With All Of Me | Part One

With All Of Me | Part One

For: Anon Characters: Rafael Barba/(Female) Reader Warnings: Mentions of Sexual Assault/Rape Word Count: 2,059 Notes: So, I got these three prompts all at one time in a row, and they lended themselves to a three-part imagine. So I hope y’all enjoy this short story!  Prompt: Imagine a Barba x Reader where you’ve been assaulted and are too scared to name the assailant because they are of a higher rank. Part One | Part Two | Part Three

“Barba,” the prosecutor answered, his phone balanced precariously between his shoulder and ear as he accepted coffee from the barista behind the cart. He smiled his thanks, carefully adding a small serving of sugar before swirling it twice with the skinny stick and tossing his trash before snapping on the lid.

It was supposed to be an easy day. He didn’t have court, he had one meeting about striking a plea with their most recently indicted criminal, and there was a conference that afternoon on tracking the movements of serial criminals via social media. There was no doubt in his mind that he could even call it an early night. Yet, Benson’s incessant and frantic mumbling on the other end of the line was starting to make him doubt the simplicity of his schedule.

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Changes - Joel Miller Imagine [The Last of Us]

Title: Changes

Pairing: Joel Miller X Reader

Word Count: 2,158 words

Warning(s): gunfire, murder, awkwardness, abandonment

Summary: [Episode 6] (Y/n) thought that Joel and them were finally making some steps forward in their relationship... in a few ways. If only progress didn't run the constant risk of going backward.

Author's Note: I have a friend that asked if I had written The Last of Us fanfiction... I am adding to the collection for their sake... totally not my own.

PART TWO HERE

PART THREE HERE

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Working with Joel was strange.

There were these times when he was completely closed off. Gruff and abrasive. Acted like he had never smiled a day in his life. I would affectionately call him Oscar to Grouch at those times. In my head. The last time I said that one out loud, I'm pretty sure he had to use all of his self-restraint to keep himself from shooting me.

But there were other times when the shell cracked. He would smile at me. He would actually participate in my admittedly stupid banter. He was sweeter. Not a lot, but enough for both of us to relax.

I sometimes thought that I clung to those "other times" a little too tightly.

That was why I stuck around him for so long. Those looks behind the curtain were enough to get my attention. I held onto them as much as possible. It was like holding a burning candle and watching the flame dim until you could find another match.

I tried to believe that I wasn't seeing things that weren't there.

But that would have been too easy.

I had to face the possibility that there was nothing there between us.

That realization came like a slap in the face.

We had gotten a truck and supplies from Bill and Frank's compound. The three of us were hidden away in the woods, far away from the road.

Ellie was asleep.

I was sitting next to Joel. I had always had trouble sleeping, even before the apocalypse. The constant threat to my life didn't help.

"You should rest."

"Don't tell the chronic insomniac to sleep," I replied. "It's like telling a psychopath that they're a psychopath."

I looked over just in time to watch his eyebrows furrow. "What?"

"It's very upsetting," I explained.

"Right," he mumbled. "I will never get how your mind works."

"Keeps me interesting," I shrugged.

I leaned my elbows on my knees as I watched Ellie a bit longer. I took a deep breath.

"It feels weird how protective I feel over her," I said quietly. "It hasn't been all that long, yet I feel like I'd burn the world down to keep her safe."

Joel hummed in response.

"You are so talkative," I mumbled. "It's one of your best qualities."

"I've been saying that for years," he replied sarcastically. I scoffed.

"I think you're obsessed with the gruff, mysterious reputation you have going on."

"I would've changed it if I could," he explained. "Damn thing made it so you're stuck to my side, why would I choose to hold onto it?"

"Oh, hush, I've grown on you."

"Like a tumor."

I chuckled at the sarcastic response. "Asshole."

"Keeping up the reputation."

I rolled my eyes as I turned my head to look at him. He looked at me.

Maybe it was the silence. Or the loneliness of the whole thing. Or some stress spilling over into the current moment. Maybe it was just something about the woods. Something around us made me braver for just a few moments.

And those few moments were all I needed to push myself over and pressed my lips to his.

It was nothing more than a peck before he pulled away from me. Abrupt and sudden. Like a scared animal.

I felt a sliver of pain slide through my heart as I turned my attention away from him, looking straight forward.

