๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
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Taylor Put Something In Dont Blame Me
taylor put something in Donโt Blame Me
idk what but itโs got me feeling some kind of way 24/7
it was my most played song with 287 times so !!
yeah ๐ song
-
willows-lane reblogged this · 1 year ago
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missing u gorl ๐
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(Missing you too bb)
So good! Iโm in love (with you)
๐๐ฎ๐๐๐ฅ๐๐ ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐ญ๐๐ก, chapter 4



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"Y/N! Wake up right now!"
You stirred in your bed before you heard your mother's voice ring out again, except this time she was closer. She came into your room and she opened the blinds, making you let out a loud groan.
Yesterday was the most eventful day yet. You found your best friend's boyfriend (who you've been in love with since the 9th grade) slept with your other best friend the same night he told you he loved you. It sounds worse than it is, you swear.
You were also very hungover, considering you had... you're actually not sure how many vodka redbulls you had last night, but they were way more than you should've.
As your mother's voice echoed in your ears, you groaned and buried your head deeper into your pillow, the events of the previous night flooding back to your memory. The room spun slightly as you tried to sit up, your head throbbing with each movement.
You rubbed your eyes, the morning sunlight searing into your brain like a hot poker. "Mom, can you please close the blinds? I'm dying here."
Your mother ignored your plea, her expression stern as she crossed her arms over her chest. "We have brunch in two hours. Remember, the Bass' annual brunch?"
You groaned again, rolling over and burying your face in your pillow. "Mom, I can't do this today," you muttered, your voice muffled by the fabric of your pillow.
But your mother was having none of it. She pulled the covers off you, leaving you exposed to the chilly morning air. "I don't care what you can or can't do, Y/N. You need to get up and face the day. Now."
"Mom!"
"Your father wants you there, okay? Get up and take a shower, for the love of god." Your mother's voice cut through your haze, firm and unwavering.
You looked up at your mom, confusion on your expression as you sat up. "Wait, what do you mean?"
"I'm not going, I have a meeting." Your mother replied, her tone softened slightly. "But you need to go. And you need to make an effort, especially after last night."
You blinked, the events of the previous night flooding back to you in a rush. The party, Nate, Serena... It all felt like a bad dream. But the reality of it hit you like a ton of bricks as you groaned inwardly. "Can I come with you, please? I can be a great secretary."
Your mother gave you a pointed look as you rolled your eyes. You let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through your tousled hair. "Fine," you muttered, pushing yourself out of bed with a resigned sigh. "But I'm not wearing heels."
"You are going to wear what I picked, sweetheart." She wiggled her eyebrows playfully as you swung your legs out of the bed.
You grumbled under your breath, knowing it was futile to argue with your mother when she had her mind set. As you heard her footsteps fade down the hallway, you flopped back onto your bed with a defeated groan. Today was shaping up to be even more of a nightmare than yesterday.
"Out of the bed, Y/N!"
With a resigned shrug, you trudged towards the bathroom to start getting ready for the day ahead.
โโเฑจเงโโ
You walked into the Palace, heels clicking as you walked next to your family. You were wearing a deep frown as your father walked hand-in-hand with Josie, Charlene walking next to you.
The elegant decor and the clinking of glasses only served to remind you of the facade of perfection that often overshadowed the reality of life in the Upper East Side. But you plastered on a polite smile, burying your turmoil beneath a facade of composure. After all, in the world of Manhattan's elite, appearances were everything. And you were determined not to let the cracks show.
"Charlene is going to follow in my footsteps, she will be attending Harvard." Your father looked at Charlene, a proud grin plastered on his face as you felt slight resentment building in your stomach.
Harvard, prestigious and exciting, had always been a dream for you. Yet here you were, overshadowed by Charlene, forced to the sidelines of your father's attention.
It irked you that Charlene, who wasn't even his biological daughter, was being showered with praise while you felt overlooked and underappreciated. The unfairness of it all left a bitter taste in your mouth, threatening to sour the already strained atmosphere.
