Every Man Who Has A Problem With Feminism And Just Women In General Is Into That Painful Bdsm Extreme

every man who has a problem with feminism and just women in general is into that painful bdsm extreme type porn and hmmmmmmmmm… i wonder… if there is a link there somewhere…… almost…….. hmmm…..

I don’t understand how the BDSM community constantly talks about how important consent is, but then they also talk about “subspace” as if it’s a totally normal and even desirable result of a “scene.” 

“Subspace” describes the state of someone who has gone through so much pain during a BDSM “scene” that they enter a dissociative state in order to cope with it. It’s often described as being similar to an out of body experience, as being “trance-like,” or as being a state where the mind recedes from the body. 

Even putting aside from the fact that it doesn’t seem healthy in the first place to hurt someone so badly they have dissociate to cope with it, how exactly can someone give ongoing consent when they’re in a state like that? If a person isn’t competent to give consent when their brain is under the influence of alcohol or drugs, how are they mentally competent to give consent when they’re literally in a dissociative state? 

People who are anti bdsm/anti kink seem to think that me needing aftercare is “I’m having an emotional breakdown after sex because I feel bad plz help me uwu” when really it’s my boyfriend cuddling me after sex making me feel loved and secure. It’s him holding me while I come down from the intense [plesurable and adrenalin inducing] emotions, and the “aftershock” I get sometimes, while he chuckles and goes “You okay babe?”. It’s me telling him “My heart is beating really fast.” and him telling me “Breathe, babe.” while he strokes my body. It’s him holding my hand and smiling while we start our next episode of House Hunters.

Stop talking about aftercare when you don’t even understand what it is. Thanks.

people with rape kinks/abduction kinks/any kinks that directly involve overriding the autonomy of another person and harming them in a very serious way should take a hard look at themselves to examine exactly why they find the idea of intimately harming another human being so enthralling

a huge problem with the ultra-liberal sex positivity movement is that a lot of its rhetoric centers violence as an inherent aspect of sex. like if there isn’t some form of pain or harm, is it even “good sex”? while not all bdsm is bad, the presentation of violence (and let’s face it, the default is overwhelmingly man-hits-or-degrades-woman) as something that is inherently sexual enables abuse. like this weird discourse that presents physical impact or aggression as a precursor to having a healthy/active sex life serves to normalize aggression in general, and enables men with harmful motives in their efforts to abuse women.

broke: bdsm is healthy if the submissive is consenting

woke: look into what you want as a submissive and try to justify a scenario in which a dominant would want to do that without ulterior abusive/manipulatiuve motive before consenting