Freesia (A Snapdragon Drabble)

Freesia (A Snapdragon drabble) 

Author D.

Pairing Jungkook / Reader (female)

Genre Med AU | Romance | Angst

Warnings Mentions of cheating

Word count 3k

Summary The feeling was that of déjà-vu. The scene before her eyes felt way too familiar to her heart. And the ache – the ache was just the same.

Snapdragon (main) | Daffodil (sequel)

©️ dfdph, 2021 - all rights reserved. Reposting or translating onto other sites is NOT allowed.

             The pub was as packed as always, people’s voices echoing throughout the big room and a soft music playing in the background. Y/N felt a little irritable that evening and didn’t really feel like socializing, but since her friends insisted so much she convinced herself to go. That morning’s shift was especially hard on Y/N. For unknown reasons Dr. Park, her assigned resident, was in a very bad mood and, of course, took it all out on her – more than he already did. Moreover, as if being insulted every other minute wasn’t enough, Y/N lost one of her patients. She couldn’t have done anything really, the old man was terminally ill, but she had grown quite fond of him.

              The group was sitting around a long table in the corner of the pub. The guys were chatting and laughing about something, but Y/N wasn’t really paying attention. Her eyes were fixed at the bar counter where her boyfriend of two months Jungkook was waiting to get his order through. She wasn’t looking at his wide shoulders or the strong profile of his face. There was something else that was bothering Y/N and it was the presence of a woman next to him. She was clearly eyeing him out, from head to toe. From her perspective she seemed like a beautiful woman, her figure was for sure. Not even the winter apparel could hide her slim body and the ample curve of her breasts. In his defence, Jungkook wasn’t even looking in her direction, but Y/N felt a pang of jealousy nonetheless. She guessed it was one of the cons of having such an attractive boyfriend.

              As he walked back to their table, making the whole pub his personal runaway, Jungkook smiled sweetly at her and she smiled back. Since they started dating again, the man had been nothing but perfect to her, really. Just like in those couple of months they dated back in college, Jungkook proved himself to be very attentive, funny and romantic – and just like back then he – apparently – gave Y/N no reason not to trust him. But tonight – she was not sure if it was because everything went wrong that day – Y/N felt something was off.

              Yet the rest of the night went by smoothly. The guys were being their loud selves as always, reminiscing about past misadventures and laughing about the present. Until, at 2 a.m., they finally decided to call it a night.

              “I’ll go to the toilette first.” Y/N told Jungkook. He nodded, taking his car keys out of his pocket.

              The two of them had started unofficially living together in Y/N’s apartment over the last couple of weeks. It came naturally since they spent most of their time together anyways. It was strange for Y/N at first, sharing her space with another person again after Hoseok, but Jungkook made it easy as he took it slowly and carefully.

              The line to the toilette was long, longer than Y/N expected, half a dozen girls waiting ahead of her. She would have waited as well if it wasn’t for the fact that she was so tired. All she wanted to do was go home and cuddle with her boyfriend under the blankets. She turned around, deciding to catch up with the others, but stopped abruptly on her tracks at the sight in front of her.

              At the end of the dimly lit corridor was a scene that felt way too familiar. Jungkook was leaning on the wall, his hands inside the pocket of his jeans, his eyes on a girl standing in front of him. Y/N recognized her immediately, she was the same one that was staring at him at the counter and was now playing flirtingly with a strand of her wavy hair. The parallel was immediate. The feeling was that of déjà-vu. The scene before her eyes felt way too familiar to her heart. And the ache – the ache was just the same. Y/N felt as if she had been taken back to that day in college, at the last football game of the season, watching as Sarah and Jungkook shared a kiss.

              Her breath hitched and her heart stopped, just like that day. Maybe it was precipitous but Y/N immediately felt pessimistic. She bit her lip, trying to calm herself. She tried pushing the unpleasant feeling aside and forced herself to wait before assuming the worst. She tried to analyse the situation.

