Jim: YOU LYING, CHEATING, PIECE OF SHIT!

Jim: YOU LYING, CHEATING, PIECE OF SHIT!

Bones: oh yeah? YOU’RE the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do! WELL, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Jim: I’M LEAVING AND I’M TAKING SPOCK WITH ME

Spock, picking up the monopoly board: I believe it would be wise to stop playing

Kirk (yelling over the communicator): Scotty, beam us back, quickly! There's a lion storm!

Scotty: Aye, Captain, but don't you mean an ion storm?

(a loud roar in the background)

Kirk: no

Through The Grapevine

Leonard McCoy x reader

⚠️: none

word count: 1,358

~Also Y/F/S/S means your favourite soft song~

You sat down to breakfast in the mess hall, actually on time for once, this morning. Mostly you were half asleep and staring at a plate full of replicator food like it had the answer to life’s greatest questions. Or you were until you overheard some medical personnel mention Bones. “Yeah, he’s been a lot more… I dunno, just a lot less- a lot less Bones-like, I guess?” One man said unsurely in a hushed manner, “you mean he’s a little less grumpy and a little less loud about it?” A girl across from him offered. “I think it’s that newer person in engineering, he’s been a lot less on edge since they started spending so much time together” a guy next to the first man added into the conversation. You smiled to yourself, you’d have to bother Leonard about that later. You still weren’t awake by any means, but still managed to finish up breakfast before dragging yourself down to engineering. It’s not that you don’t like your position, you love working in engineering, it’s just that you’d also rather still be in bed. You get into the engine core and just sort of tinker a bit, there’s nothing actually wrong at the moment, so you just run tests. All of the tests tell you exactly what you already knew from the fact that no one had reported any problems from the last shift, nothing was wrong. It was quiet, just the engine whirring and the occasional distant clatter of tools. Eventually you found yourself nodding off at your desk. —— “Aye!” Scotty called from the doorway of your office, “your shift is over and you slept through the whole thing” He half heartedly reprimanded, but held a look that asked if you were okay. “I’m fine, I’ll sleep more tonight and try not to do it again” you groaned, standing from your chair and stretching. You nodded to Scotty as you left your office and worked your way up to McCoy’s quarters. When you got there he was still on duty, but that’s not really a problem, you know how to keep yourself busy.

You couldn’t wait for Leonard to be there with you, but in the meantime you could clean up a bit. It’s not that it was incredibly dirty or messy, it just felt a bit neglected, seeing as Leonard didn’t really spend enough time in his quarters doing much aside from sleeping to notice. It was just a few small things, honest it was, you just rounded up the files all around the living room into one neat pile on the coffee table and put up a mini holo-projection that shuffled through a couple dozen landscape photos you had taken on past shore leaves (or in some cases, attempted shore leaves) with Leonard. One of your favourites popped up a moment after you set it up, it was a picture you had taken from a bridge, it was the moon reflected off the water, and if you looked closely enough, you could your and Leonard’s reflections as well. You watched the holo-projection flip through photos for a few minutes before moving away and walking over to sit on the couch. You pulled your padd off the coffee table and began to skim through an article on some of the latest stuff in starship engineering.

You’re sure you would have gotten much more use for it if your padd didn’t suddenly ping with a notification from the man himself, Kirk was calling you. You sighed briefly before picking up the call. “It had better be important” you sighed without regard for the fact that it was certainly an impolite way to answer the call. “Wow, not even hello. Bones is really rubbing off on you” Kirk remarked, “sure right, hello. Now what do you want?” You jabbed. “We’re having drinks in rec room 4 and wanted you to come with us” Kirk explained, “No thanks” you let out as soon as he finished. “Are you sure I couldn’t convince you to join us?” Kirk pleaded in much the same way as a child would. “Well” you began, pausing a moment just to keep him on edge “who all is ‘we’ exactly?” You questioned, “Me, of course” he began as though that should be enough, “Uhura, Spock-,” you cut him off there “Is Spock gonna drink?” You asked, “no, I don’t think he will” Kirk replied. “Shame, I would love to see what he’s like drunk” you stated thoughtfully, now wondering if being drunk would make him less logical or somehow more logical. “I’m sure we could convince him to drink” Kirk suggested, “I really don’t think you could” you noted. “Come on, Y/N, don’t you have faith in your captain?!” He asked, “of course I do, but I have more faith in the idea that Spock will find anything that slows his reflexes to be illogical” you pointed out. “Yeah, fine” Kirk conceded, “but do you wanna come or not?” He asked. “Sorry, not tonight” you told Kirk, “Fine, but owe us a fun evening” He said in tone that you knew meant he would hold you to it.