You fought to keep your own smile in place, masking the bitterness that threatened to consume you. It wasn't Charlene's fault, after all. She was just a pawn in your father's game of appearances, a tool to bolster his image of prestige.
You felt a tap on your shoulder, turning to meet Blair's eyes. You couldn't help but let out a relieved sigh as she greeted your parents. "You won't mind if I steal Y/N for a moment?"
"Of course not, dear. She's all yours." Josie spoke with a grin as Blair grabbed your arm, pulling you away from your 'family.'
"Thank you, B." You let out a big exhale, earning a soft chuckle from Blair.
"I heard what your father was saying about your step sister. That was cold, I mean... really cold." Blair gave you a sympathetic nod as you let out a bitter scoff. Harvard has been your dream since you were a kid, basically.
And now he just passes the dream off to Charlene like it meant absolutely nothing. "It's not fair."
Blair's expression softened with understanding as she listened to your frustration. "I can't imagine how mad that must feel, Y/N. Harvard has been your dream for as long as I've known you."
"It doesn't matter anymore." You muttered as you reached the drinks, pouring yourself a glass of scotch.
Blair gave you an amused look. "It's barely noon, Y/N. Scotch?"
You shrugged nonchalantly, taking a sip of the scotch and relishing in the burn as it slid down your throat. "Why not? It's been that kind of morning."
Blair chuckled, shaking her head as she reached for a glass of champagne. "Well, if we're indulging, might as well make it a proper brunch, right?"
You smirked, raising your glass in agreement. "Cheers to that, sister."
One glass of scotch turned into three, and now you were seated next to Chuck Bass laughing at every word that came out of his mouth.
"So, Y/N," Chuck drawled, a glint in his eyes as he leaned closer. "Any scandalous gossip to share with your old pal?"
You raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk playing on your lips. "If I told you, Bass, it wouldn't be scandalous anymore, would it?"
Chuck chuckled, his laughter infectious. "Touchรฉ, my dear. But a little birdie told me you're the one with all the juicy secrets."
You feigned innocence, batting your eyelashes in mock surprise. "Oh, I'm just a humble observer of the Upper East Side drama, Chuck. But who knows? Maybe I'll let you in on a secret or two."
Blair, who was sitting across from you, rolled her eyes playfully at Chuck's smooth talk. "Don't encourage him, Y/N. You know what happens when you do."
You let out a very loud laugh, making Blair snort as you shook your head. You heard the chair next to you drag and you looked up to meet Nate's blue eyes. You rolled your eyes, not hiding your annoyance as he took a seat next to Chuck, separating you two.
"Looks like the gang's all here," Chuck remarked, a knowing smirk on his lips before he continued. "Oh, except Serena."
Chuck's mention of Serena brought a sudden stillness to the table, the jovial atmosphere tempered by her absence. You glanced around, noting the subtle shift in mood as everyone exchanged uneasy looks.
Blair rolled her eyes as she took a sip of her mimosa. "You really know how to ruin the mood, Chuck."
Chuck chuckled, unfazed by Blair's remark. "Just keeping things interesting, Blair. Wouldn't want our brunch to be too dull now, would we?"
Nate cleared his throat, breaking the tension with a forced smile. "So, what's on the agenda for today, aside from the gossip and bottomless mimosas?"
Blair shot Nate a pointed look, her tone dripping with sarcasm. "Well, considering you're here, I'd say we have all the ingredients for a classic Upper East Side drama."
You couldn't help but laugh at Blair's dry humor, grateful for the brief respite from the tension. "Ah, the joys of being back in Manhattan."
"Actually we're missing one key ingredient." Chuck smirked as his gaze fell on the previously mentioned blonde with the same guy she was with the night before, on the other side of the venue. "Looks like she decided to come by."
Blair's gaze fell on Serena, a bitter laugh falling out of her lips. "You've gotta be kidding me."
You got up from the table, grabbing your glass as you tried to walk away. Instead, you tripped, causing Nate to hold on your arm to stabilize you. "How many drinks have you had?"
"Why do you care, Nate?" You spoke as you ripped your arm from his grip, excusing yourself to go get yourself another drink.