              Jungkook wasn’t speaking and was wearing – she was happy to see – a disinterested expression, eyes unfocused on the person in front of him. The latter was the one doing all the talking, standing way too close to him for Y/N’s liking. The fact that Jungkook seemed almost annoyed made her feel slightly better, her feelings going from anxious to jealousy in a heartbeat. She didn’t like seeing another girl talking to him.

              Y/N took a deep breath, her confidence back up, and decisively walked towards the couple. As Jungkook saw her approaching, a smile crept to his face. He broke away from the wall, startling the girl in front of him, and met Y/N halfway.

              “That was quick.” He commented, holding out his hand for her to take.

              “The line is too long.” She answered, intertwining their fingers, her eyes fixed on the other girl who, understanding the situation, cleverly walked away in a hurry. “Let’s go home.”

              The drive to the apartment went quietly. Even if she saw with her own eyes that nothing had happened, Y/N couldn’t help but let her thoughts wonder. Her emotions were going up and down like a rollercoaster, going from jealousy to anger to dismissiveness.

              What if she didn’t walk on them the moment she did? What if she was a few minutes late? What if what she saw wasn’t Jungkook being disinterested but him being cautious? What if the two of them knew each other already?

              A huge part of her knew she was being foolish, but Y/N couldn’t help but feel anxious nonetheless. She knew deep down what was the reason behind what she was feeling, even if she didn’t want to admit it. She couldn’t believe that something that happened so long ago was affecting her now. She couldn’t believe that the first thought she had when seeing Jungkook with another woman was his younger self kissing Sarah near the locker rooms.

              Jungkook, on the other hand, who was now closing the apartment door behind him, had no idea of how deep her girlfriend’s worries were and almost felt amused and pleased by it. From his point of view, his girlfriend being jealous was proof of how much she cared for him.

              He watched as Y/N distractedly took of her coat and then head towards the bathroom without a word. He sighed, trying to suppress a smile.

              He took of his shoes and walked towards their shared bedroom, preparing himself for the talk that was about to come, because there was no way she was letting this slide. He knew her too well. He sat down on the edge of the bed as he heard the water flush. Y/N entered the room a minute later, her eyes down and clearly pensive.

              “Y/N?” he called as she started undressing, her back at him. He decided it was best if he took the lead because he knew how proud she was.

              “Mh?”

              “Can you look at me, please?” Jungkook said softly. The woman didn’t answer nor moved, putting on her pajamas. “Why are you angry at me?”

              “I’m not angry at you.” She replied flatly.

              “Yes, you are.” Jungkook smiled. He never saw this side of her and was looking forward to it, his ego already inflating.

              “I’m not.” She said, still keeping her back at him, combing her hair just to keep herself occupied, an excuse to avoid him.

              Y/N - completely unaware of Jungkook’s thoughts - knew that she was being irrational. Just a couple hours ago she was thinking of how perfect he was for her and here she was now, being angry at him for something he didn’t do but could have done.

              “I know you.”

              “Not well enough, apparently.” She answered more bitter than she meant to.

              Jungkook sighed. “Do you want me to tell you why I think you’re angry?” Y/N shrugged stubbornly. “I think you’re angry because you saw that girl talking to me back at the pub.” He continued unable to hide the smirk in his voice. “And you are being all jealous about it.”

              Y/N kept quiet. She tried to decipher his mood since it didn’t match her own. As she turned around to face him, she surprisingly found him smiling gleefully at her. She felt angry all over again.

              “You think its funny?” she barked seriously.

              It caught Jungkook off guard, he didn’t expect such harshness.

              “You think it’s funny?” she repeated. “I caught you with another woman and you laugh?”

              “Y/N.” Jungkook called her name warningly, straightening his back, finally catching on how serious the situation was. “You were there. You saw what happened.”

              “I didn’t see anything.”

              “Exactly.” He murmured standing up and putting his hands on her shoulders. “Because nothing happened.”

