There Are Two Types Of Couples

There are two types of couples

Flash: hey everyone! Me and Hal are officially dating

Wonder woman: congratulations!! 

Clark: I knew it! See I wasn't lying when I told you guys that I saw them holding hands.

Diana: that's cute

Arthur: I also saw Barry trying to kiss Hal with hot Cheetos crumbs

Diana: ok now that's not cute 

Bruce: me and Clark are going to get married tomorrow. You all are invited.

Diana: wow..straight up marriage? Still congratulations!!

Hal Jordan: wait, you guys were even dating?

Diana: what makes you question that?

Hal: I saw him punching supes with a Kryptonite ring

Arthur: even I saw them.

Diana: you also saw him punching?

Arthur: Yeah, I saw them punching each other with...their lips

Hal: ew..

Dick: uhh..why is Clark umm..sitting on Bruce's lap

Jason: he came as Santa Claus

Tim: not this year too..

Jason: he asked what's his wish

Dick: don't tell me Bruce again asked for a kiss on his stick for good luck

Jason:[snorting] yeah

Dick: [snickering] When will Clark realize Bruce means his golf stick and not that stick

Tim:[unfazed] Not until Bruce pulls out a ring and asks Clark to wear it as some future Christmas punishment.

Jason: But Bruce is slick for asking Clark to sit on his lap as a punishment this year

Dick: I hope from next year they will stop playing gay chicken

Jason: nah I wanna see how far they gonna go before one of them actually confesses

Tim: easy for you to say, I don't think me going temporarily blind on mission excuse is gonna work next time if I again accidentally walk on them

Dick: Lucky you, I had to pretend I had amnesia for a month. It was hell. Imagine pretending life doesn't suck. Lol can't be me

Jason: not like I didn't walk on them and said 'Good boys go to heaven, bad boys go to Bangkok' and boom he grounded me.

Bruce: what makes you good for my son?

Kon: what is there that I lack? I'm perfect for your son

Jason: I would say he lacks common sense

Dick[sighing]: describe why you love Tim?

Kon: he is a huge coffee addict, the Robin costume looks ugly but I guess those are the things that make him look hella attractive not to mention he has a great as-

Bruce, Damian, Jason & Dick [ready with their weapons on Kon's neck]: be careful how you finish that sentence

Kon[flying out of the window]: HE GOT A GREAT ASS

[An hour later]

Metropolis reporter: today's breaking news Batman and the Robins are chasing after Superboy while throwing profanities. Oh wait we see Red Hood let's ask him about the situation

Reporter: Red Hood what brings you all to the metropolis today?

Red Hood: oh it's just a family outing to promote tourism to Gotham not like we are trying to make Superboy disappear from the face of the earth and bury him somewhere. Now now where did our Superboy kid run off to now?

Reporter:

[In Kent house hold]

Kon: Dad...you know I love you soo much right?

Clark[sighing]: what did you do this time?

Kon: Dad you gotta protect me they are coming for me

Clark: they who?

Kon: the bat fa-

[Window breaking and batfam entering]

Kon[already using Clark as human shield]: they are here dad

Bruce: Clark stay out of this

Clark[confused]: what did he do for the whole bat family to chase after him

Damian: ask him yourself

Clark: so what did you do?

Kon[shyly grinning]: I complimented Tim's ass..

Clark: I mean I see where you are coming from..I mean Bruce also has a great ass..but that's not the point now.

Dick: guess it's time to end the whole Superman bloodline

Jason: deviation in the plan now it's both dad-son duo

Clark: Can I say something before I die?

Bruce[with kryptonite]: you may speak

Clark: Bruce I always wanted to tell you something, you look really beautiful, and last Thursday, you looked amazing in those black undies.

[Collective batfam screaming and fighting] 

Secret Santa at Wayne Manor ft.Superfam

Jason:[fuming] Who thought giving a toy gun in an Xbox pack was a good idea. whoever it is you better start praying. Kon:[ugly sweater but with bad kon pics] HA!? which one of you did this? Jason:[snorting] lmao..you totally deserve it 10/10 to whoever did it. Dick: WOAH!! NO WAY! Thanks to which one of you who gifted me these beautiful customized escrima sticks. I love you. Tim: Aww thanks for this beautiful bracelet and chocolates Jon:[amazed] It's the superhero-themed blanket that I wanted. thank you so much. Damian:[touched] Whoever thought of giving me this precious matte black finish grappling hook bad boy. thank you from the bottom o my heart

Alfred:[wiping away his tears] I want to extend my heartfelt gratitude for this 20-inch pie mould with these complimentary unicorn cookie cutter Martha: thanks to my Secret Santa for these beautiful spice-scented candles. Bruce:[wrapped in new handwoven superman themed scarf] Thank you Martha: what about you Clark? what did you get? Clark:[hiding away the sexy batman body pillow] just some socks, ma.

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Superman - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent & Bruce Wayne, Diana (Wonder Woman) & Clark Kent Characters: Clark Kent, Superman, Bruce Wayne, Batman, Diana (Wonder Woman), Hal Jordan (Green Lantern), Barry Allen, Flash, Martha Kent Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Misunderstandings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Protective Clark Kent, Clark Kent Needs a Hug, Hurt Clark Kent, Jealous Bruce Wayne, Angry Bruce Wayne, Protective Diana (Wonder Woman), Kryptonian Culture & Customs (DCU), Emotional Hurt, Sad Bruce Wayne Summary:

“ The moment Clark realized who his soulmate was, he knew they couldn't be together. Guess even Superman can't have everything. ”

Damian: So, when are you planning to ask him out?

Clark: Ask him out for what?

Dick: Oh, come on now.

Jason: Seriously, man? Really, man? Ask him out for what?

Tim: Okay, to break it down in simple words, we want you to ask Bruce on a date... with the future prospect of proposing to him.

Clark: Um... what makes you guys think this is a good idea?

Dick: No way, you don't know why?

Damian: Look, alien, if it weren't for my dad's eyes lighting up whenever he sees you like his life depends on you, your bones would have been broken—at least once.

Jason: Add kryptonite bullets too.

Dick: And mean memes about Superman.

Tim: Plus maxing out your credit score.

Clark: How did you guys go from suggesting ' I ask him out ' to plotting the downfall of my life?

Jason: See, your handmade pies and cakes are to die for, but our Bruce only wants your built-in cakes and pies.

Tim: Jason, no!

Dick: Jason, slay.

Damian: Clark 0, us 100

Clark: Built-in what?? Never mind, I don't wanna know.