Nate watched you go with a troubled expression, his eyes following your retreating figure with concern. He knew you were hurting, and seeing you in this state only added to his guilt.
As you made your way to the bar, the room seemed to spin slightly around you, the weight of the previous night's events pressing down on your shoulders. You reached the bar and poured another drink, the cool liquid providing a temporary comfort from the problems in your life right now.
Before you could drink it, you felt someone grip your arm. You looked to meet your father's disappointed gaze. "That's your third glass, Y/N. Put it down."
You narrowed your eyes as you let out a bitter scoff. "Since when do you care? How about you check on your sweet Charlene."
"So this is what this is about? You're jealous I'm giving Charlene some attention. Come on, Y/N, you're acting like a child." Your father whispered as he looked around, making sure no one is watching too hard.
You clenched your jaw, the bitterness of your own words lingering on your tongue as you glared at your father. "I'm not jealous, Dad. I'm just angry that you just threw away me and Mom for a brand new, shiny family. How do you think I feel?"
Your father's eyes widened in surprise at your words, the weight of your accusation hitting him like a blow. He opened his mouth to respond, but the words seemed to catch in his throat as he struggled to reply.
You glared at him, a bitter laugh escaping your lips. "That's what I thought." With that, you shrugged off his grip and stormed away, the weight of your resentment heavy on your shoulders.
As you walked away, you left the room and began walking through the Palace. You were so overwhelmed, you didn't even know what to do anymore. You couldn't run away from it anymore, you had to face it.
You were walking before you ran into Serena and Nate, talking. They both saw you and Serena immediately began walking toward you, Nate following the both of you.
"I need to talk to you." Serena spoke with urgency, her eyes pleading for your attention.
You crossed your arms over your chest, a defensive barrier between you and the two people who had caused you so much turmoil. "I don't think there's anything left to say, Serena."
"You told her too?" Serena sent a glare toward Nate, causing you to scoff.
"I didn't, it was Blair." Nate's gaze was on you as he spoke, guilt in his expression.
Your eyes stayed on Serena. "Why does it matter? I know now."
Serena's expression softened, her voice filled with remorse. "Y/N, I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen."
"Can we all just talk please? Not here, though." Nate spoke as his gaze flickered between you and Serena. "Meet me in Chuck's suite in 10, okay?"
You hesitated for a second as Serena took the key from him as he walked away. You looked up at the taller blonde, your heart heavy with conflicting emotions. "Fine."
You and Serena made your way to Chuck's suite in tense silence before she broke the silence. "Look, I know hurt Blair. And I know you're trying to protect her but... I don't like Nate, you have to believe me. I was drunk and-and hurt, Y/N."
Your steps slowed as Serena's words sank in, the tension in the air thickening with each passing moment. Despite the anger and betrayal swirling inside you, you couldn't deny the honesty in Serena's voice.
"I get that you were hurt, Serena," you began, your tone softer than before. "But that doesn't change the fact that what you did... it hurt Blair. And me too."
Serena's eyes pleaded with you for understanding. "I know, Y/N. And I'm sorry. But I can't have both of my best friends angry at me, I don't know how I'd manage."
You sighed, feeling the weight of Serena's words. "I know. I get it. I'm not mad at you but that doesn't mean I'm taking your side in this whole mess, I'll do my best to get Blair to relax."
Serena's shoulders relaxed slightly at your words, a faint smile touching her lips. "Thank you, Y/N. That means a lot to me."
You returned her smile with a nod, knowing that resolving the tension between Serena and Blair wouldn't be easy, but feeling determined to try. "Let's just take it one step at a time, okay? We'll figure things out."
You got to Chuck's suite and waited inside. And as you heard the door swing open, your eyebrows furrowed as you saw Blair and Nate kissing before he slowly pulls her off. "Wait, this is Chuck's suite."
"Nate." Serena spoke as she watched the scene in front of her.
Blair's eyes flickered in between you and Serena, anger clear in her expression. "What is she doing here?"
"Meeting Nate," Serena replied honestly as you let out an exhale.
"Me and Y/N just wanted to talk her, I swear." Nate's voice was rushed as he tried to explain, as he glanced between you, Blair, and Serena, his expression caught between guilt and irritation.
