out; He wants to keep it safe. Keep it all to himself. There's not much more he wants now than for you to say you love him.

Now Samael finds himself understanding why the other races are becoming so fond of humans.


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1 year ago

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1 year ago
Here You Go @bluprint :)

here you go @bluprint :)

read the image descriptions for the variant names and details

The truest form of the Mega Stug, with the following modifiers:

Incarnon Genesis Exalted Kuva Tenet Telos Sydon Vaykor Rakta Secura Sancti Prisma Procoscis Mutalist Arca Carmine Mara Dex Mk-1 Dual Twin AkStug Prime Wraith Vandal Umbra

(I entirely forgot about making a -cyst version until just now lol)
The Mega Stug but minus the Dual, Twin, and Ak- modifiers to show just a singular one.
Exalted, based on Excalibur's Exalted Blade
Incarnon, based on the icons for Incarnon Genesis upgrades
Dex, sporting metallic Lotus decals
Proboscis, based on the Proboscis Cernos
Mutalist, based on the Mutalist Quanta and the Mutalist Cernos but sporting it's own unique color palette based on contrasts from the Stug's original colors
Arca, this one was the most painful because it made me realize how wonky my perspective was lmao
Tenet, sporting Tenet patterning and glowing circuitry that totally isn't half-assed lol
Umbra, based on Umbra Excalibur and the Skiajati
Prime, the first one I changed the outline for to accommodate how many wack-ass gold decals and spikes there are lol
Wraith
Sancti, it's kinda eh but has neat patterning i guess
Secura, with Corpus-inspired lighting and patterning
Rakta, absolutely covered in random scrawling patterning
Vaykor
Synoid, sporting fancy cepholon lighting and patterning
Telos, in all of it's limited default color palette mr2-looking glory
Vandal, sporting extra fancy lighting
Kuva, in all of it's glowy-ness
Here You Go @bluprint :)
Mara, same as Prisma but orange and with a few metallics
Prisma, same as Mara but blue, no metallics, and a little patterning
The default-ass Stug in all of it's default-ass glory, also counts for Mk-1 cause Mk-1 weapons don't have unique visuals lol

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1 year ago

reblog if your name isn't Amanda.

2,121,566 people are not Amanda and counting!

We’ll find you Amanda.


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