Im Back And Im Up To 230 Pounds!

I’m back and I’m up to 230 pounds!

I’ve noticed a trend where gainers with usernames like “super-mega-close-to-being-immobile-9000-lbs” tend to just have a starter belly and they go on hiatus really quickly. You will see a lot of the actual 700 lbs. type of gainers with usernames like “overweight-gainer” and “squishy_belly”. It’s like the Dunning Krueger Effect, but with weight gain.

Just got two double quarter pounders with cheese, two large fries, a large Coke, and a large chocolate milkshake. I had a bunch of food right before but I think it’ll be possible for me to eat it all. This will feel so good.

A very Big Smoke order. I’m starting to feel full but I’m loving sneaking more when I feel that insane hunger crop up past where the fullness is. It feels so good.

I’ve been going back and forth on whether I should stuff myself today, but I ended up not doing it. I’m hesitating quite a bit recently. I feel like if you have someone to encourage you, then you can forge ahead, but it’s okay to not gain. Don’t relagate yourself to being an always-gorging gainer. Sometimes the gain is made better by a little back and forth. Sometimes you surpass your current favorite weight and need to back-pedal. Sometimes you want to gain, but just have some form of reservation. Honestly, if I could press a button and instantly gain 100 pounds, I wouldn’t- for me it’s just as much, if not more, about the journey and observing the changes as it is about having a big number on the scale. I think maybe part of my reasoning is that I’d like to share my gaining with someone. I’d like to be gently fed bigger and bigger by a kind lady who understands and gets me. Whatever the reason, I’m not stuffing my face today- tomorrow, who knows?

I’ve been thinking about how inconsistent I am at gaining, I think the reality of it is that I am a low maintenance gainer. All it would take is an in person encourager to just tell me I ought to get fatter, and I’d probably do the rest myself. The thing is I think I’m just not a ZERO maintenance gainer. People online can tell me I look good, but with my paranoia that rarely happens anymore. I really would just like an in-person feeder. Like a nice lady who knows how to make art, who can really tell me what she likes best about me while she watches me wolf down the dinner I’ve made. Whatever. This is getting to full of “wishful thinking” type crap, which tends to annoy me- especially when I’m doing it. I don’t like people thinking I’m needy or something. I just want to get fatter, and I want to share it with someone who can appreciate it!

250 lbs.

So I’m 250 now. Great. I’m actually a little over now. It’s kinda cool how quickly I gained it all, a little spooky. I’m just not feeling it. I just kinda want to lose weight again.