"You said you'd never speak to her again." Blair's voice sounded hurt as she glared back at Nate, her voice sharp with accusation.
"You said that?" You muttered as you rolled your eyes. How the hell did you get mixed up in all this? This is what happens when you give people the benefit of the doubt.
"Why would you say that?" Serena's voice was laced with disbelief as she glared back at Blair.
Blair's gaze hardened as she turned to face you. "Why are you even here, Y/N? Are you taking her side now? She can't be trusted, I thought I told you."
"It's not Serena's fault." You and Nate spoke in union, earning a scoff from Blair.
"I asked her to come." Nate continued as his eyes flickered to yours.
"Oh! Oh, so you wanted to talk." Blair's voice boomed as she glared back at Nate, her voice laced with betrayal.
"Yes, to explain why we... aren't talking." Nate continued, his voice faltering slightly under Blair's intense gaze.
"Fine. Maybe I'll leave you guys to finish this fancistaniating conversation." Blair's jaw tensed, her frustration evident as she glanced between you, Nate, and Serena as she began walking away.
"Oh, no, no I'll go. I'll let you two get back to your quickie." Serena's voice dripped with sarcasm as she walked up to Blair, her tone biting with resentment.
Blair shot Serena a scathing look, her eyes flashing with anger. "It wasn't a quickie. Sex is actually kind of a big deal to some of us!"
"Enough, both of you," you said firmly, your voice cutting through the silence. "We're not going to accomplish anything by arguing like this."
Blair's jaw clenched as she shot you a sharp look, her frustration evident. "You don't understand, Y/N. Serena is the reason for all of this mess."
Serena glared back at Blair, scoffing bitterly as she ignored your words. "Losing your v-card in Chuck's bed, real romantic. Classy too."
"Oh, like you?" Blair let out a bitter laugh as she looked in between you two before backing up slowly. "I bet your new friend Dan would love to hear all about how classy you are."
"Blair!" You shouted as Blair ran out of the suite, running after her. You lost her quickly, looking everywhere to go find her. You didn't even know why you cared so much, you didn't want to be involved in this mess anymore.
Blair found Dan quickly, going up to him with a big grin. "Dan! Hi. I'm Blair Waldorf, Serena's friend." She shook his hand, his expression confused.
"Oh, yeah. Hey, do you, uh know where she is?" Dan asked, his brows furrowing in concern as he met Blair's gaze.
"As a matter of fact, I do!" Blair's smile didn't falter as she began to speak before getting interuppted.
"Blair." You spoke as you glared at her. Serena and Nate followed behind you, crowding in the middle as Blair turned back to Dan.
"Serena, there you are. Uh, where were you?" Dan looked uncomfortable as everyone crowded him, the tension palpable.
"She was waiting in a hotel room for my boyfriend. To talk." Blair gave Serena a fake smile as your jaw dropped at her words.
"About why we weren't talking." Nate interjected as Blair glares at him.
"That doesn't sound any smarter the second time." Blair retorted, her tone sharp with frustration.
"I was there too." You spoke, giving Blair a glare. "If that helps." You gave Dan a sympathetic smile.
Dan's expression shifted from confusion to annoyance as he glanced between Serena and Blair, his brow furrowing deeper. "Why weren't you talking?"
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Chuck's smooth voice cut through the tension, his smirk widening as he surveyed the group. "Looks like we've stumbled upon quite the scandal."
"Oh, exactly what this situation needs, Chuck." Dan spoke, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "Now what's going on here?"
"We were just getting to that." Blair turned to face Dan, a bitter smile etched on her lips.
"Blair, please. Don't do this." Serena pleaded, her voice tinged with desperation as she glanced between Blair and Dan.
"Sorry. You wanna tell him?" Blair's voice was laced with feign concern as she spoke.
You rolled your eyes, sighing. "This is pathetic. Oh my god." You muttered before Chuck spoke.
"I'll tell him." He spoke proudly as everyone shot him a look.
"You know?" They all (except Dan, of course) spoke with shocked looks.
