Enoughdonegone - It's Not Fine.

In the early stages of healing I used to trauma dump.

It was fucking WILD the shit that would tumble out of my mouth to people I barely knew. To combat it, I put a vice grip on it. I under shared to try to curb the habit.

It worked. Too well. And it appears to be permanent.

I have no idea how to share about my life now. This was a message I sent to my very best friends:

I haven't followed up.

Unlearning

I was driving around seeing clients yesterday for about 6 hours. I'd only had a bagel for breakfast and it was nearing 6pm. I was pretty hungry.

I stopped for food, and I felt really bad about it. I confessed to my partner that I'd stopped, expecting her to agree with my assessment that it was financially irresponsible.

She didn't. Naturally. Because eating is not a luxury, and it's worth the $17.

I don't know exactly what the original post said before the angel teathattast (or a contemporary) fixed it, but I'm nauseous just thinking about it.

He was absolutely that guy.

*gag*

I'd imagine he would deny doing anything to me at all.

The idea of a 'soulmate' kept me with him.

"I was put here to love him. If not me, then who?"

Turns out, it's someone else's gig (Pixies, protect her), and I get to choose to love my partner, who's awesome, every day.

I love soulmates but also this-