"(Y/n)," Joel said.

I didn't respond. I felt dizzy from my own stupidity.

"Me and you... we're two people that happen to do jobs together," he muttered after a while.

I nodded, trying to ignore the embarrassment that wanted to come out as projectile vomit right about now.

"That's it-"

"I got it," I cut him off. "I... I'm sorry."

He cleared his throat. "You should-"

"Get some rest. Yeah."

There it was. That shell.

I should have just grown accustomed to it.

We continued on like nothing had happened. It was all work. Nothing more than that. We just needed to get all of the work done.

I held onto that as we drove off the next morning.

It was easier to focus on Ellie than it was to think about Joel.

She was a smart kid. Smart and resourceful and brave. She was ready to kick ass at the drop of a hat. I admired her. Maybe that was part of why I was so protective of her.

It was especially easy to ignore my embarrassment when the chaos broke out around us in Kansas City.

The truck crashed through some old store. The gunfire followed soon after. We had gotten Ellie some hole in the wall. Safety.

The silence after the gunfire was almost scarier than the sound of the shots. It was the adrenaline. The fear meeting caution. It was like a closed soda bottle getting shaken up.

I heard the door slam open before I saw anything move. A guy tried to pin Joel to the ground.

Shooting him was the easy part.

Getting my hands to stop shaking after was the worst. I let out a loud sigh.

I heard Ellie climbing out of the wall to check on us.

"You alright," I asked her. She nodded. I took another deep breath.

Joel had pulled himself off the ground by then. He was just staring at me with this shocked look on his face.

"What about you," I asked.

"I'm good," he nodded. "Thanks."

"We'd be kinda screwed if I let you die," I replied. "Just doing the right thing."

There was a long pause as the tense air seemed to dissipate. I barely managed to drag my eyes from Joel.

"Head back in there," I told Ellie. "Look for a door for us to get through."

She nodded.

It wasn't until she was gone that I turned to Joel again. "You sure you're okay? You got a... look."

There was no response from him.

"Joel?"

"Ellie, turn around," Joel said, still looking at me. I glanced back at the wall, chuckling a bit at her little face poking out.

"Why," she asked.

"Just do it," he muttered.

I heard the dirt and gravel shift under her feet as she grumbled and spun around on her heels.

I raised an eyebrow at Joel. "What is it?"

He grabbed my arm and pulled me forward. I stumbled a bit as he awkwardly kissed me. I grinned against his lips as I balanced myself and kissed him back.

I pulled back first. I smiled before stepping away a bit. I saw a grin pulling at his lips as I did.

"You can turn around, Ellie," I chuckled.

"Did you guys kiss," she asked as she did, popping her head out again.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I shrugged as I walked over to her. "No idea at all."

"You're full of shit!"

"Am I? Joel, am I?"

He shook his head. "Not at all."

Ellie looked between Joel and me. She finally scoffed and rolled her eyes.

It felt like something had changed. Shifted.

And I liked it. I really, really liked it.

After the heartbreak in Kansas City, I expected that shell to build itself up again.

Joel wasn't romantic. I knew that much. But I found enough comfort in how his hand touched my back. It was barely there, but it was enough. I offered him a sad grin.

Three months.

Three months after that change initially happened.

We developed some patterns.

We found ourselves in a camp. A commune of survivors that made a life for themselves. A new beginning. It gave me a moment of pause. A small shimmer of hope that I felt silly entertaining.

Ellie and I ended up following Maria around while Joel caught up with his brother. It was nice. Knowing that he found him again.

We were put up in some house to shower and change. It was in amazing condition. Unfair, honestly.

I stuck next to Ellie as much as I could.

We snuck out of the movie they were playing that night. She was reading from some old diary. I was looking at the old photos and posters. It was a museum. A perfectly preserved image of the past.

Joel walked in a while later.

He stood in the middle of the room. Tense. I stepped over to him. I didn't want to cross any lines, but my brain was yelling at me to grab his hand or touch his face or something. Do something to bring him back down to earth.

I stood halfway between him and Ellie.

"Why are you here," Ellie asked from her seat.

"I came here to talk to you."

"No, why are you still here," she corrected. "If you're gonna ditch me, ditch me."

"No one's ditching you," I shook my head, looking at her for a moment before turning my attention toward Joel. The guilt was etched into his face. "Isn't that right, Joel?"

