Love The Classic Damsel In Distress Trope, But The Damsel In Question Is A Pathetic Fictional Man Bleeding

love the classic damsel in distress trope, but the damsel in question is a pathetic fictional man bleeding out in the dark somewhere on the floor before his ridiculously gorgeous knight comes for his rescue just when he’s about to pass out, and the ridiculously gorgeous knight in question is actually a deranged villain who is his archenemy. but they both have these frustratingly unresolved sexual tension going on where they both hate each other but are also super possessive and protective of each other in the sense that no one else can hurt this little guy but me!!!! and so the knight carries his pathetic damsel in his arms bridal style back to his goth castle where they have hot, kinky gay sex ever after (after he nurses his pathetic enemy’s ass back to health, of course, can’t risk bruising our fragile damsel when he’s already half dead).

dang I want a villain to

This crap isn't fair.

I am so tired of the villain x hero trope. There's so much of it.

I need a damn fanfic where you're just a normal civilian who somehow caught the attention of a damn supervillain. I need that same supervillain to just propose to make a death ray together. AND I NEED US TO SAY YES. BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK WOULDN'T WANT TO BUILD A DEATH RAY???? I DON'T CARE IF I NEED TO DRESS UP ALL PRETTY OR EVEN DRESS LIKE A GOOFY GOOBER I JUST NEED TO BE NORMAL TURNED VILLAIN BECAUSE A VILLAIN

LIKES US.

Anyways, thank you for coming.

this is so lovely, I'd love for it to continue. I can picture the scenes and thoughts really nicely ^^

snippet #2 — constantly rotting

CW — depressed / burnt out henchman , bed rotting , mentioning of medications, dissociating

Henchman hasn't picked up any of the calls from the Villain lately and dear god, Villain was displeased.

And for a good reason, Henchman was the most trusted out of all henchmen in the organization with how well they perform and how they had stayed with the villain since the beginning.

so, how did it all change? They showed up less and less ever since That incident, even if Villain had called or visited them, they didn't have the energy to get out of their bed- their boss being unhappy with their lack of presence was reasonable.

all they do is rot in bed. constantly felt like they were only wasting their years.

Hell, Henchman doesn't even have enough money to live anymore so not only were they on the brink of getting fired or even considering retirement at this point but also getting kicked out of their own apartment.

This is stupid.

They were unemployed in their personal life and even if they did show up at work again, they felt nothing but guilt as others started to talk to them less or try to avoid them ever since. They didn't even know what they did wrong?

so every conversation they tried to take part in felt awkward because of that.

They looked around their room, everything was..a mess.

They sat up on their bed, looking down at their scar filled arms. Why are they even willing to devote themselves to a criminal, thus risking their own life?

many thoughts ran to their head until their phone started to ring again. another daily call from their boss, apparently.

they let it ring until it hung up on itself, while waiting so they finally got up, put on their uniform, and got ready.

if they had remembered correctly, they were called for a personal meeting upon stepping in the building.

And if Henchman was being honest, they were anxious. but at this point, do they even care what would happen to them? no.

–

Well, that didn't go well. for the henchman, at least.

It felt like a counseling session rather than a meeting and it took them back to when they were in highschool.

back to when they got so fucked up that they got sent to therapy and put into medications.

the villain was..worried, yet displeased. they not only had known each other for awhile on the job but they've also been close.

fuck, they felt even more terrible after they were dismissed. going back here was a mistake.

They were ordered to organize more paperworks and, even if the villain didn't say it directly, they didn't want to disappoint the villain even further so they got to work.

Now here they are, printing copies of the documents the villain gave, I mean, most of the time they were dissociating anyway.

nothing felt real at this point, they felt extremely disconnected from their body. almost as if their own body doesn't belong to them.

they wanted to go back rotting in their room again but it seemed like it wasn't an option now that they were here.

they were just staring at the printer as the machine does its thing, well, at least their body is. they didn't seem to hear the knocking on the door of their little office the villain provided them until they felt a tap on their shoulder.

