Consideringempty - Gloomy Vegetarian - Tumblr Blog
sometimes you're just cold and need a hand to hold
like, buddy, I'm doing this for you. please stop glaring.
Chewy package arrived:
I'm so nervous 😬 fingers crossed this goes well
9/11/19
today marks a new day for the kitties in this household. and they know it.
switching foods, cause what they eat right now is garbage and I hadn't even realized.
I cried today in front of a friend. it wasn't on purpose, and I didn't want to. I was feeling depressed, trying to say something when I trailed off and my eyes started watering. we were just hanging out.
we sat in awkward silence for a few minutes before she started strumming her guitar that was in her lap. I started crying more, quietly. and we continued like this for a while.
"is everything alright?"
and I said, "yes, this is pretty normal" in a very small voice.
she stared playing a song for a while, and made a few jokes that I tried to smile at. she also offered me a tissue from her bedside table.
I ended up sitting in her room quietly crying for an hour. when it was time to leave I tried to explain in as few words as possible, "I don't know if I've told you this before. I try not to mention it. but I've struggled with depression for a long time and I didn't realize I'd feel this way when we said we'd hang out yesterday." and after more silence, "did you know?"
"yeah, I figured."
and then I got up to leave. we said goodbye and I walked to my car and drove home.
I sat in her room, crying, for an hour.
she didn't ask to talk about it. or acknowledge it until the very end.
and I know it's terribly unfair of me to feel this way, but I'm angry. I'm so upset that she didn't even say anything. she tried to cheer me up yeah. but- but it wasn't that kind of a day.
and now my head hurts, and my heart hurts, and my eyes hurt because I've been crying all evening.
so... I don't know how I'll face her tomorrow (we're going to an event together.) because I'm angry and hurt and it's so incredibly unfair of me.
I wish they would message me.
I wish somebody would message me.
I wish anybody would message me.
and ask how I'm doing.
living life one day at a time.
am I insta worthy yet?
"I have a headache" is code word for "I'm depressed"
feeling “tired” is code word for depressed
I'm really not good about my flaws or failing. I'm really not good at it. the second I fail even if it's a tiny bit, my world falls apart and I fall into a depressed stupor.
you know what I did today?
made gross tasting donuts.
they're edible? I guess? at least I was told they tasted good, but I thought they were nasty. I can't even eat another one because it's so gross!
but well, now I can't even breathe I'm so depressed.
......................
except, I'm writing this down.
so that's good?
idk.
idc.
I don't wanna think about it anymore.
bye.
i'm sad.
Vegan Korean Bibimbap
is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time? or does that invalidate the feelings for both?
“We build up walls, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”
— Source unknown.
i feel so alone.
I suck I suck I suck I hate myself