"I know everything." Chuck's smirk widened as he sauntered forward, reveling in the attention.
Dan sighed, his frustration evident in his tone as he looked around at the group, his brows furrowed in confusion. "And apparently, I know nothing."
"Look, Dan. It-it was a long time ago and I regret it." Serena began to explain before Chuck interrupted.
"Look, Serena, stop trying to pretend you're a good girl. So you slept with your best friend's boyfriend, I kinda admire you for it." Chuck's words hung in the air, a heavy silence descending upon the room as everyone processed his callous remark.
Serena's expression hardened, her jaw clenched with anger as she shot Chuck a scathing glare. Her eyes began to well up as your head fell back in utter irritation.
"Chuck, that's enough," you interjected, your voice firm as you shot him a warning glance. "This isn't helping anyone."
"Is that true?" Dan spoke, hurt evident in his voice.
"Well, then she ran away and lied about it. I just thought you should know before you fall head over heels for your perfect girl and her perfect world, and then get left alone with no one but your cabbage-patch kid." Blair spoke, amusement in her voice as everyone watched her. Dan's expression darkened as he processed her words, the hurt evident in his eyes.
"Cabbage patch?" You and Nate both said in union, your gaze flickering on each other before Blair continued.
"Did you talk to my sister?" Dan's voice was strained as he addressed Blair, his eyes searching hers for answers.
"Ah, yes little Jenny. I do believe me and her have some unfinished business." Chuck's voice interjected, his tone dripping with mischief as he stepped forward, his gaze locked on Dan.
"Chuck, what the hell? Isn't she a freshman?" You looked confused as you looked around the group, looking for answers but no one to give them to you.
"You stay away from her." Dan got close to Chuck as she spoke, anger evident in his expression.
"Poor Daniel. So little time, so many sluts to defend." Chuck smirked, obviously trying to get a rise out of Dan before he shoved him harshly into a table, glasses breaking as he fell to the ground.
Everyone in the room exchanged glances, shocked and amused ones. The room fell into a stunned silence as Dan's shove sent Chuck crashing into the table, the sound of breaking glass echoing in the room. Chuck regained his footing, his expression a mixture of surprise and irritation as he straightened himself.
Dan let out a big exhale as he looked at everyone in the room, regret seeping into his expression. "It's fine, it's fine, everyone can stop looking. He's a jerk. But it's-it's my fault and I'm leaving."
"I'll go with you." Serena spoke up, her voice soft as she turned to face Dan as he walked away.
"Actually, I'd prefer if you didn't." Dan replied, his tone firm and tinged with anger. He glanced at Serena with a mixture of disappointment and hurt before turning to leave the room.
As Dan walked away, leaving the room in a cloud of tension and unresolved emotions, you felt a surge of frustration and anger building up inside you. The chaos and drama that had unfolded before your eyes had reached its breaking point, and you couldn't hold back any longer.
"Seriously?" you exclaimed, your voice cutting through the quiet like a knife. "This is ridiculous! We're all acting like children, pointing fingers and placing blame, but what does that solve? Nothing!"
Blair opened her mouth to retort, but you didn't give her the chance to speak.
"And you," you continued as you glared at Blair, your voice cutting. "You can't keep dragging everyone down with your drama. You're so focused on your own vendettas and insecurities that you're willing to hurt everyone around you, including your own friends!"
Your gaze swept over the group, your frustration evident in your expression. "Nate, you can't just sit by and watch this happen when it all started with you. And Chuck, for once in your life, could you please just keep your mouth shut?"
Chuck's smirk faltered, his expression shifting from amusement to surprise as he regarded you with a raised eyebrow.
"You all need to grow up. You think this is some kind of game, but you're hurting people in the process. That poor guy, what was his name... Dan didn't deserve that. And even though Serena did some bad things, she doesn't deserve this, and I sure as hell don't deserve to be dragged into your mess." You spoke quietly as your words hung in the air, the tension in the room palpable as everyone processed your outburst.