"I heard him," she spoke up. "Talking to his brother while you were focused on the lights and shit. 'I have to leave her. You have to take her.'"

I clenched my jaw. "Goddammit, Joel."

"I stood up for you today because I thought..."

Ellie trailing off broke my heart.

"I made this decision for your own good," Joel spoke up. "You'll be way better off with Tommy."

"You didn't think to talk to me about this," I asked.

He ignored me, "He knows the area better than I do-"

"Do you give a shit about me or not," Ellie slammed the diary down as she snapped at him.

"Of course, I do."

I looked down and let them argue.

I knew where I would be at the end of all of this. The only question was whether or not Joel was going to join me.

"Then, what are you so afraid of?" she stepped closer as she spoke. "I'm not her, y'know?"

I tensed.

"Maria told us about Sarah and-"

"Don't," Joel stopped her. "Don't say another word."

"I'm sorry about your daughter, Joel," Ellie walked closer to him. "But I've lost people too."

"You have no idea what loss is."

"Everybody I have cared for has either died or left me. Everybody, fucking except for you!"

I barely moved forward as she went to shove Joel backward. He didn't flinch.

"So don't tell me that I'd be safer with somebody else because the truth is I would just be more scared."

I touched her arm.

"You're right," Joel said. "You're not my daughter. And I sure as hell ain't your dad. Now, come dawn, we're going our separate ways."

"Joel," I muttered, following him out. He slammed the door shut. "Let's talk about this. Because that should have happened long before you made this choice."

"There's nothing to talk about," he replied.

I scoffed.

"Be ready to go in the morning."

"Joel, no."

"Our job's done."

"She's terrified," I said. "We're probably the most stable things that she's had in years. I'm not gonna abandon her. She's a kid-"

"She's not a kid, she's cargo. This was a job and now the job is done. Let's go."

"You're gonna look me in the eye and tell me that you actually still think that?"

"What did you expect to change?"

I froze.

The last thing I wanted to do in that moment was cry in front of him. But I couldn't help the burning behind my eyes. After all that had happened... all we had been through... the kisses... I thought that it was safe to assume that things were different now. That something had shifted in his mind.

"Have a safe trip, Joel," I muttered, blinking away any tears that tried to fight their way out.

"(Y/n), come on-"

"Job's done, right," I asked. "And nothing's changed?"

He paused.

"You said it before... we are just two people that sometimes do jobs together. Well, the job's done so you don't have to worry about me being 'stuck to your side all the time' anymore. You can finally get rid of me. Go do whatever the hell you want. I am going to make sure that kid isn't completely abandoned."

"(Y/n)-"

"Have a safe fucking trip, Joel!"

I walked back inside and slammed the door shut behind me.

I looked over at Ellie, who was standing in the middle of the room with tears in her eyes. It broke my heart. Damn near shattered the thing.

I stepped forward and yanked her into a hug. "I'm not going anywhere, got it?"

She hugged me back.

"I am not leaving you," I repeated, finally feeling the tears fall as my voice became shaky. "I'm going to stay right here and keep you safe. For as damn long as I can. Got it?"

She nodded against my shoulder.

"We're gonna figure this out, kid."

I just hoped that time would prove that I wasn't lying to her.

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Author's Note: I know it takes him all of like a minute to turn his ass around, but I needed the dramatic cut off. Let me have this one.

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Always Mine.

After a one night stand leads to a pregnancy, Tommy longs for a relationship with the child that’s out of his grasp.

This was requested by a lovely anon, I hope i’ve done you proud.This is a GIF IMAGINE. (All gifs belong to their rightful owners).

Word count: 3900      Warnings: Swearing, mentions of drinking/sex/loss. 

11th February 1914, The Garrison.

It had been Arthur that night who had insisted on going to the Garrison, determined to drag Tommy out of the heartbroken slump he had been in for six weeks straight. It had been six weeks since he’d lost his Greta, six weeks since he last held her hands in his and felt even a tiny bit whole.

There was whisky, and music, smoke, and ash. Arthur with his hand wrapped round the barmaid and a cigar in the another. John, who had barely even drank before, had found his place in a poker game in the back den. Every one had found their place but Tommy, whose eyes kept wandering over to the blonde in the corner- her face the same deflated expression as his.

