Its May, Hi, Thats The Problem, Its May

it’s may, hi, that’s the problem, it’s may

you: tell me you like cheese without telling me you like ch— me: *summons cows and goats, who gather in a circle around you* *fondue rains from the sky as I lift my hands to the heavens* *cheese is up to your waist as everything around you slowly turns yellow* *you smell a familiar aroma, cheese raining down in torrents and rising up to your neck* *you scream, begging for mercy as your eyes fill with a murky yellow haze* *you hear faint moos and bleats above, and the last thing you see is me, untouched, floating, surrounded by cows and goats with a halo of cheese around my head*

bufftown

so my dad brought home his whiteboard that he uses for work and has entrusted my sisters with the immense power of whiteboard markers. so they did what any logical 8 and 11-year-old would do and created Bufftown, the town where, you guessed it, all of the residents are buff (more or less). characters include Buff Baby, Karen Slay, and Chef Buff. it’s absolutely lovely.

basic human evolution

early humans: hey guys! we have Life Water!! come live here!! modern humans: we have the Big Fish Water. give us money so you may behold its beauty.

i know a bit of spanish and i’ll speak it when necessary, but sometimes the lil workers in my phone will misunderstand and send me an ad in spanish. and then its just like. aww. thanks cuties i’m flattered you think i’m competent enough to understand this