You sighed before shaking your head, walking out of the room and out of the Palace. This was exactly why you didn't want to come to the brunch and why you didn't wanna come back to Manhattan. It was all drama, drama, drama. No logical thinking or empathy, just grudge-holding and gossip. It made you feel suffocated and you hated being dragged along in drama you didn't ask to be in.
But you knew that you didn't have a choice, that was just the life you were born into. Only a brunch in Manhattan can be this dramatic.
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You sat on your bedroom floor, going through the tens of albums of photos you have with Serena and Blair. It made you feel nostalgic and bittersweet. Each photograph captured a moment frozen in time, a memory of happier days before the drama and tension had consumed your friendship.
As you traced your fingers over the pictures, memories flooded back, reminding you of the moments you had cherished together. From late-night conversations to adventures, you had experienced so much together, and it was hard to believe how much had changed.
But now, everything felt different. The trust had been broken, and the rift between you seemed impossible to mend. You longed for the simplicity of those days, when your friendship was uncomplicated and unwavering.
As you lingered on each photo, you couldn't help but wonder if things would ever be the same again. Could you repair the damage that had been done? Could you rebuild the trust that had been shattered? Or was this the end of an era, the inevitable conclusion of a friendship that had once meant everything to you and the girls you'd once called your sisters.
As you flipped through the album, you stumbled across a photo of you and Nate. You were transported back in time, when you and Nate would spend every waking moment together. There were no secrets and no hidden feelings, it was pure friendship. But as you stared at the photo, focused on the way Nate stared at you, you wondered if you were naive to think that was all it ever was.
You couldn't help but wonder if you had been blind to the signs, oblivious to the undercurrents of attraction that may have existed beneath the surface of your friendship. Had you missed the subtle hints and longing glances, too caught up in the comfort of familiarity to see what was right in front of you?
As you continued to study the photo, a sense of longing washed over you, mingled with a twinge of regret. Regret for not exploring those feelings when you had the chance, for letting fear hold you back from taking that leap of faith.
You were quickly jolted out of your head as you felt your phone buzz on your bed. You got up from the floor and picked it up, reading the caller ID. The picture of Blair flashed on your phone screen, accompanied by her name. You hesitated for a moment, debating whether or not to answer.
With a resigned sigh, you swiped to answer the call, bringing the phone to your ear. "Hey, Blair," you greeted, your voice tinged with uncertainty.
"Hey." Blair's voice came through the line, a hint of hesitation in her tone. "I, um... I wanted to talk."
You swallowed hard, steeling yourself for whatever conversation was about to unfold. "Okay, go ahead."
There was a brief pause on the other end of the line before Blair spoke again, her voice soft. "Today, at brunch. I should've never got you involved like that and if I wanted to screw Serena over, I should've waited for a better time. I... I'm sorry."
"No, it's alright," you replied, your own voice softening with understanding. "I shouldn't have went up to the suite with Serena, especially knowing that Nate was gonna meet up with us. I just want everyone to get along."
"You're sweet for thinking that and that's why I love you so much." Blair paused as she tried to find the right words. "Serena just isn't... she isn't good for us."
"Blair, I know you think you're trying to help me and I-I appreciate the sentiment but... I don't know. We've all been close for so long, I don't wanna choose a side. Serena messed up really bad but everyone deserves a second chance, right?" You rambled, not really knowing what to say.
Blair paused for a moment. "I don't think she deserves a second chance." Her voice was bitter and you could sense the hurt even from the phone. "But I can't expect you to choose a side. The one thing I ask is that we have to stay close, I can't lose two of my best friends."
That's exactly what Serena had said earlier and you wanted to tell Blair but it just didn't seem right. You wanted to tell Blair that shouldn't be so stubborn and cold, especially to her best friend but you couldn't find it in you.
You didn't blame Blair, either. You couldn't even imagine how betrayed you'd feel if Serena had done that to you - or anyone, for that matter. But at the same time, Blair shouldn't be acting like a child and making it her life mission to ruin Serena's life.
But it's not that simple, it never is.
"It's okay, B. I love you." You spoke, your voice exhausted.
Blair's silence hung heavy on the line for a moment before she spoke again, her voice softer this time. "I love you too, Y/N."