“That’s alright by me” you said before saying goodbye and ending the call. You loved the captain, he was great friend, and always made sure everyone was having the best time possible, but sheesh, he could be a lot of energy sometimes. Just as you were going back to your article and about to read something about iron gluon centrifuges, when the door slid open. You looked up to see Leonard, who to begin with looked sort like a wilted flower, but perked up a little when he saw you sitting on the couch. You dropped your padd on the couch and got up to meet him by the door. You wrapped your arms around him in a loving embrace, and just rested your head against his chest for a moment. “I missed you too” Leonard mumbled into your hair as he gave you a kiss on the head. “You know,” you started with a sly grin, before looking up to face him. “I heard through the grapevine, that I’m the best thing that ever happened to you” you smirked, okay so maybe you exaggerated a little bit, but that’s the essence of what you overheard this morning. Leonard shook his head at you good naturedly as he ushered you further into his quarters. “Stupid, you hear that from me everyday” he smiled down at you as he sat down with you on the couch. “Yeah, but it’s worth mentioning that other people think so too” you bragged, scrunching up your face and sticking out your tongue at him. “Stick out your tongue again and I’ll bite it for you” Leonard playfully warned, “that’s not much a deterrent” you shot back slyly.

“I suppose you’re right” Leonard admitted as he settled further into the couch, pulling you into his side as he did so. “How was your day then, darlin?” Leonard asked you as he wrapped you up in his arms and legs. “Well, uh short” you said trying to avoid the fact that you basically had breakfast and then slept in your office. “And how’s that?” He questioned further, “well” you began before biting your lip a little bit, “I fell asleep in my office” you admitted. “And how much time did you spend that way?” Leonard asked, sounding only a tad bitter that you had gotten genuine sleep. “Basically all day” you told Leonard without looking up at him. “Well at least you got sleep” he sighed, “anyway” you started to change the subject, “chaotic as usual” Leonard answered before you could even ask how his day was. “But I’m here with you now” he sighed softly, gripping you tighter and nuzzling into your neck. You gave a contented sigh at feeling his warmth envelope you as you finally began to melt into him. “Computer, play Y/F/S/S” Leonard softly commanded the system. The music played softly through the room as you and Leonard relaxed together, only occasionally making some offhanded remark or another.

Can you spot the reference to another fic I wrote like two weeks ago? 😊💙💚💛

Jim: vibe check, Spock

Spock: vulcan’t

Kirk, lying awake at 2 am: Do you think mankind has overstepped it's boundaries? It feels sometimes like we are fighting a war against our very nature as beings- stuck perpetuating the circle of mistakes and insufficient attempts to fix them.

Spock, also awake: It is unclear, Jim. However, part of what makes your species so admirable is your need to continue that circle- so long as you persevere and continue to fix your mistakes, the imperfections can be discounted. Do you think mankind is so undeserving of the sympathy you so pride yourselves on?

Kirk: Do you think-

McCoy, his pillow over his head: Do you think mankind is ever going to go the fuck to sleep?

[Kirk is in class at the Academy with his laptop open]

Professor: Who can tell me the distance between the Earth and the Sun?

Kirk: 93.831 million miles.

Professor, seeing Kirk's laptop: You didn't know that, you looked it up!

Cadet sitting behind Kirk: No he didn't. He's looking at anime.

source: @dazzlynreed on twitter