              She shrugged him off instinctively, secretly regretting it as soon as she saw the hurt in his face. “Who was she?” she questioned, giving voice to all her worries.

              “I have no idea.” He admitted sincerely.

              Y/N looked down on the floor, her hands closed in fists. “I saw you talking to her at the counter earlier.”

              Jungkook frowned. “What are you talking about?”

              Somehow, his defensive tone irritated her even more. “Earlier.” She repeated. “While you were ordering your drink, she was next to you.”

              “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He replied.

              Y/N huffed, her heart beating faster for some reason. “I saw you.” She insisted before she could think twice about it. “First at the counter an then in the corridor. Are you sure you don’t know her?”

              “Are you being serious right now?” Jungkook sighed, running his hands through his hair with frustration. “I can’t believe this.”

              Y/N started feeling defensive. “I am serious.”

              “She was some random girl at the pub, Y/N. Are we really doing this?” he asked looking up at her with some undefined emotion.

              She looked away, unable to handle his stare. She knew that this conversation was completely useless and groundless but she was unable to stop herself, it was like she wanted to have this fight. “We are.” She replied. “Because I don’t b–“ she stopped herself abruptly, she knew that what she was about to say was harsh and untrue. But it was too late, Jungkook had caught on it.

              “You don’t believe me?” he completed, clearly offended.

              A heavy silence fell among them. As the seconds passed, the opportunity to correct herself vanished, giving the statement the importance it didn’t have.

              Jungkook looked at her face, trying to meet her eyes with no avail. She wasn’t throwing a tantrum, it was clear to him now. She was deadly serious, she was sincerely hurt. And now he was too. How could she really believe that he would cheat on her? He never gave her the reason to –.

               But I did, he came to a sudden realization. A heavy breath left his lips.

               He too now remembered all those years ago, when everything went downhill for a mistake he had made. He taught that it was in the past, he taught that they cleared that misunderstanding. Apparently, there were still some unsaid things between them.

              All the anger washed away from his body, replaced by nothing but hurt and sadness. Discovering that the woman he loved had no trust in him was terrible enough, but knowing that he gave her the reason for it was heart breaking.

              He took a step away from her, suddenly feeling unable to be near her, guilt invading his whole body, making him ache all over.

              As she saw him walking away, Y/N felt instant panic. She didn’t mean for all of it to degenerate. Logically speaking, she knew that he had done nothing wrong that night. “Where are you going?”

              Jungkook didn’t answer, walking out of the room with heavy steps. Y/N followed. “Jungkook?”

              “What?” he sighed.

              “Where are you going?” she repeated.

              “To get some water, Y/N.”

              She watched as he took a glass from the counter and fill it with fresh water, she watched as he stared to its surface without drinking it, hundreds of emotions in his eyes. She wanted to say she was sorry, that she didn’t mean it, but no words came out of her mouth.

              “I really had no idea who she was.” He mumbled after a while. “She came to me. Yes, her intentions were clear, but I swear I minded my own business.”

              Y/N nodded slowly. “I believe you.”

              Jungkook smiled sadly at her. “Do you?”

              She gulped. He seemed to be looking straight through her. “I do.”

              “I can’t stop people from talking to me.”

              “I know.” She said walking slowly towards him, her anger subsiding for the nth time that evening.

              He put the full glass down and took both of her hands in his. “I have no interest in any of them.”

              Y/N nodded once again, looking down at his thumbs drawing sweet circles on her skin. “I know.”

              “I love you.” Jungkook confessed, trying to convey every emotion he was feeling. “I’m in love with you.”

              Y/N felt her eyes swell with tears as she looked up at him. He looked incredibly sad, his eyes red as well. “I know.” She repeated. “I’m sorry.”

              He shook his head. “I’m the one who is sorry. It’s my fault.”

              “It isn’t.” Y/N reassured him. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”

              “I did. Maybe not tonight, but I did.” Jungkook whispered. “And that’s the reason why you don’t trust me.”

