Grindr Swap #1

Grindr Swap #1

I was scrolling through Grindr when a guy caught my eye. He was what most people would call a chav: tracksuit, trainers, tattoos, cigarette in hand. The total opposite to me, but that just made him all the more attractive. I read Jay’s profile “lookin 4 hot successful guys with $$$”. Hmmmm, he seems like a bit of a gold digger, but I would fit the bill he’s looking for - he might find me a bit boring, since I mostly just working at my corporate job, but saying ‘hey’ can’t hurt.

We start exchanging messages, he asks about my life, my work, my salary, and I ask about his. Seems he lives on a nearby housing estate, works a manual job and is looking to better himself. Well you have to admire his ambition. After chatting for a few hours, I invite him over to my place for a drink. 

He arrives to the door of my apartment and I let him in “You’re looking really hot!” I tell him. “Thanks, lookin good yourself Paul mate” he replies. We continue talking before the conversation turns to our differences. He tells me “You’re so lucky mate, you’ve got your life sorted. Wish I had all this.” I consider his comment and reply “Why thank you, it took a lot of hard work and my life can be stressful. I wish I could take a break from it all sometimes, if I’m honest…” Apparently that’s exactly what he wanted me to say. A sly grin appears on his face. “Well, looks like both our wishes might get granted tonight!” He takes a coin out of his pocket and puts his hand on my chest. A current of electricity pulses through our bodies and our bodies become malleable. I look down and see my body moving like jelly, before it begins to reform into a solid state, only this time, it doesn’t look like me. I look back up and see my own face “What the…” I say before covering my mouth. That’s not my voice!

“Don’t worry, I have just swapped our bodies. I get to enjoy your life and your money, and you can take a well earned break” His reply sounds just like me, the voice and the words. He must have been studying me this whole time. “Now, let’s swap clothes and no one will be able to tell the difference. You thought I was hot? Well now you are!” I strip off my Tommy Hilfiger shirt, the tailored trousers and the Hugo Boss underwear and replace them with non-descript underwear, Nike trainers and a black tracksuit. To anyone else, I was Jay and he was Paul.

In the pocket of my former trousers, the new Paul finds my wallet. He opens it and sees a good amount of cash “Fuck yeah” he exclaims “Let’s go grab a drink, I’m buying, Jay. Where is my favourite bar?” “Okay, sure we can go to Gerard’s”. I lead him out of my apartment, he makes sure to take the keys and lock the door, as I lead him to my favourite bar. As we go to enter, the doorman stops me Sorry sir, can’t come in dressed like that.” I look down and realise he doesn’t recognise me and thinks I am a full blown chav. His comment makes me feel angry, which is weird, because I never get angry. I clench my fists. Wow, this body doesn’t seem to be very good at handling its emotions. My former self steps in, smooth talks the doorman, and leads me away calmly to find somewhere else. 

We decide on a restaurant nearby. It must look so weird for everyone else in the restaurant. And we must have confused the waiter too, as I order a glass of Pinot Noir and my former sophisticated self orders “the cheapest beer you have”. I order the lamb rump and my companion a burger with fries and ketchup. The drinks arrive and I take a sip of the wine. “Eurgh, that tastes revolting!” I exclaim “Rank!” Paul says as he sips the tall glass of lager. “Let’s swap” I suggest, and I take the glass of cold lager and take a gulp. “Ahhhh, much better!” I respond. “Tastes must be linked with the body and not the mind.”

“Sounds about right” my body replies, savouring the wine. “But if you are going to be me, you need to start thinking less and start calling everyone ‘mate’” “Oh, yeah, you’re right. Sorry mate” I reply to him. Saying those words in this voice with this body made me hard.