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Ma'am please bestow upon me your amazing smut writing ways! 😩Your smut scenes are always top tier and I'm so jealous! I feel like all of my smut writing ends up turning out sounding the same.

Awwwh Lau 🥹🥹 Thank you babe, that’s so sweet of you - you’re so kind to me ♥️

And I was going to joke that I have no idea how I do it (and that is true to an extent - lots of it just happens in the moment!) but real talk, writing smut is one of the things I find MOST difficult in writing. It’s so time consuming to get it right, or it is for me anyway!

But here’s how I try and approach it… apologies I’m chatty and this got a bit long but I hope it’s useful to you and others!

Alex’s Guide To Writing Smut

Understand the context

1. What’s the vibe? Why are they having sex?

Is it angry/angsty/longing/needy/soft/sweet/something else I can’t think of right now? How are the characters arriving into the smut, because it totally shapes how you think about the tone of the scene and how the actual act will play out. Angry rough fucking is not the same as soft, we just woke up and I need you again sex. And that doesn’t need a tonne of exposition to set out in the story but you, the author, need to know where it’s coming from.

2. What’s their relationship?

Like above, sex between people who have been together for ages is different from sex with someone new(ish). Of course you can still surprise each other in a long term relationship but new relationships are all about discovery. And this affects how they communicate during the act itself, and how comfortable they might be together (as well as in voicing likes and dislikes). Also, a one night stand won’t be the same as a pairing who are a couple, and not all of those are born equal - is it a one night of fun or is that we only have one night, because we shouldn’t/can’t do this, but I love you? Those bring very different energies!

Creating scenes that feel ‘real’

4. Limbs logistics

This is the stuff that takes me the longest because I’m a weirdo and I like to be able to properly picture who and what’s where at any given moment! Do think about whether it’s physically possible for his hand to be there if it was just somewhere entirely different. And don’t be afraid to have a little fun with it if your setting allows a bit of real life challenges. Getting stuck or whatever and giggling about it is so human and relatable and will add realism.

3. Use ALL the senses.

Obviously this is an important tip for writing generally but if you want to build a sensory picture and create intimacy it’s extra important in smut writing. Smut writing isn’t just describing where all the limbs and appendages go - if you want it to be immersive you need to go beyond that and explore how the characters FEEL and what else they are experiencing:

- Smells in particular are especially evocative and unique. They stir up emotions and or create a sense of safety.

- Think about how you describe the different kinds of touches (again, all relates to knowing your context). Not just stimulation touch but how they hold each other, breath on skin etc. Are they gentle or rough. And most importantly, how does it feel - both touching and being touched.

- Don’t forget about taste - you don’t have to major on it if it gives you the ick but it’s part of the sexual experience so don’t forget to consider how it might be useful to include.

- Sound allows you to convey emotion with and without dialogue. How does their voice sound? When you’re pressed together can you actually feel the sound? You can use this to show progress too as they get closer to climax. (That feels so wrong to write in a non-smut scene context!)

5. Choice of positions/ sexual acts

My personal preference is starting with foreplay cos I enjoy writing the build up, but sometimes (back to context again!) that doesn’t make sense for your pairing. Deciding what they actually do during the smut scene totally depends on all the stuff in the section above. For example, are they short on time? Do they have all night? Is it the only night they might ever have and so they want to do everything you can think of? All of these will affect what kind of sex they have and the kind of energy they bring to it.

I rarely sit down and plot this out (but I’m not a plotter anyway so that’s just me) - I write what feels right in the moment because I’ve focussed my effort on knowing WHY these two particular people are having sex. Allow the context to guide what feels natural and have fun with it.

6. Dialogue

I used to write with hardly dialogue during smut because it made me uncomfortable trying to squeeze it in, but I’ve got better at it as I’ve written more. So I think you have to do what feels right for you, as the writer. But also, once again, you need to know what your characters would do. Are they talkers? Is one of them noisy but the other is the silent type? Does one have a filthy mouth that makes the other weak and they like to use that against them? Do you want to include a praise kink or someone who gets off on being humiliated (don’t forget AFTER CARE!). All of that affects what kind of dialogue you might have.