              Y/N squeezed his hands guiltily. “I do trust you. I was being stupid. I know that you did nothing wrong.”

              “Yet you feel betrayed nonetheless.”

              “I-“

              Jungkook shook his head, interrupting her. “It’s okay. I understand.” He said, raising a hand to caress her cheek. “I think – I think that maybe we haven’t really talked about what happened four years ago. I mean really talk about it. We assumed that since it was so long ago it wouldn’t have consequences on our relationship, but clearly we were wrong.”

              “I thought I was over it.” She admitted, relieved that he understood where she was coming from, even before she found the courage to admit it out loud. “I really thought I was.”

              “Me too.”

              “It made me jealous. Seeing you with another girl.” She clarified. “Even if I saw and I knew that nothing happened. It was completely irrational.” She acknowledged. “It brought me back to that day.”

              Jungkook took a deep breath, well aware of what she was talking about. He too was thinking about it, about the day she poured all of her hate towards him and he did nothing but cry in the arms of his friends. “I think I’ve never really apologized to you for what I did. I really am sorry, Y/N, for breaking your trust. For breaking what was meant to be something beautiful.”

              “I’m sorry too.” She smiled through the tears. “For not giving you a chance to explain and for running away.” She thought back at how she closed the door to all of their friends, how she ignored all of their messages or how she completely changed her habits just to avoid him.

              “I should have come to you. I could have but I didn’t. Despite the whole situation with Sarah I should have fought for you.” He rest his forehead against hers. “If only I did, what you felt today would have had a completely different weight.”

              “Just a silly girlfriend being jealous of her handsome boyfriend.” She joked, tears streaming down her cheeks.

              Jungkook nodded grimly. “Instead of a girl fearing of being cheated on once again.”

              “Jungkook.” She cried.

              “It’s what happened.” He reassured her. “There’s no use it denying it.”

              Y/N knew he was right. She wouldn’t have felt the way she did if there wasn’t a precedent.

              “We were young.” She mumbled.

              Jungkook shook his head. “I was stupid and we were proud.” He corrected her.

              “And we aren’t anymore?” she teased.

              “Of course we are.” He smirked drying her tears with his thumb. “The proudest couple in the world. But I don’t want our pride to create misunderstandings between us.” He continued, now seriously. “Let’s promise each other to always talk, to never let anything linger and to always clear things up.”

              “That seems reasonable.” She smiled.

              Jungkook smiled back. “Are we okay?”

              Y/N circled his torso in a hug and nodded. “We are. I’m sorry for overreacting.”

              “I’ll make it up to you.” He promised kissing the crown of her head. “Until one day we’ll completely forget about it.”

              The next morning Y/N found a beautiful bouquet of white flowers laying beside her on the bed. She had slept late, too tired from all that happened the day before. Jungkook, on the other hand, had the morning shift and left the apartment early.

              Y/N sat up on the bed, her hair all dishevelled and brought the flowers to her nose. Their smell reminded her of sweet summer fruits and something delicate.

              She picked up the folded paper attached to it and opened it. He clearly took time to write it and Y/N could imagine him hunched over, thinking about his words. As she read the note, she started tearing up once again.

              “These flowers are called freesias. They symbolize ‘trust’, something that I realized is missing in our relationship. I won’t make the same mistake again. I will not let it ruin what we are trying to build. So I promise to you, Y/N, that from this day forward I’ll work hard to earn your trust again. I promise to you, that you will never feel that way ever again. I committed a terrible mistake years ago and if I have to spend the rest of my days correcting it, I will. Even back then I knew how special you were and I sincerely regretted letting you go when I did. Finding you again, falling in love with you again so easily … it might sound clichéd, but I feel it was destiny. So please, trust me when I say that I love you. I love you, Y/N. More than anything in this world. Jungkook.”

Spotlight is gonna be sooo amazing i just know it!

YAY! Spotlight was put on hold these couple of months but I will go back to it! Hope to see you there!

Are you planning on continuing Snapdragon???