The food arrives and Paul decides to take the lamb, leaving me with the burger. It tasted fucking amazing. And I just wanted to put ketchup on everything, I felt like a kid but it tasted so good. “Mmmm, mate, this tastes awesome” Paul chuckled. As the meal ends, I feel myself getting agitated. Paul noticed. “Looks like you need to go for a smoke…” He hints at me. I feel inside the pockets of my tracksuit. In one I find my phone and in the other, a box of cigarettes. Having never smoked in my life, I realise it must just be what this body needs. I head outside, nervous that I will cough like a teenager trying for the first time, but I light up and take a drag and a wave of pleasure flows over me. Mmmmmm, that feels great, I say to myself. I was really getting into this body. I feel like I can do whatever I like. The smoking causes a build up of phlegm in my mouth, which I decide to spit out onto the floor. A couple leaving the restaurant look at me with disgust. Ha, I look like a proper chav now, and it feels so liberating. I walk back into the restaurant and sit back down. “Woah, you stink of smoke!” Paul tells me. “I didn’t realise I stank like that.” his face shows a faint look of disgust, which only makes me feel prouder. Fuck, I didn’t realise how stuck up I was. “Just what this body needed tho mate.” I say, settling into the life of Jay.

Oh my God, what a fool. I can’t believe he agreed to swap with me, hahahahaha. I can see he’s trying to put a brave face on it, but good look getting a six pack in that body! 

Fuck, why did I have to end up in Liam’s body? He’s the dumbest guy in our class, all he’s good for is making lewd jokes and flirting with anything that moves. And yet, everyone wants to be his friend. Well, looks like now I can expose him for the idiot he really is.

Time to upload this to his Instagram story “Feeling dum, might delete later”

Haha, He looks so stupid. Well, I guess that’s me. Turns me on a bit, if I’m honest. Time to upload.

***

Ah shit, why is everyone replying with “ 😍 “ ? But in a way, I am loving this attention... Maybe I can be a douche for a little while longer...

Assignment

Time for me to go back undercover. They pump me full of some new DNA and then I have the perfect cover to track down and catch the suspects in the act. It’s tough to be away from my wife for weeks on end, but she understands that I was married to the job first. 

Okay, so this is what I was expecting, I feel so weak and delicate, and I look like such a pussy too - how am I meant to take down a people trafficker looking like this? What’s that? He’s gay? So you want me to seduce him? Ahhh man, this is gonna be harder than I thought. I’m not sure I am up for this - normally I am just some brutish henchman, not some boytoy. 

Luckily the bureau also provides a complete cover story that can be inhaled to ensure there are no slip ups on assignment - time to breath in what I need to 

know...

Oh my God, honey, you look soooo hot in that uniform! I did not notice until now how hot our uniforms make us look, I would suck you off here and now, hehehe. Omg, I feel so horny, I need some hot daddy to fill me up. But first I need to shave my body, all the body hair on my chest is just ewwww. Then maybe I can work on my tan, and get in some cardio at the gym, wanna be looking my most fabulous for the assignment!

Hmmm, let me think... nah, I’m gonna keep your body a bit longer.

Yeah I know I said we’d swap back before bed, but I’m not really feeling that anymore.

Awww don’t cry lil bro...I think someone is suuuper tired.

If you still want to swap back in the morning, then sure, okay? But something tells me you’re going to wake up after having the craziest dream! Sleep tight, lil bro!

On Site

After years of studying and finally getting my MBA and now I am here on a building site! Such a joke. I was doing a site visit and I said a bit too loud that the project wasn’t progressing quickly enough and that I would withdraw funds if people didn’t get their lazy asses off the ground and do some work. Now I am stuck as Cabe here while he has taken my body. I am not as smart as I was somehow and I have lost all the knowledge that I took years to build up! But it’s kinda okay, I love the physical work and am suddenly much more interested in sports and my car. Growing a bit of a beard to impress the ladies. 

Meanwhile, Cabe in my body seems to be making himself right at home. He comes to the site in his expensive suits and drives here in a Porsche, such a sweet ride! He uses a load of words that I haven’t a clue about anymore too - nerd. He must be on a massive salary though, which is so unfair, since we are actually the guys that get the work done! But all the guys seem to love him - he raised our salaries and makes sure we are all happy. Guess he is doing a better job of being me than me...