Can I Just Say That Steve Would ONE HUNDRED PERCENT Call Billy William When:

Can I just say that Steve would ONE HUNDRED PERCENT call Billy ‘William’ when:

a) they’re participating in perverse activities (I like to imagine that they’re kinky as anything and being called William just does something to him in the moment)

b) he’s pissed off with him (this is when the full name comes out, if Bills hears William Hargrove in the distance, he’s knows he’s supremely fucked)

c) he wants to tease him (especially in front of adults/parents, for example; “Yeah, William. Don’t put your feet on the coffee table. It isn’t polite!” these taunts are also always paired with Steve’s most shit-eating grins)

people in fanfiction are so good at identifying v specific smells. I literally struggle to identify vanilla when I’m sniffing a candle labelled “VANILLA” how are these kids getting woodsmoke, rain, mint, and a whiff of byronic despair from a fuckin tshirt

I genuinely thought Regulus put a vibrator in James and he asked Sirius to go with him for emotional support.

“mold” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 435 words

James, Regulus, Sirius and Remus are sitting in the living room at James and Regulus’ flat. They’re talking about everything and nothing and just having a relaxing afternoon.

“Click”

“Sirius, come help me with the tea, will you?” James asks as he randomly stands up in the middle of the conversation. Sirius gives James an odd look but follows him to the kitchen, nonetheless.

Regulus and Remus are left in the living room and now it’s Remus’ turn to give Regulus an odd look.

“What was that clicking sound?” Remus asks Regulus.

“Nothing.” Regulus responds casually.

“Regulus?”

Regulus doesn’t respond, but his lips tick up ever so slightly. Remus narrows his eyes at him and sees him fiddling with something in his pocket.

“What’s in your pocket, Regulus?” Remus pushes.

“Nothing.” Regulus repeats but his lips turn up a bit more.

“Regulus.”

Regulus tries to hide his smile as he reaches in his pocket and pulls something out to show Remus.

“Is that… is that a dog clicker?” Remus asks dumbfounded.

Regulus isn’t even trying to hide his smile anymore.

“Regulus… Did you Pavlov James?!” Remus is shocked and also sounds slightly horrified.

Regulus is full-on smirking at this point.

“What? Are you trying to mold him into the perfect boyfriend or something?”

“Oh no, he’s already the perfect boyfriend. This is just for fun.” Regulus finally responds.

“I… You… You can’t do that!” Remus exclaims quietly so the others don’t hear.   

“It started as an accident really, but he’s surprisingly easy to train so I wanted to see how many things I could get him to bring me before he figures it out.” Remus just stares at Regulus with his mouth gaped. “I’ve got him up to six.” Regulus say nonchalantly.

“REGULUS!” Remus whisper shouts. “… What does he bring you?” Remus suddenly becomes curious.

“He makes me tea, brings me my book, my slippers, a blanket, one of his sweatshirts and a hairbrush.” Remus looks at him confused. “Yeah, I really thought he’d figure it out after the hairbrush. We’re working on a flashlight right now.” Regulus says casually.

Remus just shakes his head at Regulus speechless. Regulus leans back on the couch with a smirk waiting for his tea.

----

James and Sirius are in the kitchen finishing up the tea. Sirius is still looking at James curiously.

“You know what he’s doing, right?” Sirius asks James.

“Oh yeah, I know. But he’s having fun, so I just let him do it.” James tells him with a shrug.

“You are the weirdest couple I know.” Sirius just shakes his head at James.

It’s one thing to spy on people and a whole other to call them out.

Reblog if you've ever stayed up all night to read a fanfiction about dead gay wizards on a School night

Max looks deadass impressed that Stevie isn’t as vanilla as everyone thinks he is.

And then they live happily ever after

I don’t care what my gender identity and pronouns are. From here on out, I wish to be referred to as Eldest Spawn.