If we are talking about another 20k chapter ... not so sure at the moment. But I'm planning on writing some drabbles about it! Snippets of the past and the future!

I actually just published one called Freesia! Hope you give it a read!

Could we know your favourite sad ending fics?? Man I'm in the mood to cry my ass out (I'm sorry i know I'm weird af)

you're definitely not weird, love! i just haven't read many of those because i'm a bby 😭 here are a few i've read that are wonderfully written even though they broke my heart 💔 please be mindful of the warnings from the author! there's all sorts of angst in here.

take what isn't mine (jjk) by @jimlingss (infidelity)

lotus blooms in mud (pjm) by jimlingss (unrequited love)

euphoria (jjk) by @njkbangtan (mental health, tragedy)

comfort inn ending (jjk) by @joonbird (infidelity)

kiss me more (pjm) by @dulcetvk (infidelity, new!!)

so this is love (knj) by @jinpanman (unrequited love)

until i see you again (ksj) by @bangtanloverboys (unrequited love-ish)

petals (jhs) by @hayjeon (unrequited love-ish)

decalcomania (jjk) by @floralseokjin (infidelity)

just a veil (jjk) by @jjungkookislife (unrequited love)

ungodly beast (jjk) by @kingsuckjin (horror, bittersweet)

emerald (knj) by @dewykth (forbidden love)

petals (kth) by @jungkookiebus (unrequited love)

forever has a limit (jjk) by @readyplayerhobi (infidelity)

hope you enjoy these lovely fics 💕

Updated!

Updated: November 25, 2021

Continua a leggere

Okay so after crying my eyes out with this episode I have finally taken a breathe and my hopes for a happy ending had skyrocketed. In a way it's kinda funny, kinda evil for the writers to give is the sad ending we thought that Dong Kyung and Myeol Mang were supposedly destinated to for them to pull the plot twist. But gotta be honest I am grateful for it because I really wanted to cry lol.

Now why will it be a happy ending? My biggest bet at the moment is that it was the deity's plan all along. She probably thought it was time for her son to become a human and live his life. Of course she couldn't just make him a human and that be it. No, she had to tested him first.

In order for her to know whether he was ready to be a human or not she probably needed for him to experience it a little bit. And that's where Dong Kyung came in.

I remember at one point that Dora told DK that he was born for her. Sure one could say it was because he was doom and all, but maybe it also had another meaning.

Dong Kyung showed Myeol Mang how to be a human without intending to. He cried for real, he became compassionate, he grew emphatic over humans, he felt sorrow and loss, and more importantly he learned about love and sacrifice.

It was kinda interesting how in some of his last moments he mentioned how he couldn't eat, sleep, cry or love yet he has been doing most of that already. He told DK he loved her and he also cried for and along her quite a bit. He was feeling human feelings but somehow didn't acknowledged them.

Now we also have to remember the plant Dora said she planted in the beginning of the show and that she has been caring for all the time and also curious as to whether or not it will bloom. The flower represents MM human version, Saram. She planted the seed that could turn him into a human.

And it was after specials and important moments that MM had with DK that the flower started to slowly grow. And it was also how while they forgot about each other the flower started to die. It's all a metaphor of how humane MM becomes, something that he obtains through DK being in his life, she inspires and helps him.

In the episode the deity also said that she decided to stay a little longer because she wanted to see the flowers bloom. She wanted to see her son turn into a human and live his life happily with DK by his side.

After this episode she will probably plant the bloomed flower on her garden and Saram will make a comeback for real now.

The butterfly also represented his ending as doom. Because doom may be gone forever, but he will get a new chance just this time as a real boy.

Maybe I went a little in circles here, but the point is that I certainly believe he will appear again (which makes a lot of sense considering we still have 2 episodes left) and this time he will be able to live the rest of his human life with DK.

The only question left for me is if DK will recognize him when he comes back and most importantly if he will remember his life as doom or will he fall in love with DK all over again.