I love you misunderstood villain who’s been through the worst kind of hell and wasn’t able to come out of it unscarred.

I love you villain who is well understood and just likes doing bad things for pure pleasure.

I love you villain who is loved by the fandom.

I love you villain who is hated by the fandom.

I love you villain who has to cry alone and lick their wounds in the dark because they’re too scared to let anybody see them vulnerable.

I love you villain who’s not scared to shout all their pain and trauma at the top of their lungs for the world to hear.

I love you villain who’s on their knees begging to be accepted and loved for once.

I love you villain who never bows down to anyone.

I love you villain who hides their scars like their deep, dark secrets.

I love you villain who shows their scars like trophies from the battles they won.

I love you villain who wants to create a better world, even if their way of trying to achieve the goal is different than hero’s.

I love you villain who wants to burn the world down.

I don’t do that Anti Shit in my house

helluo....would u write a henchman who Really likes cats and villain who has cat based power (which technically means they also have the habits of a cat (i.e loaf, etc etc.)) . wirh the ears n tails n stuff

HENCHMAN X VILLAIN? SAY NO MORE!

Love this prompt, was a really fun write :3

Got fuckin sappy with this one (I mean tbf I have for most of them but you know)

Snippet #6

Henchman peeked up from their work again for maybe the thousandth time so far- they couldn't keep themself focused on the paperwork on their desk with that view constantly at the side of the room!

Villain was laying prone across one of the couches in the room. They were usually meant for people waiting on Henchman for meetings and whatnot but about an hour ago Villain just sat down and got comfy, idly batting around a small pet toy in front of them.

Henchman couldn't take their eyes off- they'd barely completed half a page of the stack in front of them since Villain settled there.

They just looked so goddamn cute!! Their fluffy little cat ears flicking around playfully, their genuine enjoyment of and intent focus on the toy in front of them despite their typical seriousness, their generally adorable face looking so content right now-

"Do you need something, Henchman?"

They snapped out of their daydream at Villain's firm voice calling them out for losing focus, still just as stern and precise as ever despite their adorably tonally unfitting current activity.

"N-Not at all, Villain!" Henchman hastily lied, directing their attention back at their paperwork.

"Then don't lose focus."

Henchman looked down at their paper, trying their hardest to keep their attention on it... but god, they couldn't take their mind off Villain. They so badly wanted to just... pet them, feel that soft fur, hear lil sounds of contentment from them...

After about a minute of failing to keep their mind on anything but their adorable feline boss, they sighed and looked back up.

They weren't sure if asking this was a good idea, but they figured it was either this or disobey Villain by continuing to get nothing done, and they'd rather do absolutely anything than disobey Villain.

"V-Villain?"

They looked up from the toy again to see Henchman... blushing. They weren't sure why, but it was honestly kind of adorable to see. "Yes?"

"I'm, uh... well- uh, I'm getting a little too... d-distracted to focus? Can I take a small break-?"

They hastily whispered something after 'break' that Villain couldn't quite make out. They cocked their head to the side in a way that made Henchman melt just a little more.

"What was that last part, Henchman?"

"O-OH, uh, well, it- uh, well, y'know, it's like- well, I mean-"

"Shh." Villain interrupted, causing Henchman to stop instantly. "Take your time."

It flustered Henchman even more, but they kept it together enough to take a few deep breaths and gather their thoughts.

"Okay... I also- well, I didn't mean to, but-"

"Focus."

"U-Understood. I... asked if I could maybe... pet you a little, too...?"

Henchman was both blushing like mad and was nervous as all hell. It was such a stupid thing to ask, especially to someone this powerful, notorious, and rather amoral. They braced for the reacti-

"Eh, sure. I've got nothing better to do."

Henchman blinked a few times in surprise, processing that they were actually just granted permission before being completely overtaken by excitement.

"REALLY?" They squealed embarrassingly loud, still trying to be careful just in case.