Personally I still tend to keep it quite limited (writing Emmett and the whole ‘having to be quiet’ is my fav kink of the moment!). Instead, I focus more on the senses side of things, and let them get a bit lost in the pleasure inside their own heads. And instead of external dialogue, I often opt for more internal chat about how the other person and what they’re doing makes them feel. And how they feel is influenced by, you guessed it, the context!

What to do when it all feels a bit too ‘samey’

So to Lauren’s original ask about scenes feeling overly similar - especially when you’re working with the same set of characters in a long running series. I have this all the time, especially with my Lockdown series because those two are just feral for each other! To tackle getting stuck in a rut, here’s what I think about:

Surprise, surprise, it’s all about CONTEXT again!

Ok yes, you only have so many sexual acts and positions to work with. And not everyone wants to write all the kinks in the land, I know I don’t! But what is different every time is why your couple is having sex - what’s led to/inspired that moment and how are they coming into the scene. So I refer you back to the very first section - understand the scenario and mood you’re trying to create. You can stack the different acts however you like but the energy and emphasis and emotion your characters bring to that should inherently make it feel different each time.

If you want a real life example, check out the smut scenes in this mini series - they fuck in every chapter but each time the context and how the characters come into the scene is different, so (I hope!) the smut reads differently.

And finally

Do not underestimate the power of a little humour! Real life sex can be funny. It’s intimate and, lots of the time, with someone you are (or want to be) very close to. They are moments of physical and emotional connection. Let the people be people. Don’t make it all perfect all the time. Life isn’t like that! 🤍

Other useful resources

How to write smut by @youneedsomeprompts

Smut terminology study

Useful smut language/sound descriptors

Really good guide to smut terms

☕️ Found this helpful? Why not buy me a coffee? - Ko-Fi

Awesomely cute dividers by @firefly-graphics

Masterlist: BETRAYAL

Tommy Shelby x fem!Reader x Luca Changretta

COMPLETE

Now also available as x OC story on AO3

Summary:

Tommy Shelby and Y/N (or, Matilda ‘Georgie’ George - OC) have been friends since they were four years old. Growing up on the streets of Small Heath they fell in love, only to be separated by the Great War. But when Tommy returns, he is not the same man. After the events of s1, their love rekindles and keeping it quiet from friends and family, the pair embark on a new relationship.

But when Tommy makes an impulsive, catastrophic choice one night, he finds himself having to live with the consequences. Consequences that eventually find him locked in a deadly battle against the woman he loves the most.

Warnings for whole story: 🔞 This is very angsty piece and littered with bad language. It contains some smut and some very dark themes, including domestic violence and sexual assault. For that reason, I respectfully ask minors not to interact. All chapters have their own warnings so please do check these before reading.

Credit: There are scenes and dialogue lifted from series 3 and series 4 of Peaky Blinders used throughout this story. I take no credit for Steven Knight’s writing or characters. Everything else is my own and I do not give permission for it to be replicated without consent.

STORY - complete

Part 1: It’s Always Been You

Part 2: You Could Be Happy

Part 3: New Places, Old Faces

Part 4: Vows

Part 5: Aftermath

Part 6: Black Hand

Part 7: Homecoming 🔞

Part 8: Women’s Business

Part 9: Deal With The Devil 🔞

Part 10: Photograph

Part 11: Leverage

Part 12: Gin

Part 13: Provisions

Part 14: Firelight

Part 15: Family Meeting

Part 16: Letters 🔞

Part 17: Black Star Day

Part 18: The Switch 🔞

Part 19: Revelations 🔞

Part 20: Vardo

Part 21: Negotiation

Part 22: The Fall

Part 23: Truths Within The Lies

Part 24: The Longest Night

Part 25: Submission

Part 26: Endgame

Part 27: Afterwards

Part 28: Epilogue 🔞

SHORTS

One shots, inspired by the story

From Paris With Love 🔞

A Sky Full Of Stars

The Princess of Camden Town

Til Death Do Us Part - dark!au spin-off blurb

Masterlists: TOMMY | ALFIE | LUCA | MAIN

Joel Miller x f!reader

Rating: Explicit (COMPLETED)

Summary: Part of a band of travelers, your party is slowly picked off one by one, until there are only two of you left. Finding an abandoned cabin in the woods, you decide to make camp there until you figure out your next move. As the seasons change, the nights get longer and longer…

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Epilogue