"Ow- Quiet! But... yes." They grumbled back.

"Q-Quiet! Got it!!" Henchman stuttered out, quickly and eagerly going around their desk to the couch. They kneeled next to the couch to be directly next to Villain's head laying on it instead of awkwardly sitting next to their sprawled form.

They took another quick deep breath when they got there to steady themself- they didn't want to be TOO overzealous and make Villain regret their decision. Keeping themself calm for Villain's sake, they gently reached a hand out to brush it across Villain's head... and they let out a gasp, almost melting on the spot.

It was so, so much better than they could've imagined.

It was soft. Not just Villain's precious cat ears, but their beautiful hair entirely! Villain's ears even twitched and they let out a small, adorable sigh on contact!

What got to Henchman the most, though was the temperature.

It was so... warm. Villain was so warm.

Henchman couldn't remember the last time they felt anything like it.

They reached their hand slightly forward to scratch behind Villain's ears. The little sigh that escaped, the visible release of tension as Villain felt the scratch... Henchman had never seen anything so precious in their life, they couldn't get enough of it!

They moved their other hand up as well to pet Villain with both, who let out a typical catlike drawn-out, squeaky yawn in response that almost brought Henchman to tears.

Still maintaining contact, they slowly went from kneeling by the couch to sitting on top of it just next to Villain... who pulled themself forward to rest their head on Henchman's lap.

So much built up serotonin flooded through Henchman, they felt like they could've died on the spot, but they were more than content with that happening by now. The feeling of Villain on their lap, accepting their affection like this... the immense, wonderful sensation of warmth wasn't just physically. They felt so, so comfortable. Safe. Content.

Minutes passed as Henchman cherished every passing second they got to spend like this. They didn't realize how much they'd been wanting... any kind of comforting touch at all, let alone from Villain.

Villain didn't expect to like it... but here they were, relaxed in Henchman's lap, feeling their touch, hearing their precious, flustered, loving, grateful little noises and reactions... they could get used to this. It felt amazing to make Henchman so happy.

As minutes passed, Villain slowly began to doze off. From another small yawn to precious little mumbles to the tiny, slow breaths of sleep, it was impossibly easy to drift off in an environment this comfortable.

It didn't take long for Henchman to follow.

The most peaceful, restful night of either of their lives followed... and even better ones were soon to follow.

Neither had felt so safe before.

i love your prompts to

Villain x Villain prompts

1- "Please, you call this evil? I'll show you what's real evil."

"You're hot."

"Wh-"

"Just kidding."

"You're evil."

"I know."

"Wait no you just tricked me didn't you, you son of a-"

2- "You just ruined so many lives."

"I know."

"I've never been more in love with you."

3- "Every time you stab someone, I want to kiss you even more."

4-"If you die, I will make every person who was even remotely related to your death pay dearly."

"And that, Villain, is the best love confession I've ever gotten."

"Who else tried to confess to you-"

5- "I'm evil. I've made people do unspeakable things"

"I am wicked. I make everyone's life worse"

"I'm cruel. I torture people relentlessly."

"I am remorseless. I don't regret anything I did."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

6-"I'm a terrible human being."

"I'm worse."

"No! I'm worse-"

(Bonus-

Hero walks in, "Is being worse really all you aspire to be in life?"

"Is being annoying all you aspire to be? Can't you see I'm trying to court Villain?")

7- Supervillain- "I know you think I'm a monster, Hero. But I swear to everything, if you hurt Villain, you'll see how much of a monster I really am. You'll see how much I was holding myself back."

8-"I know we went our separate ways, Villain. But I'd be grateful if you could help me one last time, against one last hero."

9- "We've been fighting for so long, Villain. Imagine the terror we could reign together."

"You asking to be my sidekick villain?"

"What! No!-"

10- "What's wrong?"

"... Nothing? Why?"

"You haven't insulted me in a while. I was worried."

(tag me if you use these, plz id love to see what you come up with)